TTC after a miscarriage - springy BFPs for festive beanies

[mygirllolipop]

Here's hoping for a shney new spring thread with lots of spring BFPs and some festive beanies so here's some sticky dust...
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Love and luck to all who need it, x

going for a scan on tuesday , to make sure i have passed all of it ..... is there any questions i should be asking that i won't think of till i get home ????

i have been given all clear by my own doc to try again, once i have had scan and bleed has stopped.

xXx
cd 2

Congratulations timefortea!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had my scan yesterday, and there was a little blob with a very strong heart beat so i feel a little more relaxed now. It is really hard, as i haven't told anyone in RL so thank you all fro listening! I think at 8 weeks, i should bow out from the thread now, but i just wanted to say thanks for all your support and caring words over the past few months. It has been great knowing that you are all out there. Best of luck for the future girls - i will keep checking back to see how you are doing.

Rachee, alll I can think of is just rest and look after yourself and look forward to TTC. Congrats to all the BFP's out there. It is the last night for BD ( first month following mc)for a purpose rather than pleasure( DH doesn't know it yet!)as cd 14, pushing my luck a little I suppose. Better get up those stairs before we both fall asleep on the sofa! Good luck to all the others TTC
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hiya all

i had a miscarriage over a week ago and as soon as it seems i cannot wait to try again for a little baby as soon as my bleeding stops, i have been told to wait until a normal period but i believe this is just for dating purposes?! it seems silly to be careful for just a couple of weeks.
hope you all dont mind me joining this thread as i am planning to keep it all a secret this time from RL friends and family until 3 months.

Hi Desperate - I had a mc & ERPC nearly four weeks ago and, like you, was immediately desperate to try again. I was told by my consultant to wait for a full cycle, but I've subsequently been told by a midwife, my GP and a mc nurse counsellor that that is purely for dating purposes and it's ok to try again as soon as you feel ready. I guess only you will know that. On the secrecy side of things, I understand exactly where you are coming from....but I've decided when (if) I get pregnant again I will be just as open about it as before because a) I want to enjoy every moment of my pregnancy and b) I will need the support of the people around me if (God forbid) something goes wrong again. I know it's hard to tell people what's happened, but how much harder to say nothing about why you are so sad or try to explain 'well I was pregnant, but now I'm not'. Anyway, sorry to bang on - welcome to the thread - you'll find loads of support here. x

Time4Tea - thanks so much for your thoughts about the cremation service. I've thought about it a lot and have decided I must go, even if I find it difficult (well, of course I'm going to find it difficult). I actually feel kind of privileged that my hospital takes it so seriously. DH and I did have a little ceremony of our own at the church where we were married - we took a candle to light and said some prayers and cried a lot. We have kept the candle and are having a special candle holder made so we can light it and think about our baby from time to time. I think you are right about rituals providing a focus to let all the feelings out. How are you? Feeling well, I hope. x

bobbynog - good luck.

Anyone heard from rubles? I'm wondering how she is.

Think I've banged on for more than long enough now.

hello

Glad that my post was helpful Little Polly.

Welcome Desperate, I'm sorry life brought you here, but glad to have you with us...On telling people - I listened to the Radio 4 program this week on miscarriage, found it a bit demoralising to dwell on it, as there were lots of really sad-sounding mums and dads who had had multiple miscarriages... but one thing they did say as that the research done indicates that it can be easier to cope psychologically if you tell a couple of people about the pregnancy, even if it miscarries. Although I kept very quiet about my last pregnancy and only told a few people, a lot of people ended up knowing once I had the miscarriage. So I'll take it slowly (only did the test with DH and told him this morning) but will tell a few people in RL. But maybe this is down to me being hopeless as keeping anything quiet... I must say it is easier being quiet about it as I have a vent here...

... and on waiting for first normal period - give yourself and your DH a few treats of whatever kind, food, drink, BD'ing. I never get the dating thing, as surely the scans tell pretty quickly once you've had a positive pregnancy test? although I must say I found the first period quite a good marker, it was as if everything had got back to normal and was strangely satisfying.

good luck Bobbynog. It was great to hear you had a good scan. XXX

Bye bye Bobbynog. Hope to join you on the pg after m/c thread in the next few onths. Sending lots of good wishes with you XXX

Welcome desperate (((hugs))))

I too was desperate to ttc after my M/C in March. I don't know if it was because of my pregnancy complications (lost our son at 18+3 days) but I'm glad now, looking back that I didn't fall pg straightaway as I think my body needed a couple of cycles to clear out some placental tissue which was left behind after the birth. Others on here have also said they lost tissue with their first AF's. I just wonder whether if I had fallen straight away, having that inside maybe could have caused an infection or another m/c? sorry, hope that doesn't sound too gloomy but maybe the recommended wait's not just for dating purposes as they can do that with scans quite easily. I was so keen at the time that I asked the question about how long I needed to wait on the pg after m/c thread and the general advice on there was to wait at least till you had a normal AF. I suppose it depends also how far pg you were as to how long your body needs to recover. Apparently sometimes the first cycle after a m/c is annovulatory if your body isn't ready. I doubt if many on here bothered to use contraception whilst waiting for AF though - we certainly didn't . Hths

Little Polly, we were offered an individual cremation and organised that for our little boy. It was really painful organising it but am sure it helped with our healing and going through the service was probably the saddest and best part of the process iyswim. The candle holder sounds lovely. A beautiful thing to help remember your little one.

like desperate i had mc two weeks ago but as its taken from nov 04 to get pg i am not going to wait untill i have af as this could be anytime, but as i went to the early pg clinic on the 17th when mc confirmed then i have a date to work from should we be lucky to get pg again.

i agree about not telling anyone untill after 3months.

thanks for all your hugs and messages.
i have seen the epu walls more times than i care to remember in the "12 weeks" i was pregnant and on my final visit i was given a scan to tell me i had had a complete miscarriage so i assume all the bits and pieces are out although now i have been told i have an infection so ttc has been put on hold for a wee while but hey ho.
as for dating purposes i will log the dates we "do the deed" so my dates should only be a week or so out should i be lucky enough to fall.
one thing that does play on my mind even though i have done a tonne of research and its been proven the pill does not interfere with miscarriage. previous to falling pregnant i was on the pill continuous for 6 years without breaks, i came off of the pill and within 6 weeks i was pregnant? could the pill have been fighting my baby as i have read it takes 3 months for it to be out of your system.
congratulations to all the new mums to be on here i am truely happy for you all and i hope it works out for you (fingers and toes crossed)
i am terrible at keeping my mouth shut so no doubt a few close family members and friends will know when and if it happens. i know with my previous pregnancy i had a grin from ear to ear for the whole 3 months even though it wasnt the smoothest time of my life with bleeding etc i could have shouted it from the roof tops!
sorry for ranting (i think its cos the footies on and im bored stiff)

oops forgot to ask what are all the abbreviations some of them i understand but some i dont

b d ing?

Look at the "acronym list", there is a link under "Essential Stuff" at the top of the page

Hi Nicola, how r u? We would have been synchronised during this 2ww as my AF was 9th June but I OV'd really early this month on day 9 or 10 so am already on day 8 of 2ww. Not sure what my body is up to.

Rubles - still thinking of you and sending loads of love (((((hugs))))

yes, me too was wondering about Rubles. Nichola and Ruthlouise, good luck for 2WW.

Hi there, I'm OK, not sure when/if I o'd this month as didn't start doing the test sticks until day 14 (so busy with work I did not get to buying any) and they never became positive, so am assuming it happened before then. Hope it happened at some point anyway. We'll see... We bd at least every second day throughout the cycle anyway so would have caught it whenever it happened...keeping fingers crossed...

Rubles are you around at all? How are you? Thinking of you...

You are all real loves, do you know that? It has meant a lot to me that you have all given warm words and support on this board. Thanks a lot, I am very touched.

I haven't been on for a while because I have been trying to get my head together and calm myself down. (I don't know if I have achieved this t.b.h though). I couldn't really face coming on Mumsnet, so sorry if I have appeared rude and ignored you all.

Also, I felt quite stupid and embarrassed after celebrating the +ve on here and then it not implanting. I felt a bit of an idiot frankly.

I have generally been feeling quite anxious, negative, angry & a failure. Disproportionately so. I am working on getting things in perspective as this kind of attitude doesn't help anyone and is certainly not going to help me conceive.

CD8 for me today. Maybe all the BDing will cheer me up...
I am undecided whether to use any opks or temp this month. Part of me thinks that if I don't know when I ovulate I won't know when I am due on, so maybe I will not be watching the calendar and be getting so worked up...also it might save me from testing too early. But then the other part of me (the worrier part) thinks that maybe I should know when I am due on so that I know if I have another chemical pregnancy.

Welcome to desperate2bmum, lizziemum, rachee, tari79 & wannabump.

Good luck to all of you on your 2 week waits!

Rubles,

You have absolutely nothing to feel embarrassed about. We all post what's going on when it's going on and as we all know this TTC thing isn't an exact science. Just so sorry it wasn't what you'd hoped for.

I posted I was on about to start my 2WW last week when in fact I was no such thing as I've just had a second AF - you just think you're starting to know your body and it plays tricks on you.

Have you thought about taking a bit of time out and not TTC for a few weeks? You must be knackered emotionally and physically from the worry and disappointment. You know what's best for you. Take care

Thinking of you
xx

Rubles don't feel embarrassed, we are just glad to hear from you! I agree with angst, try to chill out a bit this month, don't necessarily count, test etc...easier said than done though I know. I'm trying not to think about the 2ww this time but it's impossible. Planning a holiday for next month and keeping busy with work (and yes, bding!) to try and compensate.

Rubles

I am glad you are feeling a little better.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I have my hospital appointment in the morning. I am feeling a little anxious. I will be having my HSG x ray. I really hate all this proding and poking around. Most of all I find it quite embarassing especially when they say things like.. You must not have sex etc etc... I feel as though i am being told off. DH is putting up with this quite well. NO bd'ing for another 2 weeks. That will be just over 4 weeks.. Poor thing. Mind you it's annoying me too.

Do we have any testers soon?

hello Rubles, good to hear you are back. Don't feel embarrassed (as the others have said) the beauty of this is that we go through the highs and lows together with people who understand... have you thought of BD'ing every two days, instead of charting etc? my best friend's sister was attending a fertility clinic and this is what they recommended. takes some of the fiddling/stress out of it. as it goes, take it easy on yourself - easier said than done I know, planning some treats you'll really enjoy can help. big hugs to you.

Little Polly, I was thinking of you this morning, I hope the service goes well today. Its a beautiful day for it (at least here in N London it is) much love to you

and love to all!

XXXX

Good luck for this morning Oinker. All that proding and poking will bw worth it if they find out whats wrong

I'm on cd25 today but i didn't ovulate until cd16 so won't be testing until next week.

Good luck for today Oinker. Thinking of you xx

i totally agree planning a holiday will take your mind off things. me and dp have not had a holiday together for 5 years and because all of the stress of the m/c and wondering when il be pregnant again we are going away end of july (devon) and away in september(spain) for his birthday and it really is a mind diversion to get away from all your troubled thoughts i highly recommend!! i know the pregnancy thing consumes 99.9% of thoughts but hopefully the distraction will pay off with not being so focussed.

Oinker, I hope it all goes well today for you. Let us know how it goes.

Good luck Oinker. I had an HSG last November, it was not too bad and the next month I was pregnant(something about the dye clearing out the tubes). It ended in a m/c sadly, but that was nothing to do with the test.

I am also planning a holiday. DH has just told me he does not want to go away in July as he wants to concentrate on his studying, but agreed to Croatia in August (for my birthday). I will probably be rather down on my birthday (turning 43 and no baby yet) so hope the holiday will help.