Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

[RainboxFX]

A shiny new thread in memory of our angels. To bring us all BFPs, sticky beans and healthy happy Rainbows.

blizy fx for today.

wtw that would be lovely, I shall pm pistey to say I have a donor. I shall pm you to wtw.

Blizy hope it goes ok today xxx
BabyH thanks xxx some more sleep here she slept from 10-3 then disrupted sleep since so an improvement!!!! Enjoy your break ... Where you going?
So glad it's the weekend ; time to sleep, sleep, sleep!!! God, this weather is depressing & crap , can t believe this time last week I was in shorts & vest now I m back in my boots
Roll on summer
Managed to blag another AL day next week so off Thurs & Fri so makes it another short week. Thankfully, as too tired to do long stretches at the moment!!!
Love to all xxx

Wtw glad Holly was ok .. Phebs is usually just grizzly enough for 1 dose of Calpol ,sleeps a couple of hours then ok.. Xxx
Spilt think the anniversaries are so hard.. It's very conflicting emotions isn r it? I thank god I ve got Phebs but try & seperate my emotions to " give" some time to Georgie as I feel guilty she's not here to live her life... Try & get out , even if just for a walk in the rain it ll lift you slightly. I guess , in a way, that's why works good because I have to go , I ve no choice & most times once I m there I ve friends to talk about Georgie & laugh & cry with ... See a friend or something to try & lift you ... Xxxx
Elly yes it is totally knackering I can t remember the last uninterrupted nights sleep we had ... I think it's payback as a baby she slept well.. It's like chinense water torture.. hope u re ok?
Xxx

Hi all, sorry not to name check, just feeling a bit crap. AF arrived this morning (9 day luteal phase. So, an improvement, even if it's not quite good enough yet...). I was fully prepared for it to make me feel this way, but it's so horrible isn't it - I just miss E so much, and I HATE that we have to do all of this again.
Onwards and upwards, though. I will pull myself together, and remember how amazing our daughter was, and know that this next baby we're hoping for will be just as amazing... whenever he or she comes.
Love to all xx

Blizy, thinking of you today. Hope you get a good answer.

Kleine, so sorry AF got you. But you're right, little E was amazing and special and the next one will be too.

Hello all, I finally caught up with you!! Won't name check just now, but thinking of blizy and amy especially today.

Think nearly everything is ready for Mia's inquest. We are writing a press statement tonight - already have the local news channel contact us to say they will be talking about Mia on Monday morning, so we have ensured they have the correct facts.

The registration of the star Mia Alexandra came through yesterday, so it is shining brightly somewhere in the universe, even if we haven't quite been able to identify it. And just now, the Woodland Trust rang to say they are interested in doing a site visit to Mia's Wood, and it looks as though they are very open to helping us... I would love to take these as auspicious signs, but I can't think that way anymore, even if I am glad they happened.

But I bumped into two key hospital staff for Mia's inquest in a shop, very randomly, and it was quite awkward. They congratulated me on this pregnancy, and then I couldn't think of anything to say except - "I guess we will see you on Monday..."

I wouldn't normally say this, but if you do have any spare positive thoughts and prayers, if you could send them on, MrMia and I would certainly appreciate them next week.

Miasmummy: you are top of my list I've already started praying for you and yours. God this is so hard for you and your family. I know your parents arrived and hope this is helping you. Its lovely to have a star....my neighbours named one for our beautiful boy and Im sure Mia Alexandra will be shining brightly and lighting up the sky tonight.

Words are sometimes never enough and my faith has been tested recently but there is a mass intention for Adam on Sunday so I will light an extra candle and let the flame burn brightly for your beautiful red headed daughter.

Thinking of the signs too. I wear a 'FOOTPRINTS' necklace because I needed/hoped/prayed to be carried through these awful times. My hubby had never heard of it. My uncle died not long after the baby and a bureau was delivered to my mums from his house he wasn't religious in any way and we arrived at my mums just as the delivery guy left. When my mum opened up the bureau the only thing inside it was a FOOTPRINTS plaque with the full story inscribed on it....I hadn't seen my auntie and had only been wearing the chain for about a week it was almost like it was meant for us or my DH in some way because he didn't know the story.

I don't know if you are religious and whatever the 'meaning of it all' I hope you and your family are 'CARRIED' over the coming days. Sending you lots of love xxxxx

Footprints in the sand

One night a man had a dream
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed 2 sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it.
"Lord you said that once I had decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied:
My son my precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.

mias I'm sending you lots of positive vibes, you are always in my thoughts all of you ladies but this week mostly you and blizy. The wood sounds great, I hope the woodland trust can help you with the planting and maintaining of the wood. (Wouldn't mind working for them myself) its so nice to think that mia's star is up there shining light down apon us all.

Miasmummy all my thoughts and prayers will be with you MrMia and MiasGrandad next week. You've all done an incredible job pulling everything together. It's just heartbreaking that you've had to. Lots of little signs - Mia is always with you. So much love to you xxxx

How are you doing Blizy? xx

Fab day at Harry Potter. Thoroughly recommend it! I'm going to a baby loss remembrance service on Sunday. Will think of all our angels as I light a candle xxx

Miasmum I m not & never will be religious in the slightest however, every positive thought I have is to will you through the next few weeks ... Be strong chick xxxxx
BabyH nice poem though!!! Xxx
Kleine sorry AF got you.. Fx for your BFP very soon .. You re quite right all our angels are totally amazing & your rainbow will be too... Xxx
Fan hope u re ok? Xx
Blizy know you re out .. Not in a stalkish way , but a FB way!!! Hope u have a fab evening & the results were ok?
Hi all; shattered again!!! Busy at work glad it's the weekend & only done a short week!!!
Enjoy all xxxxx

Wow, I've just cuaght up with the threads but have forgotten most of what I have read.

Babyh - I love "Footprints" - I have a poster of it up in our toilet. I'm not really religious but love the idea of someone (maybe my Dad who died when I was 3) carrying me through the bad times. Hopefully he's looking after Daisy now for us. I just want to apologise to you as I now realise my post on Weds was a bit insensitive in regards to what you are currently going through. I hadn't read any previous posts and just needed to tell someone, sorry.

I guess the hormones have kicked in as have been crying a lot whilst catching up with you all and have felt emotional all day. It seems to have brought all the emotions back from Daisy and, as everyone else, I am petrified of what is going to happen over the next few months. Can someone just knock me out and wake me up when it's all over?

(gives herself a good slap). Right "today I am pregnant and i'm enjoying it".

Big hugs and hello to everyone.

Mias - sending as many positive thoughts as I can muster to you xx

Morning ladies:

Little: DON'T APOLOGISE You have ABSOLUTELY nothing to be sorry for. Your entitled to share your wonderful news and shouldn't have to worry about doing that on here of all places. Yes it true I would love a rainbow baby and hopefully life will be kinder to me one day and your post gave me nothing but hope that my time will come again one day......in fact I should apologise to you for my non stop moaning lol

Your bound to be scared for your future rainbow but I would like (to offer my services....I sound like a lady of the night ;) to CARRY you through the bad days along with the other amazing ladies on here. Lots of love hope your feeling better today xxxxx

Angel: Hope you got some well deserved kip and those pesky teeth behaved themselves with Phebs last night xxxx PS We are going to Butlins in Bognor Regis.....wish it was somewhere warmer but the kids are looking forward to it and if they're happy I feel a bit happier x

Blizy: Hope your ok. Thinking of you xxxx

Kliene: Sorry your AF got you. Are you going to start using your CBFM now? Sending you lots of good vibes.......I have a little feeling you need them lately xxxxxx

AMY: Thinking of you and your growing rainbow keeping my FX everything will be fine which is what you deserve. Hope these next few weeks fly by xxx

Mias: Prayed for you all last night before I went to sleep. xxxxx

Busy day ahead I'm going to an old friends house tonight for dinner and a couple of drinks.....we have been friends for many years so I know I will feel comfortable and its the first time Ive felt up to going out since we lost Adam.

Oh and my ebay CBFM arrived ;) winks to Kliene just wish my Af would arrive soon so I can start to use it!!

Waves to everyone else xxx

I am having such trouble catching up! Thinking about all of us having tough times or with good news.

Went to the doctors and the dentists this week, and apparently I am stressed to feck. I have ground the enamel off my teeth and had to have them resurfaced, thrown my hormones out of whack so my cycle has just gone bizarre and given myself a stomach ulcer which I now have medication for. This was the final straw and led to me laughing hysterically for about an hour, much to my husbands worry! Don't know what do to to calm down.

Everyone still above water? I was at work yesterday as a van driver and it got a bit scary watching the roads all get more and more flooded.

Popping on to say Dh test results were good!

Know what you mean rainbox the thread moves fast these days! What did the docs/dentists suggest for you? Not surprised you are stressed to feck, I hope they can do more than just fix the teeth etc. Did they have any helpful things to say?

miasmummy thinking of you all lots at the moment. What are you doing this weekend? I hope it is much easier than you anticipate, but sure it is going to be a massively exhausting experience. Lots of love xx

babyh enjoy your night out! Well done

kleine so sorry AF got you. It's just another bloody kick in the teeth sometimes ((hugs)). I don't know if it's a good or bad thing to say so apologies now if this is the wrong thing - but I too have a 9/10 day LP and I worried a lot about it when ttc (googling LPD, the lot!), but actually it didn't seem to be a bar - I conceived Bobbie in 4 cycles, and Freya was a surprise. So I have every faith that you will become pg with your rainbow soon.

angel did you have a better night?? The tiredness defies description at times doesn;t it. I just end up eating eating eating to get some energy!! Thanks for your advice the other day. I did go for a walk and took Freya to the park. She had a lovely time picking daisies and being wowed by dandelion clocks!

Right, off to hoover, inlaws on their way. House is a pigsty. Tbh I'd rather eat some more chocolate!

ooh, xpost blizy, that is great news! Bet DH is proud

DH is in a piss with me because I am all mopey. Apparently I just need to "think positive" and then all will be fine

Mias, thinking of you and will light a candle tonight for your beautiful little girl.

Sorry, forgot to refresh the display before I posted - Blizy, great news!

Spilt, tell him to fuck off? Yup, thinking positive solves everything. Maybe some physical activity will help, raise your endorphins and all that.

Blizy fab news time for more "action" then
Babyh hope you have a lovely time away. It's a change if scenery ... Xxx thanks , had a better night she slept from 8 ish to 05;30 so much better , thank god.., seems more like herself today .. Xxx
Spilt glad you was feeling a little brighter to your DH pissed you off... Bloody men... Waste of space half the time!!! Glad you got out , enjoy your visitors... Xxx
Oh Babyh have a good time tonight xx
Love to all weather here fab so hoping it stays like this off in to town with Phebs soon need to get her bday present & some bits & pieces... Xxxx

Hello to everyone. Feeling better today, thank you. I would be honoured to have you babyh and the lovely ladies on here help to carry me through this. I hope I am able to return the favour to you all.

blizy - great news.

Spilt - I also have to hoover, as my house is a complete mess, as well as walking the doggies. Got my "can't be arsed" head on and although currently off chocolate would much rather sit here eating some!!!

Mias - thinking of you. How are you feeling today?

Rainbox - wish I knew what to say to help. Be gentle with yourself and hope you find a way to start swimming furiously to the surface soon.

Kleine - sorry about AF, fx you get your BFP soon.

Fan and everyone I have missed - hope you are all ok and have a good weekend.

I've got a wedding reception tonight. It's an old work colleague so won't know many people and therefore shouldn't have to explain why I am not drinking, thankfully. I am really bad at lying and making up excuses!! DH doesn't want to go even though I have said we won't be staying long and he can go and meet his friends if he wants to once he has shown his face.

Well, this is no good. Can't take the puppy dog stares anymore!! Take care everyone, xx

blizy that is great news, a bit like me though. Is it a bit tough to comprehend that nothing is wrong? And why are we still in this 'no pregnancy place?' Hopefully me and you will be up the duff very soon.

amy so sorry you are having a rough time I have my fingers crossed for you that all is ok.

little do you drive? Will you drive to the reception, if you can thats what the excuse is, you are the driver. Or tell them you are on medication. Or that you are on a diet or my DH has just suggested that you are training for something like a run. I told people three years ago that I was teetotal, it was mainly because I was trying to get pg, and so now people just dont ask me or if they do I just say Im tee total. and they leave me alone.

rainbox the amount of shit you have put up with this year is bound to come out somewhere, dont be too hard on yourself. I found myself grinding my teeth at night last year and had to put a stop to it myself. I think we get so fixated that the only cure is to get our cycles right and to get pregnant again, our bodies expect us to have our babies with us but we dont and trying to come to terms with what we have been though it tough enough with out having an op aswell.
What things can you do to start enjoying yourself again? Is there soemthing you have always wanted to do like a hobby or something? It might help you enjoy things a bit more and also help take away some of the other stresses. Unfortunatly the stress of losing Dexter will take longer to get though. Maybe book a little break away that you can look forward too and plan.

We have a little visitor tonight my 9 year old BIL, so we are having a pizza, sweets, and ice cream night playing minecraft and watching movies.

spilt I agree tell him to fuck off, lol. Your aloud a moody day, he will have to lump it!

waves to everyone, hope you are having a good weekend.

Hi everyone, we are back home at last! Centerparcs was a mix of highs with the boys (J managed the high ropes course which was a big deal for him, and K can swim on his back and ride his two wheeler now, ). The difficult parts were it all being just the same as last time, Merryns 6month date was on Friday, and on fri I had a bleed. Not so good.
So I have a scan booked Mon at 11am. Bit scared. I also, ironically, have my booking appt with the MW on Tues at 3pm, which I'm hoping not to have to cancel! Oh, and Monday is also Ks fifth birthday!

Going to read back and catch up with you all now, you've been busy! Back soon! Xx

Well, I've read back but there is so much!

LITTLE9 what great news! I'm so pleased for you, while knowing a bit of how scared you feel.... I also have a due date within 3 days of Merryns due date, which I'm only just realising means everything is the 'same' as it was last year, not easy!

Mia'sMummy, I will be thinking about you and your family this week, and sending you strength and love to get each other through. I wish we all lived in your town at times like this, we could cook and comfort and try to help. As it is, if there is anything more helpful than our love and a virtual lasagne, please ask. Xxxx

KLEINE, just want to give you a hug. I know it's different for everyone, but since Merryn I've charted fanatically, and only one month was 'normal'. The others all were silly cycles, with short LP, I had given up OV testing on the one I got BFP in, as it was so far in I could have overlapped with pregnancy tests! (although if scan shows no HB this isn't the best example). Just stay hopeful love. Remember your body does make miracles, its done it before. Xxxx

I want to say hello to everyone, but have to get ready to drive to Js dyslexia reading tuition. Poor kid, having to do this on a Sunday morning, I wish he didn't need it. We are going to visit another school on Fri, and thinking about moving the boys. I don't want to, but Js not getting enough support. They have been amazing with us this year though, so it will take a lot to change. The boys go to an alternative school, Park School in Dartington, (if anyones interested Jacob is the one up a tree in the film on the front page of their website)! it's why we moved to Devon, so it'd be a big deal to change.