TTC after a miscarriage - springy BFPs for festive beanies

[mygirllolipop]

Here's hoping for a shney new spring thread with lots of spring BFPs and some festive beanies so here's some sticky dust...
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Love and luck to all who need it, x

hello ruthloise,

glad to hear that Isaac's funeral went well. I was thinking about you that day.
I don't know about your spotting...all I know is that it takes a while for your body to get back to normal. Have you tried doing an ovulation test? I started doing them not long after my m/c (became a bit obsessed with them actually!) and they at least helped me work out what was going on a bit. I had an unexpected bleed at the start of my holiday, 4 days before I was 'due' to ov - it only lasted a day and my ov tests showed I definitely did ov on the day I was meant to, despite the bleed. Who knows what the hell happens inside after such a trauma to your body. I suppose you just have to let it run its course. I know how frustrating and worrying it is.

Hope everyone else is ok, it's been a bit quiet here lately...

This thread seems to have gone awfully quiet! Well, I am back at work today after two weeks off on holiday, and it is nice to be back. AF was due yesterday and has not shown up yet, but I do have a heavy crampy feeling that implies she is nearby. Well, I will just keep my fingers crossed anyway...

Meanwhile I have next appt with obstetrician next Friday and will discuss results of all the tests I had following my m/c. I am already on thyroid hormone after finding a slight problem there. I am hoping this will make a difference.

Hope everyone is doing OK. The spring does seem to have finally come. If only it would bring some good news with it...

That sounds very hopeful Nicola63, the achy pains could be AF but could not be. Do you normally get a day of aches before starting? I am taking time off from ttc (despite only really trying for 1 month!! What a lightweight I am.) How long are you planning to leave it before you test?

I never used to get any pain with AF at all, but after my m/c's I have started getting quite bad pains. Last month (fist one since my m/c) was truly awaful, I have never understood what people meant before when they complained about period pains, now I do!!

Well, I am trying not to obsess, and will wait until tomorrow before testing. I am generally ultra regular but have on occasion been 1 or 2 days late.

If AF does arrive I am determined not to be too low. But that is easier said than done isn't it?

It is definitely easier said than done, you can't help your mind racing away and the little germs of hope start to grow. I really tried to manage my expectations last time but nevertheless was extremely let down when AF came - disproportionately so, considering it was only one month - and it made me realise I wasn't quite the full ticket emotionally and was probably getting in the way physically.

Fingers crossed for you for tomorrow.

Hello and good luck to all of you ladies ttc, have been away a little while as not been up to posting also been working f/t !!! Anyhow im actually just posting to say goodbye to all my old friends and new ones too. Bye and good luck.

Hello - just wondering if I could join you all?

I had a missed MC about 10 weeks ago, with an ERCP nearly 8 weeks ago, but still having intermittent pain and spotting/light bleeding. Going back to see the Obs & Gyny consultant tomorrow afternoon to discuss why it is still going on. Either way I'm really frustrated as I really want to get on with TTC, but I was told that we couldn't have sex until the bleeding had stopped. Finally asked GP last week if we could start having sex and she said yes, but only with protection to avoid infection. Now as far as I know that really makes TTC difficult!

But with all the complications, its hard to know if I've had AF yet or not. Sorry, not really asking anything, but as I'm sure you all understand, just sharing your problems makes them easier - probably the same reason I've told nearly everyone I know about the MC, even if they didn't know I was pregnant before.

Nicola63, did AF come today???

Babyfettle, I hope your appointment today is conclusive in some way. It seems that everyone is desperate to ttc asap after their miscarriages, I certainly was although it has abated somewhat thankfully.

No sign of AF yet, so I tested, but to my disappointment got a BFN. I suppose I will just have to wait and see. The first time I got pregnant the test only became positive several days after AF was due. The second time it was positive immediately. So who knows what is going on now. I won't get my hopes up though.

A BFN isn't a reason for disappointment, AF is though. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Still no AF, will test again this afternoon, as no chance earlier than that to buy a test! Oh I do hope this will be good news... but I am telling myself probably not so I don't get disappointed...

If it was positive the due date would be Christamas day...

ooh, feeling good about this one! Sorry, I know you are trying to keep cool, but it is getting exciting.

Try to make sure that your urine is concentrated if you do it this afternoon though - or, if possible (ha!), wait until the morning as you don't want to waste another one and get a BFN just because it was too dilute.

oooh!

Oh dear, I got AF this morning. How disappointing. Oh well, never mind...

Oh no Nicola63 I can't believe it. I'm sorry to hear that. How do you feel about it?

Oh Nicola63 (((hugs)))

I'm not feeling too bad, really. Disappointed but not defeated. I have doctor's appointments next week and will be talking to the obstetrician about all my test results and further tests etc. That will help. He wants to do a hysterosonogram, so will be arranging this.

I will keep optimistic in general and hope all you other ttc'ers do the same!!

Well its been a couple of weeks since I posted. Af came and went as I thought she would. CD14 today and got the egg on my Persona. :)

Still waiting for the results of my Chromosome tests to come back and then I can go back to see the specialist.

Hope everyone else is ok?

glad you're keeping positive Nicola63...keep your pecker up! (or your dh's, rather...)

My AF is due on sunday...am dreading it. have convinced myself it's def coming as I am feeling tired, crampy, irritable - but those are pg symptons too, right? And I was sick last night...but other than that I feel normal. Not pregnant. Every time I go to the loo I'm expecting to see old AF. Am trying to prepare myself for another round of frantic bd'ing next month. have been trying to prepare dh too, he keeps asking 'do you think you're pregnant?' It's driving me nuts.

hope everyone else is well...been a bit too quiet on here lately!

Hi guys - how do you cope with the waiting? With my two pregnancies, it was just a try it and see type thing. This time round i know when my period was, when we did it, and when my period should be, and i have still got over a week to wait. I am going to end up in the loony bin at this rate.
Also i need a bit of a rant, to get some stuff off m chest before DH comes home and lectures me about over reacting.Can i rant? Hope so. If it is against the rules, tell me later.
ANyway, i went out this morning with friends from my DD post natal group - we have been together over 2 years, and all get on well. I always thought i was closer to one than the other. They all now what has happened in the past few months - we were all squashed together, when the closer friend announced that she was pregnant, for the third time, and really didn't know how it happened. I know life goes on, but this particular friend has never phones me any more, not even after my miscarriage, she hardly ever sees us and i just feel that she was completely insensitive. i have come home, put dd to bed and sobbed, and idon't even think it is about her being pregnant. Oh i am not making any sense now. I'll be back when i have calmed down.

Bobbynog - use this thread for whatever you like - ranting is definitely allowed! I find that haveing a good moan/chat/rant on here saves my dh some grief when he gets home, I get it all off my chest here so he doesn't bear the brunt. And of course, on here, we are all in more or less the same boat, and we all understand exactly how the others are feeling - more so than even our dh's, you know?

your 'friend' is being insensitive, imo. but I have found that in general, only those who have experienced m/c firsthand are sensitive to your feelings. (That's why this thread is so good!) She doesn't sound like much of a friend if she didn't even phone you after your m/c, but perhaps she just wouldn't have known what to say, or how to deal with you. that's fair enough. I found that after my m/c, people who not only sympathised, but also asked me how I was feeling - and then listened to my response were the ones who made me feel a lot better. The ones who didn't really say anything made me feel somehow guilty and awkward - as if I had done something wrong for making them feel uncomfortable. I don't know if I'm explaining myself properly, but I hope you know what I mean.

Have a good, long cry. Cry till you are wiped out. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel just a little bit better. It's just one of those days when it all still feels so raw, but it will pass. Hope you're feeling better soon. x

Forgot to add - the waiting is driving me insane! I'm on CD 27 of a hopefully 28 day cylcle. I even did a test on Tuesday (BFN!) but now I'm determind to wait until sunday. Or at least tomorrow night.

Thanks www - dh didn't get such a hard time when he came in thanks to the power of mn! I am off for the weekend, but will check back on monday - fingers crossed for you.

Good luck WWW - I know its a bit late for that - u already are or aren't iyswim but sending positive vibes anyway. I saw your other thread about CM and I had loads for weeks when I was pg with Isaac, right from time of conception. I currently have watery CM so according to posyparkers posting about 'taking charge of your fertility I'm heading for my AF - about time too as its now 5 weeks since Isaac died and I'm still losing on and off.

Lots of good luck to you too Smole - everything crossed for you

Had to go to Occupational health yesterday and was hoping to go back to work next week but Dr has signed me off 'til 1st June! I walked in quite confident, feeling okay but got upset when he asked me to go through all details of what led up to m/c etc so he said I need more time to recover and to go to counselling before I return to work. If I didn't work in NHS, I bet I would have been back at work by now. I also think going back to work would be better for my wellbeing anyway. Grrr!

Oh Ruthlouise.
You know you might be right about going back to work helping you get back normal, but also I think we all have a tendency to throw ourselves back into work too soon, to try to bury things. Although June seems an awful long time at the moment, this will be the last opportunity that you'll have to grieve properly and openly. When you go back you might be surprised and hurt at how quickly other people appear to have forgotten what has happened to you. What I mean is, but am finding difficult to word, if you go back and are 'seen' to be coping well then people will think that you are 'over it' when you know you are not.

However, having said that, surely you are able to insist on coming back earlier if it is 100% what you feel is right for you?

Bobbynog - how do we cope with waiting?? Well I don't. I was like you...an obsessed basket case. All of you who are waiting your AFs have my complete sympathies - I find it excruciating. Keeping mega busy is the best way. Also, dare I say it, not coming on here at that time.....

Having taken this month off I have been sooooo loving not knowing where I am in my cycle. It has been bliss to completely forget about it (kind of). Although I have noticed things like CM that I can't help but notice, I got into bed two nights ago and realised that I hadn't a clue when my period was due!! How nice was that! I will be back on the old ttc wagon next month though.