TTC for 10+ months, part 10

[princesschick]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

rabbit I'm so sorry. Don't apologise for mentalling. It's not public, it's us. We've all done it ourselves, too many times, which is why we feel your agony. Hope you have something nice planned at the weekend

I'm sorry it's been such a crappy month Rabbit take good care.

I'm still trying to grow an egg this cycle to make IUI mark 2 viable. We're at 14mm follicle at day 16 despite stimulation drugs. Doctor uhmmed and ahhed and said - you're very slow aren't you. Come back at the end of the week. Honestly I thought Get Lost. I am not 'slow', this is just my body and if I ovulated a healthy egg every month at your magical day 14 then I wouldn't be here for help would I, you twit.

I'm feeling a bit sensitive this week. He's actually a very nice doctor.

Sorry freedom how insensitive of your doctor - your egg will come.

Thanks frannie

Well I've had a bad night with mega heavy bleeding the likes of which I've not seen since I was 16. This cycle has been very unusual for me and due to this flooding, I'm deducing I have indeed had a chemical pregnancy - I never flood. I feel rather in shock.

I now have to spend the day on a podium public speaking with enthusiasm.

So sorry rabbits. Have you taken ibuprofen? I find that lightens my flow a bit when it's very heavy, and helps with cramps of course. I think it does sound like a cp. but that might be a good sign that everything is meeting, cps are quite common I think. But I know this is no comfort. I don't see why our cycles can't be normal and regular, instead of playing with our heads like this.

Freedom, rah to your insensitive dr. For clever people they can be quite stupid.

Cd36 and still no af. All spotting stopped. Fwiw, I really don't think I'm pregnant, I think I must have ovulated very late. And that means we didn't swi at the right time. I have decided to do a test in fri if it's still not here. The longest cycle I've ever had is 38 days, which I had one not long after starting ttc. I'm worried that I might have formed a big cyst or something and this will hold up ivf.

Ok, so I'll attempt a proper post.....

I'm so jealous of the meet up, I would really love to meet you all.

Cosmos so glad you are feeling better gluten free. Isn't it great when something actually works? I did gluten free years ago just for a couple of weeks when I got heart burn from nowhere. The heart burn disappeared and weirdly didn't return. Frannie based on my experience anyway, it might be worth a shot even if just short term. I found it a bit of a drag, my wheat eating is mainly grabbing a sandwich when running around, rice really helped me out that and being a bit more organised meal-wise.

critter lovely story about your friend's adoption. Even in the States where the systems and attitudes are more friendly to transracial adoption it's true that non-white children get placed less quickly than white children. In the UK many LA are against it so even when there is willingness on the part of adopters placements don't happen (this is changing slowly). It's a complex area but in my opinion this thinking needs to change much faster. Black children spend at least a year extra in care in the UK.

Gin are you feeling any better? I hope there are less snotty tissues.

mrsd on protocols ...so my understanding is that there is a general movement towards short protocols which are more pleasant for patients and may produce better pregnancy rates particularly for older patients, lower ovarian reserve (often related, of course) and (I read once) lower BMI. As I understand it this is due (in part at least) to sensitivity to the long deep suppression of the Long Protocol, meaning (I think) it's possible to go too far, if your ovaries are over-suppressed, the stimulating medications will not work as they should. Short Protocols are more tricky for the clinic to run, the more suppression, the easier to schedule treatments, arguably the more limited the ability to schedule the greater the chance to pregnancy rates being compromised overall. A couple of examples: less predictability can result in too many retrievals in one day or more likely have retrievals to occur on a weekend when many clinics would be less staffed and standards of care can, arguably, be affected. Some doctors still base their treatment around the LP where they continue to see the best pregnancy rates over all. It this related the fact they are the 'easiest' to run? I think the answer must be yes, at least in part.

My doctor uses LP and antagonist (which is a SP). He describes to his patients as follows - LP injections over longer period, slightly higher pregnancy rates, SP injections over a shorter period, slightly lower pregnancy rates. He does more than 70% on LP which is where he is most comfortable. Cases on the antagonist included for him, those who based on his description choose SP, those for whom LP hadn't worked in the past, those who came in when their period have already started and wanted to start on that cycle (yes, really). Mr Doll said afterwards he was starting to get confused about who was the actual doctor as I tried to engage him in discussions (again) regarding individual profiles and protocol choice. The bottom line is that my ovarian reserve is not known (this is rather annoying as he didn't want to do it last time I saw him and now cites as a reason for sticking with the LP) and I have no history of stimulated meds to use as a guide. He doesn't seem to see my age alone as a reason to avoid LP (BMI seems to mean nothing to him in this context).

I realise that this most not sound like the perfect circumstances to be doing IVF but I'm very used to doing a lot of things in less than ideal conditions as a consequence of mine and Mr Doll's professional life and I find I can deal with that. The doctor said I can 'just choose' which protocol I 'want'. I reiterated that everything I have read and understand leads my away from the LP, but at the same time I'm not sure protocol choice can be taking in isolation from the bigger picture. He is most confident that this is the best shot based on his experience, in this clinic, over a long period of time. The most likely outcome is this doesn't work which may or may not indicate changing the protocol. I'm more comfortable with a failure this way than after a 'my choice' version from Google.

Damn, sorry long.

nelly nice work on the illicit shag. When does the flare cycle start? I'm surprised it matters. But then again this is coming from the wild west of IVF where this was never mentioned along with lifestyle being never mentioned, possible side effects of drugs never mentioned, how to inject never mentioned.... I walked out with a piece of paper to take to "any pharmacy" for my down regging drugs. Bought them, still have the paper, which is not dated and can therefore be used to buy as many rounds as I like. It's a doping drug, apparently according to the International Olympic Committee, so I could start a business, right?

buzzyI remember you saying don't rush into anything last week. Yep, brilliant aren't I? princess I think my doctor is the middle eastern cousin of "chill out", this one is "rock up, buy some drugs, no biggy"

euro great news on your health check, I hope the 2 weeks go by quickly for you. Speaking for 2 weeks, you are 2ww cycle-wise, right?

rabbit self indulgent?? Get out. I'm so so sorry love, this was a mental one. Fucking hell, an internet free holiday prevented me from pages on here on my three fat folly cycle. Sorry too about the heavy bleeding. Just get though today the best you can.

artemis well done on the injecting, doing it yourself I take it? (Mr Doll is doing mine)

freedom silly doctor, slow indeed.

mrsd sorry things are still unclear. Thinking of you.

sar rum joy heart and all, sorry I've gone on and on..... x

Rabbit - big big hugs. I agree you have had a chemical pregnancy. That is so sad. It is a loss and you must be kind to yourself. What bad timming with the mammouth lectures today. . I second what others have said about ibuprofen. The little bit of good news is that you two can fertilise the egg and implant - it's just that this bean wasn't able to keep developing - all to common I'm afraid. But it CAN be done and it WILL happen again soon. Just think, maybe a few cycles of prolongued sw until the pee sticks have just one line might be all it takes. You have had some horrible shitty luck but you have also taken a massive leap foraward. Don't they say the first pregnancy is often a miscarrieage (or is that some old eives tale, ). But I don't think it will be long now Rabbit. I don't think you need clomid, do you? Your mum has some wise advice about Dr's not owning our bodies and I shall try to remember that. PS, I'm glad you could update on here during all of this episode, we all need to be in this together.

Mrs Den - I am so sorry for more mentalling. Do you normally find it easy to pinpoint ovulation? I guess this is just one of those random cycles which is longer than it should be. I don't want to fuel your mentalling but there is still a chance of a BFP. But for now distract yourself, go to the pictures tonight or go out visiting, anything but sitting and thinking. Big hugs, I am thinking of you.

Freedom - you Dr is a prat. I do think some follies grow small and then have a spurt. He is being insensative. Good luck with this cycle, eat plenty of protein to boost the follies and some say a hot water bottle on the bely helps.

Buzz - you and I can hold each others hand with scary appointments this week - sorry I seem to have missed what's happened with panic attacks??

I slept badly last night - but nothing new to report other than the brain is spinning with working out how life will pan out with a new job and fertility stuff etc. Somebody asked about my job - it is a promotion with more management responsability. Don't know if this is the right time to take it on, but as we all know too well there is never a right times for these things.

x-post sar doctors don't own our bodies you say. Opps think I gave mine away through choice

I'm sorry you slept badly. You are right though, there is never a right time. In a way the hard work is done, application, interview and taking the job. Good for you, moving forward, it's got to be a good thing.

Dear rabbit I'm so sorry to hear that. I was thinking of you all night (that sounds weird, I know, but I can distinctly remember being in that place that it feels very close to my heart). I believe something did happen with you. I see pregnancy as a series of hurdles, the first and highest, obviously, being conception, then implantation, gestational sac, fetal pole, heart beat and so on) each hurdle disqualifies more of us from the race but the more hurdles you surpass the better your chances get. I believe you surpassed the first hurdle, something happened to throw your cycle off and give you that positive in conjunction with the high temps. The greatest number of MC happen before we can even detect them when conception has occurred but for whatever reason it didn't implant and this really feels like just such a case. Of course I don't know and I don't know if this helps at all but that's how it feels to me. I suppose it's not really worth having it checked out (or is it even possible to do so under these circumstances?)

joyce just wanted to reassure you, I didn't have any pain from the gas either. I was very sleepy from the GA but that was the worst of it.

sarlat congratulations on the job. You've had quite a time lately, treat yourself for your birthday, you really deserve it.

Oh Rabbit I'm sorry the witch is here after so much hope and headfuckery. It does sound like a chem preg which has others have said means you two are capable of fertilising an egg which has to be a good thing? Flooding and public speaking is a horrible combination, hope you get through today OK. Maybe the extended shag week made the difference - you might have cracked it with your pee stick experimentation and you can go into the next cycle armed with new knowledge. but in the meantime, sympathy and hugs.

Sar happy birthday for yesterday and congratulations on the job! You're right, there's never a good time, but as Doll says moving forward is a good thing. Hope you had some lovely birthday treats. Your birthday's exactly a month ahead of mine, albeit several years behind :)

akuaba I appreciate your thoughts on protocols. I'm really interested in people's protocol choices and the advice that is given, mainly because I didn't get any choice in the matter at all. But I agree with you there's a bigger picture. TBH while I'm trying to be positive I am seeing this cycle as a first go, part of the investigation and anticipating there will probably need to be further attempts where I might have more information to argue the case on protocols etc. Yes, I'm doing the injections myself. Good god I wouldn't let Mr A near me with a needle, he'd have far too much fun . They are not bad. The needles are fine ones. The most difficult bit is not drawing a load of air into the syringe along with the fluid. What downregging drug are you on? I've got Buserelin and I can't see it helping athletes' performance, it's wiping me out.

Princess you deserve a special 10+ medal for living with the in-laws. I'd last about three days with mine before wanting to kill either them or myself. Hopefully they will be easier on you when they know the situation. But how exciting - soon you'll have a lovely new house to move into and then a new baby

Euro fingers crossed for the test results. Good to know that otherwise you are a picture of health. You actually made me snort tea (decaff earl grey) out of my nose with your 'That was in my friend's fanny' comment

Gin hurrah for IVF buddies. I go next Friday for a scan to find out how the downregging is going, that's as long as AF shows up in the meantime. So theoretically I could start stimming end of next week. But my cycles have been all over the place lately. Typically when I actually want the witch to show up on time she goes AWOL!

Critter are you still wondering about starting IVF sooner rather than later? Pink wine, mmm. All this being off the alcohol and caffeine has really made me realise how much i enjoy my .

Freedom I'd have been at the doctor too. There is a lot of that language about - kind of implying you personally are lazy or at fault or not trying hard enough about something you have absolutely no control over. I remember mine talking about how I hadn't "managed to conceive" on clomid like it was some failure of effort on my part. They clearly don't get lessons in tact.

MrsD sorry for ongoing AF headfuckery.

Joy offering up pre-op hand-holding. I haven't had a lap but Rabbit's advice sounds really helpful. It is all about getting you closer to your goal.

I saw the acupuncturist yesterday, she was helpful, she sees a lot of women going through IVF and it was useful to know that mega tiredness is one of the main side effects people get from downregging. None of the nurses had mentioned that to me so I thought I was just being a wimp. She used the heat lamp to warm up my arctic womble and I did feel quite relaxed and chilled afterwards.

Waves to everyone. Not feeling terribly motivated today but I had better go and tackle that to-do list...

Hi Artemis at no needles for Mr Artemis. I figured if I've got to have it in me then he could take on the injecting. He is cool with it and being a rock star in general. Last night he got the DVD store to deliver another copy of a DVD I had that didn't work and I really wanted to watch ( critter have you watched 'Girls' on HBO?). This is no mean feat here describing where you live 100 times over because there are no proper addresses. The night before we had sex for fun. Crazy shit. In a perverse way the cycle (right now at least) is good for us. We have a lot of pressure from external stuff outside of our control and this feels like a little thing that we are doing ourselves with some kind of timetable and parameters.

I'm on Decapeptyl which has every side effect known to womenkind according to t'interweb, including hit by a truck and not able to get out of bed. I did find some useful stuff on warming the syringe as it's a stingy one. You do need to knock the air bubbles too. I appear to be on a lower than conventional dose according to a Korean study I just saw, that seems like a good thing. Perhaps Dr "rock up" does know what he is doing.

Oh no Rabbit ...how fucking awful and now the flooding. I am so sorry. It definitely sounds like a cp, you don?t get a positive test and 17 days of high temps as a norm. And you?re right , after this long the stakes are so much higher. I hope once this AF has been and gone , it gives you some hope that this will happen for you naturally now. Spermies and egg have met and next time, it hopefully will be a sticky bean. I still can?t believe how cruel this has been for you, after everything that has happened. But Rabbit it will happen for you. you are getting closer. Also thank you so much for your top tip plan for the lap ? so sweet of you. i?m going to copy and post it into my notes. . And i found your comments very reassuring and a reminder that this is a win win situation.

Sar ? happy birthday for yesterday and a big congratulations on the new job. I look forward to hearing about it. I think it is only to be expected that you aren?t as excited as you should be ? you have a hell of a lot on your plate and as we know this rubbish takes up a lot of thinking time. You are right, there is never a right time for a new job but it does give you something else to focus on in the meantime even though having a baby is all of our priorities right now. I?m sorry you are not sleeping properly ? but it?s the number one sign of tension and anxiety. There is so much to think about and decide and it?s incredible stressful. When is your appointment with this consultant?

Doll - i found your explanation of LP and SP very helpful.

Mrsd ? and now i?m sorry about your wtf cycle. God what is going on. I must say you are more composed than i would be, i would have bought some sticks by now. And do you know about 99% of what we fear never comes true. I read a quote on CNN by some leading woman who said we are not clairvoyants and all the effort we put in trying to figure out what will happen is useless. The future arrives on its own. I?m referring to your fear about a cyst. ...I shall now go away and try and practice what i preach and stop worrying about the horrors i have built up in my mind as to what they may find next week.

Freedom ? what an insensitive thing to say from your doc. It doesn?t matter if they?re nice , they should watch what they say when they are dealing with us delicate long term ttcers.

Critter ? i think you are amazing how you dealt with your friend?s pregnancy. It?s lovely that she is so supportive but you are right you will get there but just on a different path...just like your parents actually. You comment reminded me that i am lucky in many ways....it?s so easy to forget, in fact i need constant reminding.

Euro ? i am glad the medical was fine and hopefully you will get the all clear in a few weeks. Thanks for the tips on the GA> i have a few days off work but am prepared to call in sick if i?m not up to work. Also thanks for the explanation as to how they measure blood flow ? I wish there was a central place for all these tests. it seems one place does something and another place does something else.

Buzzy ? i will have to try and find this Holly Vallance dress....i?m sure it can?t be as awful as my wedding dress...but that?s another story! I hope you will be ok on Friday.

freedom I am cheering on your follie. Mine are slow growers too, yours will get there! sar recommended protein and hot water bottles to me when I was in the same situation.

rabbit I hope you can get through today. As others have said, once AF has gone, something did happen this cycle, and it was a cycle where you were doing things differently - ie, the pee stick gallery and the later swi. That means that it can happen again. I think missm's analogy of hurdles is a really good one.

doll I have seen Girls, yes - the most cringeworthy (and funny) sex scenes ever. I can't believe the writer is only 26! What have I been doing with my life, eh? I found your research on IVF really interesting. I wonder why my clinic does LP - they didn't suggest SP to me at all, which I thought was odd given that I must have a pretty low baseline of hormones to start with as I'm not ovulating. Another thing to email the IVF nurses about! The adoption thing here is interesting - there is much more transracial adoption. I actually asked my friend about that, and whether she'd had any negative feedback on it, and she said that actually, as her baby has biracial heritage (Hispanic and African American) 'everyone thinks she's one of them' and so she gets nothing but lovely, kind comments and warmth from people from every different DC community when she's out and about with her little one. She said it had been really moving.

joy I need constant reminding too. The human brain is a funny thing - I realise more and more, just like in princess's chimp book, how my emotions want to be boss, and I have to exert control over them and try not to be buffeted around by them constantly. The Holly Valance dress is here - you have to scroll down a bit to see a good picture of it.

artemis I am still flitting between the two options, yes. I think that waiting is probably more sensible, as it would mean we'd really given my body a full chance to spring into action and it would have no excuses - but late January seems so far away and the prospect of conceiving before Christmas and an August baby are so tempting, even when I try to shut them out of my mind. I know it's really stupid. I'm driving DH crazy by not making a decision one way or another. You made me with your comment about MrA and needles. Glad that you had a nice acu session - a heat lamp sounds lovely.

mrsd sorry about the prolonged mentalling.

sar really sorry that you slept badly - there's so much going on for you right now. I think it's great that you got the promotion, though. When you do have a baby, it'll be harder to clamber the greasy pole, so good to get it under your belt now. Although I know it may be just one more stressful thing to deal with.

heart and princess hope everything is going well with your little poppyseeds.

Waves to everyone else, and paw squeezes to those in the tent.

Critter the writer is 26? oh I didn't know that. Two girls opened a restaurant near my place in a very tready part of Manhattan, both 23. Bloody hell. I only just came across 'Girls' and got the series on DVD as a little IVF treat. The problem with having the whole series is that I have no self control at all, so more like a few days of downregging treat perhaps I have answered my own question about why I haven't opened any restaurants or written stuff for HBO, too busy sitting on my arse watching TV

I guess your clinic/doctor only uses SP in particular cases and they don't consider you one so they are not bothering you with it. I think its worth asking about though, just so you know. Even my doctor conceded that that SPs were becoming more common place and would continue to become more so over time.

As to your friends experience in DC, I second that from my experience in NYC, where little Doll (who is black) was a baby. Also in NYC you can be green and have a kid with purple feathers and it's not turning heads, the middle east mixed families just blow people's minds and it does drive me a bit crazy dealing with it.

Doll/critter I caught one episode of Girls on my plane over to the US. Unfortunately it was the one where one of them has a dodgy smear and positive HPV test result, so didn't really help take my mind off things.... I liked the writing though. Hopefully one of the freeview stations here will pick it up soon.

At Create they were saying that long protocol is really done for the convenience of clinics, particularly ones that do not open at the weekends so cannot risk anyone needing egg collection then. I had my suspicions before that this was the reason, but now i am all the more horrified at what I suffered just so someone didn't have to work the weekend. (And I say that as someone who does have to work weekends when needed!)

The Holly Valance dress is awful on her.

Rabbit it does sound like something happened for you this month. Hopefully it is a sign that your body is getting the hang of what it needs to do!

I don't have time for a full name check now, so

I'm still feeling shitty, so just a quick post from me.

rabbits I'm so so sorry that this month hasn't amounted to anything. But as everyone else has said, it sounds like something did happen, although I know that's not much comfort at the mo. I hope you got through the day ok.

sar happy birthday and congrats on the new job, that's amazeballs. Just shows what you can achieve, even when going through really tough times.

I'm pleased to hear the appointment went well euro and have everything crossed for the results.

Snotty waves to everyone else. I'm worried that being sick is gonna much up my next cycle, but hopefully the stims will overcome anything like that.

Anyway, back to watching the rather lovely men in the Vampire Diaries, my sick tv viewing choice.

Evening all. Well I am in bed with a it water bottle. My period is just like a normal one now bt it has been exceptionally painful. My job sucks at times like these but I feel proud to have got through the day.

mrsden I really hope you get a more satisfactory ending to mental month than I did and that you are holding up ok.

euro it's a funny one. I've always doubted I would know if something happened but with two years of charts etc, the dubious stick and bleeding I am leaning towards that there was an implantation failure. In one way it feels useful it has also unearthed fears of immune probs and egg/embryo quality that I've shoved underground. I'm shocked the lp is used to suit clinics working patterns, really shocked. I sometimes work Saturdays and so should they - patients pay enough effing money!

sar how is the job news settling in? Thanks for the nice words.

artemis I'm in full admiration of your injecting skills I really am. I find that notion really quite worrisome. How long do you have to do it for?

doll I've found your posts and knowledge really helpful. I have turned a blind eye on all things ivf and such like but it's time I found out facts. I am in that kind of mood. I hope you feel ok on the drugs? I too wish I could be at the meet up. Maybe one day we will meet, I do hope so. I love how you could challenge your doc. My doc is a "babies are a magical thing - ivf probably won't work but you will most likely conceive anyway eventually" man.

critter that urgency is a pain isn't it. It used to grab me very hard, now less so but it still hits from time to time. It gave me a right kick today.

missm thank you for the hurdles, I found that very comforting and your post was v thoughtful. Those past 4 days have been poo and torturously long. It has made me feel even more empathy for your ordeal, and you lemon what a hard thing to have gone through. That goes to all ladies on here who have had losses. This felt shit, I can't begin to imagine how traumatic it must be in properly established pregnancies.

joyce it will all be over soon. I will then award you with your lap medal of honour, which is primary school retro, made of pasta spray painted gold and copious amounts of glitter.

As soon as was feasibly possible, I came home today and got directly into a hot shower and then bed. I am still there with a bg fat glass of wine and some pretzels. I'm sick of calling mr rabbit mr rabbit - besh ladies you were onto something with the initials. Maybe we need pseudonyms too. As I'm rabbit I'm going to call him Hare. Which is pretty bad really as I'm not sure they would mate, but anyway, i digress. The night before my lap Hare made me chicken schnitzel and we named it brave tea. I had it before the big op and I'm being made it tonight. He is a real trooper.

I have been a bit of a mess today. Someone at work asked if I was ok and I said no and walked away before I cried. Oh dear. On days like these my thoughts leap around from nk cells, to failed ivf, to adoption issues and back again. This ongoing roller coaster of ov, shagging, waiting, mentalling is so very draining isn't it? I just want it to end. The End, new book please. But that may never happen. Now the hell do people give up? Do they really? I'd need to use contraception to really never have the hope and crushing every month. I would love adoption to be a more straightforward process here and to think I could adopt a baby. I seriously worry that my history of anorexia will totally fuck up my chances and dread the thought of raking over it in detail, and them contacting my ex who was an abusive fuck and would love the fact I am a barren.

But this is just today. Cd1 is so horrible. If it s just the bad news I'd be fine, it's the bad news, the hormone crash, the cramps, bleeding (blood phobic) and tiredness as I never sleep well on the run up. Tomorrow is new. This month there will be a new stick gallery of stripeyness, later swi and aspirin. And a douche! Woo hoo!

Loves to you all. Please bring me cake to the tent and feather dry shampoo.

Cross post gin do get better soon. Oh and I thought it was interesting that this month I had a shitty cold all over the tww which people say is good dot they? How do I get another?

rabbit I wish I could give you a cuddle. What a horrible few days you've had. I genuinely think that this awful experience is progress, though. It really sounds like you conceived this cycle, and if you can do it once, you can do it again. There could be any number of random reasons why it didn't implant, but you've got over this hurdle and you will get over the next one. Keep the faith. You will get there. I also think the hormone crash, and the physical aspects, are making this even worse. Big hug. Hare sounds wonderful, and it's fantastic that you have a lovely husband who is caring for you and stroking your fur (metaphorically speaking of course).

gin sorry you're under the weather. I've never watched Vampire Diaries - is it any good?

euro and doll thanks for the advice on the LP/SP debate. Good to have the full amount of information!

doll purple with green feathers - that is a great image of New Yorkers' 'anything goes' attitude, and how interesting that your experience matches my friend's. I can imagine that it must be very different in the Middle East - I bet that is frustrating at times. On the TV - I have no self control either, and tend to gorge on watching television series shows back to back, so I have to be careful not to start watching some things before I get totally obsessed and sucked in.

euro I remember that episode. I was told I had HPV too, actually, several years ago - in spite of only having had a couple of partners, neither of whom were particularly experienced. I reckon it's rife. Doesn't your body normally deal with it within a few years? That's what my GP told me.

oh Rabbit it is so draining. The endless cycles and then wondering whether there is something else going on. It's enough to send anyone in to a head spin and it's totally exhausting. Hopefully in the next few days you will begin to feel yourself. Hare sounds lovely and obviously looks after you well. Massive hug . And can't wait for Rabbit's lap of honour.

Gin - i'm really sorry that you are still so ill. that totally sucks. i hope you get better soon.

Critter - a bit at that dress. Her husband is a billionaire surely she could have done better!
The adoption process in this country seems to be appalling. I noticed that Michael Gove is trying to sort this out - speed it up, intervening quicker, trans racial adopting and I don't think people who adopt get the same maternity rights as everyone. Will be interesting to see if he succeeds.
Do you know if Brits can adopt from the US?

MrJ is home - will post later.

Late post (just in from trying on the mock-up of my frock. It's just like Holly's ) to say massive massive Dislikes for AF Rabbit. That us quite frankly shit. . I'm so sorry. Yet heartened by the fact that this is progress. I know it's small comfort that it ended this way. But I'm convinced Hare met Rabbit. Most people probably never know about CPs but I reckon you've just experienced something that is "normal" for the fertiles out there. Soon it'll be a sticky one. Much luffs.

MrsD fingers crossed for you now .

Had our IVF consent appointment. All good. Was told for the first time since TTC that I wasn't old enough to consider 3 embies. Huzzah for being young . Any way my pill starts next Friday and needles on 9th Nov.

Will try to post tomorrow.

That looks like I don't like my dress. Couldn't be further from the truth, it's going to be amazing .

Like you rabbit I'm shocked to the core at the LP designed so clinics have to bugger all at weekends. Were Create really this blunt euro ? I've been up in the night looking at their website, it's the first time I feel a bit phased by the whole thing. Ironic actually, as I spent 4 years working at a job which included weekends and night shifts and sitting here has brought that all back. Cycle scheduling exists in all conventional IVF and there is a medical literature on if and how weekend retrievals can be detrimental and planned distribution of workload. My doctor, for what it's worth, said he can't guarantee a weekday retrieval on any protocol but the LP makes it the most likely, which he considers better. Of course he would not couch it in terms of having the weekend off. I guess it depends on what spin you put on it but, if conventional IVF is designed purely so clinic staff don't have to work on the weekend, then we are being royally screwed. Perhaps I'm over sensitive due to the hour. Staff at my old job were always finding articles that indicated how bad shift work was for your health and pinning them on a wall so we could direct our shift- addled brains towards something else to complain about. Of course fertility was always mentioned.

rabbit I too have been turning a blind eye to all things IVF until very recently, having always 'known' that it was not for me. The feeling that the IVF talk, even on this thread, was not of direct concern to me is very fresh in my memory. I so hope you won't need it, and I don't think you will. Yes, thank you rabbit I feel okay on the drugs for now. I don't feel the picture of health I would hope for with all this clean living bullshit even before the damn drugs. Like you artemis I'm not really seeing the obvious advantages of a teetotal lifestyle. It's pants.

Only one episode of 'Girls' left. What should I get now? I've not heard of 'Downton Abbey' apart from on this thread, just checked my DVD store website and it doesn't look like they have it. I'm going to the cinema tonight, for the first time ever living here. It's the date night thing 'dinner and a movie', moved from Friday night due to lack of babysitter. Bummer because the Friday night idea was carefully crafted around avoiding messing up my kitchen in advance of the brunch (god, god how I hate that word) I'm hosting on Saturday. In a rash act directly following my doctor's appointment on Monday I sent an email invitation. I'm up to 15 adults, shit, that's alot of food right. Idiot.

Many waves to all.

doll Downton Abbey is really good. I highly recommend it if you can get your hands on it. I've now seen the sad episode and it did make me cry, I was a bit more prepared for it from reading this thread so it didn't come as such a shock.

rabbit great idea on the nicknames for DH. I think I shall call mine Perseus because he is forced to (s)lay me regularly.

Just popping in to give rabbit a massive hug. That is SHIT. But I like Hare, both his new name and his brave tea.

The mind boggles with all the SP vs LP discussions and choices. Keeping stuff crossed for all those going through it at the moment. Really hope it will bring the babies you so deserve!

Sorry about the wtf cycle mrsd.

Don't worry too much about the lap, joycep. Trust rabbits advice (and don't forget I did get diffed the cycle after, even though they only looked).

Well done on the job and belated happy birthday to sar.

Much love to all, diffed, undiffed, here or lurking! I have my (hopefully) final check up post-MC to see whether it is indeed and eventually all gone. I can report the AF after MC can be quite heavy too. And it doesn't feel like it is nearly over, which it should be since I am on cd5. Curious to see the ovaries again, I guess they must have woken up by now...