Elderberry Pavlovas Unite - the over 30s TTC number 1 (thread 2)

[Bunnygirlie]

Ladies, Time for a new thread for us oldies (well not that old) TTC number 1 and our MN friends who have their BFP but are still coming along for the ride :-)

bunnygirlie, 32, TTC since June, AF due end Nov
Winkle, ttc 15 months, BFP due 19/11
Zombies, ttc 2 cycles, erratic cycle, PCOS. Next POAS not before 15 December.
Pipbin, ttc 15 cycles, BFP due 27/11
BraveLilBear TTC cycle 1 after early mc, BFP due 18/11

Aquarius, 32, ttc 8 mths, bfp due mid dec
Happylass TTC cycle 3 BFP due 8/12
Janey, 38, six weeks pg
Rach, 34, PG 7+5. Booking appointment on Wednesday.
Quod, 33, six weeks pg
HazleNutt 8 weeks pg

Sorry if I missed anyone :-)

I think if you choose a 3 letter one syllable name you are reasonably confident that you will escape abbreviation but apparently not! Says quite a lot about some of the the lazy people I work with!

A three letter name is much easier for them to learn to write too.
I have a four letter first name and did have an 11 letter surname. Took me years to learn to write my full name. I always said I would never marry a man with a name longer than five letters, and I didn't.

8dpo here. A little bit of very light brown cm, which is normal for me and not to get excited about.
one of the pregnant ladies I work with has had the most dreadful news and although I don't want to go into it, and drop the mood down here, it made me realise that a BFP is only half the battle.

Twinkle do you track your ov? Do you know how many DPO you are?

it's ok Pip, we all have had those stories happening to someone we know..and yes, BFP is just the beginning.

Pip I went from a 5 letter surname to 9 letters, which doesn't sound a lot but I feel like my signature takes forever now! It also makes me think that baby should have a shortish first name.

I would class anxious as my normal mental state these days and have forgotten what it's like to not worry. I think we all feel we are permanently on the edge of receiving the awful news your friend has had. Nature is certainly a bit of a bastard sometimes.

Pip I have been imagining all of those terrible possibilities for Monday's scan . And how horrible it would be to have that kind of thing happen over xmas.

I have had a shit day - I am miles behind on my PhD work, this morning my file corrupted which led to me crying on the sofa while DP rescued it, I nearly threw my printer out of the window, and the promising house viewings we schlepped around for were all crap. Oh and I think rushing around activates the MS as I have been gipping like a goodun.

Only redeeming feature of the day is H&M jeggings which I bought in a mad dash without trying on in the hell-house shop fit perfectly and are SOOOO comfy. £12.99 too. Halleblimminlujah.

Bit late to the party on this one but I we have one name for a boy 'Albert' after my lovely grandpa.
OH wasn't convinced initially and we had agreed on 'Fox' which I've now gone off. Grandpa died in August so it seems even more appropriate now. Love the thought of a chubby little toddler called Bertie... Baby may hate it but tough!
I did want 'Bear' as a second name but I guess that was pushing it with OH.

I kept my own name so baby will have double barrel surname. Might be too long with a middle name too.

The only girls name we can agree on is Ivy. I love the name Mable but OH not keen.

Strangely not even considered it could be a girl.

Oooooh just realised i'm actually looking ahead!

And yes, the expectation of bad news is constant and even more so due to time of year. Would have to face relations toddler on Xmas day and very pregnant who got preg first month of trying for the love of god friend on NYE....

Another blood test in morning. Fingers, legs, eyes, ears, toes all crossed!

Oh, any help on what to drink at parties? Picking out wine for party on Saturday night but no idea what to take for myself.

How about something like non-alcoholic ginger beer?

Bottle, try Appletizer, very chilled and drink it out of a wine glass, it tastes better that way
Was at a funeral today, not a great place to be with mutinous hormones. I was crying as much as the family

Oh and regarding names, my advice is DON'T TELL ANYONE!
We haven't made any decisions yet but stupidly when she asked, told Mum two VERY ordinary, popular, classic, boring, nothing to dislike about them names that we like and she's been so rude about them I very nearly throttled her. For the sake of your own sanity, I suggest you keep them to yourselves. Oh, apart from telling us Elderberries obviously as we NEED to know

I know what you mean about shortening names I'm an Amy and I get called aimz and aim....my mum specifically chose a name she didnt think could be shortened too bless her

We were thinking Savvy or possibly just V for short.

Alberts lovely

We have a party tomorrow, if I have a drink of fizz or something do u think it will affect my chance of conceiving? Im only 2dpo and know that booze cant hurt the potential bubba yet but thought id ask you knowledgeable ladies

considering how many kids are conceived after a fun night out, I would say it probably increases your chances

Cleo I am also in the 'drinking is fine until the thin blue line' club. The zygote is just floating around unattached to anything by that point so nothing you imbibe can affect it.

I am after a bit of advice: DP has a work trip to Singapore in Feb which we could turn into a last holiday before the baby with a short flight to somewhere else, poss Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Sri Lanka or Burma which are all places I'd love to see - I would be (fingers crossed) about 20 weeks. I've travelled/backpacked a lot but never in SE Asia - where would be good/safe to go when that pg and what precautions would I have to take? (Janey I imagine you can tell me about Thailand).

that may be my new mantra, has a noce ring to it

noce = nice.....damn phone lol

Ooh quod will come back to you (6am and trying to bloody sleep) but my bro used to live in Singapore so have been to lots and lots of places from there. Love SE Asia. Personal faces were Vietnam and Cambodia but given your knocked up status the latter could be a bit too harrowing. What do you fancy, culture? Beaches? Fab food?

Thanks Janey. You are the SE Asia expert i see! All of the above - food/culture/beaches. We wouldn't have longer than 10 days-2 weeks max. I'm not a huge fan of totally touristified places and would def want to experience local culture as far as possible with diffing.

Oooh I love Singapore! Would spend a few days there, just exploring the temples and museums. And eating.
Malaysia is also nice, I'd probably consider either that or Thailand - the trouble of course is that all more easily accessible pretty areas are touristic. How nervous are about the pregnancy, would you be ok going to some remote island, knowing that the nearest hospital is maybe hours away?

Am I too old to join at 41? Trying to conceive my first child after a mmc in March. Not a whiff of pregnancy since. I'll be honest - I left the over-40 thread because I was sick of hearing women in their mid-forties moaning about not being able to conceive their seventeenth child. The miscarriage rate over there is also frightful. So...will you have me?

Hi goldengirl welcome to the PMA club

I have a random question, if this is my month for a BFP, which I hope it is, then it woulf be early days! I'm only 4 pos 3 DPO but last night when cooking salmon which I usually love I was gagging, I didnt actually eat it in the end as I couldnt face it. I think this is far to early to be a peggo symptom, but am hopeful as always ......what do you lovely ladies think?

Just reading back a little of the thread and I can hugely empathise with those whose DP's are suffering 'anxiety issues' around ovulation. My DP finds it monstrously difficult to ejaculate around ovulation and, despite my drawing a veil over the OPK/charting regimes and trying to fudge the date of ovulation..he knows. He knows because I demand initiate sex far more frequently and start to cry if he can't finish the job. I do not apologise for the pressure he is under; he has a seven year-old son from a previous relationship and I will go and prostitute myself in a Mumbai slum if he doesn't get me pregnant soon.

He is as desperate as I am for us to have a baby but, with all due respect to my selfless and wonderful man, it is simply not good enough to abandon sex when the pressure is on. I literally feed him his Viagra. I tell him exactly when I need semen in me and he has to comply. There is no point pretending anymore that romance and relaxation has a place in our sex life around ovulation. It is actually quite liberating to be able to admit that this is now a job - a mission which DP simply has to accomplish. I don't think it's too much to ask our DP's to step up to the plate three or four times around ovulation and I refuse to feel guilty about his anxieties when I am 41 and going insane with childlessness. Thankfully we have a lovely respectful relationship where we can come together (not like that!) afterwards and lick each others wounds (not like that, either!) when things have gone awry.

The simple fact is that sperm is needed to make a baby - and lots of it. I don't buy this 'sperm can live up to five days nonsense' and I don't believe we should pussyfoot around our DP's either. A month is a fucking long time to wait for the next opportunity.

p.s sorry to hear about the mc goldengirl

Its hard when people already have what we want so badly....bubba number 1....but think they are in the same place as us. They already have someone calling them mummy, we dont we will soon though

Welcome goldengirl, of course TTC the first is very different, everything is new and unknown, so you should feel at home here. We've had many BFPs on this thread already!

Welcome goldengirl - I reckon you are in the right place here, we are all very friendly. I agree with you about the sperm/responsibility/why should they not have to deal with the pressure too thing. Sorry to hear about your mc too.

Hey goldengirl and welcome . Can completely understand why you left the other thread; I understand that the desire to have a second/thurs/fourth child must be almost overwhelming. However I just cannot believe it's as stressful or as powerful a desire as trying for your first; I think we'd all agree we'd rather have one than none. Sorry about your mmc too; a few of us have been there too

Hazle good point re Malaysia. Borneo is nice too, although I only went for four days, and was with my nephew who was two at the time, so we didn't get much chance to see that much of it.

Am on phone so can't remember (not baby brain, just old) if it was you mother, but re salmon I'm just not the person to ask as I haven't really had MS. However I had a weird aversion to some foods, the thought of which made me gag, and one of those was salmon (oddly just cooked - smoked was fine!) So who knows, but Fx it's a good sign!

Aw, thank you ladies for your welcoming posts. I will try to read back as much as possible to have a right good nosy get a picture of who you all are.

I admit to being a tad worried that you may all be a little high-brow for me, what with your travels to Borneo. The closest I ever came to Southeast Asia was watching Proboscis monkeys shag at Chester Zoo when I was eight