Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

[goldengirl71]

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

Hi all, I'm not watching Ferne cotton. I see enough youngsters with huge bumps during my day.

Nice to hear some encouragement from you Mia'sMum though!

I'm feeling a bit depressed to be honest that if I do get pregnant now it will most likely be a september baby so yet another whole year behind ds in school. I never wanted kids really close together, but not that far apart either.

Also feeling a bit pessimistic about ever getting pregnant at all. I don't feel any different than I did last year or the year before, so it seems so unfair that being 43 now could mean my chances are now so slim. I will give it another month or two at least before I move on completely.

So, can anyone give me a quick summary of what will happen with the cbfm? As far as I understand it I'm supposed to be turning it on every morning and it will show me the day counter and switch itself off immediately for a few days. Then around day 5 or something it will start telling me to pee on a stick, which I must do first wee of the day right? I just want to know what to expect because I have to be super subtle about it. DH finds the ttc technology the opposite of an aphrodisiac

I'm also wondering if I should invest in 'preseed' lubricant or similar?
Should I be using progesterone cream? Do you just buy it on amazon and rub it on anywhere?
And DHEA? Do you just get that online too? i'm not sure I can bring myself to add that to all the other supplements I'm on

Has anyone sent out a search party for Golden btw?

No test this a.m, Deige, still only 8 DPO.But, HUGE jump in temperature this morning! Fingers crossed it remains elevated for the next 37 or so weeksI might test tomorrow at 9 DPO, or wait til Monday morning,seeings I have the doctor's appointment then.

Irish - I love that comment from your daughter, how funny.Are you temping? That might help you work out if you have ovulated. I second what Deige said. It is possible that you may be yet to ovulate.

Deige, I am always saying that same thing to my DH - we are both employed in professional positions and have 100% job security. The problem is we just can't seem to get ahead.And although I can cope with being in debt all the time, DH is old-fashioned in that regard and wants to owe the bank nothing. I figure this is just the way it is in this day and age,and we just have to get on with it. No point in worrying until the bank decides to repossess the house, which is highly unlikely. I wish Christmas wasn't coming as I do get a bit nervous about spending too much. I think it might have to be a "lean" one this year.Unfortunately teenagers don't really go for plastic tat.They like presents that are expensive

Today I am planning to do some weeding in the garden, but I know it will start up my hayfever. I don't want to take anything (drugs) in case I am pregnant. I'll have a look online and see if there's anything that's safe to take. I do have one that is supposed to be okay, but it makes me drowsy and I'm already tired enough!

Miasmum, I can't believe you are 37 weeks.How marvelous.You'll soon have your little one in your arms. Please let us know when the baby arrives.

Have a lovely weekend folks!

P.S. Where is golden????

Oh gum, i was hoping you'd answer some of my questions below. ie. re preseed, progesterone cream and dhea [hopeful face]
Your symptom spotting is getting me excited btw.
Fingers crossed.

Temp rise sounds great Gum . I truly hope this is it for you - I'd say test tomorrow but actually if I were you I'd probably wait until the Monday - when I think I really am pregnant I tend to get scared to test
Yes, odd that Golden isn't about - bet she's banging her head on a wall with all this DHEA talk
Up to bed for me. Have watched half of series 2 of walking dead - it is soooo good - anyone else a fan?

remnant, I must have crossed post, because I didn't see see your post when I did mine.

Now, your questions:
"So, can anyone give me a quick summary of what will happen with the cbfm?" Have you already set it? From what I remember, you will set it on the first day of your period,and you need to set it in the morning so that when you wake up for testing days, it will be within a window of time. I can't remember exactly, it is in the booklet. On the first cycle, you'll be asked from early on,by the machine to put in a pee stick, so it can establish when you "normally" ovulate. Because the sticks are quite pricey, I have learnt my cycle and tricked the CBFM by not putting in a pee stick til closer to when I think I'll ovulate. I know exactly what you mean about it being the opposite of an aphrodisiac. I'm glad that I usually rise about two hours before my Dh, so I can get on with that sort of business with no interruptions!

"I'm also wondering if I should invest in 'preseed' lubricant or similar?"
If you feel you don't have enough EWCM, then it might be worth a try.I have used it on and off, I'm not sure that it really makes a lot of difference, but it can't do any harm.

"Should I be using progesterone cream? Do you just buy it on amazon and rub it on anywhere?"
This is a tricky one. I've heard such a lot of conflicting information about progesterone cream. The medical profession says it is close to useless, but I've read anecdotal evidence over and over again about how it helped. You can get one that is derived from wild yam, but I have heard it isn't great. The stuff I ended up buying, from the U.S is supposed to be good. But I have also read that Biovea is good and I think you can buy that in the UK.I can't get it in Australia. As for rubbing it on everywhere - you are supposed to only use it once you have ovulated, and rub it in on the softer tissue - such as breasts,buttocks,thighs,tummy,as it is better absorbed.

"And DHEA? Do you just get that online too?" I bought mine off ebay,again from the U.S because it is illegal without prescription in Australia.I don't know why, but it is. So I got some off ebay. I've since heard it's best to get the "7-keto" stuff, but that isn't what I have.

I know what you mean about taking a tonne of supplements. I do too.But I think, if it helps me get that take home baby I so badly want, then why ever not???

I can't believe how much I have learnt since ttc in my forties. With my 4 other pregnancies, I had no idea about any of this. I didn't read a single book on the subject, I ate and drank whatever I liked. I behaved no differently after ovulation. When I wanted to have a baby I had sex once or twice when I felt ovary twinges and had EWCM. Then in a couple of weeks I'd get a positive test. I never feared I would miscarry, never worried about chromosomal issues, just felt sick and tired and pleased I was having a baby.

Age is such a wicked nasty bitch when you want a baby

Fucking hell fire! I have had an interminably monstrous few days. Thank you, Womble, Remnant, Gum & Diege for wondering where I was. I woke up on Wednesday morning to no internet connection - ditto mobile phone. I rang the 3 network who informed me that 'work' was being done in my postcode area and that I would be without phone and internet for the next three days. I not-very-gently explained that, despite living out in the sticks, I did not expect to experience the level of inconvenience which might reasonably be expected if I lived in, say, the fucking Himalayas. So..facing three days of utter isolation I decided to make some work-related appointments in Manchester and hence Be Productive.

On the train to Manchester on Thursday morning I was sat in a carriage with a throng of drunken lunatics from Glasgow, one of whom recognised me from a SKYTV documentary I appeared in called Naked In Blackpool. Cue fifty minutes of jeering, cheering, probing, mock-masturbating and whistling. It was ghastly and hilarious in equal measure. By the time I alighted in Manchester I felt soiled. It gets worse. Walking along Deansgate I bumped into an old friend whose son I had sex with when I was thirty-seven. He was a month away from his seventeenth birthday and was still in braces (those cement train-track ones). Fucking disgusting, I know (when my friend found out she slapped me across the face and her husband shook my hand. She then slapped him across the face). When I bumped into her she said, 'still shagging sixteen year-old boys?' and looked at me with such contempt I felt physically crushed.

Then, yesterday morning, my CRB (Gum, this stands for Criminal Record Bureau) form finally arrived, which had been requested by the drug and alcohol addiction charity I am hoping to volunteer with. Upon reading it I was so starkly reminded of my horrible misdemeanours I started to cry: drink driving x 2; assault; drunken disorderly; theft; battery (52 days imprisonment suspended for 12 months); assaulting a police officer - the list was endless. It was as if, in the last forty-eight hours, I had been assaulted by the very worst excesses of my past; stuff which I have tried very hard to bury and atone for, but from which I will evidently never quite be unshackled. I despise the person I used to be: the ego-driven, narcissistic, self-indulgent, nymphomaniacal, devil-may-care twat who lived through her twenties and thirties without a care for anyone or the consequences of my actions. I must have carried such an air of entitlement it makes me feel nauseous just thinking about what I was like to be around.

I'm not usually prone to bouts of self-loathing but it's been a strange few days, particularly as I had no means of coming to you all with my wobbles. To top it all, DP has started smoking again. I had my suspicions during the week but he has flatly - and hotly - denied it. When he offered me a rather perfunctory peck on the lips last night after work I smelled smoke. After a 40 second grilling he admitted he is 'having the odd one'. Dear reader...I hit the fucking roof. I asked him why he thought he was so special that smoking cessation was simply too insurmountable a demand for him as a human being. Why, I asked, is it just impossible for him to give up? 'Because I don't want to', came the petulant reply. I said, 'well, I don't want to make your fucking tea every night when I would much rather be watching Emmerdale, but I fucking do it'. Then I said, 'tell you what...you carry on smoking your fucking selfish head off and I will find a man to fuck who doesn't have spasticated sperm with a 3% morphology. How does that suit you, dickhead?' He mumbled something about me doing what I like and skulked away to his bedroom and wasn't seen again until this morning.

So..last night, after the aforementioned brouhaha and in the pitch black darkness of the country lanes, I went in search of the nearest phone box to cry to my mum. Of course, she insisted I come to her house for the rest of the weekend and here I am....with internet access! Hurrah!! I am sorry for this long post and I know it's relatively silly stuff which shouldn't have impacted so greatly upon my confidence these last few days, but it has - and I have missed you all very much.

Still, that doesn't stop me from wanting to bang your heads together (those of you necking DHEA and other such 'egg improvement' nonsense). Naughty girls. And darling Gum, what the feck are you playing at getting so excited at 7DPO?? Can an embryo have even implanted and released such amounts of HCG that 'strange mouth tastes' could even be detected at that stage? Please calm down. Breathe. I am so very afraid for you if it's a BFN. I am not the voice of doom. I am the voice of reason although I am allowed to be excited for you

It's so nice to hear from Wylie, Womble etc and I do want to thank that lady who came on here to warn about DHEA (seeing as nobody else thanked her. Ingrates). Big shout out to those on the 2ww - I do not envy you. I'm on CD11 and it has been the longest fucking eleven days of my life (or so it has seemed). I am so bored of this TTC shit. I am bored of sex (I was twiddling my thumbs for something to do yesterday morning sans t'internet and briefly considered masturbating. I couldn't be arsed. I couldn't be arsed having an orgasm. What the absolute downright fuck?!)

I, too, have neon yellow/green wee, however, I had resigned myself to the possibility that it was some hitherto undetected gonorrhoea

I am missing DP dreadfully and I've only been at Mum's two hours. I am rueful that I said such horrible things to him last night - we normally speak to one another with such kindness and understanding - and I feel like I've lost my ally. I never, ever call him names or belittle him. I can't believe I called him a dickhead and berated his 'spasticated' sperm. What has become of me? Is it so heinous that he should be smoking again considering his long and stressful hours at work? Goodness knows we have both given up alot during our recovery and smoking is very dear to DP's heart - he loves it. His sperm isn't even considered to be a problem (the consultant said his results were 'fine'. I disagreed when armed with the percentages). Am I being unreasonable to punish him like this (running away to Mum's)? Am I simply demanding 'do as I do' because I was forced to give up smoking when I was pregnant? Am I just an imperious twat?

good to have you back golden
what a colourful life it is that you have led
did your OH start smoking again around the time of the revelations about his parents?

gum, for answering those questions

how to tell how much ewcm is enough? would it be obvious that I'd used some preseed? (to dh I mean)

golden - so glad you're back, we were all getting worried! You certainly have had a rough week, no harm in taking a bit of time out at your mum's. Clear the cobwebs and all.
I'm sure your DP will understand the outbreak, he must know how much stress you're under! Could it be a side effect of the clomid, I wonder? The short temper, not him starting to smoke again Hell, I want to have a go at my DH so often about his alcohol intake, I'm surely going to flip one day, too! It's so hard to keep it all bottled up, especially when you're under extra pressure. Hope you can regain your composure!

11 DPO for me, and the temp is falling falling falling Have ordered the cbfm and will make an appointment with the GP next week... Sigh.

Anyone been watching Children in Need. I sat down last night, and within 5 min they had me quietly sobbing into my dinner. Currently watching the Best Of..., and still have to fight back the tears.

Hi Jbrd, falling temp for me too. Bugger! Prhaps we'll both catch a good egg and sperm next month?

Golden, I know I'm silly for getting excited about those symptoms, but they are real to me.However I have since read on the net that the funny taste in the mouth can be a sign of estrogen imbalance and the impending menopause, which is much more likely.It just so happens to coincide with my 2ww. But I can't just right off any symptoms in the tww. I have been pregnant a few times,and I recognise how it feels. Many,many women have early symptoms, even before it is possible that implantation has taken place.

Having said that, I am now convinced this is not my month and I'm okay with that.I am grateful for the family I already have,and getting a bfp this month would cause chaos for our holiday next year,so I'm okay with that too. I'm counting down to giving up ttc, which in some ways is a relief, but sad all the same.

Sounds like you have had an awful time of it Golden. I would cut a bit of slack for your DP. It is bloody stressful, ttc, and yes, smoking isn't great for the swimmers, but he's doing everything else right isn't he?

I used to silently fume every time my DH had a glass of wine or the occasional choof of dope. But I realised that I couldn't make his life miserable so that we could have a baby, because that would make it too hard between us, and then how could we possibly have sex if we were resenting one another? What are you doing for yourself,to help ease the stress of all this? You need a pressure release so that you don't drive yourself or DP crazy.

Remnant - your DH might notice you are a bit "wetter"than usual, don't use as much as is suggested by the manufacturer.I was positively swimming in the stuff when I first used it. Now I use it sparingly,and DH doesn't notice. You could bring it out and give him a marvelous hand job to get things going.He doesn't have to know it is "sperm-friendly".

It is Sunday here,and I plan to get out into the garden again. I am glad I did yesterday,it helps clear my head (though fighting off the bloody biting march flies was hard work) and is good for me physically too. I have yoga class today too - I find it really helps relax and calm me,too.

Enjoy your weekend.

Hello everyone,

I've just been catching up. I just felt I needed a bit of a break, but reading the thread makes me realise how much I've missed everyone. Huge congratulations to tina on twins, what amazing news. I was touched that gum included me on her list a few days ago, which has inspired me to check in. golden, hope all is on the way to being resolved with your OH. Good luck to everyone on the 2ww, I'm approaching the end of mine, usual sore boobs - I get them every cycle and have concluded it means I'm not pregnant. It's almost exactly 6 months til my 45th birthday. Ho hum. A 40+ baby on the way - a friend of a friend at work is about 6 months pregnant with her first and will be 44 when he/she arrives .
love to everyone, hoping someone has exciting news soon. I shall be keeping up more often. xx

Morning! How nice to see you, Sparkly, I hope you stick around more. Please will you remind us of your ttc history? Thanks for asking about DP and thanks to you, too, Remnant, JBrd & Gum. I rang him last night and, Remnant, without my prompting him, DP confessed he indeed started smoking in the immediate aftermath of the news of his mother's death. He also went on to say that he has been utterly crushed by the knowledge that his father may not be his biological one and that the reason he has not felt able to open his heart to me is because we seem to be 'existing in parallel universes' at the moment. Without placing any blame at my feet he gently suggested that his work fatigue and familial issues and my obsession (my word) with ttc and mumsnet forums is pushing us into our own separate bubbles. I had to agree. When he comes home from work I am on the computer and barely lift my head until bed time. He strongly believes stress can affect ttc (I don't) and looks to those whose hair falls out overnight as proof

His point is that I need to relax and re-establish myself a little. He pointed out that I have been going to church less and less, the gym even less frequently and haven't touched my bike in weeks (Ceri, my friend from the gym, gave me her old bike because the one that old man gave us is shit). I have to say, without internet access, I have been hammering the gym with Ceri and have felt great. I think now that my CRB form has arrived I will be getting a call from the addiction charity to do some voluntary work. There has to be more to my life than ttc. There simply has to be.

JBrd, you wondered about Clomid side effects. I am reluctant to admit I have started to experience a few - and they certainly were not apparent during my first cycle on this drug. Each evening I have a few hot flushes/sweats and I am sitting on what appears to be a hitherto latent volcanic rage . It's funny, but last week on the Clomid thread, a lady parachuted in to disparage the drug, saying that she had experienced migraines, 'swelling' and a rash and that we should all 'look at this website' if we wanted to conceive naturally. The link was to some dumb-ass homeopathic site promising the earth (as per fucking usual) so I told her that her symptoms would appear to be the usual side effects of Clomid and that, even if I were bleeding from my eyeballs and shooting fire balls from my arse, I would carry on with this drug. I also told her that her website sounded like a pile of bullshit. One of the other ladies told her to fuck off as the thread was not a place for advertising and that she was reporting her post as spam. Mumsnet removed the offending post

Hey, Gum, I'm sorry if my gentle mocking of your symptom-spotting pissed on your bonfire. It's partly my crap humour and partly my desire to not see you distressed if AF arrives. I am sorry Don't you have an appointment with your GP on the 19th? Tomorrow?

Hi all - am nursing a hangover of all things, after one, yes ONE white wine spritzer . I won't be doing that again in a hurry...
Dh has just taken all but ds2 to his mums, so will wrap up and get walking with baby - probbaly just as far as Costa Coffee...
Good to see you back Golden - sounds like a turbulous few days to say the least. Not a bad thing though in the sense that you do sound refocused in a broader 'there's more to life' way.
Gum, might not the temp dip be a possible implantation dip? Days 8-9 for me (when I've been pregnant) have always involved a temp dip, once below the coverline. I guess you know a bit more now since you last posted, so best of luck x Oh meant to say too that I think it's Marilyn Glenville (?) who says some women do indeed get symtoms pre-implantation - not hcg related as such but to do with hormonal changes preceding implantation. Might be something in it? She's such a straight talking bod that I'm tempted to beleive!
I have had a temp rise of sorts, but neg opks, so not sure where I'm up to...will do the deed tonight again, and then call it quits I think! My bit are getting sore
Right off to reluctantly wake the sleeping baby who won;t settle tonight if he sleeps much longer - live by the routine die by the routine sort of thing.
Love to all x

Just wanted to say hello to gallwaygirl. Hope you're ok, my sweet. i think the more time that passes since your last BFP the easier it is to put it all behind you. It's over 2 years now for me and i fully expect to never see another BFP now. whilst that is still hard to accept I do think that i too am peri-menopausal (just had a 60 odd day cycle and this one is looking like it's gonna head the same way.) Anyway, take care, matey.

miasmum wow - 37 weeks. So very happy for you. try not to stress about all the tidying the house crap - just get yourself ready to meet Mia's little brother or sister :-)

Lastly, it really is non of my business but i just wanted to say to goldengirl, maybe you need to be a bit more careful about the things you put on this thread eg. CRB check stuff. remember that ANYONE can access this site and our posts can remain here, floating about in the air, for ever. i only say this because, whilst i know you are happy to share your past with your friends on here - you may not want strangers to know these things. Plus you have put a photo on your profile. Just somehting to think about - feel free to ignore me.

Hello to everyone else.

Morning all. Just a quick one from me.Nothing to report except a clearly negative BFN. I am only 10 DPO, but did the test "just in case" because I have a pap smear scheduled this afternoon. I shall also quiz the doc about clomid and progesterone.

I won't test again unless AF doesn't turn up. My boobs aren't very tender,but who knows. All the symptoms wax and wan - didn't feel much all day yesterday,but come 5pm, I had the yucky taste in my mouth and very heavy sore breasts. I am not getting my hopes up and will be happily surprised if I do turn out to be preggers. Next month will be better timing anyway.I've always wanted to have a baby in September (our spring).

Deige I can't believe you have a hang over after one drink,you sure you aren't pregnant???

Nice to hear from you Hippy.Sounds like you are very accepting of where you are at.

Must dash, tonnes to do.

Hi can I ask for some advice as the world of TTC in your forties seems a bit of a minefield?

Both myself and my partner are 43 and are quite fit and healthy. He has two children from a previous relationship. I do not have any children and have never been pregnant. I was married through my 20s but this was over by my early 30s and I spent much of my 30's single (well -ish but didn't meet anyone I wanted to be serious with) So I met my partner when I was 41 and thought I had accepted that I wouldn't have children..but I turned out to be wrong on that point! Luckily my partner wants to have a baby with me if we can (when we first met he was adamant that he didn't want to have any more children)

We have been TTC for about 3 months now and no luck so far (I have never had so much sex in all my life!) I thought I would go to the GPs and ask about what steps I could take to increase my chances as time is clearly not on my side...I don't even know if I can conceive. Happy to go private if necessary.

What should I ask for? What would you recommend? What have been your experiences? I have started using a OPK but would you recommend temperature charting too? Acupuncture? I don't want to be obsessed about it but I do want to give it a good go while I can.

Thanks in anticipation

Hi greenlizard. I think it wouldn't hurt to go to your GP and ask for some testing - FSH, AMH, Day 21 progesterone (should be called 7 days post ovulation, day 21 only makes sense if you ovulate on day 14 every time). All those tests might help give an idea of your fertility status, and if necessary get the ball rolling to see a fertility specialist.

Personally, I feel there's a good chance to have a baby at 43, but it doesn't hurt to know where you stand.

I think charting and taking your temperature everyday is a really good way to keep track of your cycle. It is amazing what information it can give you. From charting you can gain knowledge about when you are likely to ovulate, if you are in fact ovulating,how long your luteal phase is(time from ovulation to period)and when to expect your period. It really can help.A short luteal phase can be an obstruction to falling pregnant and can be remedied.

Fertility Friend is great - it will teach you all you need to know.

I personally love acupuncture and would recommend it. I do believe it makes a difference and I feel it has helped me conceive in my forties. Sadly, it hasn't stopped me from miscarrying, but I have had one healthy baby in my forties.I love that it helps me feel balanced and very relaxed.

Well folks, I've just come back from my GP appointment and I'm so glad she is my doctor(despite the fact it is really,really hard to see her - it is obvious why she is so popular and busy). She is so lovely. We had a good chat about everything, and she feels confident that I can get pregnant again as I have done so three times in the last two years. She was telling me about all the women who fall pregnant accidentally in their forties and get an awful shock because they thought they were past needing contraception. She had a woman in her care who was 48, one of her colleagues cared for a woman who got the shocking news at age 52! Both went on to have healthy babies. She said my DH isn't really right to think our chance of getting pregnant is 1% because of my track record, but she's happy for him to be deluded(I love her). We talked about progesterone and she's happy to prescribe it when I get a + ept. It is now in my notes, so it shouldn't be an issue if she isn't there. However, she doesn't want me to take clomid. She won't prescribe if I am ovulating on my own, which I am.She feels at my age it may decrease my chances rather than increase them as it will likely rid me of my eggs which are in low supply.She also feels it could cause hormonal imbalances that I don't want at my age. I respect her opinion and I am happy to go along with it for now.

I came away feeling happy and confident that I can get pregnant again. I want to take a relaxed approach, but it doesn't mean I'll not try, I just want to stay relaxed, not get crazy about it all.

When I got home I went to the toilet and noticed some spotting - I got all excited and thought"wow, this could be implantation spotting", but then I realised that I'd just had a pap smear so that's why! I don't usually get spotting from a pap smear, but I am SURE that is the cause.

Anyway, that's enough from me. My DS,the 4 year old,is freaking out because his sister wants his pencils. Roll on bedtime!

Hi Gum! What a lovely person your GP is, and how nice to feel so positive (for good reason) after leaving her office. How is your temp today? It must feel good to have a plan in place re: prog, and also be assured from an expert that clomid isn't right for you, rather than being left wondering...
Greenlizard, I would echo what Gum has just said re: temping. It really does give you (some) control over what's happening - might also help to read Toni Weschler's book 'Taking charge of your fertility' which puts temping etc in a broader context. I too think you stand an excellent chance anyway, but temping may help you to target the ttc-ing etc.
So dtd again last night, though temps low again today so don;t think I've had a thermal shift yet. Opks are getting darker (just done one now, though know I should really wait until after 3ish) but no way my bits can withstand any more action tonight . Will aim for tomorrow night and hope I don;t miss the boat so to speak. Or should I push for another sess' tonight?
Right, back to reality, have an incredibly dull report to write...

greenlizard - I'm in a very silimar situation to you, I'm 40 and DH is 43, both fit and healthy. We've been ttc no.2 since July, and no luck so far.
I've been temping for 3 months now, and together with the OPKs, I get a pretty good idea about what is going on in my cycles. I have just bought a cbfm, to really boost the watch (I'm a bit of a control freak, and it gives me strange pleasure to mull over graphs and charts - I reckon knowledge is power).

However, both DH and I have made appointments with the GP to get the ball rolling and make sure that there are no other undlerying reasons why it's taking us so long ttc. It took us 8 months with DS, and I have noticed that my cycles are definitively shorter than they used to be, so I thought better get it looked at. No idea what tests -if any- they will do, but we do have private insurance, and I'd be prepared to use it (if we can - with our luck, it'll be the one thing that's not covered!).

Diege - I feel your pain with the soreness, I managed to get a uti during our last round of perfectly-timed dtd. If nothing else, it's just exhausting! I'm almost dreading the next round

gum - your GP sounds lovely and supportive, I wish that mine will be like that! So nice to get a boost from an 'outsider'.

So af arrived yesterday , and even though I had been expecting it, it still hit me bad - even DH noticed. But it did cheer me up when he told me that he is seeing the GP today and will discuss ttc. I now wish I had made an appointment for myself sooner - the earliest I could get was Dec10, which will be CD23! It takes ages at my surgery to see someone - you can phone first thing in the morning and request a same-day appointment, but these are meant to be for urgent things, so I've not really dared to do that, for fear of stealing someone else's slot who really needs it. But I might try and see if I can get an earlier appt, maybe it's time to be a bit pushy... Time is not what I have in great abundance, esp if they need to do the testing on certain days in your cycle!

Greenlizard, hello and welcome. I am going to stick my neck out here and suggest that, at 43, you do not have an 'excellent chance' of having a baby naturally. There are two women I know of on this thread who have managed to conceive and have a baby over the age of 43 - Jollster was 44 and Lolfactor, 46. I don't believe anybody else on here has managed it. I am as desperate as anyone to have my first baby (I am 41) but am more inclined to look at the evidence of this thread. The statistics (whether you like them or not) state that you have a 1% chance of conceiving each cycle if you are 43. We try to ignore the statistics on here - for obvious reasons - but when new people approach us asking for knowledge and advice I don't think it's fair to pull a veil over the statistics.

Of course, every woman is different, and you do indeed have a chance of getting pregnant. However, what I would say is that you may have to wait a very long time to conceive and the miscarriage rates are awful - really awful. Try to read back over the thread, if you have time, to see what people's true experiences have been, rather than simply listening to anecdotal evidence that your chances at 43 are 'excellent'. They are not. The evidence that women are having babies naturally over 43 simply is not evident on this thread except for the two aforementioned. If I were 43 and could afford it, I wouldn't waste any tme in going for IVF. I can't apologise if I've dampened your enthusiasm here - I'm being honest and, I believe, realistic. What you will find here is endless support and enthusiasm for this often tedious and disappointing journey. I wish you tons of luck

Gum, what does your doctor mean by Clomid 'ridding' you of your eggs?

Diege, what CD are you on and what's the state of your cervical mucus? Any change indicating ov is imminent? More bed-rocking for you, I'm afraid - poor fanjo

JBrd, sorry about AF but yay! about your DP's decision to get the ball rolling. How's your shitty job, love? You haven't mentioned it in a while - are you simply suffering in silence?

Hippy, thank you for your concern and advice. You are right, of course, about our vulnerability on here, I am just not bothered. Because of my past I am virtually unemployable anyway and the general opinions of strangers do not concern me whatsoever. But I do thank you

I am off for my scan tomorrow. So exciting! Linda is so lovely and I can't wait to cry/bombard her with a hundred more questons. I feel oddly excitable that this is my month (stupid, stupid, stupid girl). My pre-ov temps are preternaturally high and I am in constant watery mode, fanjo-wise. Surely this indicates fabulous follicular action? I am dying to see three follicles tomorrow...

JBrd, steal someone else's spot at your GP surgery - you're desperate for a baby, right?

First of all, Gum, very sorry about your bfn. Your gp must be right.The 1% can't apply to everyone. That's just the average. I'm really hoping to see you with a bfp.

JBrd, I agree. Get your appointment tomorrow and insist on getting in the queue for the blood tests if tomorrow is your day 3. If not you'll be living in limbo for another month. That's good enough reason as any for an immediate appointment.

GreenLizard, good to hear from you. I second the advice to get straight to a doctor. Every month can make a difference at our age it seems. If you think you might go down the IVF route might make sense to go straight there. Where are you based? You might be able to get good recommendations of clinics here. I'm 43 and trying for #2. DH would not be willing to do IVF, he would only just be able to live with a miracle natural conception so that's my only hope. I accept that the odds aren't great, but it's important to me to give it my best, so I'm tracking cycles, taking loads of supplements to improve cervical fluid, and to lengthen a cycle etc. Keeping my fingers crossed.

If I were in your position and had never conceived before I'd go and get myself every test available for hormone levels, tube functioning or whatever they have. If you need IVF or eggs then the sooner you start the better I'd guess.

GG I've said before that I admire you for not feeling like you need to hide anything. I think though Hippy may have had more reasons for advising caution. Not just potential employers but your future children and their friends, their friends' parents and teachers can all read mumsnet. I am of course quite shy and paranoid and I am not recommending that you bring up your children to hide the truth of their background. I speak from experience unfortunately.