TTC for 10+ months, part 8

[eurochick]

A friendly, supportive thread for those taking a blooming long time to conceive!

care yes, I would have the NHS smear as planned in 6 months. And I haven't had my annual medical with work yet this year, which offers a smear, so I am quite tempted to have that at 3 months to see if there is any change by then. I'm certainly not planning to ignore it or anything (if anything the opposite, by fitting in an extra one!). Although the risk of cancer is low it is still there and not to be messed with.

Beryl I think the clinic uses the antral follicle count to decide on dosages, so if yours if a bit on the low side, they will just bump up the dose. Mine was a bit on the high side on one ovary, due to borderline PCOS, so that will have affected the dose they decided on for me.

lemons it took my parents a year to fall pg with me, in their mid 20s. And then they got pregnant again three times after me much more easily (but lost those babies, so it was a similar pattern (at least up to the BFP point).

Oh nelly I'm so so sorry you've fallen into the af shit hole. Shouting is very much allowed during pmt. I still can't believe you're managing doing ink about ivf and organise a wedding. One at a time was more than enough for me and my stress levels! Big snogs and hope le weekend goes ok.

lemons can I hide in your bosom too?? Mostly cos I'm envious of anyone with a bosom, being rather lacking m'self!

Ooo care I didn't know that you were doing ivf again! I can't remember what happened last time? Are you using a London clinic? Are you down regging?? Sorry soooo many questions! Lots and lots of good luck with it.

We are planning in having another go in October I think. Am partly determined to get on with it and partly terrified of it. Having read lots about sperm fragmentation, I'm convinced with have this issue too, as our fertilisation rate wasn't great and so many embryos arrested. I'm not sure our clinic tests/treats it but I'm unwilling to go elsewhere and put myself through the (unnecessary) high drug regimes. Not sure where this leaves us...

purple I'm also intrigued by what your work actually involves!

buzzy impressed at your eod too!

I'm still jealous of your play suit princess. Was browsing the Urban Outfitters website last night and mr gin demanded to know why I was looking at ladies bottoms . Had to explain it was the clothes not the derrières I was interested in...

And Brazilian nuts, eewwww. Surely not on a straight man?!

princess and purple they say you should eat 5 brazil nuts a day (good for the lining or egg quality??) along with a kiwifruit please note the word fruit as a 'kiwi' is a bird and we don't eat them, sotrry its my little bug bear with the supermarkets I did gain alot of weight no baby

princess i'm cd10 today what day are you on??

care are you down regging this cycle??? I'm in two minds about that but not IVF, I'd have it tomorrow if I could. My friend has had some more blood tests but she has had some results back - high nk cells and elevated CD19, leukocytes, cytokines. So has now been put on intralipids, clexane and pred, she's a bit freaked out about it but is relieved that something is being done, she has raynauds.

pout and rabbit how are you both, big hugs to yo both

nelly big hugs I hope things are a little better

carrie i'm not always into dtd and neither is Mr B but we still do it, I hope you and your DD feel better soon

critter the progynova has improved my lining so maybe that is something you could ask them about.

gin its not eod all the month just when it counts but I much prefer 3 days for some reason

Well I saw shehata and fanny cam showed only one big follie 21mm on my lazy left side so I take ovitrelle jab tonight, Mr s said to shag over the weekend, I said Saturday or Sunday, he said both I think my pee sticks are duds as still on 1 bar. He is happy with the one egg but has upped the gonal f for next cycle to 225 as his goal is to produce 2, I asked how high I could go and he said 450, I've only just worked out how much it will cost me this month < picks self off the floor> Mr B will do his SA in about 3 weeks time. We discussed my nk cells and he has suggested intraplids, I asked about Hydroxy and he has agreed so I start tomorrow, I'm feeling abit more positive about things now (nk cells wise) just hope Mr B's lazy feckers (sperm) are up for the task

Pulled into the care park at work thinking ooooh I'd love a cuppa, got into the office and was told that the water pipes had burst so no cuppa and no peeing . So I decided to see my patients and get them to make me a cuppa I tell them its all part of 'activities of daily living' therapy
Well i'm spending tomorrow looking after my friend who has broken her ankle, I have 'acquired' so equipment from work to help make things easier for her

I hope you all have something planned for the weekend, even if its just relaxing, Mr B is keen on BBQ so who am I to stop him............ WAVES to everyone

Care - your sentiments about being "labelled forever" when you do get a baby and feeling like an "incomplete woman" really struck a chord with me. Throughout all of my IVF cycle and leading up to my FET in September I have been feeling this way to a greater or lesser extent - it's not nice is it. I try and deal with it by thinking that everyone goes through bad times where their self esteem takes a plummet - and that those feelings are not how we actually are - but it's so hard not to feel this way. I do agree that your immuno stuff may tip the scales in your favour - do you know why they said the odds were 25% - will be thinking of you.

Pout - sorry for af - she is one evil old bint! - interesting about the pre-af crampy feelings as joycep said - hmmmmm!!

Mrs M - glad you feel a lttle better about the SA - good luck.

Euro - good on you for making a logical, sensible decision about your treatment - but then again I wouldn't expect anything less from you as you are so calm and measured. Hell - if there is no evidence to indicate you should have this treatment then there is no evidence. This situation really helps me to understand your feelings towards the IVF. I have had my troubles coming to terms with going for IVF, but you need and deserve a very concrete rationale before you will enter in to dramatic treatment to feel comfortable. You are a source of inspiration - I don't want my tubes out and feel scared about it - they put pressure on me - but I can't see overwhelming evidence for this - I will try and think of you and stay strong with what I want / don't want.

Buzzy - hope the scan went better?

Hello to everyone else and sorry not name checked everyone.

Whoever said the big fat finger has fucked off is right - there are so many deserved ladies here - it would give us all a boost if a hard won BFP came along just now.

Got my nurse consultation on Tuesday for FET. Feeling all anxious again as the appointment creeps up. Things are better now Iv'e got the new nice consultant but feeling massive pressure. As it will hopefully be a natural cycle FET, the responsability is mostly mine to monitor (although will be enquiring about scans / blood tests to confirm ovulation) and predict the best day for transfer. I know I'm thinking too far ahead but I realised tonight that if this next FET doesn't work then I will have a history of 1 miscarriage, 2.5 years of secondry infertility casued by said miscarriage and 2 failed IVF's. Then I think I will really feel up shit creek.

I'm not saying that will be the end of the line - far from it, I know I will keep going but it's just getting scarier and scarier the further in I go. I really respect people who have been trying longer - Care, I have positive feelings for you.

Thanks care and euro for your reassuring words. I'm not taking any medication at the moment, so I guess that is my baseline. But you're right that five is better than none! I was reading about the AFC being a reliable indicator for IVF success (i.e. low baseline AFC = not much chance of it working) and started worrying that I wouldn't even be a potential candidate... all this before I've even had my first appointment. This is the danger of a humanities student having access to medical journals online (still, I'm all for interdisciplinarity )... At the same time, forewarned is forearmed and if I am going to hear some depressing news in August, I'd better be prepared.

Sorry to intrude, euro, but have you had an abnormal smear result? I had to have a colposcopy (and then a procedure called LLETZ) several years ago, so let me know if you've any questions about any of that. You always seem very clued up, though, so I doubt there would be much I could add!

Just wanted to say hi Beryl I remember you from some months back. Totally relate to the humanities student reading medical journals. It's interesting to me, wondering what I really understand. The 'hard' sciences are not as 'solid' as I once assumed.

Beryl - just to add that even if 5 does turn out to be your AFC - take heart. From my limitied experince it is about quality over quantity every time. And there are things you can do to increase quality a little e.g. accupuncture / diet.

I had an antral follicle count of 9 - told this was OK but not amazing and a little low for my age (32). During IVF stimming I was predicted to get 6-8 eggs as not all follicles will contain an egg and not all follicles will reach correct size. Got self all worried. But then at egg collection they got 10 eggs. Of which 9 fertilised. Of which 4 were good quality at 5 day stage. So all I'm trying to say is high quality can win the day. You could get 1-2 good embryos from 5 follicles.

And the Dr's are most definatly not always right - lots of people here would agree. It also depends on sonographic interpretation skills. I think that we also differ month to month with numbers of follicles. For example you might have 7 on another month. I know on a different scan when they were not specifically counting my follicles they said "yeah there is plenty there etc etc". These things fluctuate.

Best of luck. x

hi beryl welcome back! How did your house move go? I'm sorry you're feeling down and confused. I hope you have a nice weekend and feel better soon :)

buzzy at kiwi fruit !! Oh and I'm CD12 and ov CD 16 - 18. Although I'm not temping or using pee sticks. So just have to keep on trucking EOD. Ooh BBQ! Enjoy.

sarlat totally get the anxiety before appointments. I hope it's positive and that you are able to put it behind you over the weekend. You sooooo deserve a BFP soon.

Gin I was thinking Brazilian men, like hot and tanned, not man waxing... but it does sound very much more like man grooming. I asked the lady who does my waxing about back, sack and crack waxing...(popular in Brighton and apparently 50/50 straight and gay men) There's a lot of ball bag stretching... And sometimes boners...... Totally ewwwwwwww!

care you Have Pin-Pointed me very well! You will be keeping your toes warm and very near to me too! When we are settled we'll have to meet up for a non-caffeinated beverage! Or game of tennis, although I fear it will be autumn before we are settled.

euro mmmmn, chocolate Brazil's. yummy!

Friday night waves and a round of for all :)

So in other news I thought we were seeing the new batman film at 9pm, turns out we had booked 6pm and I had to inform Mr P (looking forward to this all week, special 35mm film realise, first showing, great seats.....) about the cock up at 6.40. my name = mud. Although he took it well, is placated with beer and I've booked tickets for tomorrow lunchtime instead. I also had to watch my pregnant bestie devour strawberry gelato after work too. I only told her it was my favourite thing when she was mid spoonful. She looked very guilty. I wasn't bothered really. hardened to dairy avoidance now! and looking forward to cocktails next week

hi lovely ladies. I'm hiding from mrjoy and the dreaded MiL who are having a barney downstairs. It has given me a good op to catch up!

gin - I'm glad you had a lovely and well deserved break. typical that you were lumbered on the kids table and not Hugh |Grant's. I read that article by Lisa Faulkner and she certainly sold adoption , her little girl is beautiful. I have been going off the idea recently, realising i 'm my parents only hope of grandchildren and continuing our family line. I feel very sad i will never be a blood aunt so I feel this baby thing has to happen otherwise i'm not sure what i will do.

nelly - sorry to hear about your meltdown with mrnelly. i'm glad he said the right things this time. It's all so bloody stressful and I think any other stresses going on in life just compound it - so work commitements, wedding plans, ivf appointments - it's just too much. I hoe you have fun with the family.

euro - god forbid if the dna is up the spout of any of our husband's sperm but apparently there is another test they can do before they put the embryo back in now - I wonder if that helps. i think it's the CGH test or something. Totally with you on all the research - I can't be doing with the unexplained category either. We just have to keep on digging and hopefully one day it will pay off.

care - I totally agree about the percentages being a load of BS. Last year I was given 100% certainty by my gynae that I would be pregnant by xmas. Then suddenly when that didn't happen I was in the bottom 3%. People have been given 0% chance of conceiving yet still manage to do it. No one knows at the end of the day. rabbit may actually have a much higher figure of 18% chance now. Thanks for the good luck. I'm going to mention the whole antib thing to her. I will see whether she is going to refer me for a lap as I may wait to see what those results are. Then I may do the antibs. Quite nervy of the side effects actually! I'm really routing for your next ivf round. I think the immunes and the antibs are going to be the extra ammunition that you need.
Your forever family home picture made me feel so sad because it is so close to home. I now can't imagine having children in our little flat. We want to move out of London so badly but it's difficult when you don't know what the future holds. Of course no one does but kids tend to be in the vast majority's future.

i see the Brazilian nut theory has raised its head. I was feeding Mrjoy these at teh beginning of the year. I eat them nearly every day because apparently they are key to getting pregnant...still waiting!

lemon - how long did it take your parents to conceive their first then? And what did they do differently that month???

HI beryl - welcome back . I'm afraid i don't know much about the follicle count but hopefully the ladies have given you some info. I may know on Tuesday when i guess i will be told mine.

buzzy - I'm glad you are feeling more positive about things. and hoping mrs has spotted the golden egg.

sarlat - anything to do with hospitals and consultations and FETs and ivf - it's all so nerve racking. I'm sure it will be fine and i'm hoping that this will be your lucky one.

all fairly quiet here. I've been trying to explain to mrjoy how anxious, angry and frustrated i have been feeling lately. I lost my tennis match today which then tipped me over the edge and I was biting MrJ's head off when I returned. I'm a bit competitive! And it can't even be PMT. So i have poured myself a big fat glass of wine whilst hiding upstairs. So sick of behaving like a pregnant woman.

happy weekends to everyone. Enjoy your trip Princess.

Hi all, can I come back and join you? I have been lying low in a vain attempt to not over think ttc. But as things are going slow I could do with support from you lovely ladies.

Quick update on where I am: ttc for 18 months next month. have history of endo and cysts. Have been referred to sub fertility clinic. Going through all the blood tests, ultrasound etc now. DH apparently has super sperm, which is just unfair as he's overweight, eats crap and drinks lots of beer, wheres I've been trying to do everything right. But hey, at least it means we don't need to worry about him, just me.

that's it really. I'm in a bit of a low place today after waking at 6.30 with a hangover yesterday for an internal ultrasound, then on to day 2 blood test, with bloody awful period pain, and then onto a wedding where every other woman either had kids or was obviously and smugly pregnant.

Morning lovely ladies!

Welcome back Beryl and Nellie. Sorry you're feeling so low. Don't worry to much beryl about the count, I understood that it varies a fair bit from month to month. I started with an awesome count of about 20-odd at my first ultra-sound and the next sonographer found about 8 the month after... So relax and take sarlat's comments to heart. Quality not quantity. Sorry about the endo and cysts nellie. Hopefully they can sort you out and get things moving in the right direction at the clinic!

Sorry to hear you're struggling too nelly. I think planning/contemplating IVF and weddings at the same time is too much. When we started TTC a few months before our wedding, I managed to take another tumble of my bike (the first in about 20 years) and broke an arm. Mended in time for the wedding, but that is how pre-occupied I was. Speaking of bikes and tumbles, I am officially exercising again. Just been for a swim, and it was lovely!!

Sympathies for tennis match loosing tipping you over the edge, joycep. But it is good to try and get accross to the men how your feeling.

We have friends coming for lunch, so I'll get on and tidy :) But for those who asked, there was no secret about it working the month my parents conceived. It was actually about 5 yrs to MC and then well over 6 to lasting pg. I did ask mum how she coped for that amount of time and got the slightly disheartening, "I did not cope, I despaired the whole time..." Which did not really help. But she is such a wonderful and happy mum and grandma, so hopefully that is in store for all of us. (Hence her being so supportive about our TTC and helping out after lap and dye and things, she does understand and also knows about supporting without being intrusive and stuff.)

Right tidy time. Laters and waves to all of you pout, princess, euro, mrsd, gin, care, sarlat, buzzy etc. Hope the sun is coming out where you are too!

Lemon what your mum said is very true, none of us cope really do we we fall aprt all the time and yet keep going

It's very true, and reassuring to hear what others say about not coping. I either block it out, worry, or get very annoyed with myself. Sometimes I try just accepting it, but that didn't last long.

If someone said to me that in 18 months time I'd have a baby, I'd be so happy and would cope with the next 9 months much better. But not knowing if or when is exhausting!

Well I caught DD sickness bug and its been pretty awful then today had some twinges and did an opk and guess what positive ovulation. OH is out with his brother tonight and I haven stopped being sick since 4am. Will try tomorrow night if I can

Sorry you are sick carrie but illness and low immune = greater chance of bfp. Get shagging .

Welcome back other nellie and beryl. Sorry you are still on this journey with us.

Weekend was fine and having nephew to stay was great. Helped by the fact he's obsessed by my mini hobble . Were a couple of baby-chat moments when Mr Nelly gave me some subtle support, but otherwise fine.

Thanks for all the concern about wedding and IVF. However as its CD1 here yet bloody again really no choice. My FSH was 11 a year ago, god only knows what it'll be now. So we've decided to have a go before the wedding. You are all going to despair when I tell you we are also meeting with planners about potentially building a house, therefore undertaking a few major home improvements in this house (just oh new kitchen, garage, bathroom) in anticipation of sale. We are officially mental. But someone please tell me it's doable, not that it's too much .

Anyway on that note, better go price up the kitchen we've chosen. And at least if I don't get upduffed I can disprove the theory about focussing on it too much.

Well muddy your certainly keeping busy!
We are also looking at a move in the next year to a 3 bedroomed place so laying the roots for adoption.
OH is on lates tomorrow so won't get in until 11 when I will be fast alseep so not sure when and if we can fit fun times in :(

evening ladies,

welcome back Nellie and Beryl

joyce I hope the barney wasn't anything serious

carrie hope you feel better soon

nelly you're a woman so can multi task

well yesterday I helped my friend with her broken ankle, I was in a foul mood all day, think it was the ovitrelle had a fight with Mr B so didn't dtd, we made up today so got a shag in so that is shag week over with time to put my feet up with a well deserved cuppa

on our way to Tesco's we passed a park where there was an old man hanging onto a bollard for dear life with no trousers on pissing himself
then actually at Tesco's I was waiting for Mr B and standing by the books, they had a table out with the book 50 shades of Grey, I was amused at how many men stopped to have a quick look, one guy put it in his trolley

I hope everyone had a good weekend, we have the Olympic torch passing through this way tomorrow.... might be able to get myself on the telly

Thanks for all the nice welcome backs! I have to say, you ladies have made me feel so much more positive. I was away this weekend (choosing my new fur baby, which I?m very excited about), and the whole time there was a little voice in my head telling me that all hope was gone on the ttc-front. But reading your messages when I got back this evening has made me feel much brighter. I?ll just have to wait and see what the consultant says in August? it?s not over (just) yet!

The new house is great, thanks princess. I love our new area and it was definitely the right move for us. I?ve also discovered a love of DIY. I find myself getting excited about going to Homebase . How is your own move coming along?

beryl oooh new fur baby :) what kind and colour??? I like to got to DIY stores too and it most certainly is not over for you

Okay, a love of DIY and homebase Beryl, that is slightly concerning but do tell all about the fur baby!

Have fun with the passing torch buzzy!

Yay for good weekend and nephew being interested in baby hobbling (oh dear that sounds so very wrong).

We had a lovely weekend too. I feel absolutely fine again so I did a fair bit of exercise, which made me feel very happy (then) and fairly sore (now). But much of it was outside in the sun, which is so good.

Hello all. Nothing sensible to to say, really. Did some carrot research, bought lots of carrots (keeps my mind off those brazil nuts). Got a sunburn on my back, I can't tell you how many times this has happened and it always makes me feel like an idiot. Cover little purple in sunscreen, do mr purples back, do my own minus back, which gets forgotten. Grrr. I'm the only lily white purple too which makes it all the more silly.

For the anthro curious among you. I do a few different things but this might give you an idea. I make socio-economic profiles of populations who's circumstances have been changed for the worse. I deal with populations who have been affected by conflict in the main, sometimes with some drought thrown in. Now I guess I just depressed everyone on a monday morning. Perhaps I should get back to carrot research. Waves...

purple that sounds really fascinating, I would love to do something like that. I loved sociology in uni and would have really liked to turn it into a career somehow. Didn't work out though, not yet anyway.

Care best of luck for your new IVF round Fx for you and 25% is still pretty good. I can completely understand your fears about feeling like an incomplete female, we all want there to be that element of magic, where it just happens without us having to stage it. I think we've probably all realised that it's not going to happen that way for us. Whether it's just DTD when we're not really in the mood or taking hormones or going for IVF. It's strange that we can accept taking medication when we're sick or having aliens removed but for some reason we have a hard time accepting conception that isn't natural. I understand it, I have the same thoughts running through my head on bad days but rationally it's no different. It's the end that justifies the means. When you consider all the barriers even the healthiest of eggs and sperm face, it's monumental that humans can procreate at all. Pretty much every other species has a much easier time of it and then if you consider how many women used to die in childbirth and how many children didn't make it to adulthood (before modern medicine), it's shocking that we even exist at all. That probably sounds really negative but despite all those odds, we exist and we shouldn't feel badly that we might need a bit of help when so much is working against us. In the scheme of things, it's so, so minor.

princess I'm very happy to try both brazil nuts and Brazilian nuts if it will help. I have a hot hot* hot Brazilian samba teacher. I'm sure MrM will realise I'm just taking one for the team. Also loving the back, sack and crack visual.

lemon I was like you, I kind of knew that I would have a hard time conceiving as well. I had no real reason to believe this as my mother conceived me at 43, the first month they decided to stop using protection but I always had the sneaking suspicion that because I wanted it so badly, more than anything else, that it would be the one thing I would really have to fight for. Completely irrational I know. DH thought I'd get pregnant on the honeymoon. Don't I feel smug now :(

Welcome back Beryl and nellie. Yay for new furbaby!

sarlat good luck and lots of positivity to you for your FET

Looks like things are moving forward for a lot of people on this thread. Good luck to you as well Nelly, that is a very full plate you have but also a lot of nice things to look forward to and keep you going.

Good news over here. My temps have stayed above the coverline and Fertility Friend has given me a nice big fat OV line on CD24. Plus we even managed to DTD that day. I would have been very pissed off after having DTD something like 12 times in 15 days if we had just given up and missed this cycle completely. Gladly we kept on chugging along. Unfortunately, now, neither of us ever want to have sex again. Think I might have to rework shagweek next time, we were a bit overambitious this cycle and then when OV just wouldn't come . . . yeah TTC is great for your sex life.

Despite being so active I don't have much hope for this cycle. It was just too odd with temps all over the place and spotting on two occasions. I'm considering ovulating at all a success for this cycle. If I had to guess, I would say that perhaps my right ovary (the one that had the alien) isn't working very well. I'm pretty sure I OV'd from the left last month and was expecting to OV from the right this month and I think I was gearing up to it but when we got there, there was no egg to be found so we went back and 8 days later did it from the left. I have a definite heavy, twingey feeling from the left now. Could be bollocks but that's my guess.

We've booked a luxury suite at Niagara Falls to kick off our vacation in Canada/US in August and I've worked out that if next cycle is a normal one I might just OV while we're there. Yes, I may have already decided to name my firstborn daughter Niagara or Falla let myself get a wee bit carried away. Hope lives eternal.

just popping as work is rather quiet and I can't see patients due to the torch

medusa where in the US/Canada are you going, I went to Niagara years ago and have been around New Engalnd for my honeymoon, loved it

purple your job sounds really interesting

lemon glad you had a lovely weekend

well i'm having a bit of a barney with MIL, she called yesterday and spoke to Mr B and asked him to ask me if I could speak to one of her work colleagues who has just had a second miscarriage, he also said that she had mentioned IVF in Prague
anyway I eamiled MIL and said should I call the friend or will she contact me, she asked if I could call her and that she would be visiting the freind on Tuesday, well I'm not in the best of moods but I just saw red, she didn't bloody come and see me 2 days after my ERPC nor did she acknowledge IVF when I mentioned it to her, so I have said to her that I was surprised she was goingt o see the friend as she did not make this effort with me, she said she did come to see me but I was in bed, which was true, she did call and ask how I was and if I was back at work, Mr B had to keep explaining that I was not well enough to go back to work which of course made me fweel worse than I already did, i have just send her a reply letting her know how I feel, just waiting for the shit to hit the fan............

We're flying into Toronto and doing a road trip type thing up to Niagara and then through New York State and Vermont to Maine and then back through Quebec. Should be nice, I'm really looking forward to it.

Let your MIL have it. I get really tired of hearing how badly DIL's get treated in some families. You are the next generation, you are the one with her son, you are the one that will be giving her grandchildren and you deserve respect. Will Mrbuzzy stand by your side with this? If so, you'll be fine :)

I have the MIL from hell but fortunately the only person who likes her even less than I do is MrM so we have very little to do with her and it works out great for all of us.

Hi guys

missm well done you for persevering past CD24 - and have a wonderful time on your holiday. Hopefully it will be just the break you need! And fingers crossed for a little Niagara! Like the sound of the samba teacher.

buzzy sorry to hear about your MIL. She sounds very insensitive.

purple sorry about the sunburn - I always get sunburnt, being like you of the lily-white variety. It's so easy to miss a spot! Interesting about the carrots.

welcome back beryl and nellie - beryl the new furbaby sounds very exciting! nellie I totally understand the timing thing - it is the uncertainty of all this that is so difficult.

lemon exercise and sunlight are always a real mood booster for me too - glad you're feeling better.

sarlat good luck with your FET. I have everything crossed for you. We are here for you and sending out positive thoughts to the universe - bring sarlat her baby!

muddy I can't believe that you're doing house stuff as well! What an absolute champ - I am super impressed .

princess Resisting strawberry gelato! I bow down in awe. You have managed this three month period of brownness so well - you deserve a medal. at the Brazilian nuts and the back sack n crack waxes.

carrie sorry you've been under the weather

joy I sympathise about the 'behaving like a pregnant woman'. It seems unfair. And it is so dispiriting. Aargh.

gin it's great that you're going to do another round in October - what is the clinic's advice about the sperm fragmentation, is there any way they can give you some answers?

Well, my news is that I had my scan and blood test on Saturday, and my lining had thickened but there weren't any follicles, and apparently my blood test showed that my body wasn't doing much. So the doctor is cancelling this cycle and will see me when I get back from hols in mid-August. I don't know whether they will then up the dose of Clomid to 150 again, which would be my sixth round of the stuff, or move me onto injectibles. I'm obsessing over wondering about a couple of things - first, when I did get periods, they were always 6-7 weeks apart, so maybe my body just takes a long time to crank up to ovulation - my sister's periods are the same. And second, last month I was taking Agnus Castus and various other supplements, and ovulated (with the help of the drugs, but at least I produced a follie), but this month I haven't been taking the supps. I wonder whether the AC made a difference. Anyway, I'm going to start taking it again, and try to chill for the next 3 weeks until I can go back to the clinic and see what they say.

Waves to everyone I've missed - euro, pout, rabbit, care, artemis and everyone else that I'm too dopey to remember this morning. I'm thinking of you all.