Deck your halls & dress your trees, the BESH are gifting BFPs

[WinklyVersusTheZombies]

Doff your top hats, lean on your canes, 'tis a Victorian Christmas for the BESH. Baste those turkeys in Victoria & Albert style, and maintain a stiff upper lip when you fill in the BESHtionnaire to see if you are cynical stoic enough to win a Baybee.

It's the "baby dancing" that gets me the most . FFS, it's SEX, if you're not mature enough to use the word, you're not mature enough to be going it

You mean you don't want a The BESH are spreading baybee dust over the twinkly stars to have a Valentine's BFP speshul draf?!

Our next fred is a Famous Five one

God, I saw the babydust thread. She hadn't had any replies after two hours and I was hoping she may get the message. Don't tell me people have responded?

BD, AF, babydust.....

faif I just sicked up in my mouth reading that.

Even my user name is too fucking chirpy for me today. I would change it to something miserable but rie might shout at me

if you're not mature enough to use the word, you're not mature enough to be going it - hahahaha frank!

Of course I meant doing

Oh! I wasn't laughing at your typo - I hadn't even noticed! It was the sentiment I was laughing at.

I won't shout at you

Because you have let me know in advance you see. I don't like changes to my routine

This is the problem - we always think of excellent new feems mid-fred, but can we ever remember then when we hit 980 posts? Can we feck.

I might reply to the baybeedancing babybeeduster using words like fuck and blob and, umm

No, I made frank blush and am just too fucking cross at nothing to be bothered namechanging.

I really like the Famous Five feem. Camping, bacon and eggs, Aunt Fanny pouring lashings of ginger beer? Topping!

How are the eggies Jeffers???

I think I hate blob even more than AF, to be honest. It's up there with shaft and rod and moist

That thread is Not Happening, faif.

I like valentines day though. HOTB is dead romantic - for our second valentines he gave me a box of condoms...

Draf, I think you have a problem with Naughty Parts Of The Body words

I'm with you on moist. Also.... probe

I hate blob too, draf. Yuck. But I will use it for the greater good of grossing out a babyduster.

Now Draf that's just showing off

I confused poor HWCA on our first v-day, by insisting I didn't want him to buy a present. I absolutely meant it, I don't do v-day, but everywhere the poor man turned he was being told women don't mean it when they say they don't want a gift. He was Conflicted. He went with the option that required the least effort bloody typical which on that occasion was the correct one.

There is a place in Cornwall called Probus. Wrong on every level.
It sounds far too close to both probe and anus. Yeurgh.

Nice eggs, Jeff.

Frank I agree, but not from work. So it's dtd or similar while I'm in the office. I won't post rudey or swear words from my work PC (am at work now, hence "rudey"). I don't want the IT police camped out in my office.

I think a Famous Five fred sounds ace.

faif the poster irritated me as is probably self-evident from my response. What does she expect us to do ffs? Read our tea leaves and work out whether or not she is up the duff? POAS and if you think something weird is going on despite arctic stickage, go to your flipping GP, as they might actually be able to tell you something. Grrrr.

I have a short fuse today though. I have full flow PMT for the last Droid pre-IVF. Am a bit mizz.

Right, that's me done. I was supposed to gym tonight but it's a bit late now, so I'm going to go home and sit on the sofa with a glass of wine instead.

The phrase I absolutely cannot bear, and can scarcely bring myself even to type, and which AMNH sometimes uses for the pleasure of seeing me try to burst my own ear drums is... (oh God I can't say it)... curling one out

Arghhhh! ARGHHHHH!

I had to check where Probus was on Google Maps to see if it was close enough to Newquay to visit when I'm on my holidays in September, or possibly on the drive there :) Sadly it's not. It's not even on the drive. Boo.

Rie, I have no problem with Rude Words. But there's no excuse for rod, shaft, or pole. Dick, cock, and penis are fine. (for a full explanation of just how much I don't have an issue with rudities, you should visit adult fiction and the TSA, we talk about cock all the time...)

Thankfully I have never heard that one Norf, nor do I know what it means.

It's either something to do with pooing or wanking, n'est-ce pas?

I want wine now.

BOAK at that phrase norf - nausea not envy

I want wine.

I was only joking about the rudities! Don't worry.....

PS is there a porn section?

It just means shitting, surely?

Rie, phew, thought you were going all psychobabble on me for a minute there!