TTC for 10+ months, part 9

[akuabadoll]

Ladies, number 9. The lucky one.

lemon thinking of you big hugs x

nelly could it be implantation planting?? It is frustrating trying to organise things, I've told Mr B we need to get a shifty on as I don't want to be doing it the month of December

waves to everyone else

Just popping on to say hello. Not much to report at my end but wanted to let lemons know that I am thinking of you and wishing every good thing for you. Massive love to you.

nelly I am sorry that you won't be starting IVF as soon as you would like. I must admit I am totally in the dark as to how it all works beyond the very basics.

cosmos I approve of the name change! My sister was obsessed with the Carebears and I hate that bloody theme tune with a passion!

critter I am glad that injecting is okay. I love the interweb!

Am 3DPO or thereabouts and nothing significant going on except the odd twinge which is normal for me. I feel amazingly zen right now about this cycle and it feels good. Have instructed MrP to purchase the learn to crochet magazine for me so I can sit in my zoned out state and crochet dog blankets. It's all go here.

buzzy of course that's what I'm hoping (I feel distinctly odd but it's definitely not just the huge portion of macaroni and chips I had for lunch). I'm trying to visualise a little bean a la woo lady, but I keep reverting to the old negativity. Who knows .

Love the new name cosmos

pout I wish I didn't know so much . When I tell my NHS story later I'll re-iterate this point.

critter well done on the jabs. I have consciously ignored this part .

pout I looked at getting that magazine, youtube is great if you get stuck and I also bought some wool off ebay :) Maybe a crochet hook behind the ear is how I'll recognise you at the meet up

critter I was going to message you about doing you injections but thought you might think I was interfering, glad it went well

How are you feeling buzzy ? Is work less stressful?
I have always wanted to learn to knit but it seemed complicated. The advert for the crochet thing made it look easy My grandma used to be a great seamstress/knitter and used to crochet amazing baby blankets for the family. As much as I would like to think that I could make a baby blanket I will stick to the idea of making them for the dogs!

nelly I know what you mean about negativity being the overriding emotion. My consultant told me to be positive but I find self protection takes over and part of that is not daring to hope. I was thinking today in fact how I don't expect a natural BFP. One because of all the failed cycles before setting the precedent but also given the fact that the last cycle was so ripe for success what with the 3 follies and sky high progesterone and nothing happened. I am pretty despondent that after 31 cycles of TTC I will spontaneously conceive

pout I studied fashion and textile design yes I sometimes wonder how I ended up working for the NHS. My mum taught me to knit and embroider but not crochet. I already have knitted 2 baby blankets, endless booties and hats :( I just don't have the baby. I think knitting is easier but that is because I don't crochet correctly. As we both live in faux Surrey we could start a stitch and bitch club :)
Work is the same, I think I'll go to Occ Health and see what they say about time off for medical appointments, they have been supportive so far but thats no guarantee they will continue, my migraine has come back
It is hard to think positive after so long I need to protect myself from reality

Sorry you are poorly again with a migraine. Do you take meds? I would be lost without my Rizatriptan. Have you tried drinking Cocoa Cola and two aspirin? I read on here a while back that very black toast kills a migraine too. Much love & hope you feel better.

at stitch and bitch.

Just thought, probably not supposed ti take meds when TTC.....sorry for suggesting. I tend to think fuck it....bad smiley

pout I take imigran I was told it was ok to take until pregnant, I had too many this week though

buzzy of course I wouldn't think you were interfering! You are a sweetheart to think of me. Thank you! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with a migraine on top of everything else. Did you and MrB get any further in your thoughts about going abroad for treatment?

nelly I have heard of BCP being prescribed before downregging to 'settle things down'... but don't know much more about it. How did the NHS appointment go?

pout so sorry that you're feeling blue. I totally get the self-protection thing. It must be crap to have one's hopes dashed month after month. In a way I have been saved from that by the fact that I don't have cycles - I think I'd find things harder if I had to have 2ww after 2ww.

Love the talk of crochet, I once tried to knit MrCritter a beanie hat - I must have got the measurements off, because it turned out to be absolutely enormous, like a giant rasta hat. He put it on and went about saying 'Peace, mon'.

Tail feather waves to everyone feeling sad. princess, 'blood work' is just the American way of saying a blood test. Gawd I really am going native with all the lingo. Gah!

Critter at the crochet hat

Doll I love that you imagine I have hidden depths. No sadly it was not intended as ironical. I think I must have joined a thread with a Mylittlepony and a Cindy and thought it was the done thing. Wonder where they are now, probably playing with said toys with their eight children, not that I'm bitter

Pout I know what you mean about the self protection bit. And very impressed you have knitted baby things.

critter at your beanie, Mr B has been busy applying for jobs but hopefully we will talk a bit about it in the next week, which also happens to shag week he does seem ok about it, I just want to get on with it for November if possible

Doll sorry meant to add thats very irritating re the work IVF protocol clash. Is there no way round either one? Is there choice of clinics out there?

Buzzy best of luck to yr DH with job hunt. Is he in a field where its likely to yey another soon?

Pout, the dogs trust FB page has a request for knitted or crocheted (crochet'd?) dog rugs. Though I think the dog parlance is coat, but it's a rug in Hobble world .

Critter it was useful. I'll post when I slump in front of my computer later. First I'm going to test out my mums steam cleaner I borrowed and see if I can clean everything at once

cosmos he was made redundant 3 years ago and has only been able to get contract work since, the country is back in recession so I'm not sure if our future is still here in the UK. Its not really the time to use some of our savings for IVF.

buzzy hope MrB finds something, my OH has been out of work for 4 years now. He has done contract work on and off but it's not easy out there. We've also talked about bailing and going elsewhere but we wanted to wait till the kid was old enough

critter love the rasta hat. I'm impressed with anyone that can sew/knit/crochet. I can barely manage to get a button back on without creating a thread birds nest.

cosmos like the new name

So I'm now on day 10 of spotting and getting pretty fed up. It's not getting heavier or lighter and there's no other signs of AF or PG for that matter. I plan on waiting another week before either POAS or going to Dr.
Work has been a bit poo this week so really glad it's Friday and looking forward to a a bit of time in the sun if it stays with us.

welcome sea and doop, waves to everyone else

So, ummm, something happened here. I'm not sure what exactly and I'm so, so scared so please no congratulations but I got 2 VERY faint positives this morning. The reasons I really don't believe it is that both could be evap lines but they're pretty rare aren't they? 2 with the same urine? (They are the internet cheapies.) Also, I'm 19 dpo, shouldn't I get much more than a faint line?

I took a test last week which was negative but I was so sure it was going to be negative I threw it away before really looking and didn't wait the whole 5 mins. so maybe . . . anyway, the next reason I'm not convinced is that my temperatures have been low, jumping just above and below the cover line. This morning, I finally had a slightly higher temperature which was the reason I convinced myself I could test (have been forcing myself not to because it always ruins the whole day). Every pregnancy chart I look at shows a marked raise in temperature, nothing like my chart. I am on CD 41 which is very, very late, that does give me a little hope as I've never been that late before but . . .

I have had faint but constant pain on my left side for 5 days or so, similar but slightly more intense than my usual ovulation pain. The fact that it is lateralised on the left is a bit worrying re ectopic pregnancies. I was pretty sure it was a cyst but now with the B(way too fucking)FPs now I'm not so sure.

I have never had a BFP of any kind before so the mentalling is at an all time high today but I really needed to get this out (thank you ladies). I'll be continuing to test as soon as I can pee again so I'll keep you posted and either way I am going to contact my gvno on Monday as regardless of what the cause is the pain and the long cycle need to be checked out.

Is it naive that at this point, especially as we have male factor infertility, that I would take even an ectopic pregnancy over nothing? Maybe I would feel differently if I had it confirmed but any sort of sign that the swimmers are swimming at all seems such a huge step over months of nothing.

OK, managed to squeeze out a few more drops and the third test is still faint but there is a definite second pink line there. I think I can start accepting that while some of the other elements are questionable and I don't dare to hope for a viable pregnancy at this point, conception, in some form has occurred. I'm going to have a good, happy cry now.

missm exciting! Buy a different kind of test and try again, if still not sure your doctor will be able to confirm with a blood test.

lemon thinking of you and hoping for a miracle xxx

cosmos love the name; although I thought carebear was more retro kitsch than shmalzy :-)

Buzzy sorry about the migraines and good luck for Mr B with the job / contract hunting. :)

nelly how did you get on with your steam cleaning? I think we're going to get one for the new house. Is your mums one just a mop or an all in one. Sorry about all the rubbish timings with everything. How frustrating.

buzzy and pout well I am impressed with your crochet habits. I am of the barely sew a button brigade!!

critter well done on getting that first injection in.

coco sorry about the spotting, that's not nice at all.

Well I am currently tucked up in a massive bed in the Ritz big family do up in town last night, which was fun. My little 8 yo cousin got really annoyed with one of the guests who was really drunk and kept teasing him, so he hid her purse and kicked her, twice. He was really indignant about the whole thing and really annoyed. When we got back to the room I told DH that I had always found her annoying and would like to
hide her purse and kick her twice too ah to be 8 again

Well I saw my life coach for my 2 hr sesh yesterday. Easily the best thing I have ever done. I am putting place a whole new mindset, have an arsenal of coping techniques and exercises that I need to practice. I was also put into deep relaxation / hypnotised and thought I had been 'under' for 5 mins and was really shocked when he told me it had been half an hour. I was a bit sleepy and grouchy at the end of the night last night but I coped and wasn't bothered by all the baby comments made to us last night. I think I've found the thing that works for me. I just need to think of my new purpose in life (maybe just a temporary one whilst I figure out a bigger more meaningful one) and I think I'll be rid if the anxiety. Hopefully for good

Waves and love to you all, have a great weekend, we're off to perve posh kitchens today :)

missm am I allowed to congratulate you now?! Massively late period and 3 BFPs all sound like good signs to me... I had an evap line once and it was there, then disappeared- yours sound like the real thing! Was it you who'd been to Niagra and whose other half was on tamoxifen? < books flight, throws drugs at mr gin >. I am so thrilled for you and hope that the pain is just things settling in. And yay, the first of our predicted autumn bfps.

lemons I'm thinking of you and hope you are ok as can be expected.

Big snogs to everyone else. at the dog blankets and at your collective craft skills. Oh and well done critter on the injection. I felt pretty well on the gonal f, although was too much of a whimp to inject myself.

I'm in bloody work yet again. It's shag week but I'm far too tired to be bothered with any of that...

X post princess. Am jealous of the ritz and kitchen perving. House porn, mmmm. Have a nice day!

Yes, I think I can handle congratulations on conception. DH are and I are allowing ourselves to celebrate conception (and swimmers swimming). We're trying to completely put anything else (pregnancy, baby) out of our minds and just focus on the success of conception for now. We'll deal with whatever is to come when we have more information from a doctor.

I was on vacation for three weeks and totally absent from this thread. I've been making my way through it (on page 15) but I've missed a lot and still don't feel properly caught up with you lot especially as we seem to have some new people but here is our deal in a nutshell: We have been TTC for a year now (almost to the day). We were about one week in (on our honeymoon) when my DH broke his back (TTC with broken back: not fun). I was housing an alien (Dermoid Cyst) on my ovary which I had removed by laparoscopy in May. It was apparently skewing my hormone levels (androstendione) and causing my cycle to be somewhat irregular. TBH, my cycles have been even more irregular since the OP but who knows. The major issue is that my DH has motility and morphology issues. We were told 2 months ago that we will not conceive naturally and were referred to a fertility clinic for iui. I even had my first scan before the holiday and the plan is to start iui next cycle . . .

DH has been doing a few things in the last few months to improve his SA and I definitely want him to have it tested again to see whether there has been an effect (he did say yesterday that he feels like there is a lot more coming out although quantity was never the issue it can't be a bad thing):

1. Wellman Vitamins
2. Tamoxifen -prescribed by his doctor to increase his SA (hormone which blocks estrogen and therefore increases testosterone)
3. Significantly less stress - DH had metal plates inserted in his back after the accident which were removed in June. The quality of his life (not to mention no more meds, xrays, etc.) has significantly improved since then.

Just catching up.
lemons so sorry . Thinking of you and MrLemons.

MissM FX
[Ducks anything thrown] I'm doing a crochet/knitting blanket thing too. Basically it is structured procrastination against music practice, which I really need to do but don't have the mind for just now.
Still hurting over the pg announcements. Dumb but there you go. I wouldn't have let her find out 2nd hand. Sometimes people just disappoint me so much.
Other than that, waiting, but it's a no again
Take care all. Droopy tail feather waves.

Very excited for you mrsm !!! Buy a CB ready for tomorrow morning is my advice.

Sounds like a fab weekend is in store for you princess very

Still hoping for you lemon

Sorry you have to work today gin .. post work shagging is not common for us either

Critter - good on ya with the injection - it's a real sense of acheivement isn't it. I am also impressed with your creative skills.

Pout - sorry everything feels so rubbish. I think positivity is hard to find and negativity is easy to trip over at every turn. My current tactic is finding a 'couldn't give a shit attitude' - this way you don't have to be positive or negative. I prefer feeling like I don't give a damn even if it's not 100% true. I am having a rock chick fringe cut in this afternoon, I am planning an October trip (including the london meet up ) and am applying for a new job. This is my way of saying to the world that although I do have FET coming up in 2 weeks, I am so much more than just an IVF patient / waiting mother to be. Not sure it will work, but feels a bit better already.

Buzz - I really really feel for you with your DH's job situaton. I think you have been delt a shitty shitty hand just lately. But I wonder if that means things are going to do an almighty turn around very soon?

Princess - love the positive attitude and Ritz lifestyle (when I first wrote that Ritz came out as Titz )

Medusa - wow, just wow. I understand that you are being cautious at the moment - I think it's natural in our shoes. But I'm guessing that the one sided pain is the corpus luetum sending out progesterone messages in bucketfolds? Also, as I'm at high risk of eptopic pregnancy myself, I have done a bit of reading in to the signs. I think one sided pains would usually start a little later on. But have a quick read to check for yourself to see if that gives you some reassurance. And many many women get thier BFP later than 14 dpo - it depends on how the body deals with hormone. But for now - I think you can dare to believe you are pregnent So take one day at a time. Do another test with first pee tomorrow and book in for an early GP appointment and scan to discuss your concerns. Good luck and let us know how you get on. xxxx