TTC after a miscarriage - springy BFPs for festive beanies

[mygirllolipop]

Here's hoping for a shney new spring thread with lots of spring BFPs and some festive beanies so here's some sticky dust...
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Love and luck to all who need it, x

Hi Ruthlouise

I thought AF (which came 4 weeks after ERPC) had only lasted 4 days then it went away and has come back just as bad. Definitely tissue, yuk!! Perhaps tmi!

Think we will wait for the recommended three months before ttc as we have booked a holiday on 1 August to Majorca so role on 9 August when we will start ttc again.

I don't know anyone who is pg at the moment and haven't seen many babies around so don't know how I will react. Probably won't be good though.

Lets hope we all feel better soon.

On the positive side.........

Summer is only around the corner, that should do the trick...
Warm summer days and evenings..sipping pimms or whatever takes your fancy...Asda are doing two Pimms for £20.00. I love the stuff. It's soooooo refreshing and doesn't get me pissed.

Lets have some positive happy thoughts

We will all get there one day.... In the mean time let's enjoy the journey

SKY...

I've booked my holiday too...

BA are doing amazing offers on flights only..Got ticket for five to Milan at the end of July for £42.00 each...BARGAIN..It's normally over £100.00 each.
I am really looking forward to it.

Morning all,

Well, I'm CD 28 and still no AF - must be a hopeful sign? But - still BFN. Funny thing is, I don't feel as if AF is coming, and I don't feel pg either, apart from being extremely tired - but that can be attributed to ds keeping me up at night....grrrrr....

Actually I could be CD29 as my last AF actually started quite late at night, iykwim. I just took the following morning to be the official start. Last AF also came on CD26, so I'm guessing I'm still a bit messed up after mc. Or I'm 2/3 days late.....wish me luck ladies....

Hope you're all well....

WWW................

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Fingers crossed.

Whats happening......?????

Where is everyone?

Got DH back from his course.
It's horrid being left alone during the week.
Six weeks left.

Thanks Oinker!!

Don;t know where everyone's got to...this thread gets a bit quiet sometimes!
Glad your Dh is home. Have fun!

Hello All!

Been having a tough week deciding whether to give up work or not, that's why I've been quiet. Think I've decided the time is not right for me, as even though I had the letter written, I just couldn't give it to my boss to resign. No doubt change my mind loads over the next few weeks, but feel relaxed about my decision at the mo.

Anyway, got a bit of a shock today as I found out that KY might be toxic to sperm. Never been that up on CM IYKWIM (Really can't believe I'm telling people this)!! Kind of hope that I haven't spoilt it for this month, on CD12, but don't have regular cycles. Last time I tried to work it out, they were at least 35-40 days long, so hopefully I won't have ovulated yet. My temp certainly hasn't risen yet.

Strangely though I've been having odd pregnancy symptoms, metallic taste, tiredness, tingling boobs, nausea, excessive saliva. Weird, as I definitely had a full-on AF 2 weeks ago, so it can't have been implantation bleeding. Hope I'm not having a phantom pregnancy!! I assume my hormones are probably still all over the place after MC.

Oops - seem to have gone on a bit long, probably best if I'm quiet really!!

Hope everyone else is well - lots of good luck to you WWW, this thread needs a BFP

Oh www - good luck - i have everything crossed for you! Af hasn't arrived here yet - not dur till tuesday, but felt very pre-menstrual the other day!
In the mirror today, Gillian Mckeith listed 6 foods to help boost fertility if any ones is interested - almonds, strawberries, spinach, sunflower seeds, water and green tea - there was a bit of info about all of them, but i wont bore you with the details.
Also, for any one who is stressing out, try a reflexology session - i have one every couple of weeks now and find it really relaxing.
Off to cjill out in front of the box with dh now - have a good weekend!

Losing the plot because I can't remember which topic thread I 've posted on and which one I haven't., I have to re-read each one. Anyway Best of luck WWW with no AF coming, sorry AF came for Nic63, Ruth, BF...I'm only a week on from m/c and a couple of glasses of wine later, my DP managed to escape tonight, the ramblings of a close to crumbling spouse,in a public place ( pub) when a friend called him out of the blue to meet up. At least my curtailed evening has given me the opportunity to chat on MN. Today my little boy and I got into a convo about tummies as he saw mine whilst I was dressing and then he mentioned babies in tummies ( I happened to tell him, probably a little too early, that I had one too, in my tummy-up until last week , that is) anyway I said to him, "baby gone", "no-more" and he said " baby dead", just like that ...He's only 3 . It didn't really hit me until later . Well that's my self absorbed ramblings done and dusted. No -one is self absorbed, just grieving, and justifiably... Retail therapy helps too , doesn't it Oinker? DH was told to go home by colleagues from work on Monday after dropping me off at hospital for my scan so we went shopping together to get wedding outfits. Seeing people at weddings is difficult if they know you were pregnant, maybe they'll be too busy to notice/ mention it. Sorry , went on a bit. I'll say goodnight and send healing thoughts to you all xx

AF came. Not such a shock, but to tease me by being 3 days late....not fair. And dh is away right over the time I'll be due to ov next. Bugger. But I'm thinking that maybe a stree/pressure free month off bd'ing purely to procreate might help me. I'm so sick of feeling so highly strung and obsessive about this whole business. If only I hadn't miscarried...I'd be due in about 10 short weeks....

Anyway, I'm going to try to get positive. Bobbynog - more info on what Gillian Mckeith was recommending please! Not boring at all!

K1K2 - hello. So soory for your loss. How far on were you? Oh dear, it just sucks. My wee boy did the same as yours - he asked to kiss my tummy and I had to tell him that there was no baby there any more. He kissed it anyway and said 'bye bye baby'. Broke my heart. He's the light if my life, my wee pal.

And yes, you can't beat retail therapy. I' off to visit asos.com. And ebay. I love a bargain!

Afraid I've lost the plot here a bit recently too. Sorry I've contributed to its 'quietness'. Am busy backing for our break away and have to leave the house spick and span as the inlaws are coming to stay to look after our veg plot! Of course 'sods law' said the freezer would play up yesterday...

Oh www - I'm sorry you didn't get your bfp this month.
I know what you mean about dh being away at the all important time. Dh is working in Cyprus next week and i'm on CD7 today... so we are going with him and staying out for a few extra days too . Actually we had planned it before I had this AF and knew my dates but I'd have been annoyed to miss the opportunity. Also looking forward to spending some time with my sister who lives out there. shall be going with those six 'fertility foods' on my mind (thanx bobbynog)but no chance re the green tea - yuk!

So won't be on here for next 11 days but hope to return to read about someones bfp . Its only a matter of time isn't it?

K1K2 - Welcome, sorry for your loss. hope your cycle settles soon so you can get down to some ttc.

Hello to everyone else on here who I've rudely not acknowledged. Take care of yourselves.

See you all next month
X Ruth

Sorry about the AF www. I know how you feel.

I also know about the DH being away at the wrong time thing. Last year I twice (in 2 consecutive months) flew to 2 different places very far away (one month 11 hours of travelling to get there, the next month 18 hours of travelling) just for a long weekend, because it was "that time" and DH was working in faraway places. It did not work, though.

Good morning ladies.....

WWW so sorry hun.
Don't give up you will get there.

I had a really bad day yesterday......
I feel bad cos I told you guys that we had to be positive etc etc...
and yesterday we got a phone call to say that DH's cousin had a baby girl.. I was so upset..I ran off to my bedroom and just cried for ages. DH made the SKIDS go outside in the cold garden to play with the dog.. I was sobbing my heart out.. It needed to come out and did. I just remembered everything about when we found out she was pregnant..I was already 6weeks pg at the time and she was just five.. I have avoided the issue and avoided her too. I should have been holding my baby too. All this on top of loosing my twins last week was just too much.

Anyway.....I have got it out of my system and feel better today....I am trying to be positive..
It's sooooooooooooooooo hard.

Hello all, I am back from 2 fantastic weeks away and I think I expect AF on Tuesday. We BD'd every night from CD10 to CD17 and then I developed a cold sore so that put a dampener on things to say the least. It was all very lovely and romantic and dd was an angel by sleeping in late and having an afternoon siesta so we could not only have some time alone together but we could take her out for meals in the evening (she's just turned 2). Bliss.

I am really disappointed to come on here and find all the bad news. So sorry for all of you who were disappointed by the arrival of your AFs. It's such a bummer.

Oinker - my heart goes out to you, I can really understand your reaction to your DH's cousin's news.

Talking of self-absorbed cows - I'm one!! I was at a wedding yesterday and my nemesis was there (friend of DP who is due two days before I would have been). There were quite a few pregnant women there, but they don't bother me I just think they look lovely and are very lucky. This girl however, brings out ugly feelings and thoughts in me that I am not proud of. I am just so very jealous of her and her happiness and her big fat bump that I try to avoid her at all costs. I won't rant here because you will all just think I sound like a nightmare. But I just want to be big and complacent and not know what I now know. Unfortunately I had to sit next to her mother and her sister and talk of the impending birth and what a wonderful mother she would make, was unavoidable. I got completely pissed and when we came home I had a rant and a massive blub about it, saying things to dp about how I feel - things that I am really ashamed of feeling, but they are there nonetheless. He started to defend her which made me livid because I thought he should just listen to me because I can't let it out anywhere else. I thought he was disloyal and unsupportive we had a massive row and he ended up sleeping on the sofa. Great. It was a fantastic wedding apart from that though.
I think I might try writing these things down in future and then throwing it away to try and get it out of my system.

dear all, sorry, I've been quiet too - lots of work, lots of visits out for the day with DS (to gardens, have found gardening pretty therapeutic)- Rubles, Oinker, WWW - all of you - so so sorry to hear of bad times. Rubles, I have found it is really hard trying to talk to DPs/DHs, I have found that mine really tries to be rational, whereas all I want is for him to say "I understand that you are sad" I do know all the rational stuff, he gives hugs but somehow it isn't enough, how can we get real comfort??. He asked himself yesterday, what do you want me to do for you? and I just didn't know what to say.

some days are just so weird still, and I'm so easily upset or made angry (maybe hormones still?) I'm trying to just experience the feelings as they come - writing down helps a bit too. I don't know, rambling... but its great to feel a little less alone. take care everyone. I'm off for a few days holiday, hoping that I can just get over this dip to enjoy the trip, and really hoping you'll be ok when I get back. lots of love.

I think that men have a different way of dealing with this whole situation - the typical male reaction is that if there's a problem, they need to 'fix' it. And it just doesn't work that way here. It can't be fixed, as I ended up yelling at my dh after one particularly hard day...all he can say is the whole 'it wasn't meant to be' stuff, (so doesn't help!) and he thinks that getting pregnant again will cure all. It won't. It will help, but it won't fix it.

I sometimes feel like he's over it already and that's not fair, because I'll never be completely over it. I have learnt to cope with it, but a part of me doesn't want to get over it - I don't want to forget. I won't forget, how could I?

I know that this is probably very un - pc, but I do feel that having a miscarriage is nearly solely a woman's problem. My dh can try to understand, and I know he's suffered the emotional loss, but our loss is physical too. We had to actually go through the act of losing our baby, and the horror of that won't ever be forgotten.

Hiya Rubles - self absorbed cows of the thread unite! Sorry you had a fall-out with your dh, hope it's sorted out now. If only they realised that you don't need them to fix it, you just need a bit of support and a cuddle, and to be told that it's all going to be alright. Come here for virtual hugs - and feel free to write it all down!

Wow, I went on a bit there.....further eveidence that I am indeed a self-absorbed cow of the highest order...

You are all definately not self absorbed cows - what has happened to us can't just be swept away and forgotten about. On the outsdie we all appear normal - there is nothing physically wrong with us, but the emotional side of it takes a long time to heal. The minute you see the little blue line, you start planning and thinking about the future with a new addition to your family - you are mourning the loss of a baby, plus the dreams and plans. We had arranged holidays around my "bump", so although i am not pregnant, we are still going, but it is like a reminder.
As for other pregnant ladies, i so want to feel happy for them, and discuss the details (if it was me i would talk about it non stop), but now i just think get over it - your pregnant - so what! And as for people who moan about being tired or sick or fat i just think stop maoning - i would love to be all those things! I remember 6 weeks into my pregancy telling my Dh that it was going so slowly and i wished it would hurry up - he said "enjoy it, this will be your last time of pregnacy" - little did we know.
At the moment i am trying to explain to DH how awful it is waiting for AF - knowing that there is nothing i can do about it, but sit and wait. He just thinks "what will be will be" but i jusy feel this build up, and then a crushing blow when it happens, only to think, sh*t i've got to go through this again next month.
I will find the stuff on "fertile foods" and type it up for you tomorrow.
Chin up girls - it can only get better.

Feeling crap - as can be witnessed by still being up at 1am. I think I may have to bow out of this thread as DH is not keen for ttc. I thought he had been pleased about the pg, even though it was an accident. But it appears not.

I have now had my first af after mc and he is still not ttc... There was me thinking he was following orders from doc about waiting for first af but no it seems not. (we use the withdrawal method sorry if tmi) I think I need to talk to him but I am so frightened about what he is going to say.

I think I had felt OKish about mc as I told myself we could try again but now reality is hitting home and I am becomming more and more upset. The thought of never having another baby is too much..... I long for one - why can't he understand???

Sorry this is definitely a SAC post !

Everyone here seems to be having a bit of a hard time lately, it's difficult isn't it? My DH is worried about ttc as he does not want to see me disappointed again, but I am steaming ahead with all the tests etc, and am not going to stop. I am having a hysteroscopy on Thursday. Has anyone had one? Do they hurt? The obstetrician is going to use Valium to put me into a sedated state, so I probably won't remember a thing about it.

Oh cece, you poor thing. What has your dh said, why do you think he doesn't want to ttc again? You must talk to him, and be totally honest about your desire. After all, you were both all ready to have a baby before your miscarriage - so what's changed? Sorry, I don't know what to say. Please let us know how you get on.

I lay awake last night fretting over the fact that my dh is going away with work next week - on cd12. I was lying there thinking...if we bd in the morning (actually it would be the middle of the night - he leaves at 5am!), do I still have a chance if I ov on cd14? Or do I just accept properly that this month is a no-go, and chill out about it all for a few weeks? At least then I wouldn't have to cope with the horrific 2 week wait. And that would be nice.

Anyway, hope you're all well this morning. Hope to see more of you on here again soon....xxx

Made up with dp fine yesterday, I just had a raging hangover.
Did a pregnancy test this morning - BFN obviously because it was way too early. I knew it would be, but I bought a bumper lot of tests a while back so they only cost 29p each so it doesn't matter so much, so I thought I'd give it a go.

Cece, the withdrawal method is far from the best method of contraceptive as has been proved by you getting pregnant (and me with dd, actually), are you sure he definitely doesn't want another if he is happy to continue to do it that way?

Don't think I ever formally introduced myself, just sort of crashed in before - hope you don't mind. Had an ERPC 2 weeks ago. Just getting back to "normal".

Rubles / WWW - know exactly what you mean about DP/ DH needing to fix it and also had the sticking up for pregnant friend thing. After I knew I had m/c'd I said I didn't want to see DH's friend (who was around 8wks ahead of me) for a while as I didn't think I could cope. The response wasn't exactly what I was looking for. 1)So that means I have to give up my friends / you need to move on from feeling this way. and 2)You're not the only one suffering... Great - thanks for your support!!
Not a great reflection of our relationship. The emotional strain of the m/c was bigger than both of us I think, but we're getting there.

Rubles - where did you get all the cheap tests - Think I might stock up for the months ahead!

Cece - Hope you can sort it out with DH what you both want.

Nicola - I've had a hysteroscopy. I found it quite painful, but I think that was because I wasn't ATALL relaxed. Also it's only for a really short time. The valium should help you loosen up and then it shouldn't be too bad. Good luck.

Hi feeling abit better today. Thanks for the messages. Dh is coming home early so we will see.... He asked if I was OK when he phoned to tell me he was on his way home...

Have spent the morning unpacking some more boxes after our house move so feel like I have achieved something this morning.

This thread could definitely do with some good news

Still waiting - AF due tomorrow - it is like a countdown.
Anyway - info from Gillian Mckeith on the 6 foods to boost your fertility

1. Almonds - packed full of sex hormone, balancing essential fatty acids and zinc, which are important for boosting fertility levels
2. strawberries - can help trigger ovulation and may prevent aggulination (when sperm sticks together! Nice!)
3. Spinach - great source of vit B6 and folic acid, essential for the production of sex hormones
4. sunflower seeds - great sources of magnesium, which is one of the most important minerals affecting the quality and quantity of a mans sperm, and a womans ability to conceive and maintain a healthy pregnancy.
5. Water - drink 8 glasses a day to help flush wastws, keep your body running smoothly and provide proper fluids for conception to occur
6. Green tea - research has shown women who drink it increase their chance of conception. Hope this helps, but whilst searching the mirrors website to save me typing i found two other articles that might be worth reading - \link{http://www.mirror.co.uk/sexandhealth/kids/tm_objectid=16753428%26method=full%26siteid=94762-name_page.html\fertile foods} \link{http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/tm_objectid=15661908%26method=full%26siteid=94762-name_page.html\good fertility guide} Off to stock up on sunflower seeds! Might have to discues them to encourage dh to eat them - oerhaps if i dip them in chocolate!