Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

[goldengirl71]

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

[littlepinkfizz]

Oh how fantastic jbrd Wonderful wonderful and just the best news!

Poor ,poor you sparkly. Have no idea how you must be feeling. I suffer from depression intermittently and once on my meds, I feel great again. Maybe tentatively suggest gp visit to DH. It's so hard for you. Xxx

[Diege]

Oh Jbrd that is such wonderful news, you must be over the moon!

[hopefulgum]

Oh wow,Jbrd,that is amazing and wonderful news. I wonder how that happened - why did they say there was an empty sack? I am so,so pleased for you. How lovely to have a Christmas miracle.

I have just had a cup of tea with a friend who has revealed that her period is three weeks late,she feels nauseous and has a metallic taste in her mouth unfortunately she is having a really shit time in her marriage. Her DH (not so Darling) has been giving her a really awful time, leaving her,coming back,promising to make changes,but not doing it. It seems that whilst they were separated,she had a dalliance with a lover (who I think is a much better match for her, but she's tried really hard to save her marriage for the sake of her three children) and she may now be pregnant (her DH has had a vasectomy). Poor thing.She hasn't tested because she is in denial and doesn't know what she'll do. To add to the issue - she's been really clucky for another baby for ages, but had decided it wasn't going to work as DH has been so all over the place. I can't help feeling really worried for her, but SOOO wish it was me with the nausea and period three weeks late...

Well, in a first for Gum, I have NO opks left,so can't test to see if I'm having a surge.Of course the monitor says it is peak day, so that's ok. I am just amazed that I don't have any left. I do however,have about 50 pregnancy tests. So I can't give up TTC until I've used them up I did manage to have SWI this morning, and plan to try again tonight or perhaps in the morning(don't think I'll manage both with DH).

I offered a test to my friend,but she wouldn't take one. I don't think she's ready to face what might be a very tough decision...However, I think it may force her hand and hopefully they will separate for good. She really has had a bad run with him.

Ooh, perhaps the fact that I don't have any opk's left, but do have preg tests mean I just won't need the opks anymore...

[Isabeller]

Wow wow wow JBrd 3 cheers for eggshell walking

I just wanted to say Italian that I am so happy to hear about your progress with the adoption mountain climb (just my opinion on the multiple hurdle process) you come across as such a lovely kind person that I feel very hopeful for the DC or DCs you will one day welcome into your arms.

[mamaslatts]

JBrd - amazing news!

Gum - let's hope 2013 is a lucky year!

[Irishmammybread]

Fantastics news JBrd ,it must have been a lovely surprise, just before Christmas too!

Italian how long will it be before you know if you will get approval to adopt?
It seems a shame the process takes so long when there are children looking for homes and parents ready to love them. I would love to adopt, I just feel there's room for another little one in our family, wherever they come from, but DH isn't keen on the idea.

Gum ,I can't imagine being 3 weeks late and not testing but I can see your friend is in a tricky situation.
Let's hope you don't have to order any more opk tests!

How are you doing sparkly ?

[Irishmammybread]

Btw, has anyone seen the "Is 40 too old " thread that someone started, one reply is from a lady aged 47 who is 33 wks pregnant with her eight child!!

[hopefulgum]

Oh wow,Irish, that is great, I don't feel so old. I'll head over and read that thread soon. I am supposed to be looking for recipes for tonight's dinner. Feeling a bit uninspired, a bit tired of always thinking about what to feed the family..ho hum.

My friend just texted me that the test was negative. I am surprised, I was sure she'd have a positive. I guess all the stress she's been under has taken its toll.I hope she can get things sorted out soon.

I am pleased to report that DH and I managed to have SWI again last night. So twice on Peak day. I could feel ovulation pain right afterwards, so I am hoping there were many healthy sperm in place to meet the lovely healthy egg I've been cultivating.

Off to read that thread...

[littlepinkfizz]

Oh how egg citing gum!!

I suppose it is good news for your poor friend. As you say it was probably all the stress worrying that made her late. I really feel for her.

Must read that thread irish.

Have been so proud of myself this Xmas as made and iced myself a beautiful , if not intoxicating Xmas cake, 2 similarly intoxicating Xmas puds and even more potent mince pies. What with all the brandy cream to help the pudding and mince pies down, I have been barely sober since Xmas day!

[DoctorWhoFan]

Might want to avoid that thread. Someone on there had been having a bitch about us over 40s. I had to wade in a bit cos I got a little bit cross about it. The original post has been deleted now which I'm glad about.

Sparkly I hope you and your DP are ok.

JBird - great news!

Well done Gum - I'm impresed. Fingers crossed for you.

Sorry if I've not name checked anyone else but I'm doing this on my android and I'm surprised it's not riddled with typos! LOL!

[viviennewestwould]

DrWhoFan, I will repeat on here what I said over there and that is that I find it bizarre and depressing that women in their mid-forties are putting their 'need' for another baby before their marriages and their husbands' sanity when these men clearly do not want another baby. I do not see it as empowering or healthy for women to be ignoring their partner's wishes in the race to have that last baby. It is one thing to not be using condoms - it is quite another to be considering powerful drugs and having miscarriages without the man's knowledge.

[littlepinkfizz]

vivien stay off the thread unless you have something supportive to offer.

That's what this thread is about. If we wish ,for whatever reason to have a baby in our 40's, then what business is that of yours.

By all means stay on if you wish to be supportive,otherwise there is no dou t another thread which will suit you better.

[sparklysapphire]

Wow JBrd, that's fantastic, hope your pregnancy is uneventful from now on! Tina, hope everything is ok, despite the spotting scare. Good luck for this month gum. Do keep us posted on your adoption journey italian.
Thank you for all the support, it means a lot, especially as I don't feel ready to talk to my RL friends yet. Gum when I miscarried, DH was relieved, if not actually pleased, so I know how that feels. He did have counselling when I was pregnant with DD, he went to the doctors about something unrelated, & Dr picked up on the depression & referred him. I don't know if it helped though. I spent the whole 8 months scared he'd leave me, even tho he said he wouldn't, neither of us knew if he'd accept her & now I feel the same. He's barely speaking to me, won't initiate any physical contact, & doesn't seem to even want to be in the same room. I don't think he'll come round. I've told him I'm not prepared to terminate a healthy pregnancy, should it turn out to be one, how could I live with that? But at the moment, I feel like I have to choose the baby or DH, though he hasn't said that. I don't want DD to lose her dad. I know I maybe worrying unecessarily as it's very early days. I think I'll try &.persuade him to come to the Drs with me when I go, but that'll have to be next week when MIL has gone, & DD is back at school. Meanwhile tryin to wlrk out how to toast new year without alcohol without MIL noticing. xx

[Diege]

Sorry things are so tough sparkly. I think the only thing you can really do for now is to sit it out, try to keep as calm as you can, and see if things will change when dd is back at school and life gets back into a more regular routine. Taking dh with you to see the GP sounds sensible. I do feel for you with this added worry, alongside the usual niggles and worries of early pregnancy xxx
Gum that is bizarre about your friend - is she relieved but also a teeny bit sad? I suppose it would have been a 'way in' to leaving her dh (if that's what she wanted) but in the short term at least I suppose it solves one problem. Good timing for you this month, have everything crossed xxx

Vivienne (aka Golden, missbone..) I thought you had apologised for airing your opinions on this thread/via another thread and agreed they were inappropriate considering the nature of this thread? Agree with pink and drwho that it's probably not the thread for you...you do seem strangely drawn to us though, despite all our foibles, weaknesses and misunderstandings about ttc-ing

Had friends over today which was nice - did a huge pot of veggie curry which went down well, and am thinking about what to do with the 5 selection boxes they brought over for the dcs...specifically dc5 who doesn't touch anything with choc (his choice, not mine I might add - he's no PLB (precious last born)) Should I eat perhaps? Or distribute to other dcs??
Hope everyone is ok - anyone else losing track of what day of the week it is?

[notsoold]

Viviene...sorry but totally disagree with you coming with this sort of agenda...you really do not need to participate in the thread as it is a support thread....

[notsoold]

Sparkly....dh suffered with depression throughout my first pregnancy....so I hold you hand and second diege ((hugs))
Little pink...you go girl!!!

Because we can't dtd with dh still quite poorly, I did my nails and now giving ds a facial as he needs it!!!
Good Sunday to all!!!

[viviennewestwould]

Diege, I came on here as DrWho specifically invited me to air my feelings on here as opposed to 'bitching' on another thread which asked 'Am I Too Old at 40?' On that thread I gave my opinion that, whilst ttc in our forties is to be applauded, I am more and more disturbed by the lengths some women will go to to ignore the true wishes of their husbands and families. Where are the mens' feelings in all of this?? On this note, it is becoming increasingly depressing to read some of the posts on here (which is why I left the thread in the first place). Of course I pop back very occasionally to see if there is any great news and I am happy for those ladies and have private messaged them accorrdingly. I am much more comfortable on the thread for women over 30 trying for their first child as I cannot find empathy for those trying for their fourth/fifth/sixth child and hurting their spouse in the process.

[greenlizard]

Ach there is no need to respond to or acknowledge such attention seeking intentionally provocative posts. Quite irritating but will surely go away when ignored. I joined this thread because it is so supportive ? something that I was not confident in finding in the real world due to my circumstances and lets be frank who else am I going to discuss my CM with!? You have all been brilliant so I thank you ladies for your brand of support ? funny, warm, wise and non-judgemental.

I have yet to get my this cycle I am now on CD13 and I usually O CD12 but for some reason I felt like I O?d earlier than usual. That said maybe I did as my temps are all over the place and FF seems to think that I may have ovulated on day 10 as my temps shot up on day 11 but my CM didn?t reflect that (as far as I can tell anyway!) Without knowing where I am in my cycle it?s been all hands to the pump (so to speak)?.so far DTD on CD7,9 x2, 10, 11, 12,13?I confess to being knackered - DP approach is lets go for volume ? it?s so romantic I decided that obviously what was missing from my life was the need to add checking my cervix as an additional fertility sign as advised by FF ? don?t know about anyone else but I couldn't even find it never mind give it marks out of ten for its position and feel. Does anyone else do this? Should I persevere and get rummaging? I find myself thinking of all those years I spent trying not to get pregnant?..

Jbrd ? how thrilling is your news that you little one has just been hiding out all along?.congratulations!! I am sure you will still be a wee bit nervous but take care and fingers and toes cross for you.

Hopeful ? may you never have to buy an OPK again....

Roll on 2013 and all the healthy happy babies I hope it will bring....

Happy New Year to you all.
xxx

[Diege]

You're right of course greenlizard - it's like picking a scab I have to say I'm mightily impressed with your dtd count - wow!!! As for cervix-checking, the only time I did this was the month when I was pregnant, and I couldn't find it - which is sort of what does happen I think if you're upduffed...I think it's supposed to stay high? I think it drops lower when you're ovulating? I'd say you've done all you can this month anyway, whatever the outcome!

[Irishmammybread]

Wow greenlizard what stamina, you go girl !
I've never tried checking my cervix, It's complicated enough temping, looking for ewcm and doing opks!
I normally ovulate d13/14 but last cycle even though I started with increased cm and felt like I was gearing up to ovulate at the right time the cm then reduced before increasing again a few days later ,my Duofertility monitor went on to confirm ovulation on d 16. I usually put the temps on fertility friend too(sad I know) and it was confused too, first saying I'd ovulated earlier and then changing it to d16 retrospectively.
You're right, it is ironic how many years are spent trying not to conceive and now I'm analyzing every fertility sign in the hopes of doing just that!

Diege I'm working my way through kid's selection boxes too, I say eat the chocolate! Diet starts in the New Year.

Gum sounds like your timing was excellent!

Littlepink I'm impressed by all that baking. I must admit my mum still sends me over a Christmas pudding from Ireland every year, it's a recipe her mum used to make. It is like a little taste of home for me when I have it.

Sparkly thinking of you.

[hopefulgum]

Looks like I missed all the fun whilst I was sleeping. I am glad I didn't see vivienne's post on the other thread, but I am sure it was all about me. I do not know why she is intent on attacking me with her "opinion", but she just can't seem to leave me alone. She's like a dog with a bone. I can't help feeling like I have to justify myself to her, but I won't. You are right, greenlizard, it isn't worth it.

However, it does make me feel a bit shy about posting my thoughts and feelings when she is ready to pounce on them and criticise what I am doing/saying. It feels like being bullied in the school yard.

I guess she is struggling with ttc and being childless. But that doesn't give her the right to judge my choices. It is nice of her to consider my DH's welfare, but as I have said before, he is fully aware that we are having unprotected sex,that although tiny, there is a chance of pregnancy.

Vivienne, I am sure you are still reading this thread, so I shall just say to you, I hope you get your bfp soon and can stop attacking those of us who are still ttc despite already having kids.

[hopefulgum]

Hello ladies,

Sparkly, I'm sorry this is so hard. It should be a happy time, I know, I do hope your DH can feel better about it soon. It must hurt that he won't discuss it or have any physical contact. Having MIL there can't help either. As for not drinking - I'd make the toast, take a sip and then quietly tip it into a pot plant or down the sink when she isn't looking. Then don't top up because you are feeling "tired,and champagne/wine makes me too sleepy"...

greenlizard - that was a stirling effort - wow, that is a lot of SWI!!I hope this means a BFP for you.

notsoold, sorry your DH is poorly. How close to Ovulation are you, will you have to time to sneak in some SWI?

Deige, I think that's right - the cervix stays high if you are pregnant. I think it is also fertile time when the cervix is high,soft and open. I think checking the cervical position is just another way to make yourself crazy !

Tina and Jbrd, I hope all is well. Please report soon.

Calibee - when are you having that scan? Come and tell us all about it.

I've a busy day today - having a few people and their kids over for NYE. So I'll be cleaning, cooking and organising all day. Hopefully will also find time for the beach and a swim. It's another hot day.

[JBrd]

Sparkly - so sorry to hear about your DH's problems and issues, at a time when he should be so happy with and for you! Has he got any (male) friends or relatives that he might be able to talk to, to get out what exactly is bothering him? I think we often forget how ttc/being pregnant affects the other halves - could it be that he is worried about you and projects it onto the pregnancy? I hope he will be able to get some help soon, and that you can be happy together!

greenlizard I have never checked my cervix, I always thought that this is the one thing I will give a miss when ttc, brrrrr Wouldn't even know what to look for in the first place

gum fingers crossed for you!

I'm still very wobbly, it's all a rollercoaster at the moment! After the brilliant news last week, I have found myself reining myself back from getting too excited and happy, how sad is that?!? But I'm so scared that it might go wrong after all... I'm still bleeding/spotting and cramping on and off (today was pretty bad again, but no red blood, so trying to stay calm).
They never found out why I was bleeding, and believe me, they looked very thoroughly . One theory is that I might have been carrying twins and lost one of them, but we will never know what exactly went on. All is good so far, according to the scan anyway.
However, they measured the foetus being 6 weeks at the time - 2 weeks behind what I should've been. I am very certain about my dates, so this worries me because I keep thinking that at the next scan they'll tell me it stopped growing altogether, and it'll turn into a mmc, but more so as now the midwives and hospital are going by that rather than my actual gestation. I have now received a letter inviting me for the dating scan at the beginning of Feb, when I really should be having it mid-January! Very cross about that - I worry about missing the window for nuchal fold measurements and the blood tests. I think I will have to fight my corner with the midwife on Wednesday, when I have my (re-booked) booking appointment. If they can't/won't being forward my dating scan, I will insist on getting another early scan. I really don't think it's accurate at all at this stage - if they went from seeing nothing to a 6-week stage within less than a week, how can they assume it'll now go by the book?!?

Planning to call my GP tomorrow, to see if they can write me a sick note... I really don't feel that I should be using up my annual leave for all of this, it's so draining, and I am exhausted. Hoping to see a sympathetic doctor. Might have to postpone our planned trip to IKEA (DH is delighted at the prospect of that), but I don't feel I want to go there anyway, if I'm still cramping and have a sore back.

Have a lovely NYE all of you, wishing you all a BFP in 2013!

[Italiangreyhound]

Irishmammybread thanks for asking, the whole process to get approved seems to usually take 9 months to a year and then the matching bit can take 9 months to a year. So I have heard of people taking years to get through it all but it looks like they are moving things faster now. If there is a delay in the system I would imagine it is because of lack of social workers, costs, lack of people to adopt etc etc and not just because they are going very slowly on purpose BUT maybe there is also a tiny element of giving people time to think it through. Certainy for us once we spoke to a social worker we could have strated a preparation course almost immediately, but I do know that in other areas of the country you have to have medicals etc first before prep course. So maybe the timings and all that stuff varies greatly wherever you are! Yawn, sorry to bore you all.

Isabeller what a lovely thing to say. Thank you. We have a DD (aged 8) so we will only be wanting to adopt one. We tired for a long time to get me up the duff but it did not work and now this feels right, but very much belive in this area, each to their own!

Hugs to Hopefulgum, Diege, Hippy and all.

PS Delige thta pot of veggie curry made me think of the Friday night Bistro! Make mine a Paella.

[TinaO99]

Italian so lovely to hear from you! Glad to hear all is going well with the adoption, please keep in touch and let us know how you're getting on!

gum and everyone else kind enough to ask all is well and my spotting stopped so I've put it down to the bad cough I had, I've tried not to do too much last week and feel so much better now (apart from pesky constipation sorry tmi)

Jbrd so happy that your baby is hanging on in there, fingers crossed for you that all will be well, take it easy and hope the spotting stops soon. Pregnancy sems to be one worry after the other, I'm just waiting for the time I start feeling the babies move because I know then i'll be fretting thery're not moving enough!!

Sparkly so sorry to hear your dh is feeling down about the baby, I'm sure he'll come around but it's not at all nice for you having to deal with it, it should be such a happy time

hope everyone has a peaceful New year, I'm not sure I'll be able to stay up to see in the New year as my new name seems to be rip van winkle but if I do I'll raise a glass (of fruit juice) to you all!