TTC for 10+ months, part 10

[princesschick]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Oh my goodness euro we walked nearly 10 miles? I fell asleep on the sofa when I got home and I didn't even have jetlag! sorry. But you are just a treat. Hope the rest of the trip is going well and that you get some shopping in!

gin sorry about CD1 but it is really exciting that your next round is so close now. I am excited and nervous on your behalf! We will be here holding your hand so no hysterics en route to theatre necessary.

buzzy aaah, so that's what 'superovulation' means. I'd seen that phrase and didn't know what it meant... . I would not fancy doing this if I ovulated on my own, let me tell you - that must have been hard. Love to Charlie.

coco ha ha, haven't heard blob in ages.

euro wave. That's a good old walk.

xpost lemon - I am so, so sorry about the announcements. Well done you for having the strength to make a counselling appointment.

Aw lemon thats so tough I'm sorry, I think sarlats stabby in the heart comment will always sum that up for me. What rotten timing for you. But, you know, this will go down as a real low point - but - there WILL be high points, this I am sure of. And they are in your next chapters. Let it all out. ' A'announcements take me a good few days to ick myself up from. I had a c one this week. It still made me . She'd been routing around for help from me after trying 6 months for number two. 7th month lucky.

Sorry, but 6 months trying is no longer a C for me
And stabby is the word, but not just in the heart. It is all over the body, including the stomach (I tend to feel emotions there...)

lemon big squeeze. I have no bosoms to offer but send you a slightly bony love! this too will get better.

So sorry lemon
They are a particularly fertile bunch, your friends.
A gentle squeeze from me too.

Coco - thanks for the handholding and sorry about your egg not popping this week. Here's hoping it's coming very soon. Thinking of you too.

Joy - last pregnancy got a BFP at 12 dpo. Today I am 13 dpo. My LP is 14 days. I do think that you would still be a candidate for natural cycle FET as a 12 day LP is still considered normal I think? Or you could do a natural cycle and then just the progesterone in the 2ww. Don't feel guilty about you MIL. My guess is, her being told she is no longer welcome will speak more loudly to her than a sit down conversation. The consequesnces need to match the crime ifyswim. Hopefully she will reflect on this. Also - the coaching sounds like a great idea. Someone to give you new perspective and motivation. We can't be expected to carry this load all on our own - it's too heavy. Remember you don't even have real support from your family. Take all the help you can get! xx

Mrs Den - that thing about never getting baby presents made me sad. It's so hard sometimes isn't it.

Buzz - you seem really well. I laughed about "stop messing with your cervix" . I used the word 'holistic' plenty in my recent application. Ha ha. Holistic, holistic, holistic, ha ha ha

Critter - I will happily take the chocolate kippers and the billy bass - thank you. Keep growing precious follies, keep growing.

Gin - I will be doing a pee test at the hospital on Monday (18 dpo) regardless if my period comes or not. I think I will test tomorrow (14 dpo). Sorry about CD1 and ignorent men on the train. Grrr . I know what you mean about being nervous of the scan. You just feel at the mercy of others.

Euro - it's great that you and Critter had an eastside TTC 10 month+ commitee meeting. Will look forward to hearing how you are getting on when you are back.

Rabbit - yes I think I do crave olives at ovulation time. I am generally more hungry and yearn for savoury and spicey type foods. Sorry about the catagory C announcement.

Lemon - Oh God, I'm sorry. Stabby pains indeed. That seems so cruel. Counselling appointment sounds sensible.

13 dpo here. I am testing tomorrow but scared to do so. Temps are dropping and feel the fluttery pre-period feeling. I know you are all going to say it's too soon to know and you are right. I guess I am just doing that thing where you mentally prepare yourself for bad news. Im sorry - I really don't handle to 2WW after IVF very well. All those hopes and expectations. I have been made to feel that I have a great chance of success with this transfer which of course is a wonderful thing. And I am very grateful for that. But it kind of makes it further to fall too. Thanks for all the fish slaps. They were very refreshing . I just couldn't get through this without you ladies.

I feel it could go either way. I am 100% certain the blasto survived and has implanted as I felt this happening. But I'm not certain that the process has continued as the niggley pains have weakened and now my temps are dropping. Thanks for listening, just wanted to write it down. I have a nice day today with a close freind and her lovely little 2 year old boy. But she is fantastic about all this so I will be in safe hands. I am hoping that I get offered an interview soon - that would at least give me a little lift. I am not crazy up and down like yesterday, just daren't beleive any more.

sar ... hug .. I'm glad you are in good company today.
I wish I was elleqant enough to find the right words to give you both comfort and hope.

Ginger is offering you her favourite banana and I have all my fingers and toes crossed for positive test tomorrow.

Just popping in quickly.

lemons massive hugs from me too. I feel so much for you. I think counselling is a great idea. You have suffered a bereavement, made all the harder by the fact you have been trying for so long x

sar I think you are doing amazingly well in the 2ww. I was totally mental during mine and never off the other website, looking for clues as to whether it might have worked. I also couldn't sleep, although that may have been the steroids. It is such a tough time - you must give yourself a break. You're v much allowed to be up and down! Hope you have a lovely day with your friend. I found distractions did help, although I was generally felt too poorly to do much other than watch box sets! And if this hasnt worked, it isnt necessarily related to your tubes. It's often just bad luck. Xx

A bloody preggo has just sat opposite me in the train. Whilst I have period pain (which woke me up at 3am), bugger off pregnant ladies!

lemon I'm sorry, its just so shit, you feel llike you are coping and then you get an announcement that knocks you for six. No great words of wisdom, it does get easier to cope with but it takes time, super super big hugs, have a good cry and let it out, I hope you find counselling helpful

critter I felt so desperate so that is why I did it, I just want my effing baby!!!! NOW. It does work for some women though

gin I'm hoping with winter coming preggos will be less easier to spot with winter coats etc. One of my colleagues who I am going to work with has just mentioned her sister 20 week scan is coming up, I could just cry :(

sar I think you are amazing, I honestly don't think I will cope with the 2ww on IVF, it totally freaks me out even now. The NHS does love its key words :)

Lots of luck and fingers crossed for tomorrow sarlat

sar I think you are dealing with this wait wonderfully. I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must be to have to wait after IVF - the stakes must feel so much higher and you have been through so much. I am so hoping for you that you get good news tomorrow. I think you are amazing too. I'll be thinking of you all day today.

missmedusa I was just thinking about you last night - did you get confirmation of your BFP in the end?

buzzy I can SO relate to the 'I just want my effing baby' feeling. I said almost exactly the same thing to MrC last night - had a meltdown after forgetting about some very expensive chili and bell peppers that I had lovingly coated with organic olive oil and oregano and left to roast in the oven before going to a gym class and only remembering I hadn't turned the oven off during the last, 'relaxing' five minutes of stretches... they were burnt to a crisp. This spiralled into a huge cranky outburst about no baby and being homesick to poor MrC, who can't do anything about either of those problems.

lemon huge hug to you. Hope you are feeling better today.

gin sorry about the preggo on the train. The people who live in the flat above my office are bringing their newborn home today and will be bringing her into the office to be cooed over. On the plus side, my lovely former landlady, who had been trying for 5 years and is a category D, just texted me to say she had her baby (3rd round of IVF, and she was seeing the same doctor as me) two weeks ago. Swings and roundabouts. We will get there, ladies.

Hugs and tail feather shakes to all. My positive news is that I went for a scan today and my lining was looking good and I had two 14 mm follies and one 16 mm one. The nurse said that the doctor likes the follies to be 18mm before triggering, so I will probably be called back on Friday morning to have another scan. I really think all your positive thoughts and good wishes and cheers have worked. Thank you ladies.

Yay for follie growth, Critter. It sounds like the higher dose is doing just what it should.

Sarlat ? i don?t know how you are coping with the waiting and wondering but you seem to be handling it amazingly. There is a fine line on here between being positive on behalf of someone and then giving them oodles of hope for it then to be dashed. It?s difficult to get the balance. All I can say is I just hope this is your time and your temps will recover and do a jump up. I have probably become far too attached to everyone on here and I find myself willing people to get bfps especially after assisted conception and ivf ? i think apart from anything else it just gives so much hope for the rest of us and so my point is, you aren?t alone, we?re all here behind you. Really best of luck with getting an interview. I have found myself to be a bit more chirpy (well apart from the last few days) since making the decision to take my career in a new direction next year. It kind of gives me a sense of purpose. I hope you have had a lovely day with your friend.

Lemon ? i?m really sorry about the two announcements. However much progress you think you are making when coming to terms with things, pregnancy announcements make you feel like you have taken 10 steps back. take heed that after a few days , the worst of the shock will be over. Massive hug and counselling sounds like a good idea.

Critter ? yes i?m surprised she had me on gonal f for iui. I?m like a broken record and seem to complain about the same old things about my gynae. I obviously blame her for a lot of things. But on another note, that?s fab your follies are on the move, woohoo!! They just need coaxing out of their shells, pesky little things! How pleasing for you. Are you doing IUI or are you trying naturally in the meantime? And love the positive story about your former landlady. I think that should be classified as a Z pregnancy.

Gin ? sorry about AF and finding yourself near preggos on public transport. They are hard to deal with most the time and especially when AF is around. What i have found works with me is when I find myself getting irritated by a pregnant person who I happen to be near yet don?t know, I just think that she may have had ivf and may have had all sorts of struggles to get pregnant and just that thought calms me. I do notice a lot of heavily pregnant women pushing 2 year olds in prams and i?m afraid that just screams baby breeder and i get irrationally upset. Emma Thompson said when she was going through infertility, she used to be obsessed by counting the number of children women had and I kind of understand that. Oh and yes, MiL does know we are trying to conceive.

Euro ? nice to hear from you and hope you have a good journey back. I do love the fact you met with critter!

Rabbit ? that book was called something like Fertile Soul i think> i will have to dig it out when i get home. There wasn?t anything particularly new in there although i found it interesting how one chapter said that infertility is often a catalyst for women to go down a path of self discovery.

Buzzy ? oh i understand the ?I just want an effing baby?. This will be my 3rd birthday i have said to MrJ that I want a baby for my birthday and i will say the same thing when he asks me want i want for xmas....even though it has been drummed in to me that ?i want never gets?.

Yay for your follies Critter! Sorry you are feeling homesick and big crapola about your charcoal peppers. That's enough to bring out anyone's chimp.

Critter - what a relief about your follies and lining. Postive thoughts now for you.

Thank you for the kind words, hand holding and bananas.

Sadly, I'm not going to get a chance to test as AF has made her first appearance. I would love to think this is implantation bleeding but I know it isn't. I think something started and failed, just like last time.

I'm not really handeling this well at all. Thank you all for keeping a close eye on me for the last few days. I just feel really really bad inside. 2.5 years of infertility and 2 failed IVF's with perfect blastos - I'm really up shit creek now. Sorry, I don't want to make anyone else glum.

sar Oh no. I am so, so sorry. I am absolutely, totally gutted for you, I was so hoping that this would be your lucky round. Please take care. This isn't the end, you WILL have a baby, I am sure of it. But what a kick in the stomach.

Thank you Critter, tears are falling now.

Oh sar, I'm so so sorry. Like critter, I too am gutted and feel upset on your behalf. You must allow yourself to grieve but I am convinced you will have your baby one day. Remember the ivf stats... It takes 3 goes normally. But you dont need to hear that at the moment. Massive hugs and look after yourself. I hope mr sar is looking after you.

Oh sar, I am so sorry. Your post made me teary. I was hoping so badly for you. Have a hug.

To add insult to injury, I was feeling better and practicing thinking of lovely friend with new born in April, and doing really well, when lo and behold, the next announcement came. Admittedly a C, but still it hurt.

Yay for growing follies, critter. But so sorry you are feeling home sick.

Waves and hugs to gin for preggos on the train, I have started hating them with a vengance again... It left me, but is BACK. Although I hope with buzzy on winter coats hiding them soon!

I agree that action speak louder than words to your MIL, joycep. But well done on finding purpose in work plans and new directions!

Pets and waves and stuff to you all.

sar I really am so sorry, I really thought this was your cycle, have a good cry and let it all out, big hugs x

critter what day of your cycle are you on??

sar I'm so sorry.. like critter says, you will get there, you will have your baby. and