hello all, thanks for all the good wishes.
Little Polly, see how you feel of course, but I would give it a go, esp. if your DH is interested. After the mc, even though I had had good support from DH, friends, EPU, I still felt I hadn't done everything that I could to understand what had happened or to "go through the experience" or "process" it.. Eventualy I talked to my parish priest about my mc, and he and I had a little service together for the baby (religion isn't my DH's cup of tea)just with a lit candle and a few words, but some of the prayers from the Catholic funeral service about peace etc. It was unbelieveably moving - I blubbed like a drain - and afterwards I really felt I had done something for the baby I had lost and honoured the short time we had had together, and it has really helped take the sting out of the inevitable sadness.
I feel a bit shy saying all this on this thread - I've no wish to foist any religious views on people! - but any kind of ritual to mark what has happened apparently can help. The Miscarriage Association leaflet mentions it and at first I thought it was an odd idea, maybe not helpful, possibly even more upsetting. My ritual was upsetting, but in a way that made me feel I had really got it all out.
Particularly because you have been proposed a special mc service, I think it might be more likely to be a good experience. The reason why my priest was so good is that he had talked to lots of women who had suffered mc because he was the priest near St. Mary's Paddington Hospital where Linda Regan has his clinic, he said lots of women just popped in to sit in the church. So he really was considerate. Certainly not every vicar/priest/rabbi/humanist counsellor/whatever might not be as aware, so I certainly wouldn't recommend rituals to everyone, and of course we can do it alone or with friends.
good luck Little Polly
and big hug to all
I think it was Oinker who was worrying about what happens to the babies a few weeks ago. It is really nice to hear what your EPU do. We were all sure our babies were treated respectfully.
hugs again. I really feel for Rubles. If you are reading special big hug