TTC 10+ months, Part 11

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Hi everyone. Well Bond was a bust as MrN managed to screw up booking the tickets. So came home and moped instead. And today he's gone off mountain biking so I'm on my own. Don't really need that so he's not in my best books. I am very low. I hear what you are all saying about 3 follies being enough but my problem really is they don't appear to be growing. Hence I'll end up with none. But I will keep going. In my heart though, I know I've been dealt the joker and I'm in that tiny minority who will never have their own baby .

I mentioned donor eggs to MrN last night, in an "i want to start giving this some thought" way, and he wasn't enthusiastic. That cheered me right up. Not.

On phone so won't name check other than to say hooray for heartbeat frannie I am so happy for you . And waves and loves and eternal thanks to everyone else. I will try to post on laptop later but going to a wedding so might not manage. Off to go and shovel shit now just to really cheer up my day . Will try to refrain from the mememe stuff.

Hug nelly see how things grow over the next few days, you really never do know.

Thank you Rabbit, you are so lovely as I know you are still fragile yourself. Hugs back. And you will be pleased to know shovelling shite has indeed improved my mood. It's given me time to process. For now we keep on. If this cycle is abandoned I will let my hair down on my honeymoon, try to get fat, keep shagging; then try another round on my own in the spring as some cycles are just better than others. We might go on donor egg wait list if MrN is happy. I'd look into natural as my body doesn't seem to like being told what to do; but I think the London logistics might defeat me.

So a plan, of sorts. In the meantime I've just shouted at my ovaries to wake them up a bit . I am officially loopy.

nelly glad shovelling shit helped clear the head a bit. I was 5mm at 5 days too, they are growing! Have a good time at the wedding. As the low IMB thing has come up again I'll add an observation, another lean one here but with a few extra lbs despite the loss of my wine calories in recent months. I don't have a sweet tooth but have taken a liking to dark choc with sea salt. I looked on the back of the packet last night 40g at 849 cal. Well, I guess together with not skipping meals because 'too busy' this is helping replace the wine calories.

nelly I just wanted to reiterate that after 5 days stimming everything was small and my oestrogen was low. In fact it stayed that way for about 15 days and the nurse looked surprised and worried (never a great combo) and I cried after the scan because I thought my body just wasn't responding. They increased the dose a tiny bit, and that's when everything started to grow and leap into action like crazy. I honestly can't believe that they are talking about cancelling the cycle at 5 days stimming without even trying to tweak the dose of FSH first. I just wanted to offer you a massive hand squeeze and say that you (and the doctor) need to give it more time. Obviously I'm not medically qualified but my experience was very similar to yours in terms of being a slow grower.

doll was going to say yesterday that your experience - and Ken's - sounded horrific and you are amazing, both of you, for going through it. Really, I take my hat off to you both - I think it's fantastic how you've managed. I hope you get some rest this weekend. I too love chocolate with sea salt (although rather unhelpfully, I like the fattier milky kind rather than the sophisticated dark).

Yay frannie - so glad that you heard a heartbeat, must be a huge relief. So pleased for you.

sar that story about your workplace beggars belief. I would love to be a fly on the wall when big boss gets hold of sneaky underling boss. Talk about stress that you don't need at the moment.

euro thanks for the kitty link, great fun.

cosmos thanks for saying I am chirpy I think the fact that my hormones are basically non-existent at the moment may have something to do with it!

gin hope you are ok - not long now.

Sorry not to namecheck more - racing off to a poetry coffee morning with a couple of the people I met on my little retreat earlier in the summer, and I am going to try to drive there. It's only about 20 minutes away, but embarrassingly, I am still a little anxious about driving in the States - nervous that I'm going to go on the wrong side of the road. I got an email from my boss yesterday saying that his boss thinks our office is overstaffed and that I should think about other ways to fund my job and/or ways to show I am earning my keep - awesome. If it weren't for the fact that my insurance covers IVF and the office gives good maternity leave, I would be hightailing it out of there. If I had known my job wasn't secure, I would have got a round of IVF in before Christmas. Oh well. I will finagle some way to cling on until the work insurance has paid for me to have a baby. And I was getting bored at work, so at least this is adding a frisson of drama!

critter I didn't know you could get a milk choc version, wow, more than 849 cal in 40g? This world is a crazy place. Thanks for your kind words about me and Ken and the no frills IVF. It's fine really, every bloody thing we have ever done has been ridiculous in some regard so this feels no different it's a bloody laugh compared to the adoption Shite regarding email from your boss, likely will come to nothing, but who needs it? And you are on a winner with the insurance so you'll have to keep it up! I too am bored with the work I'm starting, or trying to start and am having a bad attitude towards my employer bout a different issue which is affecting my ability to focus. Grrr.

euro Korea you say, mmm I like it. north or south?

nelly as another drip feed addition re simming and the drugs, just to say my drugs were not even tweaked and I got there. I don't get the impression my Dr is into tweaking, one size fits all. Not saying that's the way to go just that I still got there.

Critter I am resting today, I'm surprised that I'm still very sore. I wonder how the 4 little hostages are doing, there in the dark, not so much as a ransom note.....

yay to kitty porn, they are sleeping now, I spend alot of time on youtube looking laughing at other peoples cats my fav is the two cats on the treadmill

yes he knew I liked the name it was the one we had talked about for our kids, its Daniel by the way, I've liked it for years and is the boys name I always come back to. Ha thanks frannie I imagine he felt he couldn't mention it to the new insecure mrs without suffering alot of grief and congrats on your scan :)

nelly I don't see why they can't up your dose, its not ideal but if it helps and saves the cycle then they should do it, like I said before they could give you progynova to help with the oestrogen. I think it was the 4th cycle of SO before they got the stimms right so they have to be willing to change things for you, it is still early in the cycle for you, I have now come round to the idea of DE, I think it was after talking to rabbit when she said that at least you have carried the baby so it would be apart of you. The baby might have only Barrys DNA but if I have carried it then I have bonded with the baby from the start, although here in the UK a child can look up its donor and the waiting list is longer, overseas there is little record of the donor and the waiting list is about 5-6 months. Anyway that is for consideration in the future, right now you need to concentrate on this cycle, my fingers are crossed for you on Monay, big hugs x

critter thats great that you have to now justify why you should have a job isn't funding your job their concern?? enjoy your poetry meet up

euro you are becoming a right jet setter, must get exhausting at times though

x posts with doll at your 4 hostages, can I ask did you adopt in Europe or when you were in Africa??

The kitty porn was cute!

Critter and Doll thank you for reminding me of your progress at this stage. And Buzzy I will ask about the progynova (sp?) and see what they say. Doll I'm glad you got there without a change in drugs. And was it frannie earlier with the success story after weeks of stimming? I like that one too .

It is hailstoning here. I have to put on a dress and go out. Eugh. Or Wigh as iPhone wanted to say .

Forgot to say Korea sounds intriguing Euro. I'm hoping South. I think? My knowledge of Asian politics is ropey to say the least.

Buzzy I am defo coming round to DE too. Mr N asked how I'd feel if the baby looked like him but obviously not me. I said I'd be fine with that because for me the baby would be like someone I already love. Plus carrying the baby and giving birth would be quite a bond. But I wondered almost if it would be harder for him? Esp I think if its a girl? But I can only imagine the love is unconditional. Doll can maybe share from an adoptive perspective? Grr sorry phone posts always sound curt and illiterate. I'm not at DE stage yet, but I'm concluding there could be way worse things in the world for us to deal with.

buzzy and nelly this thread is interesting donor eggs or adoption?
buzzy as far as I understand adoption is divided into three types (1) domestic (2) international (3) in-country. We are not able to do domestic and did a rather complex version of international, we intend to try for an in-country next.
nelly I'm pretty sure it's South Korea

Awww, love the kittycam, they're sleeping now but look so cute. Korea souns interesting euro. Have you been before? My one and only interesting fact is that they have the highest percentage of women who've had plastic Surgery there. Very useful to know.

Nelly, I still think a lot can change day to day when you're stimming. Try not to lose hope.

Buzzy, grr to your favourite name being pinched.

Doll, I'm thinking of the Beirut 4. When will you get an update on their situation?

The friend who commented on my weight used to be very slim but has put on weight in the last year. So, I suspect she said it to me to make herself feel better. I have always found that people will comment on weight to slim women in a way they wouldn't to overweight people. I'm more upset that she's ttc, 3 months and already getting worried. I just know she'll be pregnant soon like everyone else manages. This one will fall into the unfair category for me. She's a few years younger, not in a secure job, her dh is a mummys boy who still acts like he's a teen, they live in a tiny flat. All very judgy of me but I think it should be me before her. She is quite immature. I've turned into a barren, nasty person. Oh, I hate what ttc has done to me.

Evening all. No way I will remember even a quarter of the things that I wanted to say. There's been so much going on!

nelly do have faith. You've had so much good advice from everyone with experience of this torturous process. We shall all cross fingers and toes and see what happens next week xx

mrsden go easy on yourself about the and feelings. I get them all the time. I really don't think it's representative of the type of person I am in the rest of my life and I am confident that it will all pass when this phase of my life is over.

Going back to the discussion about telling friends, I think that it's easier for me to tell people because the "problem" is with me. Emergency surgery also meant that people knew something was wrong (although colleagues thst i only see in passing were left to believe that it was just appendicitis) and they understand why we might be having problems. I think that I would find it harder to tell people if it was mr mad that had the problem - almost like I was outing him. He's a much more private person than I am.

As for BMI I don't know what mine is but I definitely have a sufficient layer of fat. About 5'5" and a size 10 which I'm pretty happy with at the moment. Recovering from my lap over christmas (so def not pregnant) means I will no doubt gain lots of wine and cheese calories!!!!

I'll be keeping all the ivf'ers in my thoughts and lots of hugs to those of you who have been feeling low.

Hope you all have happy and restful Sundays.

Hi all, following on from all the recent discussions about weight, bmi, diet etc I thought I would type a bit about what I've been reading today just in case it's of interest to anyone else.

So have any of you read into or heard of the 'Eat right for your type' plan / diet which sets out a different way of eating / exercising based on your blood type? I actually bought this book a year ago but never got very far with it. After I've been feeling so much better since stopping the gluten I thought I'd have another look at what it said for my blood type. So the theory behind this is that based on our blood type we can determine what type of biological system we have / what our ancestry predicts would suit our system best. I'm type O which is the most common - the book calls type O's the 'Hunter' and says this type retains the memory of ancient hunter-gatherer days and subsequently it does better on high protein diet and intense physical exercise that most closely resembles what would have been done /eaten historically for survival. It specifically says that wheat gluten is not tolerated by this digestive type, as this wouldn't have been available and this type has not adapted, and eating it will interfere with metabolic rate and cause weight gain. The book also says type O's are prone to an over active immune system. Anyway it all reads very true to what I've been finding out about my system over the past year. Of course the book says that adherence to the right plan for your blood type can cure a whole host of conditions including infertility. Hmm, well it's certainly an interesting theory. I personally find it comforting to think there are things like this we can do to help things along a bit and its not all in the hands of the doctors, so hope that some of you find this likewise. It says blood type A is the Cultivator, has farming ancestry and does best on a vegetarian diet. Type B is The Nomad with most flexible dietary choices and responds best to stress with creativity. Type AB is a more modern type and has a very sensitive digestive tract. There's whole lists of foods and activities that are beneficial, neutral or are to be avoided for each type, along with more of the science part which I obviously skipped to go straight to the plan! Must be the hunter in me!

Anyway, happy weekends all. Nelly, Art, Gin and Doll thinking of you all. It's a brave thing you're all doing.

doll thanks for the link, I have just spoken to Barry about it and made him cry not the best way to commence shag week, anyway he said he thought there were more risks with DE and the body rejecting it, I said my body is already rejecting my own so it can't be any worse, he is also open to adoption now so something to think about, although I think I would be keen on overseas adoption but that is something to think about in the future, I personally feel quite calm about it all even slightly excited, I believe that I will get a baby somehow, and I don't really care how anymore, obviously I'm not going to steal one

mrsd I know what you mean about it should be you before her, I feel I have waited long enough and it must be my turn now, its totally natural to feel like that, still they might have problems..........

on the weight thing, I'm a fatty( size 16/18) and I can assure people do comment on it!!!, I don't mind thin people saying things but get peeved when other fatties have a pop. One woman went on about the size of my arse, I said rather sarcastically 'well at least one of us is worried about it' Create are the only people who suggested I lose some weight re TTC, Dr doom and gloom was surprised by my BMI and kept checking it then said well if you could get that down abit........... I'll start on Monday

oooh the kittycam is soooo cute

x posts with mad and cosmos

mad i know what you mean about being you and not him, although I think for us its a bit of both but I feel I have to protect him from it all which is a bit silly, but I feel I am the stronger one to deal with it all now. Cheese is my weakness I just love the stuff :)

cosmos any advice for an A+ Vege would be appreciated

Buzzy it says for sensitive type A's it's particularly important to get foods in as natural a state as possible; fresh, pure and organic. Type A's will not tolerate well overly processed and refined foods. Eating meat will make type A's feel sluggish and less energised and cause fluid retention. Type A's have low acid content to their stomachs. Dairy is also tolerated not very well, as type A's create blood antibodies to the primary sugar in whole milk. soya cheese and soya milk are good. wheat is ok but not too much. Foods that encourage weight loss in type A's are vegetable oils, soya foods, vegetables and pineapple. Chicken, turkey and seafood are fine. Cereals and whole grains are good. Regards stress it says type a does not respond well to continuous confrontation and their immune system gets warn down. They need exercises that provide calm and stillness like yoga or moderate walking / swimming.

What do you think, sound like you or not?

well I like my dairy, especially my cheese, I could try soya milk, I don't cope well with stress and do have immune issues and yoga, walking and swimming are what I enjoy so it should work for me, its not so much what I eat but the amount

www.health-insight.co.uk/infertility.asp

See first Q and A.

The kitties have woken up. I can see this could be a very addictive site. Where are they? They're not being exploited like the Truman show for our entertainment are they?

The blood type stuff is so interesting. I read something a while back about a link between o blood type and infertility. I'm not o so I wasn't too interested at the time. Might be worth a google for those of you with o and unexplained.

Buzzy, what a cow who said about your bum. I would never comment on someone elses weight, so nasty.

I've just seen via fb that a few friends have organised a mum's night out next month. Of course I haven't been invited because I'm out of that clique. I'm thinking I need to reavluate a lot of old friendships, now they've moved on and live in different worlds.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/type-o-blood-may-be-fertility-barrier-2115641.html

mrsd at the kitties being exploited, the mum is gorgeous, I'm not bothered by my weight, I think its funny that she was

do you really want to listen to a bunch of women talking about their sprogs??? You still have your own identity

No way would I want to go on that night out. They've all had babies within the last 6 months. The conversation will be dull, dull and baby centred. But it's highlighted that I'm not in the in clique if you know what I mean. I don't want to be, but it's made me realise that I'm going to drift away from people I'd previously considered good friends.

Buzzy, you do right not to be bothered by your weight. It's always boring when someone frets over it, especially when they project their issues onto another person, like I think my friend did yesterday.

your friend is responsible for the size of her own arse and should try and make you feel bad because of it, you might feel you are drifting away from some close friends but I believe people come in and out of your life at different times for different reasons, just think in the future you'll have new friends who have more in common with you

Oh yea buzzy, that makes sense. I spent some time last week with a friend who is single (so no baby or pregnancy talk) and I realised how much more relaxed I felt around her. It's these sorts of friendships I'm going to consciously invest more in.

they are the ones that are worth the effort