TTC for 10+ months, part 8

[eurochick]

A friendly, supportive thread for those taking a blooming long time to conceive!

Just quickly, thank you for the knickers post Pout I was starting to think I would have to run for the hills due to my rubbish underwear. I have a hard enough time getting the clothes that people can see in a reasonable state and barely manage that. I shop for knickers in what I believe are called "bargain bins" (then I moan about the price).

Oh hi Medusa x-post. Enjoyed your river of shit earlier.

princess I fear that I haven't read the chapter in the manual on not posting in AIBU...why do I do it? castigates self I know that it is not the place to stick your head above the parapit but yet I have found myself posting on a chivalry thread and outing myself as a pathetic female who likes nothing better than feigning girlie delicateness and allowing "big strong" men to do manly stuff for me. Whhhhhyyyyyyy??????????????? Can I name change, can I hide the thread, deactivate my account......

BTW I love your e-mail to rude, wants jam on it freebie hunters. Excellent

purple I am led to believe that such things are indeed called a "bargain bin" tries to block out the fact that I will wrestle to the ground small children and the elderly in an effort to get to a bargain bin first and will throw myself headlong into said "bin" waist deep to get to the good stuff at the bottom

Dr Fish. I bet they pronounce it Fysh Well you would wouldn't you!

princess sorry to hear about your flat sale falling through

purple at the bargin bins, I used to wait for Gap to have their sale so i could buy my fundies at 99p

medusa with regards to sperm, I believe in quality not quantity, so usually every 2-3 days,Mr B likes to rest and I think it gives him a chance to get to the boys ready

lemon glad yo are on the mend,hospital gowns are total passion killers

well I thought I'd be putting on the Boots but actually the ERTD arrived this morning although I thought I was on CD19, I looked at the calender and realised that this when my period was due but I thought I had postponed it for a few days last month with all the bottom bullets (progesterone) but clearly my body does not like to be mucked about so its now CD1 which I am fine about as I haven't really had any PMT. I did have a bit of a panic as my drugs aren't being delivered until Saturday, so had to make lots of phone calls and Mr Shehatas nurse said I could get the gonal f from them. So drove to Epsom like some loon in between patients, so here we go again..........

waves to everyone

pout have you posted on AIBU then. I have to say I do read it sometimes, it cracks me up but it can be so brutal

buzzy Yeah, I am an idiot. To post on a thread with a bit of a feminist theme going on was doubly stupid. I'm going to hide it and pretend it never happened

Sorry that you have got AF instead of donning The Boots
Glad that you managed to get your drugs. What a stressful nightmare this all is!

Lol to the pants talk, yup I think its time you went shopping.
Glad your on the mend lemons.
I don't understand why all of us have had all kinds of fertility tests yet they don't do a smear as standard. I got my letter the other day and thought they must have done that with the amount of swabs I had done.
Back at the gp today. She wants to monitor me longer on the kidney/liver front and blood clotting as she wants to see what the cons is going to do for me. She said I should ask for the lap and if he refuses and discharges me then she will refer me to gyne to get my periods sorted. I can't cope with the length, heaviness and pain any longer. She said it has to be my endo. She also asked about what tests OH had other than SA I said none. She now wants him in the surgery for hormone tests. She asked about his sex drive and I felt awful saying it was very low but he didn't want to come in and mention it. She was brilliant. Have told OH and he said ok but won't be round tonight ot tomorrow so feel a bit opps

Also posted on "Panic I have a problem with my Arse". Saw it and thought hey all things arse is my specialised subject. I am now content to have regaled more people about the saga of my pile and am nearer completing my mission of informing the whole of the UK about my misery.

Carrie I'm glad that your GP is on board with your endo. Sorry that you still have liver and kidney issues. I know that kidney problems can make you feel like absolute cak.
I'm sure that your OH won't be too pissed off about telling your doctor about his sex drive. It's not like you've told anyone in your personal circle. I'm sure he will reflect and be okay about it.

He's going to have to be ok about it. He's always been like that and if that's who he is fine I can accept that but it doesn't hurt to rule it out and frankly the amount of embarrasment I have had to go through with fanny cams while on period, HSG and gyne exams then he can cope with a blood test. I sound harsh don't I but the doctor did ask. Poor guy he's a really good person and I have not concerns in that are other than frequency. He could be right it might just be me he overthinks it and is obsessed lol

You don't sound harsh carrie at all. A blood test is no great shakes and if it allays some concerns all the better. I have said similar things to DH when he was resisting taking his vitamins about how I have undergone all kinds of humiliating and undignified shit and he can't be arsed to pop a pill every day. I was bemoaning last night in fact how investigating infertility revolves around the woman even though, in our case, there is no evidence to suggest that I actually have the problem. I know it is the way the cookie crumbles (and I wouldn't wish it on DH) but harummphing about a blood test is bound to piss you off.

Yeah your right they get one test and that's it generally. I didn't like the way the cons said to him that if he was with someone 'normal' he might not have a problem. So low mobility isn't a problem and he was with someone 'normal' and they tried but failed. (Only for 6 months).
I feel its more pressure on us anyway as we are the ones that have to say AF has arrived every month. I feel like I am leeting him down everytime. Sigh I need to cheer up. I have the number of the staff support network for my work place and will make an appointment by the end of the week to see if it helps.
How's everyone else doing? I wish I could make the north meet up but it will be a hectic day getting to Leeds and back on public transport. I think there is a mega bus mind you

"with someone normal" - what an utterly disgracefully, tactless thing for a doctor to have said. Why is it that infertility is treated with such lack of empathy or tact time and time again?

You aren't letting anyone down least of all your OH. Love is about more than producing a baby on cue. If someone loves you and you love them it is the shared baby that is wanted, not any old baby with any old person. Please don't feel like you are failing at all.
Definitely give the support network a call, you sound really fed up and if you have access to that resource use it
Sending lots of hugs your way.

pout at you commenting on the arse thread will have to look it up

carrie with someone 'normal' what a f*ckwit, I'm curious about the male hormone tests though, Mr B doesn't have a great sex drive either but he has been to see the GP and his blood tests were fine, the support network sounds good, big hugs x

I will call the them tomorrow and make an appointment for next week as I broke down at me desk today but not badly. Think it was just a relief to have the doctor talk and offer help.
Its his testosterone they are looking at. I think its hard when a guy has a low drive as they won't do anything about it due to not looking man enough. Its just silly as everyone is different. Im hoping it is lol. To be fair he does jump to attention and gets the job done at the right times.
He's said the same he's not with me to be a baby making machine and loves me. Plus he adores my DD and says he would never take her dads place but is proud to be part of her life. See he's a good one when he wants to be

pout you are making me cackle a lot with your bargain bin pants and arse story sharing Where are these freads?! I never venture out of the ttc ones. Am scared I'll be shunned for being a barren. Btw, my pants are strictly m&s. The bum floss ones are no longer worn. Mr gun is a lucky man...

Fur baby is good thanks, although coming on holiday this weekend as I'm too worried about leaving her with someone. Totally ridiculous seeing that she's a guinea pig!!

princess sorry to hear the sale has fallen through but at least now you are back on the swi horse you won't have to do it with the 'rents about!

carry I wonder if your heavy, long periods may be to do with your blood clotting issues? When I was googling symptoms, pre my blood test, dr google said this could be a symptom of the disorder. I've still not had my results back!

buzzy sorry to hear about ertd. Is the gonal f for super ovulation?

Waves to all and hope euro is doing ok

gin most of my fundies are m&s too, I still have the odd bum flosses around, what colour is your fur baby ?? Ihad guinea pigs as a kid

pout i could n't find the thread

What symptoms and disorder Gin?

I have also had a thought I might refuse to get weighed when I go see the cons as they do it everytime and for what? They won't give me IVF so I don't see why I should as I am not getting any treatment and weight doesn't change

All the pant chat is making me chuckle! I'm afraid I'm still of the floss variety, but if it makes it better, it's the soft CK sporty version not the slutty skimpy lace version . When I was going to visit my sister last month she made me go to M&S and buy her multi-packs of granny pants. I was horrified! She'd given me the style name, and I looked at them and thought naaaaaa and had to phone her 3000 miles away to check if these parachutes were really the type of things pregnant ladies wore .

carrie you do sound very down, grab any help that's offered to you just now. What great news that your GP is being so supportive though. Could you perhaps tell a little white lie to your OH and just say the doctor needs to do further blood tests to rule out any underlying infections or hormone imbalances, and omit the small detail that you shared a mild concern about his sex drive? I'm not really one for lying to people we love but sometimes a strategic omission is the lesser of the two evils? I too am appalled at the "someone normal" comment. WTAF

princess oh no about the valuation. The Greek economy must be worse than we thought, despite the attempts of this thread to single handedly revive it! Any news from that front joy?

FFS to arrival of AF buzzy and mad dashes across town to procure drugs - and they aren't even of the illegal variety!

Love the new name rabbit

Right once again have forgotten everything else I wanted to comment on so will slink away again! Not much happening here other than I phoned my GP surgery to see if I can get copies of my results etc for the IVF clinic :( I guess that is making it reality. Although given how protracted a conversation this was, it may be some time before I have paperwork in my hand.

nelly I quite like 'shorts' a bit more practical for work, i'm not too worried about my oldies seeing me flash them when are you planning to have IVF

gin sorry forgot to answer your question, yes this is for super ovulation, not sure how many more we will do, It does make me wonder if I do have IVF how much stimulation will I need as I'm now trying 150mgs

All this pant talk is very funny. I need a serious underwear audit!

Pout - your thoughts on impacted shoulder and potential tilted womb make sense to me. Yes - painful and clotty periods are one of the signs of a tilted womb my woo lady says. This is because the womb has to work harder to contract as it 'needs to go around the bend a bit'. I'm not saying you definatly have a tilted womb but worth some thought. Are your smears ever uncomfy oweing to extra polking around to 'find' your cervix? My cervix sits to one side so not easy to access straight away. I guess you could get a book about it. Depeneding on where you live I could give you the details of my lady.

Rabbitt - the IVF waiting list in my area is short. So at the final meeting stage with the Consultant after all the necissary tests have done, I simply agreed to proceed with IVF. I then was giving a document to take to reception and book in a nurse consultation. For me this was only 1 month later. Maybe for other areas this appointment takes months. At the nurse consultation stage exact dates were given to start meds in realation to my cycle. I completed loads of paperwork - what to do with excess embryos and more health questions etc. The consultant had already worked out the protocol (the exact drugs and doses) at the earlier consultation. I think it is quite easy to put off IVF even when you have alread agreed to the go ahead - you just say you want 2 more months or whatever. They asked me if I had holidays and were happy to be flexible. With FET, they told me I could go again whenever I wanted. My nurse consultation appointment is only a 3 week wait this time. Good luck with your upcoming appointments.

Artemis - will send some restaurant ideas to your inbox - can't wait!! NORTHERN MEET UP IS COMING!!!!

Evening chaps

Quick catch up from me. I'm away at a conference in the most minging hotel. Posting from my phone so please excuse random typos. There is no wifi but instead there are hairs in my bed that are not mine. If it wasn't so late I'd have bailed out and found somewhere else.

Commiserations to Euro, what utterly shitty news. I can't come up with anything more eloquent than has already been said but what a good decision to abandon the IVF and I hope you get it sorted quickly.

Sympathy too for princess on the flat sale. That is rubbish. Maybe there's a silver lining: no living with the in-laws? But the viewing rigmarole is tedious and exhausting.

I've just been catching up and you've all cheered me up immensely with talk of shit rivers and greying pants (solidarity with the Pout underwear drawer - I frequently think 'should I bin these? Nah, they're good for one more wear'). I'm interested in the testosterone theory Carrie and totally with you at the unfairness of investigation being focused on the woman when the diagnosis is unexplained. They have found nothing wrong with me or DH yet I'm the one labelled 'infertile', not him.

I can't catch up properly, just wanted to say i'll be in touch when I'm back on Saturday with an executive decision on location of the northern meet. Really looking forward to it (and not just because Princess says I can pretend I'm in Spooks)

Going to try to sleep now without dreaming of strangers' pubes. Actually this is not the worst hotel ever. I once stayed in a B&B where the glass in the bathroom had a massive black pube proudly attached to the rim. Put me right off eating any food the next morning I can tell you.

Artemis sorry bout pube hotel. I've been there, I think. And Princess on the flat fall through, on this though I have zero experience. We are still complete gypsies and rent wherever we are. It has it's advantages but I still get the fear when 'everyone' disappears off to 'their place' for the summer or my younger sister talks about DIY on the new house they just bought. Perhaps that doctor was right years ago and husband should have bought wifey nice house then babies would have arrived? (not serious) Our 'lifestyle' was a massive issue with the adoption too. I think it's normal though to judge yourself against others, from time to time, TTC aside.

Please indulge me: Friday the 13th doctors appointment preparations. OB/GYN recommendation from a friend (delivered her two babies and removed a fibroid in between). My agenda: get on the books of an OB/GYN which I'm not currently (moved here a year ago), and give him my non-baby making history, get smear test, check not housing new alien and double check this UTI has gone as its been a troublesome one. My secret agenda: reveal that this doctor takes a massive interest in my situation, is super positive and full of wonderful, non invasive ideas to help me out.

When I meet a complete twat who laughs at the old, obviously barren, lady I will not be surprised (but will complain about it a lot). But the maintenance needs to be done, and I don't know he is a twat yet.

Ok, done, thanks for that. I think I should note down my agenda (not the stuff about him being a twat) so I don't get confused once I'm there, which I can see happening midst the laughing.

Many waves to all.

Euro - the op to get rid of the hpv doesn't sound nice. I hope you have that whilst asleep? It will be interesting to see whether this affects your Nk cell levels as well.

Pout - I am sadly on the same page as you on the knicker front. Well a disgrace below because I don't have any sexy undies. I find myself in m&s every 5 years and I'm drawn to knockers with cherries on and ones with pretty bows - something a 12 year old would wear well in fact 12 year olds today probably do sexy , so let's make that 8yr old. I am embarrasses when I go to the acupuncturist as he must wonder what is going on as he rolls down the top of my jeans and pants!

Princess - sorry about the flat sale falling through what a pain in the arse.

Lemon - I hope you are feeling better. SI do you get wiped out after an anaesthetic? Would I need to take time off work of if I have one?

Going to post this and go on to next page.

Sarlat - I enjoyed reading about this woo you had done. It sounds good. Did you say there were only two people in the country who do it?

Buzzy - sorry about ertd. When do you start IuI?

Purple - I really hope your appointment is constructive and you get someone's proper time and interest.

Carrie - shocked at that awful comment that cons make . What the hell is wrong with people?

Gin - I didn't realise you had a guinea , I thought it was a rabbit. How cute. Who looks after furry one when you go away?

We went round to a gay couple for dinner last night. You know two men , safe from preggy announcements- I can cope with this social event. But oh f'ing no - it twas nt to be. They are expecting , well their surrogate is. The due date is the exact same as mine would have been but obviously it would be 2 years later.. My lip was quivering and they would not shut up about it all night. It was horrendous and I was so annoyed because they weren't drinking because they were pregnant. I told them I thought that was ridiculous as they weren't the ones who were actually pregnant. We had to listen how this woman in her mid 30s turkey bastered herself once with their sperm and that gets her pregnant on the first month. Ok I am in awe of this woman and in awe of how her body does that but still it makes me wonder what the hell is going on with my bod.

I should have known. I fell asleep half crying but half laughing and shaking my head in disbelief at the thought that a gay couple who haven't been 'trying' for a year have got someone up stuffed without even having sex.

Sorry I am delighted for them obviously (fake smile) but I feel my blood pressure rising!!!