TTC for 10+ months, part 8

[eurochick]

A friendly, supportive thread for those taking a blooming long time to conceive!

Just a quickie. Sorry in advance for missing anyone.

lemons It is great that you are feeling so much better. The sunshine always gives a bit of a boost. Though I'm sorry purple that you have got sunburnt.

missm have a lovely holiday. FX for a holiday miracle for you!

Good luck sarlat

Hope that the lurgee has left the carrie household but not before it has distracted your immune system a bit!

critter I'm sorry to hear that this cycle has been abandoned. That is crap. It is all such constant stream of second guessing and worrying.

I started Clomid on Friday. Am on 100mg from Day 2 to Day 6. I don't know whether it is the Clomid but I feel bloody awful. I feel like I have the worst PMT EVER and feel so utterly depressed like the wheels have totally come off. One minute I am raging and literally throwing things about and the next absolutely sobbing. Surely it is too soon for the Clomid to kick in??? Is it too soon to have physical side effects too? I can't stop peeing (9 times during last night!) I have boob pain, cramps and am eating like a horse?????
If this is the work of Clomid I don't reckon I will do it again, not unless it produces some spectacular results.

Sorry for the selfish moaning and for the crap post. Sending out lots of hugs.

pout I dunno about the physical side effects but I get very fragile and tearful on Clomid too. At first I didn't connect the dots, then I realised that it probably was the 100 mg devil's juice that I was taking. Sympathies, it is crap. If it's any consolation, it was worst for me while I was taking it, not afterwards, so hopefully you'll be out of the hormonal darkness soon.

Pout you have my sympathy clomid did not agree with me, it was the moods so much it was as soon as I hit ovulation the pain was immense, I had a squiffy belly from then until AF started. Sore boobs and very sensitive nipples oh and jumping acid. If it helps the second cycle wasn't as bad apart from the pain but I suffer from constant cramping anyway so maybe I was more sensitive,
So sorry things aren't working Critter get back on the suppliments and have a good holiday.
Buzzy well done you for standing up to MIL and a little odd that she wants you to talk to someone for her in the first place.
The sickness has left us yey but boo my kidneys are playing up I think. Could be dehydration from being unwell and still not feeling like I want to drink much.
Well very strong opk today CD19 I think or 18. I am trying not to think too much about it. OH on lates but new naughty underwear arrived today some retro stockings should make it a little more fun lol. I have pains again but that could still be the clomid coming out my system as they said it could take 6 weeks. Fingers crossed their is enough to help us

Hello 10 plussers. I am finally, on cd9, emerging from my illness + doom fest. I don't know what happened to me, but that period wiped me out. I felt just like I did when I had the gf in the autumn, rotten, headachey, swollen glands, exhausted and nauseous. I've had a couple of flares this year that always coincide with my period. Had massive panic about some recurring chronic fatigue and the death knoll of fertility but mr moon has been struck down by same strange virus too so who knows. Hello, I'm rabbit and ttc has turned me into a hypochondriac dribbling anxiety laden wreck. Ace. My mood finally lifted a couple of days ago, but man that was a bad one. I think it was beryl who said about that convincing feeling that you will never ever ever have children and I think that might be the worst I've been this year.

On the plus side, out of the slump I have made some realisations. I am not ready for clomid. I have not rung the hospital to arrange next appointment. I am not remotely ready for ivf. I don't know if I ever will be. This has led to quite a significant conversation about adopting and I have definitely shifted on this, mr moon has always been up for it. I too euro and the other lovely on here have purchased Red. It wasn't a particularly ground breaking article but it tapped into quite a few feelings I have. And the ren goodies were rather nice too . So...this is my down time. I'm trying not to focus too heavily on getting pregnant. I don't expect to anytime soon. I think periods are going to continue to hurt but we are back to swi/sff eod so Ill just have to see. On positive news I don't appear to have ovd super early this month so not mentalling that this month I won't ov at all, honest

Ive been hiding away so can't even begin to catch up properly but wanted to jump back in. pout how wretched. I hope it passes very quickly. Ar you taking it at night? I remember hearing that made it a little easier. Why can't these drugs be happy pills? Really hoping it casts it's magic on you straight away and you can be a clomid instadiff.

nelly that is a lot of things! I did speed wedding and house reno so admirations for doing that on top of tic and ivf. You can do it. Sorry the last af felt so rubbish.

buzzy yuk to a row with mil. But it sounds like things that needed to be said - might it clear the air?

missm the holiday sounds lovely, jealousy.

lemon so what do you think about my 10 day lap turn around rule? Can I keep pedalling it out? so glad you're feeling better. Exercise is so helpful. In spite of feeling poo last week I met with yoga teacher to sort out getting back into daily practice and it was so useful. I'm now doing 30-45 mins every day again and feel like everything is almost working again. I think it will be another month or two before back to full on stuff but I feel rather chuffed about it. Oddly there is one move I can't do. It doesn't hurt, but my brain won't 'speak' to my stomach - very bizarre.

sarlet thank you for your lovely words whilst I was in the hole, very thoughtful. Wishing you all the luck with your fet.

care really enjoyed your posts and lots of what you said resonated. Keeping everything crossed that these abs will be the thing that tips things for you.

princess where is you?

What a rambly post. Loves to anyone I missed.

Thanks critter. I did wonder whether the moodiness would abate when I stopped taking the tablets or..... get worse!

It is the pits. It is a hormonal darkness like you said. I know I was only tenuously coping with all the TTC stuff before but since taking the Clomid I just can't cope at all. I'm all over the place.

Did you find that you smelled too? I keep thinking that I smell bad. I just got out of the bath and have had to wash again because I think I can smell this disgusting smell on my skin and foof. Yuk & tmi - sorry

ps critter sorry about the sleeping ovaries. Hopefully the ac will do the trick.

Carrie do try to drink things if your kidneys aren't so well. If this is your month you will have to keep telling people it was stockings that did it.

x-posted.

Carrie thanks for the reassurance too. I love this thread. I knew that you ladies would make me feel a bit better and stop worrying!
I'm sorry that you think your kidneys are playing up. I hope you feel better ready for SWI.

rabbit Oh God at feeling so ill. I'm glad that you are on the mend.
I am impressed that you have climbed out of the "hole" and have found a TTC balance/plan that feels right.
Also it's good that you are feeling optimistic and open about other avenues like adoption.

Yep taking the Clomid at night hence the Olympic bedtime weeing I think Being super tired and homicidal are not a good mix!

buzzy I forgot to say how I'm sorry that your MIL has been spectacularly insensitive. That must feel hurtful & I can understand why you feel miffed. Good for you for telling her though.

Afternoon ladies! What a lovely sunny day! Whyyyy wasn't it like this when we were on hols, whinge. I've been trapped in a tiny room interviewing all day!

critter I'm sorry to hear that there's no sign of an egg this month. Do you think if they left it longer you may ov? You sound fairly upbeat about which is great! Yes, when we have our consultation in August, I'm going to ask about all things sperms.

Bloody hell, clomid sounds awful pout! Eating and peeing like a horse are def 2ww thing for me. Aren't you ovulating anyway?! I prescribe some cake and/or chocolate for you. And maybe some online shopping. Always makes me feel better.

buzzy you mil sounds, er, interesting. How does mr b get on with her? I've found mr gin's parents have been a bit odd bout the whole ivf thing. V supportive in terms of cash and via email but no mention when they talk to me...

joy your big fat glass of wine sounds v much deserved! I refuse to act like a pregno, apart from during treatment. I would resent it too much. Hope mr joy has sorted things out with his mum.

Well done on the ov miss m Sounds like you covered all bases with the swi! Am jealous of niagara. I've wanted to go ever since superman and Lois went to that cheesy hotel there in one of the movies!

beryl do tell more about the fur baby!

lemons you get a gold star for exercising. I find any excuse not to!

purple your work sounds super interesting and also very worthwhile.

sar hope the appointment went/goes well. Am envious of you having frozen embies.

I really admire you putting 2 fingers up to ttc obsession nellie and being so busy. New house sounds v exciting! I found during the ivf, I didn't want to do anything other than lie on the sofa and to make sure I was home in time for my jabs, but I am a lazy bugger!

I wish I could not think about ttc and baybees. I really thought that by taking the summer off, we'd be able to have lots of fun and forget about it, but it seems not... I'm also feeling very negative about the next ivf. I know we need to do it, but really don't think it'll work. It's going to be tough going through it all without any real hope. Stupid sperms! Why can't they just work! lemons your mum's comment is so true!

pout that is just how I feel including sore boobs so I totally sympathise, big hugs I hope you feel better soon and that this is just a blip, maybe next time they might be able to try you on a different drug, I found things ok on the Tamoxifen and a little tearful on the gonal f, its the ovitrelle that is making me miserable :(

*critter how long was your last period when you ovulated??? Would you prefer to try the clomid one more time or move onto the big guns

medusa you're trip sounds lovely, New England is so pretty

sarlat good luck

I could just cry my heart out and I feel uber pissed off with everything, which is probably why MIL got a bullet in the neck, (she normally is ok) also it taps into abandonment issues with my own mother, I just feel so unworthy of her attention when she said she was going to see this lady and didn't bother much with me, which is why it hurts so much. I have spoken to the lady and she is lovely, I think I cried more than she did. Sorry for the me me me me post, feeling very self indulgent

Just out of interest, I obsessively poas, I use the same sticks for my cbfm and my cb smiley ovulation stick thing, cbfm now says 2 bars but I still got a smiley face

X post! rabbit so pleased you are out of your hole and that it sounds like your lady bits are returning to normal. Do google the Lisa Falkener Red article on adoption. It's v good!

carrie boo to kidneys but yay for naughty stockings. Hope you are feeling better.

pout is it inappropriate to at odd smelling foof?!

x posts with several of you

carrie I think MIL thought I would be able to sympathise and have share some of my knowledge which I don't mind.

gin Mr B just said i'm sorry my mum has upset you, I didn't go into detail, she just totally ignored the IVF thing, I wasn't asking them to fund it just letting her know where we are at in case she was interested

rabbit glad you are feeling brighter

Evening everyone!
I hope you?ve all had a good start to the week. What gorgeous weather we are having (at last)!
So, the fur baby is a beautiful kitten. My mum?s cat has had three tiny kittens and I was trying to choose which one to adopt. The trouble is that they are all so adorable. We can only take one, though, as we?re also going to get a puppy in the near future? Two fur babies to take my mind off my empty nest
Sorry you?re having issues with your MIL, buzzy.
And sorry you?re not feeling so positive at the moment, gin. I know it?s hard to believe sometimes, but you will get there. It?s so much easier seeing that for someone else, of course. Right now, I am under a cloud of doom and don?t think it will ever happen naturally for me. It?s the first time I?ve ever really thought that. I?ve only just realised it, but there was always a glimmer of hope somewhere. The last few days, however, hope seems to have wandered off somewhere. I try to focus on the fact that it doesn?t mean we won?t have our own family ? that will happen one way or another. But I just really wanted to experience the whole pregnancy/giving birth thing. (It doesn?t help, I suppose, that as I type I?m watching an old episode of One Born Every Minute?)
Welcome back from the hole, rabbit. So sorry to hear you?ve been feeling down. But it?s great that you are taking control of what happens next and when. Mr B and I had one of those conversations about adoption recently. We?d always wanted to adopt anyway ? before we knew we?d have trouble conceiving ? but that led to some questions about whether we would/should pursue IVF, if it came to that. I?m still not sure what my answer to that question is ? I think what I?m learning is that it shifts!
Impressed by the stockings, carrie - good effort!
It sounds like a good idea to take the Agnus Cactus, critter. I hope you manage to relax over the next few weeks until your next appointment. What does your doctor think about AC? (I have a bottle of the stuff somewhere and am wondering whether I should start taking it!)
pout - sorry to hear you?re suffering with Clomid. It sounds dreadful! Will be keeping my fingers crossed that it?s just bad whilst you?re taking it. Hang on in there!
missmedusa your holiday sounds fabulous. Am very
purple your job sounds brilliant. And worthy. Very impressed and, again, a tad
Glad you were able to enjoy the sunshine and get some exercise, lemon. It really does do wonders, doesn?t it? (she says, sat on the sofa with the telly on?)

Hi guys

buzzy my last period was maybe 4 days long? Shorter than my periods used to be, back in the day when I was 25 and last having au naturel cycles. I kind of want to move on to the big guns - I'm sick of clomid. But if they give me one more cycle, I'll man up and do it.
I'm so sorry that you're feeling so blue - this is a rough road and it doesn't make it any easier when you haven't got your own mum to lean on. But you will get there, and be a wonderful mum soon. Your little one is going to be a lucky little bee, when he or she finally makes an appearance.

gin I don't know if I would ov - I would guess maybe a 10% chance? Based on no information whatsoever, of course. But I'm going to keep temping so I have an idea of what's going on, and I'm going on holiday to my parents' house in Scotland with them in a week - the house is known in family lore as being a place where babies are conceived as it is so relaxing there although maybe it's down to the copious amounts of whiskey that get consumed and my mum, who has taken to calling me and Mr C 'the pandas' given how infrequently I ovulate is saying she's going to make us up a nice comfy room far away from everyone else's bedrooms so while I don't think anything will happen, it'll still be fun.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling crap about the next IVF, I can totally see why you would - I definitely think you're doing the right thing in talking through all your concerns with the clinic about the sperms - they should have plenty of experience with this and be able to give you some advice. It's really hard to take time off from this, I agree - when you're surrounded by babies and pregnancy announcements. All you can do is arm yourself with information and try to stick it out. I saw a card today with a quote from Winston Churchill saying 'when you're going through hell, keep going' which seems apt.

*carrie love the racy stockings - I think I need to take a leaf out of your book and raise my game!

pout hmmmm now you mention it, I did notice a strange foof aroma - not this time, but maybe a couple of cycles ago? Perhaps I've just got immune to it! Once - and this is WAY tmi - I left a tampon in my hoo ha for a couple of weeks by accident. It was basically the worst smell in the world. Absolutely revolting. Even my sister could smell it! It was just when I'd started dating Mr C. He was totally grossed out when I told him what it was. It eventually slid out when I was on the loo one day - thank God because I was about to go to the gyno to find out what was wrong - that would have been REALLY embarrassing - and was probably the most disgusting thing I have ever seen! I waved it at my sister (she was curious to see it when I told her what had happened, we were living in the same flat at the time) and we still reminisce about the grossness.

rabbit glad you are out of the hole and sorry you've had such a shit time. It really does suck. Interesting that you've had a conversation about adoption. I'm off to google the Lisa Faulkner article about it. Mr C says he doesn't want to adopt or even consider egg donation, but I think that's in part because he hasn't really processed all the TTC stuff like I have - he hasn't had to get his swimmers analysed or anything yet, so it all still feels maybe a bit more remote to him - also none of his close friends have children yet. I'm hoping that we can just cross that bridge as and when we come to it.

Sorry to everyone else that I've missed. I'm trying to think of this period as time that the universe is giving me to figure out other stuff about my life. I suppose the only silver lining is that if I'd had a baby by now, that would have swallowed up all my mental energy and time, and now I have this empty head space the part that's not swamped by ttc obessing to think about my life and what I want to do with it, to write self indulgent poems and read books and try to learn how to meditate and hang out with Mr C etc.

Cross post beryl - ooh a kitten! I am allergic but LOVE cats and am very . I asked my reproductive endocrinologist about AC and he made a shruggy face like 'eh, it won't do any harm but I don't think it does anything' and I asked whether other women took it that he was treating, and he said yes. So basically his view was that it wouldn't do anything, but it wouldn't hurt either.

sorry you've been ill rabbits, ttc has turned me into a hypochondriac too. I think it's the anxiety of it all and I've programmed myself to look for pregnancy symptoms which of course I never have so I make myself notice all sorts of other stuff. Anyway, I'm pleased it sounds like the GF hasn't made a return.

pout I've never taken clomid so can't help you with what's normal but I reckon it's bound to mess with moods. Hopefully it will do the trick though. Here's to super duper ovulation for you.

beryl tell us all about your new fur baby. I completely get what you mean about wanting to do the pregnancy and birth thing. This is why I don't think adoption is an answer for me. But maybe it's something I'll revisit if it looks like I never will get pregnant.

gin i have the same fears, I don't think anything is going to work. I'm in a doom and gloom pit with you and rabbits. At least we can keep each other company. I am terrified of ivf not working because we have no plan B.

I was in a bad mood with DH all saturday because he'd invited the newly pregnant friends for dinner. I was dreading it and was so mad at him for not thinking about how much I wouldn't want to spend an evening with them. I wrote him a letter because I found it easier to say stuff on paper. I wrote about all my feelings and worries. It was very cathartic to write. He read it and we made up and he was totally lovely for the rest of the weekend. I see that he's folded the letter up and put it in the drawer of his desk in his study. He said he knew how I felt and that he felt the same but that he deals with things totally differently. The letter was a good way to get us to talk about it all so I'd really recommend it. Anyway, the dinner was ok. They were excited. She's 14 weeks and already has a little bump which she stroked and patted all night. I felt very jealous. They told us that it happened straight away, they'd worried it would take a while because she's an only child and it took her mum 12 years to have her. I wanted to ask more about this but didn't want to give away any interest in the subject.

We're still waiting for the genetic results, it will be 5 weeks tomorrow. Why does everything take so long. I feel like I'm in one of those dreams where I can't get anywhere.

Welcome back nellie. Hello to joycep, critter, purple, missM, euro and everyone else.

critter sorry I meant how long was your last cycle and thank you

beryl very at your new fur baby

mrsd I'm glad your DH was lovely, I worked with a woman who obsessively rubbed her bump, well done for having dinner with them and not stabbing her with a fork :) sorry the results are taking so long, this journey is long enough

well have just come in from the pub (friend over from Dubai) MIL has left an email apologising not sure how to respond

If your mil has apologized buzzy then it sounds like your email did the trick. Sometimes people just don't realize when they've been insensitive. I always think that once someone's apologized then it's best to let it go, life's too short and all that. My pil are generally ok, but they do lots of things to Annoy me and they have a very different approach to life than we do. I wouldn't want them to know About our problems, although I'd love for them to pay for ivf!! I'm going to ave to put up with them because mil invited herself to stay. I'm dreading it.

I'm fed up of being surrounded by preggos. Woman at work is huge now, talks non stop about baby. I had the indignity this morning of having to give my seat up on the train to a very pregnant woman. No one else was going to budge and my conscience got the better of me. She didn't even say thank you. It's put me in a grump!

Hello ladies. I have a lovely weekend away, despite the fact that it was for a christening and the other couple who went from London are 6 months preggo! There was a fair amount of bump rubbing, but I survived. I had a bit of a wobble when I ended up stuck between two conversations at one point, with the women talking about pregnancy stuff (which made me feel sad and like I just didn't belong) and the men talking about Game of Thrones (which I have never watched/read) but mostly it was fine. And it was good to get out of London for the weekend and get some fresh air!

The weekend was a complete fail on the dirty weekend front though - we were either rushing from one place to another catching up with people, or too stuffed full of fish and chips to contemplate it! It's nice not to feel that we have to swi, but I had high hopes for some sff this weekend!

It's interesting to see all the adoption chat on here. Mr euro and I discussed it for the first time this weekend. We both have reservations about it, but neither of us would rule it out.

Thanks beryl. I have had an abnormal smear. It's only a mild abnormality but the consultant wants to do LLETZ. I am very uneasy about this as it really doesn't seem necessary and there are risks with it, like any medical procedure.

We are contemplating a fur baby kitten too.

Welcome back nellie.

purple that sounds very interesting. We've been hit by a baby drought on this thread. Perhaps you could study us?

MissM I was the same - I always thought I would find it difficult to conceive. And then I had what I think was a chem preg before we were trying properly, just being rather careless and then had a glimmer of hope that it might be ok. My initial instinct turned out to be right!

Your road trip sounds awesome.

Nelly that does sound like rather a lot to take on, but maybe being distracted will be a good thing?

Critter sorry that Clomid doesn't seem to be doing the trick for you. And pout sorry Clomid seems to be doing rather too much for you! If you want to try ovulation induction, maybe you could request Letrozole instead? It is supposed to do the same thing but with fewer side effects. There was a good article somewhere on the interweb comparing the two. I've had a look but can't locate the article, but it is out there somewhere!

Critter If you do try AC, make sure you don't take it in the same cycle as the Clomid. Apparently that is not a good idea.

Rabbit I'm glad you are feeling rather better. What a nasty virus. BTW, I used to find that I always got colds or bugs to coincide with my period. Which makes sense because immunity is supposed to drop a few days before to allow implantation. Annoyingly, since we have been trying I never get anything any more, despite 6 months of immunesppressants, so I think my body has forgotten how to do that bit!

mrsd I always give up my seat on the train if a preggo needs it, but i do feel very resentful. Maybe they should do special barren seats?

critter I love the sound of your holiday back home. I reckon that is exactly the type of thing the house of doom could do with. I was bemoaning to MrP how we have got to a point where it feels like there is nothing to look forward to anymore. Anyway, here's hoping that it is the house of conception for you! at the pandas comment.

Oh God at stowaway tampon....thank God it dislodged itself!

mrsd I agree about the letter idea. I wrote to MrP to explain some stuff about his mother and how much she had upset me. It worked way better than trying to discuss it and then rowing instead. I'm glad that MrD has kept the letter too.
The dinner party sounds hideous BTW. Why do pregnant ladies rub their belly??She's 14 weeks FGS not about to drop.

buzzy I think that MrsD is right. If someone apologises and accepts responsibility then it is easier to accept an apology. That said if someone had upset me to a massive degree then I am a bit of an elephant and never forget. I would probably accept the apology for the sake of harmony but my attitude & interactions would be coloured going forward. FWIW my MIL won't apologise or admit that she has done anything wrong at all. Instead she has done this blame deflection thing or just proclaims that she mean't nothing. Apparently I'm supposed to accept that 90% of what comes out of her mouth has not been thought about or mean't. Yeah right! Sorry slightly off subject! And breathe
BTW I completely understand why the way your MIL behaved would trigger issues for you given the upset your mum has causes you. It is bloody well all the more damned insensitive given the background.

beryl I am going all slushy just thinking of your fur baby. Did you pick one or two in the end? Names? Colour? Cute habits? Tell all

gin Sorry that you didn't get the weather for your hols. Typical!
I do ovulate so Clomid is a bit of a last ditch, give it a whirl whilst waiting for IVF stab in the dark. The success rates are poor for Clomid with Unexplained infertility so I must admit that I feel a bit like what is the point of enduring fetid foofs and violent impulses.

gin beryl rabbits and mrsd I'm with you in the pit. I have been hit with a new wave of despair too and have reached a point where I truly don't believe that I will get a BFP. I have never felt so sad about the whole thing. The reality has sunk in that if I have no baby what the hell are me and MrP going to do with our lives? I admit that I stumbled across an infertility website yesterday (infertility.about.com) and there was a section on infertility related anxiety and depression with a quiz...I didn't score well . The stuff about depression summed up exactly what I am feeling.
If you have IVF does it go against you if you have been to the GP recently for antidepressants and counselling? I am afraid of doing anything to jeopardise IVF treatment.

BTW I wandered into the lounge earlier and saw snippets of tomorrows This Morning. Apparently they will be discussing two women's differing decisions when finding out that their IVF babies had Downs. I got really cross. One, because I hadn't considered this as a possiblity, and two, it is just sensationalist shit. This topic isn't relevant to the majority of This Morning viewers & the barrens won't generally be watching. I suspect it will end up in a bitch fest and as another stick to beat barrens with. Can you tell that I am a hormonal bitch

x-post euro
Commiserations at SWI fails but kudos at stuffing your faces win Sounds good to me!

I might mention changing the drug - thanks for the heads up.

pout I also felt a bit "what's the point?" about trying Letrozole. The success rates really aren't much better than natural conception rates for the unexplained. But as it didn't give me side effects, I tried it for 3 of the 6 suggested cycles.

critter ha ha about the tampon! I laughed so hard when I saw that because the exact same thing has happened to me! It was totally the grossest thing ever in the world and I too found out by not smelling my usual sweet self oh to be so unaware of periods as to not even realise such a thing had happened. I actually got an infection and part of my worry that my tubes were funked was because of that. Interestingly the antibiotics I had for two weeks are the ones on the Greece regime. They made me feel like shit. That was 4 years ago so I hope nothing has brewed since.

pout poor you. I honestly think a chat to the gp might be good. I imagine loads of ivf ladies arrive on antidepressants. I am thinking of taking up the counselling offered at my clinic. I think it would be helpful to air things and just see how it sounds. Infertility is properly lowering and exhausting. I have had major periods of stress in my life and some truly horrible things to work through. But nothing has felt like this as it is just so out of our control with no sign of easing up. Time can't really heal things til you're through them whereas in the past, no matter how bad things were, I could envisage a time when things would be easier. This is different, like a mountain with no peak. Don't give up though and remember, these feelings do lift. I find it very hard to keep hold of that when I'm in the hole. But it is true.

euro you are so good to go a christening. I refuse to go to them. I have a really significant one coming up but I can't and won't go. You did well!

mrsden oh no to the bump rubbing. Should a miracle occur and I get my own bump I won't rub it in public. In fact I can't imagine showing the bump off much in public for fear of upsetting someone! That would never have occurred to me if I had conceived easily.

pout I can tick all of those except the drugs and alcohol one. Maybe that is where we're going wrong!! This sucks! Big finger please please come and stay with us and point at us one by one so we can all have babies at the same time. Too much to ask?

rabbit I'm glad I'm not the only one to have had a recalcitrant tampon. I hope the antibiotics don't make you feel as terrible this time around. A pal of mine had a condom lost inside her and went to A and E to get it fished out, by, she said, a very handsome young doctor who hunted for it for ages and then finally called out in triumph 'I see it! I see it!' and whipped it out. She said it was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.

pout holidays are the way to go, if you can - it makes SUCH a difference getting away from the everyday grinding misery.

buzzy my last cycle was 32 days. I'm glad your MIL has apologised, I would accept the apology but keep an eye on her for future infractions.

euro ruh roh, as Kim Jong Il would say - I have indeed been agnus castusing and clomiding in tandem. Hope I haven't buggered anything up more than it already is buggered. Well done you for surviving the christening - not fun.

mrsd sorry to hear about the rash of preggos.

hello ladies, I have to say that I now feel more like myself, I cannot believe how bad the Ovitrelle made me feel, had a good day at work, its great to work in the community on days like this
mrsd it has cleared the air but I don't take shit from anyone about anything, over step the mark with me and you'll know about it, and you're right life is too short too hold a grudge but its also too short to put up with crap from others. Generally they are quite good but they certainly live in their own little bubbles :) Sorry your MIL has invited herself, how long is she planning to stay?? One day you'll be the preggy woman who forgets to say 'thank you'

euro glad you had a good weekend despite the conversations

pout my first MIL was lovely although a bit scatty at times but a bit more involved/interested in what was going on in our lives without being interfering, I think I miss that interaction, going for coffee etc, sorry your MIL doesn't engage her brain first. I would be surprised if counselling/antidepressants would go against you, it shows you are aware of how you feel and think and that you are taking control of the situation not letting the situation take control of you. You might just need to check that you can mix the drugs during IVF, like I've said before counselling is great and I really recommend it. I think that depression just has such a stigma attached to it which is soooo wrong.

critter I hope thet give you the big guns, how did ovitrelle affect you if at all, the last 72 hours have been horrendous. 32 days is a good length, you might just ov later in the cycle, I used to ov around days 17-19 and have a 28 day cycle