TTC for 10+ months, part 8

[eurochick]

A friendly, supportive thread for those taking a blooming long time to conceive!

Thanks Buzzy for the hug. You're right. Yes Menopur 375.

care 8 eggs is great! I am sure that they thought they were just taking your mind off it, but if you have never experienced this misery, you just don't have a clue. I understand exactly what you mean about feeling normal again. I detest being a "patient" and being different from my friends and longing for something I can't have.

Morning, well am feeling a lot better today. Think it was a combination of bit of a come down from the drugs as well as a stressful event. You're right am sure it was far more to do with me hating being meddled with than them doing anything wrong!! Euro that's exactly how I feel, I hate being a patient, and being different, and am especially on the guard for anyone pitying me! Poor nurses, I will have to be on better behaviour next time.

But anyway, good news, we got the call to say that of the 8 eggs, 6 have fertilised! Same result as last time and really pleased with that. Just have to wait for a call tomorrow to say how they're getting on.

That's great news care! Go embies! Pleased to hear you are feeling a bit better and hope you aren't too sore. Have you got time off work? The nurses at my clinic don't seem to speak amazing English, so I've not had to endure chit chat, but I'm sure the last thing you need is someone twittering on about rubbish. Hope you are having a restful day. And do keep us updated. I have everything crossed for you. Oh and I'm not more cultured than you, just more of an alcoholic!

princess hope you enjoyed having your day to yourself. Good work on getting yourself banned from the renovations!

carrie hope your pre period pain has subsided.

I hope things have calmed down a bit with mil buzzy. Sounds like a difficult situation. She clearly has no understanding of how you feel.

Well done for surviving the christening euro. Thankfully most of my friends aren't religious, so we've not had to endure too many!

at the spider story rabbit. Wonder if the spider died with the horn, due to all the LH! Sounds like your cycle is back to normal, yay.

nelly we have a clinic appt a few days before my 34th birthday, but we're going away somewhere nice and foody that evening, so hopefully it will not be a totally rubbish day! I tend to come away from seeing the consultant feeling optimistic so hopefully it'll be ok. And I think it's great you've got so much on that you have no time to mumsnet.

missm do let us know about how mr m gets on with the tamoxifen. I will certainly be asking about it at our next consultation.

mrsd so sorry to hear about the failed exam and potential redundancy. When other parts of my life are difficult, I find it all so much harder cos of the ttc crap. Like others, I'm so impressed that you can speak a 2nd language well enough to work and negotiate ivf clinics, let alone take exams!

lemons I too found the idea of injections into thigh better than tummy!

Hi to sar, joy and everyone I've missed.

I had a dream that I was pregnant last night, which is always guaranteed to put me in a bad mood for the day. Meh.

Just popping on ladies for a quick catch up and realised that yet again there has been loads of chat that I've missed. I don't have a hope of remembering what I want to say!

carebear What a brilliant result. FX that the finger might show itself on this thread and it's you

gin hope that you are less pissed off bout CD1 and the dream. I also dream't about having a baby last night. It does make you feel really odd when you wake up.

mrsd Doing an exam in a different language is a feat in itself so take heart that you have achieved something amazing and haven't failed anything.
I too was a late starter in all things men, life and anything vaguely exciting!

Lemons at pissed posting

rabbit I did chuckle at your suicidal spider...

princess I like your MIB letter. If only Mr Smith would oblige. I'm glad that you had a nice anniversary break.

joycep To add my tuppence worth RE GA and lap, I walked into the room where I laid on a bed and they gave me the GA. I remember them putting in the cannula but it didn't hurt any more than a blood test though I did get an achey feeling in my hand. I also had a mask. I went to sleep very quickly. It wasn't frightening at all and the anaethestist (sp?) and his team were so lovely and kind. As for recovery the only bad part was the initial problem with weeing (but if someone had told me to expect it and that it was normal I wouldn't have panicked. Thank God Rabbit told me!) and the constipation. I was so surprised actually by how well I felt.

sarlat Like you I don't act pregnant during the 2ww either. The way I see it is that I could spend years TTC and need to make the process as sustainable and painless as possible. Also I reckon acting pregnant might tempt fate to work against me!

Well I actually feel loads better since taking my last Clomid pill. I still have moments of grotty moods but nothing like it was. Sorry ladies for being so woe is me and thank you for being so supportive. It mean't so much.

I also am still having chronic overheating episodes and am having trouble sleeping but that isn't too bad. Oh and joy of joys I have put on a ridiculous amount of weight, literally over a dress size. 90% of my wardrobe doesn't fit me, even my tops & bras which is worrying. I saw the consultant on Friday and she said that it is likely water retention and will pass... throws myself prostrate on the floor and prays that it will

On the positive front I have 3 big follies. I have to go back on Wednesday for another scan and might get a trigger shot apparently. I'm not sure whether I will persist with Clomid next cycle. I guess I will wait and see how ovulation pans out and whether there will be any additional heinous side effects between now and the end of this cycle! Also I will wait to see what kind of ovulatory response I have with regard to eggs released.

Sorry for not name checking properly and big waves and luffs to all.

Buzzy - interesting my woman charged me 450 for the pen. Makes me mad. I think I was on about 150 for the second round of IuI as I had to go in to a second pen. Sorry about your MiL - she really sounds like mine. Always putting their foot in it and it's always about them. Impossible to deal with. We have endless problems with mil and we haven't come up with a solution so am sorry you are in this boat. Currently I am sitting in a children's prom because she wanted to go and started crying when we said no! Luckily I'm by myself in a cupboard at the back so can catch up on MN!

Care - whoopee at 6 embies, clever girl!! Go little ones. Glad you are feeling better . You have dealt with ivf so coolly , You have hardly mentioned you are going through it.!

Gin, missm - sorry about cd1. It is grim as always.

Nelly - I hope you can at least alter your appt to a day other than your birthday.

So in Friday I was in a mess and in extraordinary pain. All round my back, hips and stomach - the worst period pains I have ever had. I had to go home early. I never have to go home early. I felt really odd as well. I couldn't watch most of the games ceremony as I then had heartburn! My boobs were painful too. I never get pain before my period and so I felt like my body was definitely trying to do something. Yesterday I had cramping all day as well. Today I am fine. Poas to stop the mentalling.. My boobs don't hurt and I expect my period will be here very shortly - keep running to the loo.. Really peculiar. I will be interested to get my immunes tested before ivf as I do think that my body has just killed something off.

Really bored by this prom!

Pout- that's great about the 3 follies. And I am glad you are better now after the clomid disaster. The hot flushes are very normal on clomid. And sadly weight gain is a side effect of taking drugs. Who said assisted conception wasn't glamorous? That's comforting to hear it wasn't frightening.... Not digging the mask thing though!

I loved the MIB letter too, princess. I would so love to be in a position of blissful ignorance again and get my win the first month.

Care I'm glad you are feeling a bit better today. 6 embies is great.

sarlat I'm another one who doesn't live as pg during the 2ww. I did wonder about it and then learned about how long it takes for an embryo to implant and then take blood from the mother I decided not to bother.

pout with three follies first time out, it sounds like you have reacted almost too "well" to the Clomid (a bit like me with the downregging - it did what it was meant to do very well but made me feel dreadful). Perhaps you can see if they can reduce the dose if you are willing to try again (or need to...). Or ask to try Letrozole instead?

joycep thank goodness for modern technology - at least you have the internet!

pout at your 3 follies, could be le pout triplets, could you not ask to try another drug?? Personally I didn't like the Ovitrelle trigger shot, my moods were shocking for 3 days but others have no problem with it, I do wonder how high a dosage I will need to get two follies and if IVF would work as stimulating my ovaries seems to be mission impossible

joyce that is down right daylight bloody robbery, I shall pm you the place I get my drugs from, its the place Shehata suggests and they may be able to deliver to you, when is AF due, all of that could have been due to implantation and if you poas it would be too soon for an hcg reading. I sadly take comfort from knowing our MIL's are similar

care 6 embies is great

well I have cramp like pain and sharp pains on the left and today on the right hope AF isn't showing up too soon as I am only CD19

hope everyone had a lovely weekend

Joycep - I will be watching closely. Fingers crossed that the pesky AF won't show up. What ever happens next - I completely agree that your body is trying to do something and an embie is floating around somewhere. When you say getting your immunes tested - is that the same as the period to Greece stuff? Or will you be getting NK cells testing? If so, do you mind me asking where you would be getting NK cells tested and how much? But wow Joyce - just wow!!!

Care - hooray for 6 happy happy embryos . My one (but very sad and silly) tip is to sing to them from a far. It use to make me feel like I was connected to them and I felt really happy in the days inbetween EC and ET. Best of luck!!!!

Sorry for the CD1's Gin and Mrs M - but new cycle, new chances, will work out soon.

And Pout with your 3 follies!!!! Amazeballs. - what is happening on this board at the moment? Super eggs or what??

It wasn't actually me who said I choose not to behave like a pregnant woman (don't think) ........but funnily enough I don't actually behave like a preggy lady during this whole TTC crazyness either. I totally agree with what others said about it being tiresome and almost asking for bad luck. There is no way a few wines, lifting furniture, breathing in paint fumes or whatever would hurt a floaty, pretty spec of an embryo. I do belive that overall healthy eating and (where possible) a healthy mind may make the journey more managable and possibly swing the odds slightly. But then again, those are things to aim for anyway, even when not TTC. So even that isn't linked to TTC.

Rabbit - I love the spider story - ha ha, what crazy lives we lead!!!! Really hope your body is settling down in to a nice new happy rhythm. And with a name like rabbit, you will be multiplying in know time!!! . Just out of interest, did you think of that connotation when you chose your new nickname? It's funny what the subconsious senses.

Well the 'happy go lucky' attitude is not proving easy to find- still getting the nasty anxiety moments and the doomy days. But I have begun to analize my behaviours a little better. As a result have made some positive changes. I was struggling to get out of bad habbits - mostly Dr googling all night long, thinking about my test results too much, hanging around the house to do boring jobs and thinking about work too much. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't break those habbits. Then it occured to me, those things around me have to change first - so, today we got out of the house (can you belive we were planning a day taking old crap to the tip) and instead went to a lovely antiques fayre and had a great mooch around. Another one here who loves a cheap, unique object far more than beautiful items in beautiful shops. We got a sausage and egg butty from the cafe tent and just milled around outside in the part sunshin, part rain on the green green grass. It felt great. Then we bought a random and cheap 'upcycled' piece of furniture. When we got home we cleared out our 'dumping room', added said new furniture and saw the room in a new light. Then I sat in said room with the blinds fully open and let the sunshine in. I realised I can sit in peace and quiet and not think about TTC or miscarriages etc. Hopefully I wil spend more time here than at my computer desk............

Can I ask you lovely ladies a question please - does anyone ever get 'fluttering' feelings in the womb from around 8 dpo - 12 dpo. I have had these for the past few days. They are incredibly light and I really don't think it's gas. I had the exact same things in my 2WW after IVF - and that was the first time I ever experienced this. I do think implantation was trying to happen back them but it's hard to know for sure due to all the drugs. I don't think I am preggers this month by the way as noooooo other symptoms at all. In fact, I have had far far more symptoms other months. I didn't get these fluttery womb feelings the time I really was pregnant either. So not getting hopes up. But the fluttery feelings are definatly there and I wondered what they were. Maybe just hormonal. Any ideas?

Hello to everyone, Euro, Mrs Den, Princess and anyone else I missed.

Oooo Buzzy - sharp pains around cd19 you say???- are you in the implantation window? Is this normal for you?? And if you do get to do IVF, I'm sure they can drug you enough to rev up your follies as super ovulation is still mild in comparrison. But I know it's easy to worry about these things. Good luck this month.

Buzzy - AF due today and apart from the cock up month with gonal f , I haven't got to day 28 in 2 years even on progesterone and day 28 tomorrow but Still a few hours to go and keep feeling it is here. If my boobs were sore, I would be mentalling but know the inevitable.. Uuum twinges with you ....when did you ovulate?

Sarlat - I am going to get all the Nk cell testing done before ivf. I think I will go via dr gorgy after my lap. Oooh the fluttering- yes! I had this once last year in Feb. it was very weird . I had it for 3 days and I googled it and the first thing I read was that it was a sign of pregnancy for quite a few people. My period came on time though. I haven't had it since. I wonder whether something is going on with you too???? It's a very peculiar feeling isn't it?

sarlat I think I have trapped wind issues, the progesterone doesn't do me any favours I can't say its a fluttering it feels more like AF for me, what day are you ??

I'm 11 dpo Buzzy - had fluttering (only here and there) since 8 dpo. But not getting carried away as no other symptoms. Sorry abou the trapped wind - pesky bodies like to confuse us with similar symptoms.

i'm blaming the progesterone not my diet I didn't have any symptoms until 14 dpo so lack of them doesn't mean anything at this stage

I bet you missed me, purple here, emerging from week of woe. I had a couple of quick reads in shitty cafes. All looks buzy here, big waves and hugs. The big finger can't avoid all the flutterings and follies around here, surely? Anyway I missed you all and my woes are in many layers of annoyance - unresilient power supplies, heat, ramadam, abstent internet even in presence of power for router, professional slump and general loose-end feeling, other half's professional stress and remerging inablity to sleep. Oh yeh and shag week. Pretty sure I'm 1dpo today and just to keep up with the theme of not acting pg in 2ww I think I need to get myself out for drinks and fun this week in a last ditch attempt to pull myself up on my feet.

Purple akua - sorry about the week of woe. I think a big drink and a party sounds in order for you.

Well I got to day28...just. AF here with a vengeance this morning. I am convinced something took place not that it matters.

Morning all,

Doll Loving the new name. Sorry to hear you are having a rubbish and stressful time. Drinks sounds good to me. I have a tiny hang over today. And today signals the end of the 'fun' week. Back to the brown and non drinking ways, well at least until holiday in a couple of weeks time. I'm a little disturbed that my trousers feel a bit tighter today. I'm putting it down to the fact that they are fresh from the airing cupboard and that all trousers are smaller after being washed and not the wine, pudding, food fest I've had over the past week FX for your 2ww.

Care great news on the 6 embies! Woohooo! That's brilliant news. Half a dozen just waiting to go. Sorry you had a traumatic time and

Joy fluttering you say and a longer cycle. This can only be great news, whether it's just back to your old more routine cycles or maybe the finger is pointing in your direction....

Gin sorry for CD1. Hope you had a nice rest of weekend.

Pout great news on the 3 follies. I like the idea of a trio of le pouts!

Sarlat your Sunday sounds lovely. I hope you have fun getting your spare room ship shape. It is good to do things like that. Our flat is still very clean and I've been much better with the housework and keeping on top of things over the weekend because it feels so nice to be in a neat and clean space. I know what you mean about it being difficult to stay positive too. I'm feeling that this weekend. Saturday, very happy and enjoying everything and having a nice time to myself. Sunday, feeling like crap again. It's a weird time for all of us.

Buzzy I hope AF stayed away and that the twinges were something else.

Waves to everyone else.

Well I had a sort of nice day yesterday. Went to a garden party for a 25th wedding anniversary. OH was playing in the band there. I love watching him play, it makes me feel very proud. Unfortunately, all the food was completely non brown friendly and there was a lot of sparkling wine too. I found myself with: a hotdog with ketchup in a white bun, hogroast and apple sauce, goats cheese (white) pasta salad, some tomatoes for good measure finished off with a huge piece of strawberry pavlova roulade, meringues, cream, fruit (for more good measure) and several glasses of fizzy wine, a coffee with milk and a bit of headache this morning as we came home and I treated myself to one of those small bottles of wine to drink with dinner whilst we watched BBC Natural World and TOWIE. Oh I feel the white carb / dairy / booze regret this morning.

I had a bit of a weep in bed last night about TTC stuff and how I've been feeling very alone again recently. DH thinks it was the talking but I had tried to bring it up before we went to the party, it just wasn't the right time. I said that I didn't think we had done it this month and I was very confused by excess CM on Saturday and some EWCM on Sunday and I was upset by some stuff on FB. He snapped that I shouldn't be seeing periods as failure otherwise it will be cyclical doom again which isn't healthy for anyone. Periods are normal and healthy and maybe I don't understand the CM properly. He doesn't get it but he was stressed and ill-prepared for the gig, so it really wasn't the right time. I checked FF as I had forgotten what day I was on, it's now CD22. Smack bag in 2ww. I'm very confused about the CM, cross with myself for over indulging, sitting here thinking that I've put on a tonne of weight in the last 48 hours but I'm also thinking I've probably just got raging PMT and at the same time in a pit of hope and despair wanting to cry, shout but also keep calm...just in case. I mean, I nearly cried at the telly this morning when Tom the Diver (I'm not a sports person) was on there hugging his now dead dad and doing handstands 10 metres up in the air. My metalling is being fueled by the two times I've been pregnant before when I also had stinking moods (I famously shouted at DH and cried very loudly in the car about how I WANT A BABY, why can't you grow up and want one too on the way home from his 'rents when they made a fuss over DH's bestfriend's pregnant wife and made me sit on a sofa to eat dinner, giving pride of place on the dining table to the pregnant women. This is when I realised I really wanted a baby and unbeknown to me was actually pregnant by about 6 days myself after the momentous first instadiff. I also screamed I hate your parents at him because I wasn't treated the same way and felt that I was more important than the pregnant lady (i.e. future DIL) and to think he still married me the next year....) I also think I was set off on Saturday night too. After having such a lovely day, I checked in on FB and saw statuses about a baby shower and how "this mum to be just feels so special. Big thanks to her friends" and then my besties mum posted to one of her friends, "we're fine. we've had some great news. All will be revealed next week" My friend will be 12 weeks next week. She is sensitive enough to be discrete her mum on the other hand is going to be a nightmare. But it made me realise that I can't make my mum deliriously happy and give her a grandchild. Oh I felt very sorry for myself last night. DH just told me not to go on FB. He's very sorry that I am sad but there is so little he can do, except saying keep brave and strong, we'll get there and then giving me a hug. I don't know what more I want him to do. I'm also concerned that if EWCM was yesterday then my period will be later and this will fuel the mentalling further. I really hate this game Sorry for self indulgent post.

Care I didn't finish my post to you. How thoughtless. I was going to say sorry you had a traumatic time over the weekend. I hate nurses small talk too. But as everyone else has said I'm sure it's just to put you at ease. If I were them, I'd be the same too. I always get verbal diarrhea in awkward situations. I hope you had a nice day yesterday and you are feeling ok today. Where has this rain come from? Sod off, I was planning a trip out at lunchtime! I think you are very brave and I can't believe how little you have said about this round. I hope that you get your well deserved win.

X- post Joy sorry CD1 is here. But good news you got a full 28ish day cycle. Do you feel happier about that or do you think something else was happening. I hope you are ok.

Hello akuabadoll! Love the new name... Here's hoping it brings some much needed fecundity to this thread . Going out for drinks sounds like a good idea after such a rubbish week. Not much going on this end - Mr B is away and I've got my head in the books (when not watching the Olympics, that is...) Waves to all!

Just on way out, but wanted to quickly say Princess so sorry you've been feeling down. You've done unbelievably well with your brown diet, and anyone with that much perseverance and determination will definately get there in the end, and what a fantastic mum you will make. I sometimes think all these shit times and just going to help the whole experience seem all the better when it does happen. Plus when you are pg and will be given pride of place, those others will have older children and no-one will be fussing over them any longer!

Joy I know those fluttering feelings well, defo had them the last FET round when I got a low hcg reading so something had happened. Think its another sign its well worth you getting the immune tests. Another piece of the jigsaw puzzle hopefully.

AFM 6 embies are still going ok - 4 are 4 cell, and 2 are 2 cell.

Off for a couple of relaxing days away.

waves and hugs everyone else.

PS Princess love that I'm not the only one who has complete fits at their OH. DH will never let me live down the day I screamed at him 'YOU'VE RUINED EVERYONES CHRISTMAS'!! oh dear.

Oh princess I've just seen your message! I'm sorry you're feeling so blue. FB can be so evil! Here's a... comforting cup of (brown diet-friendly) herbal tea

Joyce sorry to hear, after the fluttering and all. Damn.

Princess sorry to hear you feeling down too. On overindulging - you only did what most people do normally, its only becuase you are so good in general that it looks bad. Is Futility Fiend helping you understand the CM weirdness at all?

Beryl thanks for the comment re name change. OH saw my old one, I knew it, he knew it, a funny half a second flicker. I took temptation away. Thought I might get us all some fecundity while I was at it, and poke fun at myself in the process as my getting pg ideas seem to be witchcraft and finger crossing

Pray tell care how did he ruin Christmas? i'm sure you were right I got a +OPK yesterday, a rare thing, for me (on the same day I ov'ed as it turns out). Let's just say a few words were spoken and threats were issued. Two of the words were turkey and baster.