TTC after a miscarriage - springy BFPs for festive beanies

[mygirllolipop]

Here's hoping for a shney new spring thread with lots of spring BFPs and some festive beanies so here's some sticky dust...
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Love and luck to all who need it, x

bugger it - AF appeared late last night. So pissed off. Been sobbing all night, but as dh points out, that won't help matter, will it? Just reminds me of the m/c.

How do you cope with the crushing disappointment?

Oh WWW ((((hugs))))) - actually, I think crying does help - certainly helps relieve all those bottled up emotions, 'better out than in' as they say. Hope you are feeling a bit better today. I guess the only positive thing is the fact that you seem to have a fairly short cycle? Not much consolation I know... As far as the 'how do you cope with the crushing disappointment' bit, I really don't know as I've not been there yet but I can imagine it takes a lot of inner strength which some of your previous posts have shown you have. Be kind to yourself and cry as much as you need to. Thank you for all your kind supportive words on here WWW.

weewilliwinkie, there is no special way to cope with it because you are just so, so disappointed. It kind of brings it all back, doesn't it? In my case I have found that it passes within a couple of days as I have started to be hopeful about the next cycle.

Rubles, sorry didn't mean to ignore your post earlier. I guess thats the sort of thing which shows I'm not ready to go back to work at the mo. My memory is really crap. Nothing is sticking - conversations, names etc. You do sound as though you are speaking from personal experience? To be honest, I know I really need to be 'on form' with my job's responsibilities and I'm not. If I went back to work against recommendations and did something wrong which affected one of my patients there could be huge repercussions. Its more a thing about my personality that I feel guilty because I've been off so long what with the 6 weeks bedrest before the m/c plus 5 weeks since. In any other circumstances we'd probably love to have so much time off work to do as we please wouldn't we.

Very quiet on here, guess you're all to busy BD'ing

Ho hum, still twiddling my thumbs and waiting for first AF, Now 5+2 since m/c....

Sorry about your AF, www, I know just how you feel! My DH shrugged and said "that's life", and then we proceeded to have a really lovely weekend in which he has been so loving and nice to me, so I don't feel too bad. Had lots of wine last night and he said to me "we still are trying you know", which reassured me that he has nit got totally fed uo with the whole ttc thing...(he does already have two kids, I have none, so it is not as totally crushing for him as me when things go wrong).

Well, anyway,let's all look forward to the new week. Ruthlousie, I sympathise, I would go batty if I had to be off work so long...

Thanks for your kind words...feel better now. I had spent the 2 weeks leading up to af telling myself that I wouldn't be pg, definitely not - trying to calm down my hopes, but that little thought is always at the back of my mind - maybe, maybe... so when af actually did arrive I was gutted. Never mind. Have started temping - think I just want to feel a little bit in control of my body! Anyway, am trying to accept that it will happen when it's meant to be. Dh said that maybe my body just wasn't quite ready to carry another baby. Hope it's bloody well ready this month!!!

Hope you're all well and had a nice weekend.

RL - make the most of your time off work. If I were you I'd book up for some serious pampering! Get a facial, massage...you'll be back to the grindstone before you know it so take advantage.

Rubles, you were right about feeling better after a couple of days, and I am feeling positive about the next cycle. How long have you been ttc?

I am in the same position as you www, and am going to be positive about the next month and do all I can to be healthy, relaxed and ttc! Let's hope things go well and that our bodies ARE now raedy again!

Hi Everyone,
We are ttc have a dd aged 19 months and has m/c in Feb, 1st month of trying again and this week is ovulation week so fingers crossed!!

welcome elliepippamummy - here's some babydust to help your week along ....
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and for anyone else in need of a boost...

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Waiting for my first AF since m/c is driving me nutty. Now 5+3. Had my first counselling session with hospital counsellor today which was okay I think.

Is anyone else having problems thinking / memory problems particularly since m/c? Can't remember names, things just read, Can't recall facts that you know well? I have to read things through several times just to get the gist . I feel so stupid. And yet, I feel like I'm actually doing okay re bereavement.

Wanted to say something supportive to you WWW and Nicola63 but as stupid as it sounds, I can't think of the words - how about a (((big hug)))
maybe there'll be a burst of BFP's next month 'cos its been a while since one on this thread hasn't it (think Oinkers was the last?). Perhaps something akin to waiting for a bus when they all arrive at once?!

How are you doing ruthlouise? I had my first wedding anniversary yesterday and we had a lovely celebration together. It's been a hard year in some ways, with the 2 m/c's and all, and I had so hoped I would be pg by this time, but it was not to be. Luckily the marriage itself is very happy (after a previous disaster of a marriage which lasted 17 years, about ten years too long) so there was a lot to celebrate.

Hello. Can I join you? I've been lurking for ages since my second miscarriage in September 05 (11 weeks, found out at the scan - pretty grim). We started trying again after Christmas but then had to put it on hold for a while because I had to have treatment for an abnormal smear test. Ovulation tomorrow but can't quite make up my mind whether to go for it or not this month. I'm not sure everything has healed yet.... (sorry if TMI!)

Hi Neolara

I think it is one of those things where you need to decide, I have to say that when I had my m/c in feb I was all for trying again straight away, but then when I thought about it i think body needs time to sort itself hence waiting until now. My friend had 3 mc all in a row where she ttc o sson left it a few months fell pg and now had a bautiful baby boy aged 6 weeks!

Oh well - it is not happening this month. My period came on Tuesday - 6 days early, so now i will struggle to work out my cycle. Also, when it came a felt a "pop" and then a gush, and then wet knickers, with a bit of blood in it - what does that mean? Sorry if it too much info!
I feel sad today - i think i would be able to cope better if i were pregnant, but in reality i will probably be worse.

Hi bobbynog,
sorry to hear your af came - mine did too, and mine was 2 days early. Such a bummer. I'm just trying to focus on this cycle now, and convince myself that once my body's ready, I'll conceive again. I know how you feel. I still sad times, but now, 9 weeks since my m/c, I can honestly say I think I'm over it. That sounds heartless, and I don't mean it to, what I mean is that I'm able to accept that it happened and look forward. But I will always carry this little piece of sadness around with me, and I'll never forget the baby that I lost.

hope everyone is feeling fine...nicola, congrats on your anniversary, sounds lovely!

Thanks www - most of the time i feel fine and "over it" but today for some reason i am really fed up! Tomorrow is another day, and i am sure i will be back to my normal self.
DH made me laugh last night - we are a sex at the weekend couple, so he suggested next month we try it on a "school night"! Blass him!

Hello again, still quite new to this thread, but just wondering what everyone's thoughts were on gaps to leave between MC and TTC? It seems that opinion is divided on whether there is a higher chance of another MC if you try again too early.

I've finally stopped bleeding (TMI, I know, but I just had to share it with someone and I can't shout it around the office (well I could, but everyone would think I'm madder than they already do!). Anyway, 11 weeks since my first little spot that signalled my missed MC, 2 ERCPs later and I think it might be finally over!

Anyway, DH is off to Iraq in 8 weeks, so really want to know if we should give it a go now, or wait until 1st AF (which could be months knowing my previous cycle patterns!). Although don't know why I'm worrying, it took 2 years to conceived DD and 10 months to get pg with the mc.

Sorry to have gone on so long, any advice greatly received.

BTW, don't think it is at all heartless to say you are over it. It's a very tough thing going through an MC, particularly fending off the "how are you today?" questions, when anyone being nice to you makes you cry. I have to admit that I found it quite nice when I realised I could talk about it without crying again - time to move on, but you're right, I'll never forget this little one!

Babyfettle - 11 weeks, you poor thing. No wonder you want to shout it across the office. I remember when I had my first neg pregnancy test after mine and I was so happy I started crying. The health care assistant was a bit of a doofus though and said, 'what, don't you want to be pregnant?'...duh! But that is another story.

I get the impression from reading around that you can start ttc as soon as you want and most people want to start immediately - or certainly those on this thread. Go for it now if you want, especially if dh is going away. They only tell you to wait for dating purposes. I think I took it quite hard when I didn't get pregnant the first time though, harder than I would have pre-m/c, so prepare yourself for that, just in case.

Bobbynog - sorry you're feeling so disappointed but don't worry, the time will fly by until you can start at it again - it is the 2 week wait that drags.

I got AF today so I am looking forward to ttc this month. I enjoyed having a month's break but feel like I can do it again now, especially as we are going on a 2 week break to an isolated villa in Spain - perfect, I reckon!

Thanks Rubles! I think I remember reading your thread, or least remember the heartless comment following your negative test, way back when I first mc. Awful! Enough said. Enjoy your time in Spain - both my pg were conceived on holidays, so definitely the best relaxing time to try.

Anyway, we will give it a go too - besides, however patient and supportive DH has been, I think he's getting desperate IYKWIM! I think Sept (EDD) might be hard enough with DH away, so it would be nice to think I might be pg again by then. But I won't get my hopes up too much in the meantime.

Fingers crossed and postive thoughts for everyone.
Take care
x

Hi everyone
Still twiddling my thumbs waiting for first AF. Have finally stopped bleeding from m/c although prob tmi still bleed when bding. I can empathise with you babyfettle, my bleeding has been going on for nearly 12 weeks too (6 weeks prior to m/c)

~Hi Nicola63 - congratulations on your anniversary. Glad to hear you had a lovely day and have a bit of a reprieve from some of the recent pain nad loss. I also stayed in my first marriage for 15 years which went past its sell by date.

I plucked up courage to pop into work yesterday and everyone was lovely whuich was nice but also made me feel more guilty about not being back at work yet. Occupational health might have been right last week but even after having had one counselling session, I feel so much more 'together' and stronger. Must admit it was nice to get out into the garden today and tend my seedlings in the greenhouse. Very therapeutic. A bit of my own medicine being an occupational therapist I reckon!

Rubles - when are you off to Spain? isolated villa sounds great. We are off to Cyprus in 3 weeks but the villa has the owner living nearby so we'll have to shut the blinds!!

Hi everyone - how are you all doing?
Thanks for letting me spout off on here for the past couple of weeks - i am back to normal again and am feeling positive!
Any news ruthlouise? I am trying reflexology to help me relax a little - i think it is helping, but it is also nice to have an hour just to myself each week!
Rubles - hope you have a good time in spain

My obstetrician wants me to go for a pelvic ultrasound this week, to see if we can see what has happened to the uterine adhesions which I suppopsedly had prior to my m/c in February, and also what the follicles in my ovaries are doing (should be ovulating in next few days). He also possibly wants to do a hysteroscope, but I don't want to do that at this time of the month in case I get pregnant in next few days...so will have the sonar on Thurs afternoon and see what's going on. Hope to see a follicle all revved up to produce an egg! Meanwhile, plenty of bd this week in order to be sure to catch the right day...(no complaints about that in my house!!)

Nicola63 that sounds interesting looking at your follicles. I hope you see a massive one just on the point of bursting, that would be fascinating. I hope there are no fibroids too and you get a clean bill of health.

I am going into pre-holiday overdrive. Making list upon list upon list, washing, shopping, getting waxed etc. AF just finishing so that is good, I am in that happy & hopeful frame of mind that I am always in before ovulation. Starting to get in the mood for luuuurve too! Ah, the world is a different place when the sun shines.

Hi,

Not posted for a while. Think I might be revving up for first af after mc. Lots of pains down below and also very sanppy - poor ds! Also been quite tearful and sad over the weekend. There seems to be a lot of pg ladies aorund at the moment which is making me feel quite sad. Keep thinking I should have been able to feel the baby moving soon in another week or so

This has taken me by surprise as I thought I was 'alright' about it all

oh Cece, it is so hard. Even after 3 months, I find myself thinking about everything. I keep thinking I'm getting back to normal, but everyone seems to be pregnant at the moment! A work colleague of DH told me on Monday that she is expecting in Nov. As I don't know her very well anyway, I hope she didn't think I was too rude when I wasn't gushing with happiness for her - which of course I am, but it was such a shock for her to just come out and say it. I think she did feel awkward about it as it just came up in conversation and she knows about my MC.

Anyway, have you managed to persuade DH that perhaps he would like another baby yet?

We've made the decision in the end not to wait for 1st AF, as my complications following my 1st ERCP carried on for weeks and started TTC as soon as bleeding stopped after 2nd ERCP. Unfortunately only had one chance at BD-ing before DH went away last Saturday for 2 weeks, but my BBT has risen, so I know we did actually BD on the exact right day! Trying not to get my hopes up as the next 10 days tick by. Would be extremely lucky to have conceived on one go!!

Hope everyone else is ok
Big hugs to all