TTC for 10+ months, part 10

[princesschick]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

An dragging myself and my snotty tissues into work today. I'm worrying that the antibs are giving me thrush and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to take canestan. If it is indeed thrush, I'll have to call the clinic, sigh.

Anyway I just wanted to say doll I don't think you should worry about protocols now, whilst you are admist one. I'm sure your dr advised you properly and would have told you to go for SP if he thought it'd give you a better chance. The consultant at create dud tell me that LP is for the clinic's benefit, but remember that their unique selling point is the mild ivf. Also create aren't looking to get loads of eggs, just a few, so I don't know if LP normally gives more eggs? I went to create cos I wanted to use as few drugs as possible, but they are the only clinic I spoke to who would allow me to do SP. One reason I totally discounted my local NHS self funded option was cos they only do EC on Tuesdays! Not just not at weekends but only on one day of the week! But people do still get pregnant from this. Sorry, my ramble probably hasn't helped, but I'm sure you've made the right decision.

mrsd any sign if the witch?? I too wish you were coming to the meet up, as it'd be good to chat more to someone in a similar position (although am hoping you are updiffed)

sar hope you slept better last night.

artemis pleased to hear the acu helped. Am so impressed you are doing the jabs yourself.

((Hugs)) to rabbits

Good luck with the appt lemons

Oh and re box sets, I've treated myself to the latest Gossip Girl for my ivf recovery. It's utter teen drivel, but perfect if you're feeling I'll and wanna look at some pretty clothes (unlike Holly's wedding dress)

Ps soz for all the typos.. My work is gonna be quality today!

Womble is purrfectly clean, clinic very impressed by the quick return of cycle. He thought I was still bleeding from the MC, whereas I did some egg laying.

But I do hate the bedsize manner of the doc I had, his comment was "so we've solved this problem again" that problem was my first ever pregnancy. GRRR.

Sorry 'bout idiot doctor lemon but good news on the womble.

Just popping in again to say thank you gin you are right of course. I'm doing what I'm doing, and that's fine. I read a lot of strong worded stuff prejudiced both towards and against natural and mild IVF. There is tremendous emotional appeal in less drugs particularly in a context were nothing is really "natural". Also my kitchen cabinets are now much cleaner

Critter yep, HPV is rife and the body does usually deal with it. I don't think it's a coincidence that I got my first ever dodgy smear after 6 months of immune suppressing steroids. That's why I refused to have it treated straight away. I want to see if my body can sort it out if I leavemy immune system alone. I haven't had that many partners. But one of them was particularly slutty and hated protection (which I stupidly let him get away with). I suspect he was the source. Frankly, given the risks, I got off lightly with HPV!

nelly hurrah for pretty frocks! And how exciting to be starting IVF soon.

Yes, Create were that blunt about LP, doll. Sorry to have unsettled you. The comment really struck me because of the dreadful reaction I had to the drugs so I was sitting there thinking "I put myself through that so that someone didn't have to work on a weekend???". But I should say my two closest friends downregged and couldn't remember any ill effects. Create obviously has its own agenda (as Gin saedi) and we were essentially listening to a sales pitch with the underlying message "come here and don't go to any of those evil conventional ivf clinics that have higher success rates than us". But it was telling me something I was very ready to hear.

Drizz that's good womble news! Grr @ the idiot dr.

Is Joy's lap today? If so, good luck!

Morning everyone (it still is morning, isn't it? though maybe won't be by the time I get round to posting this )

Popping into the tent with a huge frosted carrot cake for Rabbit (don't worry I didn't make it myself, I went to Betty's ). You certainly should be proud of yourself for getting through yesterday. Hare sounds like he's being brilliant. I need an alternative name for 'Mr A' - I nearly referred to him as that on facebook yesterday which would have caused a great deal of as neither of us has a name or surname beginning with A . Lots of the things you said in your post resonate with me. I don't know how we'd give up either. My imagined limit would be three rounds of IVF but given that I'm not through the first one yet that might change. Even so, I can't imagine using contraception ever again but nor can I imagine the waiting and wondering going on until menopause. I too wish the adoption process were simpler. I don't think we could face all the investigations - both me and Mr A have had mental health problems in the past, his quite severe, and I couldn't face all that, plus our finances and the detail of our relationship getting raked over and interrogated. We haven't discussed it seriously as an option but I think after all we've been through so far, enough might just be enough. But neither you or I are there yet. The counsellor yesterday talked a lot about 'staying in the moment' and not thinking ahead too far so I need to try to practice doing that. More of that later.

Joycep and critter at the Holly dress. I don't normally tolerate Daily Fail snarking but they described it as 'a cross between Barbie and Miss Haversham' which did make me snigger. Reassuring to know that money doesn't buy taste.

Gin bugger about the thrush, hope it doesn't turn into that. Can you beat it into submission with natural yogurt? How would being ill bugger up the cycle - they wouldn't call a halt would they? Hope the germs make a quick exit, it's not a worry you need.

Akuaba I foolishly looked up side effects of buserelin and scrolled down three pages of horror. They don't know the frequency of any of the side effects which made me wonder, why the hell not? how much research have they actually done? After self-diagnosing with at least half the list Mr A gave me a much needed fish slap and banned me from Dr Google. I'm feeling OK today . You are making brunch for 15? are you mad? I am in awe. Though I forget not everyone is as inept in the kitchen as me.

Rabbit I forgot to say I have a daily injection for 2 weeks, then after that two daily injections for as long as it takes to grow some follies - 10 days to 2 weeks I think. I have surprised myself by managing them OK. The needle is so fine it doesn't draw blood and I have only barely visible pinpricks. Remember I am the embarrassing wimp who keels over regularly at blood tests and inoculations. If I can manage it anyone can!

Nelly hurrah for another cycle buddy! Well done on getting through the paperwork. How do you feel?

Medusa at Perseus. Good to see the recent trauma hasn't dimmed your wit

Lemon cake for you too to celebrate the shiny womble and the growing of an egg. Onward and upward. Shame there's another shitty doctor comment to add to the growing 10+ catalogue of 'things medics should not say'. Though our counsellor yesterday said that it's common for consultants and doctors to have poor bedside manner, but they are really really good at science and that's the important thing. I don't think it's beyond human ingenuity to have a go at both but I guess if I think of it like that I'll get less riled by the next heartless comment that comes along.

I'm feeling brighter today, partly because we saw the counsellor last night which was really helpful. She didn't come up with anything mindblowing but it was just the opportunity for both of us to spend an hour talking about this whole situation with someone who knows what it's about and can help manage the conversation that i found really useful. She talked about the mindfulness thing and told me to stop the crystal ball gazing, rather to focus on how I feel day to day. She said to imagine how I would look after a friend who was in this situation and then to look after myself in the same way. She also had some helpful tips for how we can nurture our relationship and look out for each other. I got some insights into Mr A's way of handling it that I hadn't realised before, and I think he understands mine a bit better, so it was all positive. She understood the need to protect myself but helped me find ways of thinking positively about the situation without feeling like I'm building myself up to fail. If any of you have the opportunity for counselling through this process, even if there isn't a specific problem, I would recommend it.

Right, off for a walk while the sun's shining outside

Gin ? poor you. antibs are notorious for causing thrush. 2 hours after taking antibs , you should take some probiotics to help replace the good bacteria that the antis will be destroying. I?ve never tried the yoghurt thing but that?s suppose to help as well. Absolutely that your nhs area would only do EC on a Tuesday. FFS.

Lemon ? i ?m pleased your womble is back to normal. That?s good. don?t get me started on doctors bedside manners....grrr

Art ? i x posted with you yesterday. How is the downregging going? Sorry you are feeling tired. Just seen your new post and I am glad the counselling went well. I think this is the key to coping - living in the moment and not trying to second guess things. I am really agitated today and it's because I went on to fertilty friends and was reading stuff about ivf and came across a story that panicked me. I then believe I am going to run into the same bad luck. Ridiculous. Best to deal with things as they cone and not fearing the future.

Euro - thanks, lap next week.

Rabbit ? how are you doing today?? I hope you managed to sleep ok.

Nelly ? hurrah at being a spring chicken!

joy King's (where I started by cancelled round) was the same - they only do egg collection on one or two days per work. No one seems to have told the scientists women's bodies don't work like that....

my not by. stoopid fat fingers!

Afternoon all,

I'm unable to keep up with the pace at the moment! All good here. Strong nausea still present. I had my first wretch yesterday, although nothing but a bit of spit. I also burped up vitamin taste during the night, which made me wretch. Again no sick, just strange vitamin wretch. I'm finding that the only cure to this nausea is eating. I am getting podgy. Really podgy. I'm only 6 + 4. This does not bode well. Especially if something goes wrong. Oh dear. So, on Saturday, I will be the porky princess in the jeans and massive baggy jumper

For those meeting on Saturday, I've got a 25% of the bill voucher code , so we should save some pennies between us (or just eat more? ). I have been having a sneaky peek at the menu to decide what naughty treat I may have. pizza pizza pizza I allowed myself a cheesy crumpet last night and well, it was a bit like the coconut sorbet a while back (and it was sorbet and not ice cream). A bit Harry meets Sally .... or as we refer to it Princess meets dairy. So if I decide to order a pizza and have a moment, I do apologise in advance

On a much more somber note, Rabbit I was so saddened to hear your news. It does sound like a CP. But if it's any consolation, I'm sure I had at least one the month before my BFP - spotting from CD10, which is bizarre as I never spot, preggo symptoms and then ERTD a day early. I was absolutely convinced. I've also had them in the past. I know I have. I know that I didn't go through the trauma of having to wait a long time like you did and I didn't have a + test to fuel mentalling the month before the BFP. But I feel I know my body rather well now. Mr P suggested that perhaps my body was gearing up and that it was just having a practice run. Maybe this is the same for you? I have every faith in your next few cycles. It doesn't take away from the feeling of triumph and loss. And to have to lecture whilst flooding is horrific. Please have a big, big hug and some . Well done to Hare and I love brave tea. Sending loads and loads and loads more love and cuddles. It will happen. Sooner than you might think. Especially now you have proof of your practice egg :) xxx

Sar massive congrats on your job. That's brilliant. How good are you to go through a lifetime of shit and to come through it with a new job? Also, belated birthday wishes. Hope Mr Sar and your family and friends spoiled you rotten :) How are you feeling at the moment?

Lemons great news on the womble and snap back of your body. Impressive! I'm still sorry that you had to go through it though and I'm at your doctor for you.

Artemis I'm glad that you are finding the injections ok. I still think you deserve a medal for bravery. I'm glad you found the counseling useful. I really wish I had gone to the life coach sooner, although as it turns out, I've only needed 3 sessions and he's now signed me off. The whole being the present is very useful but I find it quite a hard one to live by especially as I am a 'planner' and like to have everything mapped out and every eventuality covered. It's good to have someone point these things out though. I like what your counselor said about doctors and medical stuff. I guess I think about it like those horrible IT people (BTW I have known and met nice IT people) who are geeky, passive aggressive, bitchy and sarcastic but are completely brilliant at fixing computers turning them on and off again And nice people I have met who are completely charming (sales people and financial advisers) usually have excellent bed side manner but limited knowledge. So I guess that's a really good way of looking at arsehole doctors apart from the rude ones that know nothing of course

Doll I don't have much to say, except I think you are brilliant for just getting on with the IVF. But then you seem like one of those people that just deal with life and all it's ups and downs brilliantly. I'm quite actually. Brunch for 15? I think I would do a bucket of scrambled egg and have a DIY toast station and a basket of muffins and pastries. I'm sure yours will be much better than that though!

Gin sorry you are feeling so rough still and that it looks like thrush is on it's way. I've never had thrush (thank the lord for small mercies) but my mum's friends swore by the old tampon dipped in natural yoghurt and didn't Sar have a yoghurt / tea tree remedy? Hope you feel better soon.

Medusa I at your new name for your DH too. Hope you are getting on with your lovely month off well :)

Euro fingers still crossed for your test.

The Holly Valance dress is a heinous crime against wedding dresses! How embarrassing. I couldn't decide whether she looked mauled by a tiger that had ripped the dress into shreds or if she had been dragged through a turkey farm full of angry turkeys with a finale involving barbed wire. (it is a bit feathery in places) WHY? Why did she do that? I think she'll regret the pictures in later years. Or maybe she is just deranged. Or maybe she will have flashbacks of the turkey farm incidence and just shudder? I'm not sure.

Waves and smiles and hugs to everyone. Sorry for not name checking everyone :)

p.s. hahahahahahaha now DH is being pestered by his Dad. I've got over it now. I'm zen. Kiki has been suppressed. DH has regressed to an angry 15 year old. Maybe the house will get finished a bit quicker now I hope so

wow, the Holly dress is pretty yak isn't it? It's like dead swans and doilies.

princess yay for continued greeness and I am sure you most certainly not porky. I think you deserve pizza every day. Don't cravings govern what you eat when you're pregnant?

doll i have been totally let down by attempts to eat in a virtuous way. No alcohol does not make me feel glowy and vibrant. but then, these days I don't drink that much so its not much different. Too much fruit and veg gives me the runs and a belly ache. There is a reason we invented fire, the raw diet just gave me wind. But my diet is markedly different to two years ago I suppose.

artemis I'm glad the counselling was helpful. That is a long time of jabs. But you are doing amazingly.

medusa at perseus.

gin ah boo sucks to thrush, gets me every time on abs. I now get a prescription at the same time. Not that I've taken any in a while (touch wood) Can you get some canesten? I find the tablets excellent but I'm not sure how compatible they are with ttc stuff. As if you need that on your plate. I send chicken broth. Gossip Girl has seen me through the whole womble trauma that was this summer.

lemon great news on the womble, less so on Doctor Tactless. They really do need to go on a course. Or have a dose of their own medicine.

mrsden what is happening in your world?

nelly woo hoo for being in the younger bracket.

Thanks for tent visits and cakes. I am not sitting in the tent today but loitering around it all a bit flat. Best dust myself off and start all over again I reckon but I am distinctly lacking in energy for it really. I popped an aspirin yesterday. Can't harm. I have been having such light periods in my late twenties and thirties post pill decade that this has come as a shock. Yellow tampons are perfectly fine for me and after three days the whole show is winding down, 5 days all gone. What the fuck is this?! Yellow tampons have been wholly insufficient. I often worry about my light periods but try not to given my lining is always thick on scans. but actually, this has been a ballache and I don't want to swap. But, what did the pill do to my periods? I used to be mega heavy as a teen. Did anyone else have this?

Tonight is my turn to cook for Hare. I bought the new Jamie 15 minute book, i might have said. he lies, the last one took me an hour. Tonight is mushroom pasta, you fry up dried and fresh mushrooms in garlic and then blitz them into a sauce. he stirs in cottage cheese at the end. I am neglecting that bit. It isn't even brown pasta. Take that fertility diet. it does have a fancy salad though.

rabbit Still holding your paw, have made yummy afghans to share in the tent

lemon I am glad that everything is ok, its astounding what some of the doctors say

joy I second the yoghurt thing, they taught it at school back home

artemis glad you are feeling better and that you dound the counselling helpful

I'm sure there is lots I have missed out on, I got my latest blood tests results back, my FSH is now 9.2 from 6.7 4 months ago, I just sat and cried in my car. Mr S said he liked women to have an FSH under 8. I don't have a good feeling about tomorrow, I'm not sleeping and constantly stressing about it, I don't really want to go :( I think I have to accept that i'm no good and will have to use DE,

princess I'm not sure about the meet up now, sorry

Woo hoo, finally - I have a mature follicle, I've done my injection, I'll be setting the alarm tomorrow morning for DH to do his bit then I will run off to the clinic with the sample cup under my arm for warmth. I've to keep it at Body temperature apparently, not to warm, not too cold. We've not got many good swimmers on our side either so hopefully I won't do them all in with their trip to the clinic nestled in my armpit. IUI Mark II is tomorrow at 8am.

critterpants thanks for your cheers, they seem to have worked. and thanks artemis, akubadoll, sarlat and joycep for the sympathy and good wishes. testing sounds like a good idea mrsden if only to know what's going on and I hope you will be feeling better soon rabbit so sorry you are so low at the moment.

Good luck everyone.

crosspost buzzy I am really sorry your blood tests are not ideal. you're not no good. you're doing everything you can to get to where you want to be. please don't be down on yourself.

buzzy oh bollocks to him saying under 8. Having had 9.5 a year ago and read the entire interweb on it, under 10.2 is totally fine and gazillions of women conceive with this number. It just goes to show our bodies fluctuate, it doesn't mean it is creeping up super fast. You could go next month and find it is low again. I am so sorry you feel sad and I get so pissed off we are reduced to these little numbers when so many people prob get updiffed with worse and are never any the wiser. Don't get too het up about tomorrow, it will soon be over. Sometimes I just spend so long thinking about the bad stuff that might happen, but all the talk on the thread is true, we need to embrace the moment as you never know what is around the corner, in any walk of life. But god it is so hard. Big hand hold and hug. Come and snuggle in the tent.

Oh and follie cheer freedom!

Joyce - so sorry you are scared of the lap, I don't think it will feel as bad as those horror stories and we ae all hear to hold your hand. Rabbit has some wise words. Words I will need myself - but more of that later.

Doll - goo look with your cycle -how exciting. Thanks for the pat on the back about the job etc - I need to give myself a fish slap about this and start being thankful / glad that I got it. Good luck for your dinner party - 15 people, you sound like a proper Nigella!!!!

Critter - sorry about the email abou the second pregnanct. I really get what you are saying about conflicting feelings between being happy for them but this comes with extra sadness for yourself. However I like your comment about motherhood is just a longer journey for us. Fingers crossed you can start IVF in the timeframe you want.

Buzz - have some big hand squeezes for tomorrow!!! And the Holly Valance dress - wtf?

Heart - thanks for the congrats, I may be following some of your tubal advice too. Hope you are feeling well but also hope that the pregnancy symptoms are starting to creep up a little for reassurance?? It must be a difficult time as you want this so much. I have everything crossed for you for a happy and healthy next 7.5 months.

Artemis - the acu and counselling both sound amazing. I am really impressed that you have gone for the counselling together - sounds like things are going to start feeling better for you both. I am interested to know where you are having your treatment? But you can tell me that on Saturday if you prefer? Oh, and very well done you on the injections. I bet you are a real pro!

Rabbit - Hare sounds like 1 in a million! So glad to hear you have both been looking after yourselves after your shock. But pl;ease do remember all the postive signs. You two have only being on an even playing field for a few months. Orior to the op, you did have a possible cyst / broid which meant implantation was difficult. So I think not it is gone, you are back in with normal chances and your body is just waiting for the one special embryo. I know this is a hard thing to think but in some ways miscarriages are nature's way of helping you in the long run - but I know at this point that is not a massive comfort. Stay strong, we are wll here and admire you so much with what you have been through. Nellie, Artemis and everybody has some wise words for you. Also, did you tell your family about the CP? And mushroomy - garlic pasta sounds well yum!!!

Nellie - I love it! You are a young thing indeed!!!!! You are a fertile lady who has a good chance - bring it on!

Gin - aw, you poor thing, snottyness and thrushyness are not nice. I think box sets for post IVF sound like a good idea. Wishing you speedy recovary.

Lemon - wow at the shiney wamble -so glad the wallpapering is over. What is the plan for you from here?

Princess - hoorah for the burps, nausea and sicky spits. . Glad DH is on with the house - how exciting it will be for you and Prince to move in with Duke or Duchess the bump.

Buzz - deep deep breath. I am no FSH expert but it can't possible drop that much in such a short time can it? Was it on the same day as the last one. But your score still isn't that bad! I'm sure I have googled FSH. But your first question tomorrow is to ask whether is is possible for it to chnage that much. Aw sweetheart, what a horrible stabby shock, but fertility doesn't decline that quickly. Focus on your questions. We are here to handhold!! Update us whn you can.

I will come back later to give an update about my clinic visit today - a bit of a curve ball . Mr Sar has just made me poached eggs - so will be back soon.

Just popping in quickly to offer buzzy some handholding. You will be fine tomorrow. Everyone at create is really nice (well, maybe not all of the receptionists), but I always come back feeling much better. Create deal with a lot of ladies with high fsh/low amh and get good results for them. The scan you are having tomorrow will give you a much better idea if what's going on, looking at the follicle count, blood flow etc. Please, please don't panic, esp on that one stupid test result. See what Geeta says tomorrow. Big hugs.

Snotty waves to everyone else.

Oh and good luck tomorrow free. sar hope the clinic was ok.

I'm back - first of all sorry for the appauling typos and spellings above!!! Doing things in too much of a rush.

Freedom - woohoo for the follie - stick that Dr Misery! Best of luck, very excited for you!!!

Buzz - please don't worry, there will be an answer, Rabbit has wise words, things don't fail that quickly. I really really hope you feel you can come to the meet up. I would love to meet you. .

Ok - so appointment today. Another huge cock up - when we arrived we were seen by the registrar who I deliberatly moved away from. This cock up was despite my numerous phone calls to check who I would be seen by.

But he had a slightly better manor and said he was sorry we found ourselves back at clinic. 3 of us were there again, me, Mr Sar and Mother Sar .

He said the last transfer was awkward which I knew but apparantly so was the first one - Nobody told me this! . He said that I have a tight cervix which I sort of knew and the tranfers were getting harder. The tightness may be due to fibrosis (again one of those things many people have but unless they have fetility isses whould never be aware of because this in itself doesn't prevent natural conception). But also a tilted womb doesn't help and does contribute to the bends and tightness of the cervix. He said the act of the transfer themselves can further narrow the cervix by irritating any scar / fibrosis etc and that the act of putting a cathetar in a cervix such as mine can cause trauma by interfering with the natural wave pattern of the womb. Then when the embryo gets in there it gets spun around like crazy and struggles to implant. (poor little embies). They think this may have happened with me considering I had good embryo's.

I asked about my rash and he said the implantation / transfer process can decrease immunity a little and this is why I may pick up bugs around this time. He wasn't overly convinced I had immune issues as my bloods have shown no immue issues and have had a previous pregnancy.

I mentioned the hydrosalpinx - boak. Don't think it would have been mentioned otherwise. Interestingly he seemed to have forgotten all about this issue. But I was in the mood for tacking this shit head on. I said "I don't believe I have one but I do believe I have prei-tubal adhesions" (endo at the ends of the tubes blocking the entrance etc). He said this was quite possible. I said "why has everyone always focued on me having a hydro when I have never had a PID or chlamydia and even those people that do have those only have an 8% chance of getting a hydro tube?". He agreed that I didn't fit this criteria but couldn't say for sure, either way. He also said there was a little uncertainty on my scans during the stimming phase of IVF that "something was there"(ie hydro). To which I said, "yes could that have been bowel?" - to which he replied "maybe".

This is all so perculiar because during my first cycle he was adament that I did have big hydos and my tubes needed to come out. . He also told me the top consultant would have refused me IVF treatment if she had been sure I had hydros in place and would have forced the surgery route without choice. . This was news to us, we were under the impression, I DID have a hydro and they were only allowing me to do IVF just to see if it might work anyway and appease me. I had no idea that the scary consultant wasn't convinced about the hydro either - that is not what it says in the report. These things have not been explained properly.

I said that I had studied HSG images and read articles and my HSG images did not look like typcal of hydro (I had a good luck at them as soon as I got over the shock of the pain which was unique to my HSG). I also told him that the hydro business has been driving me "INSANE, INSANE, INSANE" and in some ways has been worse than not getting pregnant.

To conclude, they want me to have cervical dilation. With out one, there is some risk the cervix opening may narrow some more and I could be in a situation where they can't get a cathetar in but have a living embryo waiting for me. But again, this is not certain and they will let me proceed to FET straight away if I want. But they think my chances will increase with a dilation.

This involves a general anasthetic and a 12 week waiting list. So I got all ballsy and said, "ok, if I have to have a general - do a lap as well!". Lets look inside once and for all (gulp, gulp, gulp) to blast away any adhesions and assess the tubes etc. I said that they aren't allowed to remove any of my organs, but tidy up only! Please please God they won't find swollen hydro tubes. [gulp and gulp again].

Well done if you followed this. In summary the focus of failed implantation has shifted slightly to poor transfers (hope I am not clutching at straws). I am having a lap and cervix dilation in 12 weeks and then FET (please God assuming no hydo) 6 weeks after that. Phew. I am not worried about the actual operation - I love being on the happy drugs . But I am worried about what they might find . If there is a hydro at that point - well I guess I will have no choice but to accept that. I will read Rabbit's tips on laps.

Thank you for the congrats and good wishes on the new job. I start in Januray - how this fits in with a lap and FET - I have NO idea . But we all know life is never easy, ay? During my interview I had a real, "don't give a shit" attitude . I wasn't openly like this but that is how I felt inside. As a result, I was grilling them at the end and even read out a list of what I prefer to do in a clinical setting at work . I felt I had nothing to lose and they can't hurt me after everything I have gone through - well it seemed to work.

But thank you ladies for the continuing support of Sar's crazy jouney.

Hello to Euro and anyone else I may have missed.

This may be the last time I get to update before the meet up. I am leaving straight after work tomorrow to travel daaarn saaaarth! xxxx

Wow sar I've read that with fascination. As you know I had a very narrow cervix which is now dilated (and feels totally different - like a doughnut as opposed to no noticeable hole - yak) but no mention if fibrosis which I'll need to google in a bit. It is mind boggling that they tell us different things, I've experienced that A LOT. Really want to talk to you about this - north west meet up needed! But if you and me have this and we've stumbled on each other - it must be fairly common.

Yes Rabbit - we DO need to meet up!!! I will contact you next week after the south meet up. I believe us lot were meant to find each other. xxx

First, names. Mini Doll is now poupye, as that's what he would say (French for 'doll' and the crowd shouts, 'obviously, you patronising bitch' ) and Mr Doll is Ken (as in the man doll) Poupye has an akuaba doll originally given to Ken in Rwanda 15 years ago on the telling that he was getting married. It lives in poupye's toy box now part of her head had to be glued back on

freedom extra folly cheer. I think Ken and Mr Freedom are jizzing in a jar at the same time. Now there's a thought. I mentioned to my Dr that he had no SA from Ken "yes" says Dr "good idea to see we are working with" YOU THINK? This was on Monday. Go to the lab, he says and get a pot, bring it back within 30 minutes on whichever day suits (just possible distance-wise). Lab dude says he wants it in 15 mins, goodness well, jizz at the lab then. I told him to inform me of any interesting regional porn situations. Good luck today freedom , wishing you luck.

buzzy so sorry you had a cry about the FSH, take heart in what has been said on the thread and wishing you the very best for today.

Listen sar I'm so impressed by your conversation with the con. I think you did amazingly, I'm going to come back to it in a few hours. Due to the jizzing, I have to get poupye up and to nursery....

Buzzy - i echo Rabbit's words. We are all reduced to just a lot of numbers. I know what it's like to get a horrible number - it's flipping awful but fsh fluctuates every month and it can fluctuate a lot. As I have mentioned before, a woman in a book I read had fsh of over 60 (due to early menopause) and that came down to below 10 and she went on to have a child through ivf.
Good luck today.

Sar - wow. I have read what happened yesterday with interest. I am surprised they haven't mentioned before but interestingly how after the last FET you were worried about the transfer. We can speak about it tomorrow - does fibrosis come on after they start fiddling down there/? A lap does sound like a good idea and then you can really understand what is going on in there. I hope you are ok - and well done on the job again tomorrow.

Princess - well done on getting a zizi discount...I'm all for those !

Euro - with ET being on a few days of the week, it might explain why some places's success rates are so low.

Freedom - well done of the big follie. that's great news.

Rabbit - big hug. You have done amazingly after the last shitty few days. I hope you feel a little bit more yourself everyday.

Waves to everyone else.

doll I'm loving poupye and Ken. :)

sarlat it's bizarre isn't it how drs can focus on completely different things at different visits? I guess we are all a bit complicated and there are no straight answers. It sounds like you got what you needed from that consultation - you go girl!

rabbit I hope you enjoyed brave tea. Hare sounds lovely.

princess I'm glad you are feeling pukey.

buzzy I think FSH can vary quite a lot from test to test. That is why AMH was thought to be a better test (less variation) but I think there is no a debate about that too! In short, they haven't got a scooby doo.

freedom I hope the IUI went well.

to everyone else. I have the day off work, so of course I am up at dawn's crack, before the alarm. How annoying. Why does that always happen? We're off to visit BIL and SIL and MIL later, so will also see little niece and step-nephew. I don't really feel awake enough for a 3 hour drive. I will hit the caffeine in a minute. So sorry I will miss the meet up. As I think I said, MIL picked this weekend to visit (from Ireland) and Mr euro said we would visit BIL then so we get to see her, without checking whether I had plans (and tbh as she doesn't come over that often so I probably would have had to say yes anyway). But I loved the last meet up and wish that I could be at this one.