Just Shagging - The lazy TTCers heaven, this is Shaggers Corner, Part 11

[Kittenkatzen]

(sorry I know that's awful but seriously, can you think of anything else that rhymes with "eleven"?!)

Ladies, leave your OPKs at the door, and settle in for part 11 of JSing!

Fred rules;

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and [tea] with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.
Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.
Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).
Viroid = This is you, dear poster. The reason for this is a closely guarded secret, known only to....er....well, nobody as far as we can tell!
POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit).
Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.
Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

The link to Part 10 is here.

The link to the latest grads thread is here.

So don those shag capes, we have standards to maintain - Part 10 saw an amazing 9 BFPs, including one set of twins! So - what are you still doing here? GET SHAGGING!!

:o

So sorry Rock, condolences to you and yours.

frog everyone symptom spots! Hope you had successful DH jumping!

Bear how awful to have such a long ERTD, bollocks to that!

Horse love your DH-baiting leaving inappropriate stuff around! My MIL would end up picking it up and going "what's this? Eh?" very loudly and humiliatingly!

Boy you must must not feel like a failure! All this shagging to order is completely bizarre really so no wonder it gets difficult! When DP and I started we had a chat and discussed what we thought would help keep things 'normal', so here are my not endorsed by anyone at all but did result in an early upduffing tips:

• Don't mention the babymaking aspect at all before or during the shagging
• Never apply time pressure - instead try to think up ways to hurry things along - for us that is usually dirty talk or a change of position
• Try to make it fun for both of you so it's not just him under pressure to get over the finish line
• Ignore the stuff about saliva killing sperm as that's no fun!
• Stop watching telly. We live in a country with rubbish telly and I think it makes all the difference
• Find ways to have 'tired shagging' - spooning or him on top may be good for this - it doesn't have to be too much of a drain on your energy!
• Linked to the point above, don't let tiredness get in the way unless you are actually falling asleep. Sleepy shagging can be lovely
• Use all this as an opportunity to try some new things that maybe you've thought about but not had the courage or whatever - it will be most welcome to keep things interesting
• The internet is your friend, and I am not talking about MumsNet here
• Sending dirty texts or emails during the day can mean you're not just switched off all day at work then suddenly expected to get going besides it is more fun than reading work emails

I have no idea if any of that helps, perhaps others can add theirs, would be good to get some more tips as I and DP head into another week of the wtf cycle!

Rockchick I am very sorry to hear about your friend. Hope you are ok. thanks for the tip

Horse we are going on holiday soon and MIL will defo be in the house snooping while we are away. Defo going to take your advice and leave the sex toys out! Might stop her and scare her off. Wouldn't want her to see the folic acid. If she knew we were trying the helpful hints and useless items would come flooding our way all too fast! Dreading telling her if we ever do get up duffed.

Another tip to add to your lovely long list there hooya is we find JSing in the morning is best. We both have energy and he is already half way there on the readyness [hblush]. Hope things get better boy and waves!

Found myself agreeing with all of those things hooya, was just thinking about texting DP and saying 'we need to get on it tonight' but now I'm not sure this is a good idea. Shoul I word this differently? Someone draft it for me!!

frogchops why don't you try "remember that time we ...... and it was soo good, fancy doing trying that again tonight?" [hgrin] "we need to" is maybe a little blunt...

Oh yy agree with everyone feeling the pressure of having to perform to order. That was us yesterday morning - neither of us fancied it much but we both felt like we had to, so it ended up not being much fun at all really. Not sexy. Defo agree with everything hooya said, and in fact you may have prompted me to suggest some online fun tonight actually, it's been a while...

frog good on you for wanting to isntigate with a text! Maybe try something a bit softer/sexier - unless you think he'd respond well to a command like that?! I quite often find that dropping jokey hints helps get the point across without being too cringe-worthy...

Hmmm yes. He is a man.... So sometimes he needs things spelling out. Lol
But don't wana be too 'I liked this/I like that.... When its not normally me. I'm thinking more along the lines of being more blunt, but don't know how to do it without pressure. :-/

What fantastic tips! Shall most definitely bear all that in mind. Hoping to get a bit JSing lucky tonight. Most hellish day at work EVER and have basically texted DH to let him know that I am so unbelievably stressed that there is only one way to get me back to being myself. And his response suggests that he is more than keen on that idea.

Here's hoping

Ohh maybe I've had a really stressful day at work?? Maybe?? Just maybe? ;)) but not sure he'd get the message from that!!

Ok so I sent it.... And yes I have ha a crap day....lol
This is big for me because I just don't do this... And guess what.
He said he has a headache and doesn't feel like it. Oh well. You live and learn. :-(

rockchick, so sorry to hear about your friend

Boy - that's too bad. I have to say that DP hasn't a clue about my cycle (for him either ERTD is here...or it's not) and I'd like to keep it that way because if he doesn't know then he's not under pressure to perform. He knows we're TTC (I can't believe I just wrote that - of course he knows!) but is happy just to get on with JS. I have a little more idea, obviously, but no calendars or calculators (I never even know what CD I'm on, and again, for now at least I want to keep it like that). When I suspect I'm ovulating I get a little more persuasive about going to bed early...he has yet to object

Oh frogchops that makes me feel all bad for you....men are such a pain sometimes, huh? (but useful for TTC )

I've had a rubbish day too. But am valiantly going to instigate without pressurising tonight lol. Trouble is I'm not a v good actress...

I just don't know wht to feel anymore. Having got over the anxiousness of thinking I was in this on my own and then investigating everything tht comes with TTC on my own and having to pass it on to him not knowing if he's on board risking our relationship in the process, together with coming off the pill and going through wat I'm guessing is the hell that goes with it is really taking its toll. I feel like absolute crap, so sick, achy and tired, but put this to one side thinking that I must be able to practice what I preach and Dtd! To then go and act completely out of my comfort zone, suggesting to DP that we Dtd (not even mentioning dates or baby's) as he said he would quite like this if I did.... And get an 'I don't want to' response.
I actually feel like an emotional wreck, and quite honestly don't know if his is all worth it :-(

Oh Frog, I really feel for you. [hsad] It seems like you're doing your absolute best to sort everything on your own. I don't really have any words of wisdom TBH, but just lending a shoulder for you. I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end, but I think you need DP's support. I think you should talk to him.

The problem is frog are you 100% sure he wants this? & might you wreck your relationship if not by pushing him into it? Just worrying as someone who went through all that with ExP and ended up a single mummy until lovely DH came along...

You shouldn't have to feel so alone about it all Hun. Talk to him directly & state how you feel maybe? X

Sorry to hear that Frog
I agree with BoyMeetsWorld think you and DP need to sit down and talk through having a baby. There may be a reason he doesn't seem to be as enthusiastic. Could be scared or worried about something. Best to chat now. Wouldn't want my DH to say he felt pressured into having a baby or something. Hope all goes well xx

Frog would second all the advice about having a chat (over a nice dinner and a glass of I think). There could be a couple of reasons:

1. He is not 100% convinced about babymaking
2. He has some work or other stress going on which is interfering with his ability to relax

Either way talking about it should help resolve things and at least give you some more info on where you stand.

Separately awesome job for initiating - ok it didn't work this time but now you know you can and the worst that happens is no shagging, which would have happened anyway! You should feel very proud of how you are taking hold of this situation and trying to sort things out

Thanks for the advice, I think I know what will come out if a talk about it tho, it will involve me crying (which seems to be an effect of coming off the pill, cos I'm an emotional wreck!!) and it will involve him saying'if it happens, it happens' like I've said before, he's not big on admitting were 'trying'. I'm happy with this, I think, hence why I joined jsing! I think I might let this one slip by, as maybe he does feel crap, and maybe he has had a crap day too. It's only the first time I've tried to initiate this and yes you'd think he'd recognise this, but hey I can't force it! If it starts to become a reoccurrence I might take issue, but for now, there's always tomorrow. :-/

Hi all, sorry I disappeared, had a lot going on then my ERTD appeared 6 weeks late.

So I'm glad to say that I now know how long my cycle is (ish) and I think I know when ovulation is so hopefully we can get on with JSing and get a BFP

Frog....my DH wasn't 'trying' when we first started TTC. He thought the same as your DP.

Then his brother announced his wife's pregnancy and he went gung ho. And we fell the first month of the new attitude!

Fx your DP gets a similar boost.

frog my DH was a bit like that to start with but soon came round. He loves JSing now. Not sure what changed him though.... Just showing support. Hope you are ok.

Could do with a Hooya already over here! Symptom spotting! Feel sicky, have done since puked up a little in mouth at exercise class on Sunday [hshock] and have strange taste in mouth. Also have cramping and light headed. Only just started ttc and ertd not due for another week and a half (I think - never realy kept track of cycle). Someone slap me! [hgrin]

Frog, you might find that your DH is like mine. He was totally unintereseted at first, assuming that our usual once a week shag would be enough to get us upduffed. The uninterested stuff wasn't that he didn't want a baby, it was just that he didn't see any reason for JSing when he didn't really want to. A few months down the line (actually 6) he is actually initiating things more of the time, we are having lots more sex and we have found that half asleep sleepy sex first thing in the morning for him, even if it is 6am, is much preferable to sex on a school night, and much less effort. Don't lose hope! I was going bonkers before (in my head!) at him, and probably will again, and it hasn't got us a BFP yet, but at least we are now in with a chance! Good luck, hope you are ok

Hi everyone Just thought you might like to know that Muse are live in concert on Radio 2 this evening at 8pm, so we can all stand around our radios/computers to see if the fertility god theory really works! x

I tried to get tickets for that concert but failed I will be making sure to stand Chris side of the radio but not convinced as to how effective that will be....!

frog sorry your dh was a grumpy pants, any improvement in JSing mood today?

I think I'm 2dpo today - anyone else in the 2ww with me?

I must have missed the fertility god theory.....

Frog just lending you a shoulder to lean/cry on (damn post-pill hormones)

I can report that after failing to make a deposit last night (psycho cat in our room issues) or this morning (DD decided to burst into our room which completely killed the mood), I had another crap morning at work so DH took me home and we got some JSing in, with (finally for DH, bless him) a result. Let's hope those swimmers appreciate our his efforts and get on with their work! Hoping for a minimum of EOD for as long as we can manage in the meantime

Waves...Chris the bassist (AKA Wolstenbeast) has 6 kids. He has. fertility god status amongst Muse fans.

If you look at the photos on my profile, there is a photo my DH took at the gig on 30.09 and immediately tweeted saying he had seen Chris' impregnation rays in action.

Meanwhile, I'm standing next to my DH with sperm meeting egg. Our story is conception took place at the Muse gig thanks to Chris! It's an ace story :-)