TTC for 10+ months, part 10

[princesschick]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

ok, sorry for the cluster posting, but i've just seen one of the exhibitors is Barbados IVF! I'm sold - thats my next clinic sorted then!

cosmos I'd love to go to the show! I really wanted to go last year but Dave point blank refused. The only problem is it'd be v near EC. Could I wait until nearer the time and then let you know? Hopefully EC would be on the 5 or 6th, so I could still come, unless I'm in for a scan.

buzzy they were much more on time with the scans during the ivf, but these were generally first thing in the morning. There was a lot of hanging around during EC, but I guess surgery doesn't always run to time - I was in there for 45 mins, whilst they tried to stop the bleeding, instead of my allotted 20 mins! I had assumed all clinics were bad with timings - I've heard of some running a whole morning late- but it sounds like you've found a much more organised one. Create's admin is particularly shite (we've had consultations cancelled the day before), so possibly not for you if you think this would add massively to the stress. I think it's partly cos they are smaller, they are a bit disorganised. It's a tough decision, hugs.

Hi all,
Heart I'm sorry about the spotting, must be very stressful. mrsden crappy AF and mental cycles. :-(
Euro, it's so beautiful when a little kid takes your hand or gives you a cuddle off their own bat. And then a bit sad too. I know what you mean. My IUI on Friday went fine although I was feeling a bit depressed at the clinical nature of it all. The follicle was 21mm and there was better motility than we had before so maybe we've a better chance this time. Testing on 4th November.

I just need to complain a little bit about something. Pls stop reading if you don't wish to read a rant.
My BLOODY HAIR IS FALLING OUT. I have two small BALD patches at the front and the rest is thinning dramatically and at great speed. I noticed a few days ago although I've seen the effects in my brush over the last couple of weeks. I spent Saturday and Sunday googling and the clomifen (clomid) tablets - possible side effect is hair loss, the prednihexal (to balance out my too many male hormones) - possible side effect is hairloss. Why didn't they warn you of this? I know this is purely vanity not a real problem but honestly, I'm gutted. I love(d) my hair. It helped me feel like a woman when infertility was kicking at my selfesteem. GAH. I'm off to the chemist in the morning and calling the doctor.

Oh bugger freedom that's shit about your hair. Have you ever had anything like it before? Good luck with chemist and doctor. Good work though on the IUI.

heart I hope things are looking up for you, hang in there.

My Dr's guess for my EC fallS on the same dates as yours Gin though we are yet to see how I respond to the drugs. I might have said a thousand times I haven't taken any fertility drugs before, so there are lots of question marks. dr told me to give him a call when I get my period, which should be today or tomorrow. Where are you at now Artemis ?

Well done on the payment and cheating shagging nelly

Thanks for your comments on the loo jizz gin princess and medusa , I told Ken that an Interweb lady called him a hero for getting it done, and he was all proud. He added that he did think that he might try to find 'somewhere else' to get it done but could only think of his car.. at older lady porn gin . I should add that this was the main hospital lab not the IVF clinic. I will be filling my Dr in on the horrors (I suspect he knows, given his advice to do it at home) and checking on the masterbatorium situation at the clinic itself.

Well sounds like the meet up was good - princess I still remember your Spooks report from last time. Glad to hear you had a good weekend too euro with your niece. My weekend was royally buggered up by the massive car bomb on Friday, you may have seen on the news, and associated fall out over the weekend. Anyway it looks like it's not going as bad as it could have done, so that's something.

Monday morning waves to all. X

Morning all,

Lovely to meet the ladies at the weekend :) Everyone is just 100% nice and understanding and lovely. Just as Sar said. Anyone who hasn't been able to make a meet or is a bit scared, I would thoroughly recommend it.

Hope everyone else had a great weekend too.

Well, the time has come for me to move on... I will miss you ladies, you've been an absolute rock of support through the ups and downs over the last 7 months. I really don't know what I would have done without you all. Not only a rock of support but a font of knowledge deeper than most of the doctors I have met along the way and a great place to share jokes, laughs, brutal honesty in a way that only long term TTCers can understand.... I'm not sure I've snorted at my computer quite as much as I have done over the past few months.

I hope to see you all over on the 'other' side of MN soon.

In the meantime, I will be lurking and keeping an eye on you all. (and I expect I'll be back sporadically too)

You never know, there's plenty of time for this to go tits up and for me to be back. However, after spending all of yesterday clinging to the bed, feeling like I was on a ferry in a force 10 gale, actual sick this morning, constipation, weeping at random things (the smell of onions? Real big sobs - yes really), exhaustion etc etc et al I have a good feeling about this one and it's starting to sink in that this really could be the real thing. Not only that but the jeans I was wearing on Saturday have to be abandoned because whispers I can't actually do them up anymore and felt like I was being cut in two on Saturday and had to un-do at dinner later that day and leave undone on the way home too

Love you all, you're all brill
Wishing you all the best luck with the rest of your TTC journeys
I believe that you will ALL get there
And I just hope that it's sooner rather than later

With all my love
Princesschick
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aw, Princess. I am glad you are starting to feel like this one might be sticky and it is starting to feel real. I can understand why you feel it is time to move on, but please do pop back and update us on your progress sometimes. It looks like the brown diet might have done its thing!

freedom how sad about your hair! I'm sure it will grow back very soon though. I had more hair than usual fall out when I was on various drugs, but not enough to give me bald patches. The things we put ourselves through, eh?

Cosmos the show looks interesting. I contemplated it last year. I think I'll pass this year though. I am trying to keep ttc to the back to my mind as much as possible, and I think the show would just give me a load of new stuff to menkul about!

doll and gin it sounds like you are IVF cycle buddies.

I'm still snotty. I had a lovely acu and shiatsu session this morning though. I felt great afterwards.

akubadoll no, never :(
princess so glad it's so far, so good for you. I hope we don't see you back here - in the nicest possibly way :)
euro thanks for letting me know it's not just me. Sorry about the continued snottiness.
I got some priorin (hair root nourishment for women) capsules and I've got an appointment with the dermatologist on friday morning. I'm going away with a girlfriend next week for a trip. That will help get the IUI 2ww over with quickly. I'll go into lurk mode until then.

Freedom - so sorry for the hair loss - I hate the way fertility issues seem to be able to creep in to other parts of our lives. But it seems you have a good plan in place and the girls only trip will be just what the Dr ordered.

Cosmos - thank you for your reassuring words about how you think we will all get there in the end. The same applies for you - in fact you have just about tackled every barrier that was standing in your way. Now it's just a case of waiting for lady luck and the perfect embryo, your time will come. I would have loved to come along to the fertility show but I won't be able to go to London again for some time. But it sounds like a fab idea! Also, I'm going to pm you about somthing else you mentioned.

Mrs Den - aw you poor thing with AF ariving after that possible cycle you just had. It is so cruel when these things happen. I have lost track but are you due to start IVF this month - apologies if I am totally off mark.

Buzzy - it is stresful when the clinics mess us around. Rabbit has some wise words about this. I think in yours shoes I might be tempted to ring the nurses and explain you have come to their clinic because you like their ethos / policies and what you have read about them. But the disorganised impression you took away from last time has unnerved you. What can they say to reasure you about things> Put the ball back in their court. They have a responsability to ensure you feel ok about stuff - patient centred and HOLISTIC and all that

Doll - I really admire your straightforward and positive approch to IVF. Really really hoping this is your time. Keep us up to date. xx

Artemis - you absolute trooper. Nobody, but nobody would have guessed you were in the process of downreging with daily injections! What an amazing person. I hope you are finding time to have sneacky naps. Your body needs the rest.

Euro - sorry you are snotty too. Must be something going around this board. . It must be 10dpo for you too???? I am 100% this is a nothing month for me.

Princess - thank you so much for organising the meet up and it was great to finally meet you in person. I am delighted to hear how sea sick you feel, (in the nicest possible way) it all sounds so positive. I undestand that it feels like time to move to another thread but do pop here as often as you like. Best of luck and thank you again for your witty, bright and useful posts.

Rabbit - how are you today? Feeling any better? How is hare?

Gin - another brilliant lady and I can't belive how close you are to your next round of IVF. You appear relaxed and in control and I have every confidence things are going to work out for you one day soon. Since you told me where you worked, I have been seeing informtation about that place everywhere I have looked. You know that thing when your awarness gets heightened.

Joyce - aw sweetheart, really hoping the op and the anasthetic was all ok. I hope it is all over for you now and you are recovering with tea, toast / cake / maltesers and tv. It was super to meet finally you this weekend. Without you I wouldn't have joined this thread. Thinking of you lots at the moment.

Heart - any updates? Hope all is well. xxxx

Hello to everyone else.

Well I am officially on the waiting list for a lap (to assess damage and for removal of adhesions) and also for cervix dilation. A "2 for 1", if you like. I have been informed that if the adhesions are close to my tube (as suspected) then if I am unlucky, removing them could actually cause the tube to close if it isn't already and cause a hydrosalpinx to form even if there isn't one already. I seem to be plagued by that flipping word - hydrosalpinx!

But I am trying to remember that there are also reasonable chances that this op will help me. If it goes really well, we may even consider trying naturally for a little while. But just saying that out loud is daft because things don't usually go well - but hey, a girl can dream I guess. I

I can't remember if I have informed people here that I was offered that job - hooray. Although they are 'concerned about my sickness record' - dam you failed IVF cycles! After a long talk with my dh (who informs me his name will be chumbawumba which I shall shorten to chum) I have decided to tell my new manager that I have gynae / fertility issues and I am under a consultant. I hope to reassure them that although this is an ongoing process, it won't interfere with my job. They vaguely know I have had 'failed pregnancies' but seeing as though I will need time off for appointments and transfers in the future, I guess I need to be honest about this stuff to some extent. I might use the words gynae / assisted conceptions / miscarriage in a vague way so they don't have specific details. I can't think of another way around all of this. It is such a shame that so many things for us can't stay private.

Hi everyone

Sorry to have been awol. And very jealous of the meet! It sounded like you all had a blast.

princess I am really sad to see you go, but also thrilled to hear that you are feeling so undeniably pregnant . Do come back occasionally and check in - you've been such a bright spot on this board and we are all going to really miss you.

rabbit I'm sorry that you're feeling so sad, and I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Don't worry about bringing the board down, we are here to support you!

doll I saw the news and was worried about you - sounds scary. I hope you're ok.

sar really exciting about your op. This can only be a step in the right direction, and you've done brilliantly getting to this stage. It really does sound promising. And how frustrating about the job and the 'medical history' thing. I'm sorry that you have to talk to people at work about all this. It sucks.

freedom the trip with a girlfriend sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Fingers crossed for you.

pout waves if you're lurking.

heart So sorry about the spotting - how incredibly stressful. I hope you are ok.

euro sorry about the snottiness but yay for the acu and shiatsu. That sounds lovely.

mrsden sorry AF is here.

nelly you made me with your description of the conversation with mrnelly about the non-ttc friendly lube.

gin hurrah for new winter boots! Best part of it getting colder is lovely new autumnal outfit options.

Waves to cosmos, lemon, buzzy, coco and everyone else I've missed. Nothing exciting to report here, I'm afraid, but wanted to check in!

Hi all, sorry to have been silent for the last month - we were away for 2 weeks on holiday and I think I just needed some space after laparoscopy etc. I'm going to start from scratch and will try to catch up on the thread over the next few days, so sorry if I miss things

Sarlat thanks for the excellent summary in your post just there - I think I'd really struggle to catch up otherwise. Well done on the new job - I think giving your manager a heads up the right thing to do, however shit it is. Maybe will save having to explain things as you go along do you think?

Congratulations and bye to princess - hope the seasickness settles soon

joyce how are you post-op?

Sounds like the meet up was a huge success - I am quite envious of the opportunity to speak to others in the same boat in RL.

I had a super-long cycle last month - had almost convinced ourselves we were pregnant, when a really heavy AF came with the worse pains I've ever had. I guess just messed up by the laparoscopy/hysteroscopy?
So we saw the fertility Dr on Friday and she's recommended we go for IVF. We signed a consent form there and then and when AF arrives (I guess in about 2 weeks) we start... they do ICSI as routine (any thoughts?! ) - DH had 'supersperm' so this shouldn't really be necessary, but she says it increases the success rate. For us (34, blocked tube, PCOS, normal sperm) she reckons we have a 45% chance of success.
When she did a scan I was actually ovulating on the left - with the blocked tube, she doesn't think it is likely I will get pregnant but doesn't want to give provera to induce a period just in case. It would be lovely to join the legions of women who get pregnant on the cusp of starting IVF that exist in internet-land, but we've resigned ourselves to spending large sums of cash and having IVF in November anyway.
I'm excited and terrified. And relieved to be 'doing' something.

Will go and read thread now.

mrsmellow I hope your holiday was fab. Welcome back!

Are you paying for your IVF? I'd be a bit suspicious that they do ICSI as routine if so. It's an extra cost for you with no additional benefit if your OH has supersperm. (In fact, from what I have read it can even have a negative effect because a lab technician can only pick the best looking sperm, not necessarily the best sperm, to inject into the egg.) There is loads out there about IVF v ICSI if you want to read up on the pros and cons. But a 45% success rate is fantastic.

sarlat yes, I am about 10dpo (I'm not 100% sure whether my egg popped on the Friday or Saturday as I had pains both days this time). I'm pretty sure that there is nothing going on for me this month either. I saw my acu lady this morning and I think they can normally tell if you are pregnant and she didn't mention it but was already talking about the next cycle. And I haven't felt anything that could have been implantation pains, so I am pretty sure that at this point I am just waiting for the inevitable.

That's annoying about the job (but ace that you got it!). I also have a pretty poor sick leave record this year for fertility reasons and hope that won't cause a problem.

Hi critter have you made a decision on IVF timing yet?

Hi euro yes we are paying - but they charge the same regardless bizarrely - they have a package price! I've done quite a bit of reading about IVF vs ICSI - my concern would be regarding the risk of congenital abnormalities....
Her explanation was that they get more embryo's so increases the success rate
It is great to hear some opinions - I'm really not sure and considering asking them not to do it...

hi ladies, hope you all dont mind me joining the discussion, just losing all my strenght this week and could do with a little chat with some lovely ladies who will understand,
my story so far ttc 17mths
irrgular cycles from 26days to 49days with irregular ovulation, ovulation pain and pain with baby making mid cycle.
clomid for five cycles and then regular cycles of 29-31 days for the past 7mths, tests so far ultrasound, numurous bloods and tube potency test. finally getting a laporoscaopy in a few weeks.
but now looks my cycles are going abit crazy again. now cycle day 37 and no af, i know im not pregnant otherwise i woundnt be going so frantic. mother nature is being so cruel and iam worried after getting this far with my treatment and dignosictics that they now wont do my lap if af dosent come, dispite not being pregnant. its took me so long to finally get my gyno this far, and the next step after lap was to start ivf, so now feel like its all goner be on hold and instead of moving forward we are going backwards.

Just popping in really quickly to say freedom loads of my hair fell out about 3 months after the ivf. Apparently it's quite normal after the body has had a shock like an op and also the hormone can cause it (or so says dr google). It lasted about 2-3 weeks and then went back to normal hair loss. Luckily I have loads of hair, so I didn't get bold patches, but did seriously consider saving all the hair to make myself a wig, just in case! I know how hard it is, it's like the final insult - bold and barren!- but I'm sure yours will only by temporary too.

Still snotty luffs to everyone else, esp joy and her post lap recovery

joy I hope you are ok

mellow I have to agree with euro on the ICSI issue, they were going to give it to us at NLC as they thought Mr B's sperm was crap, but Create think his sperm are ok and would only do IVF, I think the less meddling the better, but that is my own personal opinion

free sorry about your hair

s43ll Welcome, sorry you are having a rough ride, you are always safe here with us

sar it probably is best to tell them something, i told my boss I am doing IVF next year so need to carry over some of my A/L

mellow very interesting re ICSI, I might be in a similar situation actually. My Dr made a passing comment that suggested routine ICSI, which I had not heard of before, and thought after perhaps I'd misheard. I too have doubts and will raise it with him next time I see him.

And Critter thanks, sweet of you to think of me. I think we will be able to hang in here. That's the only issue really - if we get to a point where we will have to split up for a bit. Ken is obliged to be here regardless of the situation but it's possible that things get sticky enough that I will have to take little poupye elsewhere. It would be a bugger as we don't have a base anywhere else and leaving during an IVF cycle would be an additional bummer. BUT we are not there and my guess is we won't get there this time.

mrsmellow that risk was in my mind too but I was reluctant to say it as I didn't want to freak you out! ICSI is fantastic technology (and my best friend has three beautiful children from it) but I don't understand why it would be used where there is no need for it. I'm with Buzzy and think the less intervention the better. Nature has spent 1000s of years evolving the best sperm selection method. Humans have been choosing sperm for ICSI for, what, 20? I think a lot of clinics are moving towards pushing ICSI (I've always heard about it for financial reasons though, which doesn't seem to be the case for you).

doll you have an awful lot to deal with beyond the medical appointments!

Welcome s43ll. I hope you find us a supportive bunch.

Thinking of you joy.

welcome s4, sorry that you find yourself here.

mrsmellow welcome back and I agree with the others on the ICSI. My clinic gave me a form about it too - I haven't asked about it yet, or whether they do it routinely, but I really don't like the sound of it, for the reasons that others have mentioned.

euro I haven't decided yet. I make a decision one way and then swing back. I have currently told everyone that I'm going ahead with it. But I think I will just wait another week and see how I feel then. When do you start? Will it be directly in the New Year?

doll that sounds really stressful. I hope the situation doesn't deteriorate.

gin get well soon!

joy hope your lap was not too awful.

buzzy hope you are ok.

Don't forget that some of us on this thread will be having icsi. We have no choice because of poor count, it's not nice to read about the risks. Or that's it's not natural, going against nature, years of evolution etc. I would never have a baby if I stuck to that thinking. I haven't uncovered any evidence that icsi has poorer outcomes. Of course drs charge more, but it does require more specialist time. With male factor there is no alternative.

blog.drmalpani.com/2010/06/ivf-versus-icsi-which-is-better_13.html

This article explains why icsi is sometimes preferred. I've just read back my last post and I sound like I'm being arsey. I'm not and Im sorry if anyone interprets it that way. I'm in the middle of af induced melancholy and feeling the bloody unfairness of this whole thing. I guess I'm a little sensitive right now. Sorry. I'll be back to post again when I'm out of the tent.

Joy, I'm thinking of you.

mrsd I am so sorry to have upset you with an unthoughtful remark. Of course none of us choose to be in this situation, and I'm horrified if what I have said has caused you anymore stress and worry.

Final post before I creep back n the tent of gloom. This study from 2009 Concludes that there were no increase in congenital anomalies compared to naturally conceived. If anyone has any different information, I'd be interested.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2758944/

There are other studies, this is one example.

I'm really sorry if I have upset you, mrsd. That's why I didn't mention it in my 17:32 post. As I said above, it is a fantastic technology, but so is e.g. open heart surgery and I wouldn't want that unless it was medically necessary. Some clinics seem to be pushing it when it isn't. Just like some clinics give ovulation drugs to women who ovulate with doubtful scientific support (I went along with this for a while myself). These drugs are great if you need them but not so much if you don't. I am generally very anti unnecessary medical intervention (which is one of the reasons why I struggled so much with moving to IVF - no one can tell me why it might help cure my unexplained infertility) and that is what was motivating my last post. I really didn't mean to offend or upset and I hope you are doing ok.

I know exactly what you mean euro and critter. There is no way I'd choose this. Absolutely don't go for something that isn't necessary. We all have to make decisions based on a best guess at what might happen. Will we go through ivf only to be told it might have worked if they'd done icsi. Or go for icsi and then wonder of ivf would have worked anyway. Its all so hard. And the info is not clear at all.

You absolutely haven't upset me, I'm upset anyway because I feel so sad a out being in this situation and doing all the major intervention stuff to get what is so easy for others.

I love you all. The support on this thread is amazing, you're the only ones that totally get it.

this is bloody stressful, there's no way around it. And the worst thing is that noone can promise us a good outcome. I absolutely get that sadness about having to have major intervention for something that should be so simple. I had the same feelings when moving on to IVF, just this really deep sense of sadness about having to go down this route. Unhelpful comments about IVF being 'not natural' (courtesy of my FIL) really fed on my worst fears. But you know what, we're doing our best for ourselves and our future children. We are working so hard to get our babies. And we will get there, and when we do, noone will give a flying f*ck about how the baby arrived. A massive hug to you.