Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

[lolfactor]

Shiny new thread - over here everyone

[goldengirl71]

Thanks, Womble, and Irish, i think you are particularly trouper-like for offering me kind words when you are only just emerging from something far more heart-wrenching and disappointing. I have just offered a rubbish description of how it feels to miscarry and I was only thinking today (inbetween mouthfuls of tear-streaked Jelly Tots) that I need to bloody well pull myself together. It's not like I've lost a baby. I've had a BFN, and if this last year has taught me anything it's that I had better get a bastard grip of the fact that this process takes indefatigable back bone and steeliness. We have to be ready, every month, to say 'I did my best but it wasn't to be'. We have to be able to then say, 'but I shall stop wailing and try again'.

DP is working but checking in via phone every, ooh, 15 minutes (you know, suicide watch). A wave of nausea has just hit me but I have realised it is the aroma of yet another steaming turd coming from some adjacent corridor where the kittens are playing. Aside from the 160g bag of Jelly Tots which I am mindlessly overdosing on I am consoling myself with the remnants of last night's box of Milk Tray which DP brought home after visiting his son on Saturday. (You newbies will be cheered to know that DP's ex and mother to his seven year-old son got pregnant and gave birth to this, her first and only child, at the age of 45. Bitch).

[lotsofcheese]

Sorry golden - didn't mean to force you back on the Demon Drink!!

Maybe you have a tummy bug & that's what's causing the nausea, diarrhoea & raised temperatures?

Go console yourself with large amounts of chocolate!

I'm just in from work & had to eat some Emergency Lindt chocolate as ravenous!!

Got 8 week scan tomorrow. Feeling relatively pragmatic about it - what will be, will be etc & trying not to stress over things I can't control or change.

But I hate that bloody scan room!! It's always shite news for me there! And we're due to go on holiday (just locally, but a posh hotel for DP & me for 1 night then 2 nights with DS in a kiddie-friendly resort) Every time we go on holiday, or try to, I have a sodding miscarriage!

Well, 3 times in the last year or so I guess it highlights how much ttc & m/c dominate your life - am fed up with my life being on hold for nothing!!

Don't know if we'll try again if this doesn't work.......

[goldengirl71]

Crumbs, Cheese, you've had it tough. Can't wait to hear tomorrow that the scan went well. 'Tis true those places are vile if our memories are painful. You must be really looking forward to your time away. Lucky girl...enjoy! Let us know when you're back from your appointment. Will be thinking of you x

[goldengirl71]

...life being on hold for nothinng.. I hear you, sister

[littlepinkfizz]

Oh cheese fingers x for you that you are able to thoroughly relax and enjoy your holiday for once .

golden your a brave one alright. 2 years sober is fantastic. I really admire anyone who even tries to fight their addiction. Being previously married to an addict of a sort who would not go for any help or admit that he had a problem. I had had problems also and fought them and have never looked back and an stronger than ever.
You are a fightergolden. Don't let a bfn this month put you off or bring you down. May e forget the whole ff next month and go with the flow. .?? Thinking of you anyway x

[lotsofcheese]

Thanks for listening & understanding - I needed to get that off my chest!!

That's what I like about this thread; that everyone understands & supports eachother, we all have ups & downs, tragedies & triumphs.

I suppose that's what makes us the Fantastic Over-40's on the thread tile....

[goldengirl71]

Thanks, Pink. I just think it could be worse, you know? We could be Deirdre Barlow...

[hippychick66]

Sorry to hear you didn't get a BFP today golden. Cry as much as you need to - the day your little lost one should have been born is a terribly sad and emotional day. One simply can't stop the 'if only' thoughts. Hoping you have a little embryo in there who is just making you wait.

Love to all who know me.

Glad to see the temp hike Calibee - hope the troops were in place??

Thinking of the lovely Angelgeorgie as the 10th approaches - much love to you and little G xxxxx

[littlepinkfizz]

golden what are you talking about..., we could be Ken... Xxxxx

[AngelGeorgie]

Thanks Hippy indeed a bittersweet time again . We just donated to SANDS in lieu of Georgie's birthday... So very sad thanks for remembering my gorgeous angel xxxxxx

[sparklysapphire]

hi everyone, I've just been catching up. Sorry about your BFN golden, especially on your due date, take good care of yourself/eat as much chocolate/jelly tots etc as you need. And better luck next month.
Calibee, hoping you get a result before your DP goes away. Great news on your scan somewhere, are you relaxing a bit now? Good luck for your scan this week cheese.
Welcome to womble, tracey & pinkfizz, hope you have short stays here for the right reasons.
Tina, I have everything crossed for you, the 2ww must be incredibly hard for you - good luck.
Angel, thinking of you this week, and miasmum as the inquest approaches, lots of love to you both.
Not much to report here, I haven't posted for a while as I don't think I'm in with a chance this month, due to DH being away & then us both having horrible colds, so we haven't had enough sex, though DTD on cd18, when EWCM made a late appearance. And now not really sure when AF due, more precisely than sometime next week. It's been 9 months now. Also we are all still trying to get our heads round school - as shift workers, we are not used to a regular mon-fri routine & having to get up at the same time every day, and DD's never been an early riser, so it's a shock to the system all round. She seems to be enjoying school though.
I hope gum is having a lovely holiday. Hi to everyone else.

[goldengirl71]

Hello everyone. I'd like to send my condolences to those remembering loved ones at this time.

Hi, Sparkly, you don't sound as though you chart your temps - is there a reason for this? How do you cope?

My temperature is exactly the same as yesterday, which is high. I refused to POAS this morning after yesterday's BFN from First Response. With no AF symptoms I am now back to clutching-at-straws mode. What the blardy heck is going on, ladies??

[goldengirl71]

Pink, any opinion on Ken's typewriter key cufflinks last night?

[goldengirl71]

Tina, when I think of you and how you are only four days away from knowing your results I slap my face hard and realise my 'wait' is nothing in comparison to yours. I am wishing, wishing, wishing for a BFP for you on Saturday (or two!) xx

[lotsofcheese]

golden beyond POAS tomorrow I can't suggest anything else - other than chocolate.

Tina crossing everything for you

Thinking of the ladies (miasmum angelgeorgie who are going through challenging times.

In an hour or so, I'll know if I have a viable pregnancy or not. DP says I'm "unnecessarily negative" - he keeps talking like he assumes it will work out

[goldengirl71]

Cheese, love, your DP is simply feeling the weight of your (sensible) refusal to be excited, that is all. Please know we are all rooting for you xx

[lotsofcheese]

Just updating that I have a viable pregnancy, dated 8+3, with a good strong heartbeat. It's a relief they at least found something - was expecting a blighted ovum or early mmc.

I have another scan booked for 2 weeks' time - as I lost the last baby at 9ish weeks.

So I'm not out the woods by any means, but have crossed the 1st hurdle.

Just another month of m/c metalling to go, then it'll be about cvs/downs/amnio & finally about PE recurring

Here we go again!

[littlepinkfizz]

Hooray cheese hooray! x

[littlepinkfizz]

golden oh so tasteful ...
Howare you this morning? Hope you are treating yourself to plenty of chocolate .have you tried acupuncture?

[goldengirl71]

Cheese, I am thrilled for you. And well done, sticky bean!

Pink, I am very well thank you, love. I am so over chocolate after the last 36 hours. I am now overdosing on crap DVDs from our local (two miles away) shop. I am officially 15½ DPO with no sign of AF and let's not forget that beautifully high temp this morning! Could I be in the 1% crew of women for whom First Response get it wrong??

Acupuncture: hmmm...I do not believe in alternative therapies and in particular cupuncture. I do not wish to negate other women's positive experiences with this therapy but I, personally, think it's a ton of hogwash which the fertility industry has cynically thrust upon women desperate to make their bodies 'relax'. For me, the best route to relaxation is real exercise which produces real endorphines, real dopamine and real serotonin. And it's free. And it keeps the weight off. Here's another (far more serious) consequence of putting our faith in these pseudo-experts known as acupuncturists. The following is a post I've read this morning from a woman who is 40+12 on the antenatal thread:

"Then went for acupuncture and the acupuncturist had a doppler and said she was worried about the baby's heartrate as it was only 70 bpm and I should go to triage. After the treatment she tried again and it was 140 but she still said i should go. So I spoke to the homebirth midwife who said she really shouldn't be using a doppler as she wasn't a midwife but as she had mentioned this, I would have to pop in. So I did and all fine of course. But not contracting at all. And I am 40+12 tomorrow! I wonder if the acupuncturist was listening to my heartbeat.... anyway.

I have a meeting with the consultant and a sweep with the mw tomorrow. I know they will put me under pressure to book in for induction and having been really positive about the whole going into labour spontaneously thing, I am now feeling really wobbly and like maybe it's just not something my body can do....

The acupuncturist also said that to be this far along indicated a problem. Then the triage midwife said the placenta fails post 42 weeks. I've done my research and I know that isn't always the case. But it's amazing how much you start to doubt yourself as time goes on. Especially when you are doing this on your own actually."

You can find the thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1565547-Last-week-or-two-of-pregnancy?pg=14

I think acupuncturists should keep their fecking noses out of pregnancy. Massaged ovaries my arse

[goldengirl71]

Just re-reading the above and I feel so angry on the poor pregnant woman's behalf. How dare her acupuncturist say that 'to be this far along indicated a problem? Silly bitch. What does she know? And what's she doing with a doppler? I'll bet midwives just love^ acupuncturists..

[goldengirl71]

AF has just arrived. Fucking furious with my body, my temps, fertility friend, DP's sperm, my thermometer, my ovaries, DP's lack of ability to fuck me 24/7 around ovulation, mumsnet, pregnant women everywhere, DP's ex, DP's fucking psycho son, acupuncturists...

[Irishmammybread]

golden , life just isn't fair sometimes.
It's completely understandable to feel like you do,especially with your AF arriving just around your due date and temp/symptoms raising your hopes,it's only natural.
However it's the fresh start of a new cycle now with every chance this could be the one. You are strong, you'll get through this, and we're all here to offer each other support and will each other on.

cheese great to hear your scan went well. I know we've both experienced a later loss , but you have to keep telling yourself that it is unusual, it's much more likely that everything will be fine! Hope you can relax on your holiday and enjoy yourself.

[AngelGeorgie]

Thanks all for your lovely kind words...Cheese yeh... Congrats on your scan : another day out of the way , a step at a time xxxx .. Having had ( pre Georgie) a Mmc at 13 weeks & mc at 8 weeks know you have to break pg down in to stages ( 2 weekly for me from scan to scan) scans are so frightening. I had 11 or 12 with Phebs & still hated everyone . When you ve had a crappy experience you re always going to imagine the worst outcome. However, there's lots of us that come through the other side.... Fab news today xxxx
Hi all xxxx

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

On the phone and awake early, so can't name-check everyone...

cheese what fantastic news about your little bean. Or maybe we should refer to it as little cheese? hold onto Angel's mantra, for today I am pregnant.

angel just love for you and Georgie today, pure love.

golden what a total bummer. Even when you know AF is likely, a tiny part of you still wants your body to trick all the symptoms and show you a BFP.

Had my 32-week scan yesterday. Sonographer confirmed that there is no vasa previa visible and that I have a normal, and very wiggly baby. Also agreed a date in early Dec to meet baby...

Mia's inquest starts on Monday, and my parents arrived yesterday. It is all very real now.