Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

[RainboxFX]

A shiny new thread in memory of our angels. To bring us all BFPs, sticky beans and healthy happy Rainbows.

Rainbox congrats & pleased all is well xxxx
Kleine hope u re ok? Xx
Miasmum love to Finn .sounds delightful.. Xxx
Green take care & hope you find some peace xx
babyH hi.... I so hope you have your rainbow soon too xxx
Fan well done on the positivity. I missed a couple of weigh ins over Xmas due to work & have put 4 lbs back on but quite happy with that as that's over 3 weeks of eating crap!!! Xx
Blizy yeh for AF!!! Love to u xxx
Blue hope u re girls are well? Xxx
Elly hi ... How many weeks are u now? Xx
Spilt hi xx
Hi to anyone I ve missed here... Been a bit stressy here. Phebs ;2nd day back at nursery had to collect her as " explosive diarrhoea" 1 episode !!! Had a bit of a to -do with them then she had to be off the day after... Ant & I down to 2/3 days AL left to April each with no one else to care for Phebs... Nightmare.... Keep being quoted " everything's the policy!!!"
I m arranging to visit some other nurseries & re view other options... Seeing the nusery deputy manager next week... ( their policy is 3 poos then they ve to be off for 2 days!!) she's not had norovirus or an infection just loose!!! Actually blizty I'd be interested in your take on this...
So, Monday all back at work Ant rings me ; he's been made redundant ... From immediate effect... So , he's busy trawling agencies again & applying for jobs. He will be paid at the end of Jan then that's it.. We re officially up the creek without a paddle.
It's always jan & just as we re about to book a holiday.... If he can t get temp work ( which he always has before he ll ve a stay a home dad & we re be taking Phebs out of nursey as my wage won t cover bills, debts , mortgage, petrol, food & childcare. ) will just about cover everything bar; childcare fees but only leave us £100 a month for clothes, socialising , holidays & any niceties...
So ; here we go again only a year since this happened... It's shitty but not life or death. & we ll survive. I m off the opinion now nothing will ever be as bad as loosing Georgie & if push comes to shove and we can t pay our mortgage so be it... We ll sort something out then....
Had a day off today & did something I ve never done before; went to the cinema on my own...!!!! Saw Quartet v good. I was the youngest in the flicks & lots of people there on their own... Then collected Phens early from nusery. She's talking away & nearly walking ; an absolute delight...
So all in all the loss of a job is summountable one way or another..
Love to all xxxx lets hope 2013 improves!!! Xxxx

Oh angel, what a nightmare - I really hope Ant manages to pick up some agency work or even better, a permanent position really quickly.

I am 23 weeks today, so just 1 more week and the pg is 'viable' - that's my next milestone. Have got a 3rd attempt at my anomaly scan on Friday - baby has been too comfortable, lying in an awkward position so they can't check the skin covering on the bottom of the spine. The sonographer said she was 99% sure that there weren't any problems, it's not uncommon but really unfortunate that it has happened with my history. I think the baby has moved position now (spent the weekend on all 4s, leaning on beanbag!!), so FX it will be ok on Fri. Have now started to feel some movements, which is so reassuring. Am totally paranoid that it will all go wrong, and I feel really unmotivated and ambivalent towards work - just don't care about it at the moment. I would be happier if I could just not leave the house for the next 13 weeks or so, apart from for scans & consultant appointments, until the baby is here. Feeling really confused emotionally - as I'm sure you can all understand.

I hope that everyone is doing ok - blizy, I'm so pleased that AF finally arrived (although it feels really odd to say that!!)

to everyone - sorry I haven't been around lately x

Oh angel I'm so sorry what a bloody nightmare Fx Ant gets something quickly, what does he do? Phebs sounds such a delight xx

Elly your post sounds so familiar! I remember so clearly just wanting to sit still on the sofa willing days to pass. I was totally uninterested in work and wanted to finish. Ended up stopping at 35 weeks on doctors advice with Holly born at 37 weeks. I too remember counting down to the magic 24 weeks and then every day that passed was a bonus. Movements are so great [only] only thing I miss about not being pregnant! Lovely squirmy inside baby feelings. Remember we're all here and we totally understand xxx

rainbox I'm so glad you saw your wriggly baby! Yay. Been thinking of you while I was at my slimming class.

angel can't believe your in this situation again. That nursery sounds great! (Sacasm) my mum was a childminder and she would always take the kids unless they were really ill. Explosive poo's don't count. Have you thought about a childminder?

I watched an ivf programme last night on bbc 4, made me cry a lot, the doc was so nice and spoke a lot of sense about getting pg and the feelings we all have espcailly when you are finding it difficult and it was good to see what ivf is all about. Anyone else watch it?

Oh no angel, not again with ant! Hope he finds work sharpish.
WRT to pheb nursery situation I would be sitting on the fence a bit tbh, I know my policies are enforced by the Scottish care commission and I'm sure the nursery will have to follow offstead guidelines. However, sending her home with one poo explosion seems ott to me. I would only send home if there were more than 2 runny nappies, vomiting, infectious illness and if the child was visibily ill and could not partake in my routine. There is a 48 hour exclusion period after last bout of sickness/diarrhoea which has to be adhered to (by offstead/cc).

A lot of it is commen sense, as I have kept babies with runny nappies because of teething etc.

Fan, that programme sounds interesting. I will watch it on I player tomorrow.

Big waves to everyone else, sorry too tired to name check!
X

Evening all

Rainbox: Sooooooooooo relieved everythings ok with the 'baby box' (nickname pinched from WTW : ) Look after yourself and put your feet up chick xxxxx

Angel: So sorry about Ants job. FX he gets another job quickly. Lovely nursery NOT! I was lucky with the nursery I chose.....it really was a home from home. (Only about 20 kids in total) They rarely rang unless the kids were very unwell which was a blessing because we were paying for two of them because there is 20 months but only 1 school year between them. I found the bigger nurseries just seemed to treat it like a business (Similar stories to yours from a friend). No idea how big or small Phebs nursery is, that was just an observation of mine and may help you if you decide to look around!
sending hugs to you chick..... but your so right, NOTHING can be worse than loosing Georgie xxxxx
Fan: Hey I did see that programme. One of the last things the narrator said stuck with me which was 'ultimately, mother nature will have her way'. He was basically pointing out that although IVF can help its still a bit of a lottery!! I cried to, especially sad when for them when it didnt work x

Thanks all.
BabyH there's ( in total 80 kids at nusery in 5 rooms) about 6/7 in Phebs... They just seem so quick to ring & have a severe lack of common sense. Your nusery sounded fab... Xxxx
Fan didn t see the programme . Sounds interesting. Yes, Groundhog Day !!!! Here again!!!!
Blizty mmm... Interesting . I understand the 48 hr exclusion policy as for obvious reasons we have the same at work. However, I just want them to use common sense. However, a lot of them are young & without kids , which I think is a lot of their downfall.xxx
Elly whoop whoop over half way through... Hope the scan goes well xxx I was the opposite to you ; work was my saviour as it gave me something else to focus on. I worked up to the week before I had Phebs at 37 weeks. Take care xxx
Wtw Ant is a HR officer... Yes , it's a bugger!!!!

Elly: Wishing the days away for you xxx

Split: Hope your feeling better xxx

Blizy Waves xxx

Green: Sames as for Elly...........wishing the days away for you xxxx

Kliene: Have been thinking of you and 'E's 7 month anniversary today. Big hugs xxx

Mias Your skiing holiday sounds lovely. I wish your beautiful red headed Mia was there too xxxx

Night all Sorry if I missed anyone xxx

Sorry KLIENE, I meant tomorrow I'm already in Wednesday mode but it is almost midnight xxxx

Well I'm 32 today and well I'm happy, I like my birthday, but in the back of my mind I am sad, Fi is not here and I don't have a baby!

Happy Birthday Fan :) 32 wow your so young. Hope you have a lovely day......I wish you had your beautiful daughter to share it with you Fingers crossed this will be a year to remember with GOOD things coming your way. I hope your DH is spoiling you. Lots of love xxxx

Fans birthday has got me curious how old everyone is......shall we all tell. Im willing to divulge I'm the grand old age of 38!!

Love to all thinking of you all especially Rainbox and baby box!

Kliene: You too. Big hugs xxx

Happy Birthday fan, I hope that you have a lovely day xxx I suppose all 'celebrations' like birthdays will always bring those feelings of loss and longing, it sort of focusses our minds on who isn't around to share the time with us xxx

I am also 32 but will be 33 in Feb.

Fan happy birthday!!!
I am coming to 42!¡!

Happy Birthday Fan! It is amazing to be able to feel so happy sometimes and so sad all at the same time. I would not have believed it was possible.

I am 29, 30 in September.

Angel thats rotten. You are right, nothing will be as bad as what you have gone through, but at the same time you would have thought the world owed you a bit of a break! Hope Pheb feels better soon and Ant finds something.

Elly 23 weeks! Wow! I'd say time flies but I am sure for you it is dragging. I know I keep counting the days and seeing if I can get them to add up to more this time but nope, still only 9 weeks. Really thinking about you.

And that you for all the good wishes for "Baby Box"! I love that nickname and have swiped it :) MrR is indeed right, but don't worry, I won't tell him ;) I am very lucky to have him actually. We disagree and fall out, but he is always on my side and I know how important I am to him. As he is to me.

notso and Kleine thinking of you on your anniverseries. It is always tough, and I am sorry you have to go through it. Hoping there is peace as well as sadness.

Love to everyone, I have been snoozing most of the day, and that is apparently exhausting so I am off for a nap!

xxx

Happy birthday fan! I'm glad you can be happy, although obviously missing Fi. I hope, as the others have said, it's a good year for you!

BABYH.... I am 39, but will be 40 on the 20th jan. feeling v. old! I always thought I would have my life 'sorted' by 35....

I am going to try for a scan next Tuesday, I can't wait much longer without going crazy.... Ive been a bit 'hormonally challenged' this last week, DP has been very patient!

fan wishing you a very happy birthday amidst the sadness, and hoping for a very happy year ahead for you and DH too. Lots of love to you, and hope you are being wonderfully spoiled by all your friends and family xxxx

babyh thank you for thinking of E today...
Just like Elly, I am 32 but 33 in Feb.

angel I'm so very sorry about Ant's redundancy. Ugh, how stressful for you both. I really, really hope he finds something else soon, and also that you can sort out what to do about Phebs' nursery.

green hope you get that scan next week - you've been pretty patient, waiting till now

Sorry, in a bit of a rush, but waves to elly, wtw, mias, blizy, notso, and an especially big wave to rainbox - hope you are feeling a bit more relaxed today - and to everyone else who I've missed too, lots of love xx

Kleine for you xxxx thinking of you today..we ll be ok... We re tough!!!!
Elly , xxx
green ; hope you re scan helps .. You ve been through the mill... Xx
Rainbow , how you described your relationship sounded like mine. Ant does my head in & drives me crazy at times ( as you lot well know!) however, after working through our crap & becoming closer again I wouldn t be without him but, don
T tell him that!!!! Xxx
BabyH yes we should all be owed only ever good luck from now on however, life is a challenge ; sometimes lurching from one to another....I refuse to let this get me down...I ve had my Georgie & Phebs I m lucky with my girls xxxx
Fan ; happy birthday
My word I m the old bird on here!!! Was 42 in December... Old biddy!!!
Right ; busy day at work, on the way home now then out at 6 cinema ( again) & tea with a friend... Xxx
Hi all xxxx

Happy birthday fan, I hope ou can smile amongst the sadness.x

I'm 31, 32 in November.

Fingers crossed you get a scan booked next week, green.

Rainbox, enjoy your nap!

Waves to everyone, thinking of you all. X

Hope you've had a lovely day fan Wish Fi was with you too x

Green glad you've got a scan soon. You must be counting down the hours. I don't blame you burying your head in the sand, just leave a hand out for us to hold

Rainbox glad to hear you're resting xx

I'm a similar age to some of you, 31. 32 in May. Feeling a bit sad today. Just found out the lady from my sands group that was pg had a miscarriage at 13 weeks just before Christmas. That's her third one since losing her dd at 39 weeks in 2011. Also my best friend (whose baby was due on Holly's birthday) has just started to miscarry. Bloody cruel we live in

Oh wtw I'm so sorry for both your friends, and particularly the Sands one. That's so sad.

wtw I'm so sorry about your friends bad news, life really does suck sometimes.

Oh and thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes.

Sorry it is late...happy birthday fan!!!

Good morning ladies! Life is very hard indeed and going through dark valleys without support is a horrible, horrible thing and I am grateful for the hand holding and support here....

Not name checking but I read your posts and think of you all constantly...:)

Yesterday I remembered that I am 41 and not 42 as I thought!!! That makes me happy as I convinced dh that having a baby would a gap too big with his/her sibling ( dd 18 and ds 13) and what about trying ( hoping and praying) to go for 2??? After reflecting ( he is a thinker , my dh :)) he agreed....
I know that some people are trying their first baba and do not want to upset anybody but I felt that was important in our process of ttc...
Sorry I am aware is not a so serious thing, but it made me happier and happiness is to be grabbed and held , right???
Back to lurking and will jump in joy for some bfps here:).....

Angel...we are almost the same age here!!! So you can not say we are old birds lol...we are girls wth a tiny more experience and no wrinkles at all ( just joking...you might really not have any wrinkles :))
Do we get more cookies if older??? Hope so as I always need cookies in my life:)

WTW I am so sorry to hear your friends bad news. It is not fair that this happens to anyone.

I am still spotting a bit and really trying not to worry. Sorry if the following is TMI! It started on Tuesday as quite a lot of pinkish brown blood. Then yesterday was really brown but less blood. Today it has gone back to pinkish but still very little. I know seeing the heartbeat at nine weeks was a really good sign, and I know lots of women have bleeding during pregnancy. I'm trying not to freak out and just sit it out til Tuesday for the next scan.

Frustrated with my local SANDS group again. They have a facebook group, and a lady had posted looking for support after hearing about the Edinburgh crematorium because the one up here has been giving the same advice re ashes. Admin deleted her post because the page is for fund raising and events only, and not for support. Even though the header reads, "a closed support group for parents who have lost a child in the North East". They were useless when I got in touch with them for support as well. They would only give me generic advice about full term stillbirth, nothing about my specific situation, and no matter how many times I told them what had happened they kept saying things that were really insensitive and of no help. They are great as a national organisation but the one up here is awful. :(

Very grumpy and sad today.

Thinking about all of us though xxx