BFP in 2012- a thread for winkling-advice and COD-avoidance!

[wishfulthinking1]

So... here we are!
In a positive move to avoid monthly heartache this is the thread where we'll ttc in 2012.

"will there be winkling?" of course!
"will there be tinkling?" too right! you filthy buggers
"will there be time in the COD?" probably- but it'll only be short lived!
"will there be BFPs?" YES YES YES!

A pledge! do you think I'm taking this too seriously?
I, wishfulthinking, promise to ttc with all my might. I accept that ttc is a long, drawn out process and I shant allow myself to become too obsessed with the process in 2012. (if I remain in-duffed at new year, however, I reserve the right to be right royally pissed off with life and everyone in general!)

Who's with me?

Wishfulthinkng1- ttc numero 1- expecting a sticky BFP on July 31st (and at 28 day intervals thereafter!) Days till wedding - 6!

Xxx

All sounds good for the job then kick. Interviewing is a pain is the bum though so hope you find out soon. Short term contract could work out well too.

I haven't been on the pill at all and I still get a large amount of CM. Usually anyway. I noticed last month it was quite lacking actually which in my mind I decided meant maybe I didn't ov but I haven't researched that or looked any more into it. It's back this month though for sure!

I think that's where my logic in the difference between CM is and each of our bodies responses to it. I doubt it's actually indicative in any stage of the month as it differs so much from person to person.

I've another interview on Wednesday for another big brand.

Feel like a bit of a biatch. DH is suggesting he gets a job to wherever we move to. I think it's a bit of a slap in the face because I tend to earn less, then travel more and still have to get home and do the wifely chores. I don't care about the salary but I genuinely do think that whoever is home more should do more around the house. I know its a generally accepted norm but he really is shite as seeing things that need to be done and doing them.

It's not that he is lazy but we really do have different views on what is clean or not. I am a freak (admittedly so) and need to feel the house is clean and everything has it's place. It's this OCD that made sure I have my diabetes under control in record time. But it also makes me VERY concerned that I will have a full time job, be pregnant full time and be tired full time, then have to commute and DH lives the life of leisure. I'm being unfair. I am sure he will do more once I am back at work...

The commute would be 4 hours a day from the place I want to live, whereas about 3 hours as day from the second option. I thought the good thing about the commute in would be that at least we could spend that time together and it wouldn't be such a chunk out of our days.

I do feel like a very jealous, nasty person for being uptight that my DH can work close to home. But I also think it's unfair if he gets a his dream job near his dream house and gets all his boxes ticked but I have to schlep it all over the country and then some.

And it's a LONG commute. I would do it if I knew I wasn't alone

Terrible wife, right?

I am smiling and nodding at but we really do have different views on what is clean or not. A very similar situation in our house.

If you want my honest advice - don't sign up for a 4 hour commute. Having experienced a 3 hour commute for 7 months, I really don't want to recommend anything more than a 60-90min commute a day. Why? Because to put it simply no matter how you try to look at the positives of commuting in together - it will just physically drain you. You don't have "me" time when you get home - its cleaning, dinner, DTD and sleep. I know its 9 months only, but you will have to be a brave soldier to get through that with a 4 hour commute.

Ok now you can tell me where to go!

No the thing is that we did this before - you're 100% right. I battled with a 2.5 - 3 hour commute and it was a big contributor to why I resigned (the company was crap as well) but DH worked within 30mins of his company and I get REALLY jealous

Especially since the housework didn't get divvied up in half. We did fight a lot more as well because I want to lie in bed for an extra hour instead of get up whenever I fancy. But I get up and take meat out the freezer and then get home later and still cook dinner and tidy and stuff and then have to do that all over the weekend and washing during the week.

I'm glad it's not just us though. It's a crap commute either way and I really did think it would be ok if we were at least in the same boat. But he came out and said he would be looking in the area we're moving to (potentially) and the green monster popped out and I freaked out that he would just totally have an extra 3 hours a day and he would have FUN while I commute and work and get to do all the rubbish stuff AND it's not even for the lions share of money!

I do feel bad for feeling like that though.

And since I am really aiming to be a SAHM and hopefully consultant and play in my own time (won't be consulting and playing as we all know!), I am really seeing the benefit of being at home and running our home the way I like it but I just can't do it when I'm working.

And I also make a point of really thanking him when he does do things. Last night, he hung the washing out and he really does try hard but its all scrunched up and I wait for him to go to work so that I can straighten it out so it dries without creases and I don't have to iron everything.

I make a point of not correcting how he does it because I think it's really unfair of me and I won't re-hang if he is home because it would be a massive slap in the face. So I am happy to do stuff because then it gets done how I like it (god I am pathetic)... :(

It's perfectly acceptable to think whoever is home more should do more housework I think. That just makes sense. I wouldn't sign up for such a long commute, I've never lived in London though and I know commuting is a Londoners fave thing to do! seriously though, I used to have about an hour-90min commute and even that was too much. Money might be good but doesn't make for a good quality of life in my opinion. Could be balanced if you could work from home a couple days a week I suppose but personally I wouldn't do it.

I think if I was in your shoes I'd feel the same. Infact I'd make a big deal about it.

Now things are different but back then we had a lot of arguments and I was so physically shattered. DH worked 20mins near home. I was and

It got us to change a few things so when I commute:

DH - does the laundry, ironing (albeit not as well), takes bins out, hoovers, and washes dishes (albeit not as clean & usual piled up) puts the dishes away, sorts the bills and banking.

Wife - Cooks, cleans (lots of domestos and cif involved) and dusts on the weekend. Full Stop.

I resigned from all those duties when I was commuting. And the roles reverse when he commutes however I still end up cooking as well! I just never take the bins out - that is just such a mans job (I am not sexist at all!)

Touche Dulcet I sacrificed my quality of life - I learnt that after I got a job nearby and now have a 60min commute. Even that will change when I have kids.

TBH - I'd happily be a housewife for a few year And I started off as a hard core ambitious career minded person. If my colleagues hear me say this they will think I am insane. But lately I have been thinking of a complete career change post kids.

Sorry I am including total commute time there and back. So about an hour - 1hr30mins commute either way. The place I really wanted to move to will be about 2 hours one way which is just too much

I will chat to him about it. I'm glad it's not just me though - it's so easy to think I am being unfair and mean. I think men are also good at being conveniently wounded!

Sorry for the moan and thanks for the feedback...

red Same with me. I was a career, I don't want children person until a couple years ago. But I also think that if we are lucky enough to afford for me to work part time or from home, then I would rather do that for their formative years. I don't want to have kids and then ship them off to school and never see them. We're lucky though - we can afford it a bit...

Hi all...you all chat so much!

I've been so busy at work I've not been able to post for what feels like ages :-/

Sorry if I've missed any BFNs or bad news and not acknowledged it.

Hi to any new people :-)

My commute is about 75 mins each way. I'm kind of used to it after 2 years.

I am forced into being a career person for the foreseeable future. I have consistent work and will be starting to train as a lawyer next year. H2B is a builder / joiner with uncertain wages.

So, he's going to be a stay at home dad and I'll be working full time, purely because I'm the one who will have to support us as the higher earner.

Once I'm qualified I'll look for a job nearer to home and assess things then.

Good luck with your interviews, kick.

Oh, and my clean is really NOT H2B's idea of the same thing. He does try to be helpful, however. :-)

kick I think you're married to my husband! DH is not lazy by any stretch of the imagination, but he just doesn't seem to see when stuff needs doing. Actually that's a little unfair, he will run the hoover round unprompted and will empty the litter tray at nights. But it wouldn't even cross his mind to his the kitchen/bathrooms so much as a cursory wipe round.

I've never really minded before as I'm quite happy in the homemaker role and like some of you fancy myself as a SAHM for the early years followed by a career change. But DH has been working from home or very locally for the last few months and it has started to grate a bit given that I commute almost 2 hours each way to my job in London. It's just so tiring. He is working very hard though, and very long hours so I'm not complaining too much.

kick I do understand your concerns about the commute - DH and I used to commute together, and I think if he was now off gallivanting at 5pm each night I'd be way less understanding. Tbh though I've found that I almost (almost!) enjoy the long solo commute now - I try to use it as brain reset time before I get home so I'm not still in work mode and can just get straight on with my/our evening. It's really not that bad

My DH sounds similar!

I always used to be really driven and ambitious but I'm finding that my priorities are changing. Our plan is for me to be a SAHM.

I'm lucky that I've never had a particularly long commute to work.

kick good luck with the interview.

Whew! 1hr 30mins is not so bad. you had me worried thinking it was 4hrs. And thought it might be a London thing!

Yes I don't think we can afford to be on one wage so I might still hv to reconsider what I want to do after I have children. I unashamedly am high-maintenance...like a lot of material things and love going on holidays. So I think a part time job would be better than a housewife.

Dh is home earlier than expected ;) let the baby making commence! I so want to be preggers now.....come on el eggo and spermie!

My hub works closer to him and he's fab as he does the cooking and cleaning! Got a good egg there ;)

@kick. Say goodbye 2 a clean house when little kickette comes along.Along with eating, drinking and basic hygiene for the first few wks.

Iv been reading your commuting posts and your all gonna hate me. I live by the sea, literally cross the road and your on the cliff and can walk 2 wk in less than ten mins. I don't cos I have 2 either drop dd 2 nursery or my mums, but I can when I want. U do take it for granted. I live in a lovely safe town, countryside 10 mins drive and beach on my doorstep. Which is where we've been 2day.
Dd been winkling, so we've just boiled emn and tried 2 get her 2 try some. She wasn't keen.

Dp also pretty good. Although he has 2b given instructions, he doesn't see dirt either. But is a demon with an iron. I haven't ironed for 4 years.

RIBs I just read "dd been winkling" as your dd has been winkling after dtd.
I am assuming you mean she was picking winkles on the beach - do we have to call social services?

I too am lucky to live near the sea. 5mins walk to the beach, it is beautiful and quite touristy but I think you are right you do tend to take it for grated when it is on your doorstep.

Lol whenshewasbad I had to read RIBS post twice too!!

Haha- glad it wasn't just me!!
P.s. winkle I literally spat out my tea when I read your sneezing advice this morning!

Yeh I have to say - I wondered the same thing. My mind shuts down when I try to decipher text speak

My husband and I have spoken (see argued) about what's going to happen we move. I think we've both been getting our knickers in a twist and it's not really worth arguing about it now.

God I hope I fall pregnant soon. At least I'll have something to look forward to with all the commuting.

But commuting it will be!!!

I don't mind the house getting messy but I can't have time to tidy. If I have time to tidy, I get very OCD about how clean it needs to be.

Actually read it again and it really looks like you boiled your DD too

I've got a cooking and cleaning DP too - isn't it great!!!

Anyway the reason I'm here is to ignore all your posts and just talk about myself right now cos I'm in a bit of a flap!!!!
(At least I'm honest)

See the thing is the fact I have not yet had an AF since termination has really been playing on my mind and when I was clearing out my wardrobe the other day I found an old tesco PG test still in it's packet - so at 3am I wee'd on it but there was nothing not even a control line and to be honest the bit you wee on felt dry like I had missed the target. So I took it and put it on my bedside table (I was so tired) I then fell back to sleep and didn't check it until 5am when low and behold there was 2 lines!! Believe me I am not getting my hopes up or getting excited about this cos a) I left it way to long for it to truly be positive b) it could open a whole new can of worms with DP after our revalations the other day!!

So I'm due to the docs this AM anyway as I believe I have bacterial tonsilitis (great) and I wanted to nip it in the bud as I go away tomorrow ans I'm 30 on saturday. So I was thinking of asking if they could test me!!

I feel a bit like UHOHHHH! And ooooooh and fuck! And well whatever and Naaaaah!!!!

Urgh!! What a polava!!

Lol it wasn't just me re-reading ribs post last night I really hope dd was not winkling as in mn speak! And what did you boil? What's an emn!

Fearne cotton is pregnant too

Storm can you do another test? POAS soon!

I agree with Red, Storm, get POAS again ASAP!

storm your quite clearly completely mad to do anything requiring the tiniest amount of brain power at 3am! what time is your doc's appointment? Deep breaths and don't get your hopes up just yet....