BFP in 2012- a thread for winkling-advice and COD-avoidance!

[wishfulthinking1]

So... here we are!
In a positive move to avoid monthly heartache this is the thread where we'll ttc in 2012.

"will there be winkling?" of course!
"will there be tinkling?" too right! you filthy buggers
"will there be time in the COD?" probably- but it'll only be short lived!
"will there be BFPs?" YES YES YES!

A pledge! do you think I'm taking this too seriously?
I, wishfulthinking, promise to ttc with all my might. I accept that ttc is a long, drawn out process and I shant allow myself to become too obsessed with the process in 2012. (if I remain in-duffed at new year, however, I reserve the right to be right royally pissed off with life and everyone in general!)

Who's with me?

Wishfulthinkng1- ttc numero 1- expecting a sticky BFP on July 31st (and at 28 day intervals thereafter!) Days till wedding - 6!

Xxx

My OPKs don't work so I should be in the 2ww any time between now and well, when AF arrives...

DH and I have decided to not tell anyone (if we can!!) until we get the 3 month ok. I couldn't doing the chem pg again (luckily, we'd not told anyone).

Actually, we so very nearly told my brother but I wanted the line to get darker before we told them. It obviously never did.

Thats the thing - I want to avoid telling close family till the 3 month mark at least. Don't know I will keep the news to myself. Probably tell my mum at 6/7weeks. then hold out on the rest.

recovering from vino nights. i think i'll def miss when I'm pregnant. don't know how i'd ever go off it.

Anyway i'm thinking of starting to pee on opks today. It says I need to do it at the same time everyday - do you guys recommend a particular time of the day? The thing is - i don't think i could stick to the same time every day. I mean you know when a girl needs to go....you have to go have a wee!

I thought I may privately message you and a few other people, red and then maintain the excitement there. I think I would feel awful if something was wrong and having to tell people and then console THEM just puts me off.

I try FMU but it doesn't work. I don't get positives. I've heard FMU doesn't work for some but I also know I only ever had a positive at 11am and again at 7pm (on a TEENY trickle of pee!) so maybe later in the evening?

Congrats on the bfn Woody (feels odd to say that) at least you can start a fresh now.

kick red I know what you mean about not wanting to tell people until you get to 3 months. I would probably have to tell my mum and dh's parents as they would probably notice the morning sickness and exhaustion.

Oh MY God ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

I JUST GOT A POSITIVE OPK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

How on earth am I going to be on a positive pregnancy test?

Hi everyone. Ive been a bit of a flake so far on this thread, ive eiher been too busy out galavanting or feeling like shit.

Congrats kick I remember my first positive opk - I was shocked/excited/amazed/thrilled. Your bodys working again lady!! Get to it, hangover or no hangover - Mr Kick wont know what hit him.

mersea hope the acupuncture goes ok. It doesnt hurt at all. Im back off their on Weds for a good pricking!!

Clomids making me ill, ill, ill AND ive gained 3/4 stone in 6 months with it. Ive got one more cycle after this but I just dont think my bodys up to it. Plus im going to have to lose the f**king weight as well, cos my clothes are bursting. God knows how, I eat healthily, excercise often. If I do anymore It'l cut into the time I see DD and when you work full time, the last thing you want to do is be at the gym instead of with your little monkey.

Cos Iv been feeling so crap, hardly DTD at all so far, not for about a week, I dont think iv ov'd yet but im starting to get some ov pains so hopefully DTD tonight and ov in the next few days. Its not like me normally im quite positive about it all, depsite TTC for 20 months now, but its getting me down and im not far off jacking the idea in entirely. I dont know how much longer I can go on like this. Sorry its all me me me.

Woooop!! Go kick! Someone's DH is getting lucky tonight :o:o

Woody glad you're all sorted and ready to jump back on board the crazy train.

In terms of having to tell people, we're quite lucky in that our families don't like locally, so waiting for the 3 month mark would hopefully not be too difficult - I would think I could get away without telling anyone except my best mate who lives round the corner. The excitement would be contained by being on MN :)

He has been lucky most days this week but now we have PURPOSE! Next 4 days - humpalot

And I don't have to rumpy pumpy for the next 10 days either. It's like HEAVEN.

AND it's CD15! I mean - CD15 on a normally 29 day cycle? Can someone tell me that that looks positive? That I may just be a teensy bit fertile?

This is the third time I've had an OPK in over a year.

RIBS

You need some time to try and focus on yourself. Can afford a day out at the spa? Can you and your husband try go off somewhere for a couple days (drag DD with of if she likes being at grandparents, drop her there)?

We get so bloody tied up in the TTC business that I think we forget to live a bit. You need to live. And if the Clomid is making you feel shit, then it's compounding. I said to DH only last night how much of a failure I feel and I think we forget that. I think we don't allow ourselves to think how we really feel because it hurts to feel like that.

I'm sorry you're having such a rubbish time. I wish I had any help or advice :(

Thanks kick Had a surprise spa day last week for my bday. No idea about it my mates literally kidnapped me from work and we were off. Ive had a lovely time, my friends really are marvellous, and ive been keeping myself busy being out and about. But I just feel so bloody empty. I think im busying myself so I dont have to think about how shit I feel. Im almost in tears at work as I type. Which is NOT like me at all. I think its maybe the clomid making me over emotional. My body doesnt work without it and its screaming at me to stop taking it. Basically im fucked!

I know there are people worse off and I should be grateful for what I have, but its worn me down. Im way past the virtual slap - I need a virtual shake and a good talking to.

BTW - Your cycle's looking Fab fab fab! Its really positive. X

Naw mate - I don't do virtual slaps or hugs but what I can tell you is that you CANNOT keep denying how you feel. You are perfectly allowed to feel like shit. I just started crying over a positive frigging ovulation test!

The thing here is that you can't keep lying to yourself and pretending that this whole thing doesn't hurt and that you don't feel you're doing all of this to yourself and yet, somehow, people prance on in front of you and fall pregnant first cycle, done.

I think the one thing that society doesn't let us do is really feel sorry for ourselves. When I was diagnosed, my mother told me to not feel sorry for myself and to just accept it. And the thing was that I did need to feel sorry for myself. Not ALL the time, but allow myself to slip into sadness for a few days and feel "why the fuck did I get this" and then pick myself off from that and dust myself off and carry on.

You do need to LET yourself feel sad or down or woeful. It's part of how you will accept the journey. If you are fighting the emotions, you're fighting the journey and that makes it even harder.

Don't be strong. Not for anyone. Be you. x

RIBS - speaking as someone who has personally perfected the ostrich manoevre as a defense mechanism (what? something shit's happening? ) I can wholeheartedly agree with kick that it doesn't work! Acknowledging and accepting your crappy feelings is the first step to feeling better - so right now if you feel like crying then toddle off to the bathroom and have a little weep....you'll probably feel a bit better for it. You have every right to be upset and feel down at the moment, and putting on a brave face isn't helping, so do yourself a favour and let some of those hormones out!

And yes, I did just dish out advice whilst openly admitting to doing the complete opposite myself. But in the wise words of my lovely dad "do as I say, not as I do" :o

I think we may be twins kitten! After finding out at 12 wk scan that pg had failed in Dec, I just got on with it - said there was nothing that I could do about it so no point getting upset. I think you're both right. I am upset, ive been upset about it for ages and I am fed up and pissed off with it all. There. Will go home later and have 10 mins with myself and then a wine or 2 with DP and a shag in case i am ov'ing.

Thanks girls. I think in a strange way I needed permission to be upset. That it is ok to let things get to you, rather than doing the "ostrich". Im such a wierdo, no offence ladies, but ive posting on these threads for some time, im in good company! X

I do understand what you mean. It's easy when you think that you're normal and that you're allowed to feel what you feel.

And you are. These threads are very difficult and I've no idea how you've stayed here so long and been positive.

I've hidden the August thread this morning.

"Will go home later and have 10 mins with myself and then a wine or 2 with DP and a shag in case i am ov'ing."

Now THAT ^^ sounds like a plan :)

kick I've deliberately steered clear of those monthly threads...it can be enough of a rollercoaster on these more 'relaxed' threads, so to set myself up for a fall over and over and over like that would drive me very quickly bonkers. And I'm only on cycle 4...you girls that have been at it for months on end and longer, with knock backs along the way...I honestly don't know how you all stay sane. On the other hand though, I also think it's lovely to know that there is somewhere like this to go when you need/want it. It's a double edged sword I think.

Hi RIBS good to see you back on the thread again but sorry to hear you are feeling shit and upset (you are allowed to feel upset)..

kick positive opk on cd 15 is ideal in a 29 day cycle. You will probably ov tomorrow (does little excited dance). I think you body has just about healed itself. It must be good to know all you hard work is paying off.

Im not going on it. I cant watch another load of BFPs come and go, some of which just come in to announce and go grrrr. Its clearly not going to be a quick job for me. Im not going to get all over excited and stressed on 2ww, I cant spend my life like that, its exhausting.

Im just going to enjoy the lack of summer, and dd and keep banging away. No idea how DP feels he's an ostrich too. He'l be able to see its effecting me but he wont bring it up.

Anyway enough about me.me.me.
Whats everyone up to this wkend - have a fair idea what you'll be up to kick you ovulating maniac!

Kick come join in the 2WW!
About not telling - we told no one until about 16 weeks. Found it surprisingly easy. It's nice to have a secret, I guess and one which will harm no one when it gets out.
Oh, to be in a position to have the tell/not tell dilemma

Last time I had a secret I was doing my very recently ex h's young fit mate. yum, yum yum! Body like a greek god. Oohh Im a sucker for big arms. Quite a few yrs ago that mind you. I do still like a toy boy. Im a proper cougar!

Wow thats cheered me up tho!

Our family and close friends were aware of the MMC so they'l all know we're trying and occasionally ask. Why do that. Surely if theres anything to tell, il let them know!

Hahaha thanks for the invite but I don't do symptoms or symptom spotting and I've just been doing it for too long to be overly bothered. I don't want to watch more and more people falling pregnant - not unless it's the guys I know... :)

RIBS - that's the attitude. I am going to have some wine - even though I know I shouldn't and all that rubbish. I have stopped myself on those monthly threads as well - I don't see the point. And the chippies that jump in and go "You don't know me but YAY I HAVE A BFP" and then they leg it. I want to punch em.

And yeh - I think exactly the same with my DH. The thing is for them is that we expect them to openly support us and show us love and attention and when it doesn't happen, they also can't sob on the floor like we do. They have to be strong and support us again and make us believe that it's ok and we will try again next month. No matter how hard it is for them. It must be difficult. I know how much my DH wants it but that week when AF arrives, he pushes his own issues aside and will console his absolutely sobbing wife month in and month out.

Whats everyone up to this wkend - have a fair idea what you'll be up to kick you ovulating maniac!

I was in the pharmacy and I totally snorted out aloud!

Then remembered it's the weekend!!

Yeah wine for me and DP too. Ill have a little cry I think, he'l give me a cuddle and tell me not to be a silly cow. Then ill nail him.

I took an EPO. No EWCM as yet so keeping an eye on that...

My DH is in for some rushing of pure lurving. And bits of non lurve that just get hidden with marriage.