TTC for 10+ months, part 8

[eurochick]

A friendly, supportive thread for those taking a blooming long time to conceive!

Can you ask the clinic what they advise? Are their det pregnancy rates any better than set? There are more risks with twins at every stage and I don't think these should be underestimated. Have you looked at www.oneatatime.org.uk/

But I'd rather have two babies than none. Sorry I'm not being ver helpful am I? You'll make the right choice for you I'm sure but I really would ask the clinic, they're the experts. Best of luck tomorrow, xx

Care get them both its a better chance and if it doesn't work with one you will always wonder what if.
Hi all I am still here but no longer laughing so have changed my name.
CD 27 waiting on AF. Sore boobs, bad temper and pain so its on its way.
Back at GP tomorrow to get referred back to Gyne and see if they have any suggestions around my endo in the hope that will help us. I'm not ready to accept we can't. I have also requested councelling through work but its going to be a while. Still thinking about pinebark too.
Sorry I haven't been around much and haven't name checked but I'm just too worn out with it all at the moment

Just to say best of luck tomorrow care I don't know what to advise but I'll say this... If it were me I'd be going for the double. Our friends have gorgeous twins and it was a hideously complicated pregnancy but they both made it and are just adorable. They've taken twins easiky in their stride. I'm sure after a sleep (if you can?) you'll know what to do. Ask theclinic too as MrsD suggested. Thinking of you and sending loads and loads and loads of luck and love your way xxx

Night all x

Care - good luck hon.

How many blasts do you have?

If more than 2, consider SET and follow this up quicly with FET if needed, possibly natural cycle. You would stand a good chance. SET allows you extra time to tweak other variables such as womb lining or whatever if needed.

If you have 2 blasts only (and considering not your first time), consider DET. I would be ok with twins. I know it would be real hard work - but I would traid in this misery for that hard work any day.

I think you are right to ask the universe. Get a pen and paper, don't 'pre-think' - just write down your decision. What does it say?

Let us know how you get on.

Good luck care. I don't know what to do re: transfer. I'd love twins, but be very scared about pg-complications.

Sorry things are bad bunny and I agree get the endo looked at properly. You should not be in so much pain and it can't be helping with TTC

I am just off to be scanned, fingers crossed for good growing follicles (so I don't do those bloody injections for nothing!)

Good luck care if it was me, id go for two. A friend of a friend recently had two embryos transferred and one developed. Maybe they'll be able to advise more at the clinic? I know the risks would concern me, but I'd still go for it. As a teacher I've known a lot of parents of twins and I would say yes, harder, but so lovely! Triplets have seemed more of a handful...

Will be thinking of you today.

Just read the previous page:

CONGRATULATIONS on your little boy kitty! And oh my god, how time flies! Over half way already!!

I like the idea of diffage coming in batches - next up is pout with the sextuplets :) If you have any spare, I'd like one too, poutster and I really hope your DH is man enough to do his part!!

And princess sorry about dusty camping/SWI at PiLs etc. But massive YAY for selling the flat, that is very good news, really. You sound like you're on top of things already! Maybe you want to organise my life too?

And frannie is back! Those hols sound good!! And loving the wiggy sideburns, you're just (slightly) ahead in the fashion stakes! Good luck with metformin and don't beat yourself up about trying to be as virtuous as princess, we can't all be superstars! Interesting that it is a side effect of metformin to choose a more bronw diet. Are you IUI-ing again any time soon?

The exploits of Simon make me smile buzzy! But the exploits of joycep's MIL make me I would find that somewhat offensive! MILs are an enduring challenge aren't they?!?

Sorry abotu AF being on her nasty way sarlat.

Thanks for all the sympathy and handholding. I am sure I'll be much better when I stop injecting the shitty hormones. Which will be soon, I hope. To be confirmed later today!

Waves and hugs!

Best of luck for today care. If I was going through it again, I'd go for two. My sister's friend had two put back in February and she's now pregnant with a boy and a girl (hard fought after 3 ICSI cycles). She's had a good pregnancy so far. But, you have to do what feels right for you.

sarlat - the baby aspirin is self-prescribed after my acu lady said my main imbalance was blood deficiency. It improves blood flow to the womb and ovaries - so it's supposed to make a healthier environment and healthier eggs too. As buzzy says it's often recommended after miscarriage.

I think I'm just over 5 weeks, I have a scan next Friday to check everything is as it should be so will, maybe, start to believe it's real then.

frannie - Nice to see you. I really hope it's the start of a gold rush for everyone here.

Thanks again for all the good wishes and for letting me stick around x

Will catch up later but care good luck today. If it was me I would go with the double put back. I would be hoping that both would implant , I would have a smooth pregnancy , I would have twins and would never have to think about TTC again. But I know there are other considerations to think about. Everything to do with ivf seems a bit like gambling but I would go with what feels most right.

Nelly why on earth does your hospital require your husband's signature to transfer YOUR medical records. I am sure that must be a breach of something or other. Grrr.

I'm laughing at conception housework. Is there nothing that ttc doesn't make worse?

MissM I hope your kitty turns up.

princess that is fast! Mind you, it would stop dithering and mind changing to get the contracts exchanged! When I was growing up, my parents moved regularly, mostly into doer-uppers. I have memories of washing salad with my mum, the water coming from an open pipe that was waiting for a tap... Dusty camping will be fine!

lady how frustrating (for me). I have tried that cocktail for months already. I will just have to hope that the finger turns to me soon anyway.

buzzy whenever I visit my SIL and BIL I ALWAYS seem to have my period. We only go a couple of times a year but it is always at that time. Their dog then spends the entire weekend jamming its pointy, cold nose into my crotch!

I have a bunion. I was considering treatment but I cannot face more drs now. I blame all the heels I wear - pretty shoes = ugly feet in my case. :(

joycep I'm shuddering at the 50 shades story. I'm curious but have avoided it so far on the basis of what I have heard about it.

frannie welcome back! I hope you had a lovely holiday. Do keep us posted on the metformin progress. It's logical that on met you would crave carbs and sugary things less as it stabilises your blood sugar.

Good luck today care. Having seen my closest friend have a difficult twin pregnancy (with just one embryo put back, but it split) and then be permanently exhausted coping with twins plus a toddler, I would personally opt for just one, but it is not an easy decision!

The Olympics is doing a pretty good job of taking mind off ttc. I am still getting ovary twinges somy body is trying to do something but it hasn't oved yet. It was a month yesterday since I took my last downreggng shot and I think it was sarlat who said that she'd heard it taked 4-6 weeks for the body to get back to normal, so hopefully it won't be too long now.

My stomach does a little flip every time I think of tomorrow's appointment but hopefully it will be fine and he can take a look and then leave me to wait for the NHS recall smear in December.

Rabbit ? the book sounds awful even though it sounds just like my sex life and haha at the Labrador making a beeline for you when you were going commando.

Buzzy ? sounds like you have a squirrel problem over at yours!

Pout / Princess and others who are shocked by MiL leaving it... I know! Mrjoy said to me last night...?why is the book wet?? I look at him horrified and he then realised how that sounded ...I think it has been dropped in a bath though.

Sarlat - i am making it sound like i got pregnant this month with my list of what i did differently(!).... I have been on progesterone cream since January and according to the menopause book, a lot of women conceive when they balance their hormones out with progesterone . This was the first month I didn?t use the cream and I didn?t have excruciating boobs for the first time since my miscarriage. It was just like the old days. So it was a bit of coincidence that this was one month where i really felt like something was going on. Plus i had a 12 day LP...which is unheard of for me and another factor in me thinking that something went on. Sorry about the spotting...all this fluttering going on is very odd. Obviously I hope AF doesn?t turn up so i will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Princess ? you are super organised... a mother in the making. Puts me to shame. Do you make your bed every morning as well? If i do have a baby, i?m going to have to learn to make the bed, put away my clothes and pick up the bath mat pronto so i have a half leg to stand on when i shout at the kids that they are untidy.

Frannie ? woohoo you are back and you are on metformin too. How ?s the clomid coming along? If it?s any consolation i devoured a whole packet of biscuits last night. MiL (she gets the blame for a lot of things) knows that we don?t like biscuits in the house because I can?t control the temptation . But she is one of those diet saboteurs and she left 3 lots of lovely biscuits on the side for us. I had one and it was like i discovered crack or something, i couldn?t stop. The other packets have now gone in the bin because that?s the only way i can say no!

Lemon ? good luck today...you won?t need it though of course.

My mother just called and so i thought i would tell her that i needed an op and about my appalling blood result. And she was like ?oh how do they know? That doesn?t sound right...i bet it?s wrong?. Calmly calmly, trying not to cry I explained to her that it wasn?t wrong, i wouldn?t be able to conceive naturally and i would need ivf. ?But you conceived so quickly before! I was older than you when you were conceived?. Cue me trying to explain my theories on immune problems... ?you must stop googling you know?. I said that i had to, i am on my own, the nhs only goes so far, there is no point doing ivf without testing my immune issues first and i finally got ?i am sorry darling?. It was a genuine sorry. I think she has honestly thought that relaxing is the way to get pregnant. She also never had a problem and no one has ever had a problem in my family so perhaps she was kidding herself. She didn?t get the menopause until her late 50s either and so it seems bizarre to her that my fertility is low at my age.

I don?t know why i always well up when i discuss this with my mum. I just feel overcome with feeling like such a failure and it makes it so much more real.

princess good for you on selling the flat and getting the price you wanted.

pout at least three follicles? How exciting! Lots of strength, speed and agility and navigatory abilities to MrP's sperm. In keeping with the olympic theme: Higher Faster Stronger!

sarlat I hope your feeling is right. Throw caution to the wind and dare to hope :) Shielding ourselves from hoping never really helps anyway, the disappointment is still terrible even when we've convinced ourselves it didn't happen so why not keep positive.

care good luck with embryo transfer! Twins aren't so bad, might actually be nice. The twins I know in adulthood have all been very balanced, they never had to know what it's like to be lonely or without some kind of support. From a mental health perspective, they seem to do quite well. Of course there are a different set of issues to deal with than with singles but I think there are benefits as well. I like sarlat's suggestion. Clear your mind and just write it down on a piece of paper and see which way your gut is leaning.

Hugs to you joyce

MrsDen Regarding the Tamoxifen, I read a post on another forum I'm on where the man had a total of 3 sperm (1 motile and 2 immotile) and after 3 months on Tamoxifen it rose to 800 sperm with 50% motility so it does seem to help a little with severe sperm issues.

All this talk about baby carrots is getting me wondering. Wonder if they still work when baked into a carrot cake. Must think on how to make carrot cake diet friendly. princess will let you know if I succeed. BTW I've made brownies with sweet potatoes and black beans before and they actually turned out alright. Can you have those on your diet?

No sign of kitty :(

Haha, I think that perhaps I have put myself in a rather bright shiny gold star swatty head girl light. I'm not a naturally tidy person but I am a bit like Monica from Friends when it comes to organising big events. My friends think I should be a wedding planner, except I would probably take over too much and piss everyone off. Anyone remember the episode where Monica is arranging Phoebe's wedding and has the headset. You get the picture! I organised my bestie's hen with meticulous attention to detail and everyone told me it was the best hen they had been too and that they had totally come 'round to the idea of organised fun. I'm sure that there was a compliment in there somewhere.... Moving house to me is a big event. Plus there was general hysteria and panic about the deadline. I moved loads when I was small, more during uni and I've been settled in the flat for 5 years - such a long time for me! I'm totally out of practice. Luckily we have regular purges of stuff, neither of us are hoarders and we have limited storage as the flat is all open plan, so we've learnt to prune and sell on ebay and try to buy more expensive but nice stuff and things we love from flea markets. This has taken some discipline and we still land ourselves with utter crap that later finds its way to the charity shop / gumtree / ebay / friends....(and we still get all the usual tat at xmas - again ebay) I found a ring that I got from an ex for my 21st and that's on ebay now, along with the CBFM, a shabby chic jewellery stand, some unused dior nail varnishes and an unusued benefit posy tint... all found gathering dust. I'd rather like to think that my ring may be a budget buy for someone who wants to propose to their girlfriend and has only got a small amount of money and see's the ring and it's perfect and they live happily ever after. Oh I'm such a sap!

Care I hope you got on ok today. Let us know how you are. Thinking of you. x

Bunny sorry you're still having a rubbish time. Hope you had a productive appointment.

MissM I can't have chocolate - sugar, dairy and caffeine. A big no no. But it's ok because I don't really like chocolate anyway. I lurve carrot cake though and if you come up with a good recipe let me know! DH did a variation but with loads of other stuff in. You can make a delish cashew nut topping too that's a bit like cream cheese frosting. It's what the raw food people like to do. Sorry that your kitty is still missing

Joy sometimes I make the bed in the morning, other days it gets left strewn with yesterday's pants, PJs and wet towels, other days it's neat as a pin with throw and cushions lined up. I'm sorry that you got upset talking to your mum, this is big stuff. I welled up over olympics stuff the other day. People succeeding or big parades of people make me cry at this time of the month, so you are totally allowed to cry when talking to your mum about the struggles you are having. Well done for being calm. It's important to keep her in the loop. Super glad she apologised and meant it. Let's hope this is a good sign for more support to come. at wet 50 shades... too. I haven't read. It sounds like a load of wank... well for want of a better word. I'm reading about a Polish lady who was a British spy during WWII (well I was up until the PANIC! house moving button was pressed) and it's very good. I love a bit of girl power.

Euro I loved the idea of you washing salad with your mum from a pipe. We will have lots of those kinds of stories to tell our kids!

Lemon FX for your appointment today xxx

Sarlat No one's going to judge you for positivity. I declare that September shall be ours! I obvs don't want to be too annoying with my upbeatness and it would be very unrealistic to say that I don't suffer with the old doldrums days. I just swing between the two - rapidly. This morning I stood in the kitchen, with cupboards empty, washing up everywhere and cried because my Dad laughed at me on the phone when he gave me a massive heap of work to do and told me that he hadn't explained the task very well to me last week (basically what you've been doing this week, but start again and do more and silly me for not explaining - ha ha haaa - shortly after an intense discussion about moving out, the flat sale, more negotiations and then how he was off to a wine tasting thing this afternoon and it's a beautiful day here in Italy) Oh and I let out a little wail about my jeans were tighter than they were last week (from the airing cupboard? Always smaller?). Oh dear. DH had to tell me that I'm probably coming to the end of the month (I always feel like company accounts) and not to worry everything will be fine. And now I'm fine again. Stupid hormones!!

Frannie Hey! There you are :) Now my three months are done and I've been told to relax a few naughty treats have creeped in. I'm mainly brown stuff with the odd naughty thing here and there. You missed my binge that made me feel roughty-rough at the beginning of this week. I also enjoyed a small glass of vino with my noodles last night. My halo is slipping... Don't beat yourself up. I hope that you are doing ok. When are you back up at the hospital? I'm there next month. I'm going to wear some aviators and a Franky say's relax t-shirt and maybe a camberwell carrot spliff sticking out of my pocket . Well he did tell me to relax?! I won't really, I'll go in sensible clothes and I expect I'll have that ashen, I still don't have a fricking baby look about me and he'll tell me that I'm obsessing too much. Hey-de-ho. How's your move going?

Righty well I'm off to deal with that massive pile of work. Hope everyone is ok. Waves to you all. xx

Oh and where's Artemis? Still on hols? Seems like she's been away for an age!

Hello lovelies!

I agree that crying is totally normal when you talk to people about the trauma of TTC, especially if it involves drilling messages into your mum, who has difficulties understanding joycep! But it sounds like you got through to her, which is great. The whole situation is just plain rubbish!

Fingers crossed things are waking up again, euro. I have been entertained or should that say drooling watching swimming lots. I might get another early swim in tomorrow morning.

The scan today was fine, there is action in the ovaries. Two follies ready to be triggered tomorrow (or Saturday, the big shot gets to decide that not the sonographer) one on each ovaries. So two or three injections to go and then a break. I was too much of a chicken to discuss my coping issues, so I might have to call them about that and find out what sort of support they offer later... Or tomorrow... Or next week.

Sorry about the absent cat missM. I really hope he/she returns :(

Princess Monica, my love for your father increases every time you tell something about him. He is great. Pleased you managed to come back down to happy princess-levels of hormones and stress. I just had a brown snack of nuts and thought of you.

How did it go, care? Hope you're okay!!

I'm loving the positivity sarlat and princess, I sort of feel it too. I know it's crazy for me to think this, but I think this autumn/winter is going to be it. I don't know why I think this and I'm worried that I'm building myself up for a big fall. It's much nicer to feel like this though that to be in constant doom mode.

kitty it's lovely to hear from you, I'd been wondering how you're doing. Wonderful news about baby kitty. Have you any thoughts on names yet?

ladygee it's amazing to think what a miracle conception is. Good luck for the scan. Don't disappear from this thread just yet, stay as long as you like!

joycep does your mil read the daily mail by any chance? There was an article on the website about how authorities are expecting there to be a rise in the birth rate next year due to people reading those books. If only it were that simple for us. Read a book, get turned on, have sex and bam you're pregnant. Maybe it will work for you?? Your mum probably hasn't got a clue about all this stuff, I think parents never like to think there is something wrong and so in her way she thinks the keep trying, relax approach is helpful. I'm pretty certain my mum would be very against ivf, I know she'd suggest adoption. I am liking our approach of telling no one at the moment because I don't want any anti ivf negativity coming my way. I have enough of my own doubts without others adding to the pot. There's a thread about conceiving and feeling total love or something at the time and this upset me stupidly because you can't get more far removed from that in an ivf clinic.

frannie is the metformin for pcos? Are you still on clomid? I'm still confused as to whether I do have pcos or not. My bloods now suggest not, I really want another scan to see.

missm very interesting about the tamoxifen. TBH though, I just want to get on with icsi now. It's our best chance and I feel like we've wasted enough time.

pout very exciting about the 3 poutlets. Thanks for remembering that I have first dibs. I feel really positive for you. Clomid is supposed to be quite successful but we haven't had a clomid success on this thread I don't think so it must be you.

DH spoke to the genetics doctor. She has advised that we now get the more advanced check for the CF gene. I don't fully understand, DH tried to tell me but it sort of went over my head. Basically they've checked for the most common 36 mutations, which DH didn't have. Now they're going to look for the others, and also check mine for the 36. But this means I have to give another blood sample and she's only gone and buggered off on holiday for 4 weeks. So it's yet more waiting. But I will feel much happier proceeding with ivf knowing that we've checked for rogue genes that might be causing the problem.

PIL are here. They've gone out for the day, yay! They are being ok, but MIL annoys me so much for no reason at all. I must try to be nice, I must try to be nice. Even DH said this morning that it would be nice to have our house back to ourselves and they've only been here 2 days!

princess uh oh, there are too many monicas on this board! I am guilty of this almost all the time. There is only one cupboard in my house now left to tackle - under the stairs. Everywhere else is gleaming and everything has a home. I'm itching to do it but held back by it containing heavy items (I still struggle to lift things without feeling I'm going to split open) and massive spiders. I told mr r today that I was excited about doing it but it is true. I like tidying and organising. It's probably good I'm a teacher and get to organise and boss around to my hearts content. Well done for tackling things gung ho though. Maybe someone will buy the ring and the fertility monitor together!

missm thinking of you and your cat. I couldn't find my rabbit for a few minutes the other day and was panicked so this must be awful for you (he was camouflaged under a hosta)

lemon hurray for follies. I'm also a total wuss at saying I'm not managing this very well anymore. I'm still putting off phoning the hospital.

Joyce I often cry to my mum and rarely to other people. I have found myself very fretful about the menopause, it's such a strange downward slope with no clear start or finish and I mental about where I am on the continuum. But peri menopause can last for years and years and it doesn't mean you can't conceive, there are a lot of good signs for you and in my trawling, your amh is by no means the end. Yesterday I had three full on hot flushes. One in yoga (could have just been hot) but then another two later on. I've never ever had that before so now I'm thinking oh dear god, it's all hot flash/dry fanny/egg extinction form here on in and I may as well get a blue rinse and be done with it. Maybe I should just grab the bull by the horns, get an amh and face up to my fear? Oh and I'm curious, did the cream not help at all then? It's odd that you didn't get sore boobs when you didn't use it. I wish some smart ass would invent a preg detection test that was more sensitive, I can't believe that hasn't happened yet?!

Carrie (sorry can't scroll up and forgot your new name ) I'm so sorry things still feel horrible. Keep hunting for answers.

ladygee that is the same as not drinking in my book I've already notched up 8 units since Sunday. But it's summer. And I like wine. Must try harder. But it is a backlash to my sober July. Which sucked.

Must resist under stair cupboard.

mrsd the total love thread has attracted a lot of attention from the bESH (the other long-termers I hang out with). Surely we've all had those moments of great sechs and thought "this must be it" and it never is. At least for me. We will feel total love for our babies however they are conceived.

I have no idea what is going on with me. I feel quite hormonal and pre-menstrual, but haven't even oved yet! Maybe I will have an anovulatory cycle and then get back to normal.

Cross post mrsden oh poo to more waiting. But I guess it will be a thing less to be worried about when you are pregnant. A rush of autumn bfps will be the best thing ever.

euro sympathies as I know how unsettling it is not knowing where your cycle has got to and when it will right itself. But my acu said that in her experience the body always rights itself to what it knows. When we first ttc in nov 2010 I had the only time I felt pregnant, my period was three days late and I bled for almost three weeks. I was too clueless to have early test and have no idea what threw things out. I can't remember ever mentioning it on here before. I had a period 6 weeks later. At the time I stumbled on a site that says when the body has a big shock or miscarriage 6 weeks seems to be the time it takes to get back on track. Oddly enough when I had proper swine flu about three years ago my period was two weeks late. I thought I was pregnant and got all in a tiz then promptly forgot about it. I bet this is how it pans out for you too, especially if there are twinges.

i feel better knowing it's not just me that was bothered by that thread euro. I bet the op does end up pregnant though and will update with, I have really sore boobs, metallic taste, feel sick, so tired blah blah but I'm scared to poas. Then after lots of encouraging posts she will and it will be two lines. The thing is we have had lots of those moments, but no BFP. I know that any baby I have will be the most wanted and most loved baby possible. Even if it did start life in a petri dish. Gah.

rabbit I had a period of feeling very anxious. I found I was waking up in the night totally terrified, gasping for breath. I think all this stuff is so much for us to deal with, so much uncertainty. I'm going through an ok period now, and I'm not sure I have any advice to help but to say that it's totally normal and not at all surprising. Big hugs.

euro I hope tomorrow goes okall you can do is listen to his reasoning and then make your own decision. It's your body and he can't force you into anything.

Oh and all the best tomorrow euro I hope they are understanding and listen properly.

about that thread. I used to think that. Especially as sex always seems to feel nicest during ov time. Now I just think it was a lovely shag and it doesn't occur to me to think that might have been The Conception.

Yeah mrsd that thread bothered me too. I have not looked back and if I am doing well (or be busy at work) I shan't!

Massive good luck for tomorrow at the gyno euro although I am sure you'll be fine, two high powered lawyery types versus one pesky consultant, he won't stand a chance :)

Btw on that fred, I have not once felt like that since TTC, but I do recall the sheer panic I felt when we had been a little carried away before and low and behold my period was a few days late. OMG I was shit scared and not on cloud nine loved up. Also that sort of moment seems to be called lust in our household.