Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

[lolfactor]

Shiny new thread - over here everyone

Woolywomble, we crossed posts there. Welcome to this thread I'm really sorry about your miscarriage. As you've already seen, this thread has some success stories for the over-40s but also alot of sadness and desperation. The ttc journey is hard/boring/frustrating/painful/disappointing/exhausting when you're 40+. The truth is, the gloomy statistics are right for most women of our age and they only get worse. But, a small percentage get to realise their dream...and we are all fervently hoping we will be next

We all understand how your loss has now prompted something feverish inside which you can't shake off or give up the idea of. Just accept that you are now on a mission to be pregnant again, that you probably have one more shot at it (seeing as DH is reluctant) and that it may take a long time. Or not. Miscarriages on here are high and there's no escaping the fact. But we're all here to support one another. The best of luck to you. P.s..don't even try pretending that you'll just 'let nature take its course' - it's too late for that. Go with the scientific approach: get temping, charting and OPKing. Read Zita West's Guide To Getting Pregnant and google the Sperm Meets Egg Plan. The best of luck

Woolly (or sould I call you Womble? I like Womble) I know I have bossed you around enough already but here's another tip: join fertilityfriend.com. It's so helpful and educational; you'll soon get the hang of charting.

Please can I be a little more depressing? Don't fall for the 'women are extra fertile right after a miscarriage' myth. It's not true. Not for me, anyway. I just don't want you to feel as much of a failure as I did when I didn't get pregnant in my first post-miscarriage cycle. Or the next...or the next...or the next (I'm still waiting seven months later)

Thx goldengirl, womble's fine with me! Have already ordered the book and googled the plan - I'm a willing student Will have a look at fertility friend next. Will take on board the fertility thing after mc too. It's all a bit academic yet as still only a week post mc and suspect first AF will be a long while off. It's weird how I want time to speed up yet not get any older at the same time..

Womble, I hear you, sister...

Can someone please help me ?
I am lurking here and 41My period is always 32 days making ov around day 16. we had sex only on days 8 and 14.(dh had stents in place)
Boobs are bigger ( never happens before AF) and I only want to sleep and cry the last 10 days. Really proper cry . Really ....
Well the slapping needs to start now
I did two tests on days 27 and 28 (both negative...)

yesterday (day 33 ) the sickness started ( possibly my mind right??)
So today ( as if I am rich right?) I did a supermarket test ( again -ve ) a strip test (-ve) and in the afternoon a brown goooey with a tiny bit of red ( tmi) when I wiped. So I tested again and still negative
Happened twice but it cannot be implantion because I am now 2 days late ( I am regular) and nothing else...
Is all this a wtf cicle?
A had a really heavy bleeding wtf after mc but was perfect after that...
Can someone slap me please?
Or please tell me what to do???

Hellonotsoold, I'm sorry I can't be of much help, but I think you just have to wait. It is possible to have a late implantation, and the brown discharge could be a result of that, or it could be the start of your period, which could be late.But anything is possible, some people don't get a + test til 17 days post ovulation. The thing is, although your period is usually clockwork, it can change and you may have ovulated later than usual. Sorry I'm not much help am I? I do know how all this waiting can drive a women mad.

Golden, my love, you really must try to stop taking everything I say literally,or stop skim reading ("do women really have babies to avoid having to work crap jobs?? ". I did not have a baby to get out of my job that I wasn't enjoying. As I said, I wanted a baby, and I also wanted some time away from my job - that was secondary- the baby came first. Had I not had a baby, I would have taken some time off my job anyway. The baby was a very good excuse. Having said that, I can't speak for all women, and perhaps some do have a baby to get out of a crap job, but anyone who has had a baby will tell you that it is really swapping one job for another, having a baby is very hard work, not an excuse for a holiday.

When do you think you will test? Or will that depend on tomorrow's temperature? I am getting excited for you. Especially as you felt sick the other night. Do you have any other symptoms?

Woolywomble - welcome to the thread. I hope you don't have to wait too long.I understand how it is after a miscarriage with a reluctant DH. My DH is the same age as yours and really feels done with all of it. Unfortunately ,although coming closer to being done with it, I'm still hopeful of a happy ending. I've had three miscarriages, two at about 9-10 weeks and one earlier,and my grief after the first two was pretty awful and my DH doesn't want to go through that again. He doesn't understand that the alternative (not ttc) is worse. At least when you are ttc there is some glimmer of hope. I do hope you have success.

P.S. The link to ebay seems to be gone, thank goodness

[yells at Gum, panicking]: I wasn't talking about yoooouuuu!!!! I was actually referring to poor JBrd and it got me thinking how I wish I had had babies instead of staying in shit jobs I would be a mum of thirty-two by now I won't be testing, Gum. Tomorrow's temp will say it all and I've barely spoken to DP all night thanks to being on a different planet. I feel so sad that tomorrow will be just like all the previous six months..

I'm feeling pretty rubbish about ttc at the moment - at least I see the gynae on Wednesday fat lot of fucking good that will do.

Golden, (Gum takes firm grip of Golden and shakes her), snap out of it, there's a really good chance you could be pregnant this time. And if you are not, then you can get pregnant next month.I know waiting is impossible. It feels like it will never happen for you, but there's a very good chance that it will. You got pregnant before and you can again. Have faith, it will happen.

And,yes, you can see the gynae on Wednesday,and s/he may have some suggestions about where to go from here.You are 41, still a spring chicken in my view.

Hang in there,girl,remember your DH loves you and so do your moggies.

BTW, how is that you are posting - isn't it the middle of the night in the UK??

Good morning, Notsoold, and welcome . I am terribly afraid I didn't understand a blardy word of what you said (I am old and it is late)! I am sorry you have had a miscarriage - when was that? The gooey brown/red stuff sounds like spotting to me; I would imagine your period is on its way, two days late. I agree with Gum*; you must've ovulated later in your cycle. You cannot be sure you ov on CD16 unless you are charting (or you're one of these rare and sacred creatures who can feel ovulation).

I'm usually the first to tell people what to do and I adore slapping people but I couldn't possibly do either of these things to a newbie

Gum, I didn't answer your last question: do I have any pregnancy symptoms? Erm..no, because I am a useless, barren, desperate, childless, shrivelled-up and bitter hag who is destined to never have children and will be found dead, in very old age, being simultaneously pissed on and suckled by 17 cats in this godforsaken, spooky hovel I live in.

The sickness the other night was probably my turkey mince. I bought it off the 'oops!' aisle

[releases neck from Gum's iron-like stranglehold] Gum, it is 12.19am here and Little Ted, Maureen and me are on the sofa waiting for 'Taming Andrew' to begin on the True Movies channel. This is the synopsis: When her abducted son returns home after 5 years, a woman feels as if her prayers have been answered. But when she realises the trauma the boy has endured, she learns her nightmare is far from over'. Maureen is particularly excited as she has experienced an abduction trauma, too.

Thank you for being kind whilst I am feeling rubbish. At least one of us is hopeful about my chances this month. I don't necessarily feel I am being defeatist; behind me are seven months of well-timed sex, gallons of spunk, a pharmacy's-worth of Viagra and a bonfire of BFNs...

Gum, one more thing...you know how in Australia 'spunk' means 'courage & determination'? Well...it doesn't over here

Yes, I remember reading a book when I was about thirteen called,"The Girl with Spunk"...so glad I didn't know what it could mean.And, no, the book wasn't porn.

Over here we call it "spoof"...Amongst other things..

Now, you must stop talking to me, I have errands to do: packing,washing,sewing...

Enjoy your film.(Sounds a bit harrowing to me).

Morning all....welcome toWomble and Notso
Womble so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I guess hope can be pulled from the fact that you were able to get pregnant honey...big hugs.
Notso....hmmm you may well know by now if it was start of AF. We are impatient beings, especially when time is not on our side.
As for me, I'm now on cd29. CBFM gave up on me on cd24 after 10 days of high readings followed by a low. OPKS had the typical fade in and out pattern with strongest lines on around cd18ish but not positve lines. I now have definite ewcm (golden....I now know what you mean lol) and am considering buying some clearblue digital ov tests the ones with the smiley faces (anybody use these?) now that my monitor wont accept my pee sticks lol. Oh is supposed to be absteining from today...prior to 2nd SA test on Monday (pffft to that if any stick is positive hah). He is also off to take his oath on Monday morning...swearing allegiance to the Queen and all that. Hmmmmm. Just 3 weeks to go until he leaves. How lovely it would be to give him good news before he left.

Thanks for the welcome...
Yes I totally agree that patience is not on my side.
Thanks for not slapping me golden although I deserved it!

So my AF turned up and I need a glass of wine (I don't even drink) because I had hoped for a better outcome!!!!

Cuppa anyone???

Morning ladies. Feeling hormonal, teary & a bit overwhelmed today. DP been away a lot - business trips & long hours, and is buggering off to the rugby tonight - pah!

At least I have a few things to look forward to this weekend - a spa/shipping day with my mum & sisters & a joint 40th birthday for 2 old school friends. Have my lies worked out in advance to cover not drinking.

Good luck to those on the 2ww - especially Tina. I hope you're all managing to take your minds off it.

How was your temp this morning, golden?

Positve OPK and even bigger !!!!!!!

Embraces body and thanks it for still having a go.

Go CaliBee go!!! Get down'n'dirty with yer man!! Give him a send-off to remember!!!!!

Hello ladies. How exciting to get your LH surge Calibee! You go for it, love! All the luck in the world tonight x

Sorry about your period arriving, Notsoold

Cheese, great to hear from you, love. Sorry you feel tearful and stuff..it will pass, sweetie, I promise. When is your next scan? I must admit, I was reading your post really quickly (keep losing signal on this dick of a dongle) and read: "..things to look forward to this weekend..shopping with mum & sisters and a joint.."

Gum, did you get plenty of stuff done, love? (Do you know what? I'll really miss you when you go on your hols )

Hmm..my temperature this morning was 36.58° and yesterday it was 36.59° - the 11DPO downward trajectory has begun...

Yaay CalliBee ! Go for it and good luck!!

Not posted for a while so trying to catch up.

Tina, hope the 2ww isn't too stressful for you, will you have a blood or urine test next week? Hope it's a BFP (with twins!)

Italian, good to hear your adoption process is progressing. Will the training take long? Do you know how soon you might actually adopt?

Hopeful, glad you're enjoying the spring break and you have your holiday to look forward to. It seems bizarre to hear about hot days and trips to the beach when we're freezing here! Are your Yr 8s 12/13 yrs like here? If so, fair play to you, dealing with one at a time can be hard enough!

Miasmum hope you're not too uncomfortable, not long now till you're holding your little one in your arms. It must be a difficult time now leading up to Mia's inquest, thinking of you. xx

Womble we were in a similar position to you earlier this year with an unplanned pregnancy (I'm 44, we thought we were past it!). I sadly miscarried at 10/11weeks but we both wanted to try again, I just felt so empty. I then miscarried 6 weeks,then tried again and conceived immediately .Like you we had a good scan at 7 weeks and another at 8 weeks but heart stopped at 8w6d and I went on to miscarry naturally at 12 weeks last month. DH is now veering between wanting to try again and not wanting to risk the heartache of another loss. We have three dc, 19,13 and 8 and also don't want to put them through the trauma of miscarriage, though the younger two didn't know about the second two miscarriages.I still feel like I want to try again, it's been suggested I try taking aspirin. I feel the risk of repeated MC(which I know is 50:50) is outweighed by the regret I'll feel if we don't try. I do feel life will never be quite the same now anyway after my three losses.

notsoold and JB sorry AF turned up this week.

My AF arrived today with a vengeance so I've been feeling a bit rubbish. I was told at my last scan the MC wasn't quite complete but all should come away with my first AF so I think that may be why it's so heavy and painful. I suppose it's the emotional reminder that I'm not pregnant anymore too. I've been charting my temps and my ovulation day was 23, then temps very erratic and luteal phase of 12 days so MC has really messed up my cycle. This is only my second AF this year, I've been pregnant or miscarrying the rest of the time so I think my body(and mind!) are a bit screwed up. However I did have a nice glass of wine with dinner and have just finished a bag of minstrels, it's therapy!

goldengirl your cats are gorgeous! We'd love to have a cat but we've got two geriatric chocolate labs already and DD2's asthma always seems worse when she's been around cats or small furries.
Don't feel defeated, I'm sure you're surrounded by people who you love and who love you, your time will come to be a mum and when it does you'll be a fantastic mum!
You're only 41, a mere child compared to some of us oldies on here!
Good luck with your appointment next week.(But who knows you may be pregnant already!)

Hope everone else is ok

goldengirl posts crossed, but I don't think a temp drop of 0.01 is enough to make you think it's all over just yet!

forgot to say lotsofcheese, have a good weekend, a relaxing spa treatment and time with family/friends is probably just what you need, enjoy it!

Irishmammy is right, Golden, it's such a tiny drop in temperature. Hang in there.

Irishmammy, it took ages for my AF and cycle to normalize after my second miscarriage.It's so difficult waiting for it to go back to normal. I know what you mean about never being the same again after the losses. I am sure things9in your body) will level out, it will just take time. And you will probably get pregnant again. I know that it is hard to wait,and then the early weeks are so difficult. I wish I could wake up one morning and find myself about 13 weeks pregnant.

Now that my cycle has kind of sorted itself out, I am having peri-menopausal symptoms - not hot flushes or anything like that, but my cycle is long,short,normal length and who knows what this time. However I am lucky enough to have ovulation pain, so as long as we are having regular sex and especially when I feel the O happening, we'll have a chance.

Older women CAN and DO have babies. We have just as much chance of doing so.

I was taking aspirin for a while, but I stopped, I can't remember why I stopped. I think it was because the blood tests showed that if anything my blood was too thin,so aspirin was probably not a good idea. And did I also read it can interfere with implantation? I can't remember if that is the case or not.

I am taking Vitex again along with some other vitamins. I had stopped taking everything for a while, but I thought, I may as well take the vitex until it is finished. I read that it is like "nature's clomid", so perhaps it will help things. I also have DHEA sitting in the medicine cabinet, and thinking about maybe taking that, starting after this cycle, until January, to see if it helps.

I am now wearing my new glasses - multi-focals (I am officially old)- and I am really struggling with them. I haven't worn multi or bi-focals before, it feels very weird. Gosh, I hope they feel better soon, don't want to feel unbalanced and dizzy on holiday.

Only one more sleep,and we are suitably excited. Our children just love the island, it is a safe environment giving them so much freedom. There are no cars on the island, so the kids are pretty-well free to roam. Just some last minute packing and shopping to do

Calibee, I hope it was a night to remember, and I have everything crossed that you'll have a BFP to show him before he leaves. How long will he go for? It must be so hard to have a partner in the services.

Lotsofcheese, I hope you are feeling relaxed after your lovely weekend.

Golden - sorry, I don't think I'll have access to mumsnet while I am away, though I might be able to have a quick look on DH's phone (I still have an ancient thing without internet). I have everything crossed that your temp goes up tomorrow.

Deige, am I too late for the bistro?I forgot to put my order in....If you can manage it, I'll have three cheese gnocchi, french bread and cultured butter,and apple sponge with custard(all heavy carb foods that I no longer have).Yum,Yum!

hopeful, I've read and heard conflicting things about taking aspirin ,some experts only recommend taking it if a clotting disorder has been diagnosed with blood tests, others seem to think it may help anyway.Some people say it should only be taken once you have a BFP, others take it all the time.
When my GP spoke to the consultant the advice that was relayed back to me was to take it daily from the start of my AF.
I'm still considering going private for an appointment, I would like the chance to discuss things in greater depth with an expert, even if the conclusion was still that it wasn't worth doing any tests. The NHS seems very ageist!
Hope you have a great holiday, the island sounds lovely.

golden I found taking my temp at exactly the same time everyday, and taking it three times in a row, gave me a better more reliable average result... that 0.01 difference is easily attributable to statistical error!!

hello irish and everyone else. I am now 7 days post transfer. Its been very tough emotionally and I still have one week to go before testing. I have had no symptoms at all which has worried me the most but I spoke to one of the nurses at care who told me not to worry and that it was too early and lots of women dont have any. some of the ladies on cares forum also said this so I guess its just a waiting game. Have had a lovely week off with dh and he's been looking after me and stopping me from doing too much. At home working next week