TTC for 10+ months, part 9

[akuabadoll]

Ladies, number 9. The lucky one.

at Doll being tipsy.

Sea - congrats on reaching healthy bmi. I have looked in to CRGH for IUI and I have a feeling it is cheaper than both ARGC and Lister but I'm not sure about their results. Check out some results: www.argc.co.uk/statistics.html. I am going to cycle at argc whilst waiting for an nhs round. I generally have read mainly positive things about them but perhaps I am just reading the posts where there are positive outcomes. I have been in to the Argc many times to sort out appointments and they are a disorganised bunch. I have been told you won't get any love there. They don't keep to time but they are there to get results. And I go to the London Acu Clinic. If you want to PM me who you saw, I can tell you who I go to there. But if you're not comfortable with who you saw, it is best to find someone and somewhere else. They are much cheaper than a lot of the places in the Harley Street area.

V quick post as looong day at work but wanted to say hug to doll I'm so sorry you've been sad. It's just a number, but the numbers hurt us sometimes. Keep going, keep hoping, there are things to try out yet. And stay stay stay. Loves.

Catch up when can. But now, zzz.

Hi All.. I'm drunk so apologies in advance. Thank apple for spell check otherwise this wouldn't make any sense.

joy at my first pg appointment I told the about my cycles and the mid-wife asked me if I had ovarian cysts when I said I didnt know she asked if I'd had uncontrollable weight gain. When I said no she seemed satisfied. At the post mc scan they 'checked' my ovaries with a dildo cam and said they looked fine.

I hope I'm pg. and if so I hope the little bean like mojitos cos it's their main diet tonight.

Work do. Stupid smoozing conversations. I'm going to stop typing now before I miss my train stop...... Going to keep reading and maybe cluster post.

Ok another quick and crap phone post. New clinic much better. Flare protocol
Is standard for low AMH. And the guy had just been to a talk done by a guy from the Lister who had tons of data on low AMH and said stats are decent over several cycles. Felt 100% happier with this clinic. And cost. £4k including short protocol drugs. Prob about £600 more for long? Includes one year Frostie storage. Might end up opening my own frozen north IVF crack-den .

Can't do justice to anything else I wanted to say. Think lightening hit our phone line while we were away and has busted our phone and our router . Oh but haven't welcomed newbies yet so hello!

Off to bed to listen to Woo (sorry Gin) and to go to my Special Place .

Yay is doll drunk too? Happy birthday doll it's just a number and at least we can still hold our alcohol !

Coco

Now there's a dull thing...Artemis if you wouldn't mind, would you share what AB your doctor gave you and what not? As a self medicater would be useful to know. Ta. Do hope you are feeling better.

Sorry about the phone line situation Nelly nightmare. There is a weekly event involving wires here.

Waves and loves to all.

oops .. sorry
Glad I fell asleep when I did and didn't type anything too stupid..

Buzzy - I was on the long protocol so about 10 days of down regging after taking 1 x injection of prostap. Then stimming took me about 16 days I think as I needed a higher dose half way through as follies weren't growing. It usually takes 10-14 days.

When the clinic confirm your follies are nearly big enough, they set the egg collection date for 2 days later - so at this point you get some firm dates to tell work. EC was a Thursday for me. I counted my EC day as first day of sick leave. The GP kindly gave me a 3 week sick note to start from the monday after EC, so I was self certified until the following Monday.

I personally loved EC day. I was on lorazapam which made me drowsy and I loved it so much - I really didn't have any emotions that day which was an amazing experience when you are always thinking, thinking.

The procedure was straight forward and yes uncomfortable but I slept through a lot and they control pain VERY well.

They ring you the next day with a fertilsation rate. I have fond memories of the phone calls from the embryologists during these few days. DH and I use to make up songs about our embryo's to encourage them to grow. I know you will think I am crackers for saying this but in my heart I felt like I was helping and supporting them. We were lucky - 9/10 fertilised. I think 70% fertilisation rate is about average.

They then call you back in 3 days later. I think the embryologist had rung us again before this stage to say how many embryos were still going. At this stage they decide if you should have 3 day embryo(s) put back in or wait for blastocysts at 5 days. They call you in to clinic so you are there ready to receive them if needed. Then we had a meeting with the embryologist with the final decision. She told us 7 were still going so they were happy for us to wait and see if they progress to blastocyst stage. I thnk you need 3 or 4 embryos at day 3 for them to want to leave them until day 5.

So then we knew for sure we would be back in at day 5. Again we had another meeting with the embryologist. We were told we had 4 definate blastocysts and a possible further 2 that were only just getting to blasto stage. They said they would make a final decision about those that day. The embryologist also told us which one would go back in that day - the best one.

Egg transfer is also straight forward and it is back to theatre with a gown and hat, as does DH. Mr Sar got all giddy about this. . During ET, the embryologist popped her head throught the serving hatch and told us that the other 2 embryos were going to be frozen too. This meant we got 5 put in the freezer. 3 goodish ones and 2 borderline ones.

ET was like a smear but longer and not painful - just mildly uncomforable and nothing compared to some of the tests I have had. We got to see the embryo on a screen before it was transfered which was great.

Then you have to wait a further 10 days ish before they call you back for a blood test or 14 days ish for a urine test.

But ultimatly you know before then if you are pregnant as everyone does a HPT as normal.

Because of my 3 week sick note, I had a couple of days plus the weekend after I got my BFN before returning to work. This was vital to me as I could begin to process what had happened and start the tears off (and period cramps) before straight back in to work. Although getting back to work was a good distration too. So in my opinion, the timmings were right. I really enjoyed the time away despite some of the anxiety.

For FET, I plan to get a 2 week sick note starting from the first day of transfer.

Tips: I spoke about this with MrsGee (recently pregnant lady) - if you do have time off work with IVF make sure you have lots of relaxation as that is the whole point of it but structure your days so you don't become panicked and full of worry. E.g. a daily walk, meet a freind for tea and cake, plan DVD night, plan future holidays, update CV etc.

Also, if you do have time off work, consider taking the day before EC off work rather than from the day of EC. This is because I felt woozy and 'out of it' after the trigger shot (taken 36 hours before EC). I was sat in a meeting the day before EC really not processing what was happening and I felt like I was sliding down the chair.

Buzzy - let me know if you want to know about anything else. Good luck hon. x

Morning! Just popping in quickly to ask sar about the lorazepam. Is this standard at your clinic? I would REALLY like some on EC day as I was sooo nervous...

Waves to everyone else. Love the drunken postings.

Ooh sar that's very helpful. Good of you to take the time to write that. Could you help me with what questions I should ask my Dr re IVF? My thoughts are that it's here (in the specific clinic) and now (in the next few months) or not at all. I know that just the idea of shopping around or traveling will be enough to put me off completely and practically during the process I would be looking after my son as well so local is best. This in turn means I'm agreeing (or not) to whatever protocol they use, I suppose. I've followed some talk on here regarding LP or SP, is that the main difference?

Sar your account is really helpful. Thank you for sharing. xx

Just a quick post. I'm in the middle of reading The Chimp Paradox, which is a self help book written by a top psychiatrist who works with Team GBs cycling team. I told my 'rents that I'm seeing a therapist last night and explained how upset I'd been recently and they were surprisingly open minded about it (me seeing a therapist. I thought they would be ). Anyway, Dad recommended the book and it's brilliant. He talks about some stuff that my therapist was talking about i.e. the different bits of the brain. Basically the limbic bit of the brain is your 'monkey brain' (emotional centre) and the frontal part is your 'human brain'. It then goes on to talk about the monkey we all have inside us which makes us behave in strange ways that we are ashamed of. It starts of a bit kiddy with pictures and did give me a bit of a giggle in bed this morning. But the more you get into it the more interesting (and scarily relevant) it becomes. Basically, all of us on here are struggling with our inner monkey's (I've named mine) because they are the bit of us that wants to be safe, find shelter, food, reproduce etc etc. Anyway, I would recommend to you all (and to all my friends, DH and especially my Mum :) ) When I told him I spent all of Sunday night crying because my period turned up (he's used to this sort of talk now) he said, "I bet you haven't listened to any Barry White yet have you?" and I laughed. And then he said he would keep asking until we get pregnant. So, this month may be Barry White month. Maybe. I'm not sure what DH will think if I suruptitiously whack on some Barry White, and it may be a bit of a give away if we are with the PiLs.

Someone up thread asked if we have a definite moving in date. The answer's no, because of a legal matter beyond our control. It looks like we have until the end of next week in our flat (drops to knees, clasps hands together and thanks the god of housing arrangements). Unless the whole thing falls through... which I'm sure won't happen seen as we exchanged contracts 3 weeks ago!!!!

I loved the drunken posting last night coco

Nelly glad that you had a much more positive experience at the new clinic. I've always fancied visiting Scotland, maybe in the future....

Sea well done on getting to your healthy BMI - great achievement. I think you should poke your consultant. Mine wrote to me to tell me about my blood results (about 2.5 weeks after having them done - but one of the tests took a long time to do in the lab). I wasn't expecting to hear from him so had already phoned up to get the results of one of the tests from my GP practice. I'm not private by the way. You should be able to get your results one way or another. Good luck :)

Critter any news today? Actually, stupid question as it's probably middle of the night where you are! Ha!

Right-ho, back to work and then some more of the Chimp book

Tail feather shakes, sparkly dildo waves, pom pom rustles etc etc to you all.

Come on Fertility Gods - at least one more BFP before this thread's out!

Hi guys, quick phone post - sorry not to namecheck. Dr wants me to take follistim, which my insurance won't cover - they say they'll only cover gonal f. I'm waitin for the doc and insurance company to fight it out but I don't mind either way, apparently they are basically the same thing, but the dosage options are different. Once it's sorted, I will start on injections straight away. Nurse showed me how to use the pen and it all looks straight forward. So feeling good about having a plan of action. And mr c will get an SA to rule out any issues at his end. Loved the drunk posts last night coco!

Critter good luck and glad you are feeling good about it. My sympathy with the insurance issue, I lived for several years in NYC and every time I so much as walked by a doctors office problems would start. I found it super stressful and didn't manage it very well. Sounds like you are, though. Good for you.

Quick post as am at work
sar great explanation thank you
someone asked about cheapest between CRGH Lister and ARGH - they go in that order for price - don't know about stats
critter they said Letrozole, but I don't' know - I hear you're on injectables - will discuss with dr when I see her I think.
sea well done on healthy bmi

Loved the drink and post thing that went on last night

I'm not very focussed at the moment at work and am considering a few MN free weeks to try and turn my brain off - DH gets back on Saturday and I think I'll start then no point while he's away!

Critter that sounds exciting, glad things are starting for you. I took fostimon (sp?) on my first cycle and felt fine on it.

Sea hi there, I think I meant to post I might do a round at ARGC in future - so far I've had treatment at The Bridge, and the Esperance in Eastbourne.

Princess thanks for the book recommendation, have ordered it, along with inconceivable so thanks to those who recommended that.

Also thanks to everyone who shared their experience of counselling. I rang the clinic today to tell them the outcome and booked in a session next week, plus a review with the consultant in a couple of months.

Sar yes my experience was similar to yours in terms of contact points with the clinic. Slight differences, eg didn't actually go in in day 3 when it was decided to go to blast stage, had discussions with embryologist over the phone. Also re EC day, the first one I was just very relieved and excited to have got 9 eggs. The second I felt something chimp like about having had my eggs sucked out, didn't feel right. Also re transfer day, having done 3 now, I'm the type to tense up, and I found a big big difference in pain level having listened to zita west cd before and during, plus having acu before to help keep calm.

stupid laptop cable is broken so i am typing with 1 hand while holding the cable together

thank you for your info ladies, especially sar, we are putting a spread sheet together now.

I'll look up that book princess, although I have to admit I have no motivation at all right now :( Actually haven't had for some time, did get a few jobs done today but need to make a list of things I need to do.

care I found that CD you sent me months ago and made me realise I should listen to it more often.

waves to everyone else, sorry for not name checking, a bit hard with one hand

oooh I did find a leaflet I picked up months ago about life coaching not sure if they could actually help me but will keep it in mind

Buzzy I do 'life coaching' - therapy, anger management, brain retraining whatever you want to call it. I think the key is to get someone you really trust. For example, 4 close friends and DH have seen my life coach / therapist and have all been turned around and lead much more positive and constructive lives now. So I trust him implicityly and have been really honest and open with him (you never know what DH told him about me all those years ago!) I really wish I had gone years ago. Kindle tells me I am 19% through my new Chimp management book and my god, I'm feeling more understood and more understanding of myself than I have done in a lifetime. The sun is shining, I've been out sans make-up to buy a journal and FIL a birthday card, I've been planning our kitchen, I haven't been angry yet and I did all of my work this morning before straying onto MN / reading my book / looking up house stuff. I dealt with a potentially terrible situation at work this morning with ease, put it to bed, moved on and have done stuff I want to do this afternoon. Usually I would have gotten really at just about everyone over the terrible situation and then not been able to do anything this afternoon but fret. It felt weird to keep calm and in control and it really wasn't a big deal. Obviously the book and life coaching stuff (and Zita West CD) isn't for everyone. But thought I would share to show how quickly this stuff can work, even if it just gives you a temporary lift whilst dealing with deeper seated problems. I'm not expecting miracles over night but I am feeling much more positive about everything. I'm really looking forward to my 2 hour sesh of 'life coaching' on Friday. Sorry to hear your laptop is broken, that must be really infuriating. Hope you and Mr B are ok and your migraine has gone xx

Oh and I've found a great thread on MN about kitchens and have so many cool ideas as a result :)

Ok I lied about straying on to MN. The evidence is plain out there that I was on here at 10.38 but that's before I got my post in today But I have done all my work today and before lunch and before spending hours on the kitchen board

Coco ? at mojiot baby. It seems to work for everyone else!

Nelly ? great news about stats being ok for AMH. I had another conversation about it yesterday with my acu and he said he gets loads of people in his clinic with 0. Sth amh results and they end up getting their babies. Out of the top 4 ivf clinics in London. 1 thinks amh is vital, 2 look at it but don?t put too much emphasis on it and 1 thinks it is bollocks. It?s all about quality not quantity.

Sarlat ? that is so helpful reading your experience. Thanks for that. That?s amazing your GP signed you off for that amount of time. I won?t be able to take any time off.

Princess ? i love those kinds of books and so have bought it on Amazon. I?m so easily persuaded!

Critter ? is everything really expensive in the States if you can?t get it via insurance or is it similar to here? I?m glad you have got a plan and i?m pleased they are starting you straight away. You always sounds so positive and upbeat, it must be the American thing rubbing off on you

Care ? do you still have any of those cds knocking around that you were offering?

My friend has just contacted me and wants to meet last minute this evening with another friend. Her email was very excitable and I?m now feeling terribly nervous that i?m about to get a double pregnancy announcement. One friend is trying and the other got married 5 months ago ....I love these 2 people but I really don?t want to hear it if they or just one of them is upduffed . urgggh arrrgghghgh

Princess - coming on MN In the morning is fine. I have a habit of looking at threads Gone midnight which is bad!

Joy FX for something other than announcements this evening. Urgh. I know that feeling of dread. I'm so so glad that I am not on FB anymore. I have two more on my radar, and I just have a feeling in my water that we're due another announcement soon. Just hoping that by training my inner chimp I'll be ok.... Thanks for reassurances about being a total MN-aholic

Gin - yes I think lorazapam is standard for people at my clinic. I am surprised other clinics don't use something. As it means the clinic staff get us to shut up asking questions for a day but seriously, on ET day, as you know you just need to do it and go home. Extra worry is not helpful. I would ask you Dr - no insist they give you something.

Doll - Thinking of questions is a great idea. I don't know much about different protocols as I am an NHS patient so just went to the local clinic and accepted what they said really. But I know where lower antral follicle counts are concerned or with ladies in late 30' / 40's then sometimes short protocol can be better. I guess you shoud ask for a clear reason for why they put you on long or short and why they choose the drugs they choose and why they choose certain quantities. That way they have to prove to you they are treating you as an indivdual etc.

Other questions I would ask are costs of freezing embryos and can you have natural and medicated cycles if you do have frozen embryos to use. Also, do they use medication to relax you on egg collection day (as per Gin's point above). Also maybe ask how many embryos they would be willing to let you put back at one go. There are pros and cons to this. 2 embryos does increase chances but with your first go, it can be helpful to put one back if you havre the choice and then tweak the womb environment if needed the next time. Sorry I don't think I'm that helpful. I do think quality over quantity is more important though and I also think feeding your body / doing pre-IVF things is important straight away as it takes months for sperm and eggs to generate so bodies need good nutrition and TLC from an early stage.

I'm sure others will have other good question ideas. Good luck hon. x

Princess - I have just ordered the chimp book! The London meet up is going to look like a chimps tea party!

Artemis and Buzzy - thanks for sending me the meet up details. It is looking hopeful that I can come!

Rabbit - I bet you are knackered! 2 more days until the weekend and then your first proper week back is done. I say have some wine, go to the cinema and have a well deserved chilled weekend!

Sar that's great news that you can make it. Thanks to Buzzy and Artemis for passing on the message :) I will book once I've done a final head count, if you've already contacted me don't worry about doing it again just let me know if you're in / out. Final adjustments can always be done closer to the time :)