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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Any older mums ttc (late 30s)?

359 replies

sideways · 27/02/2006 15:57

I was just wondering how many of the ttc people were in their late 30s or 40s.

I am 38 and started ttc this year. It would be nice if we could support each other.

OP posts:
lemonstartree · 06/11/2006 13:16

Hi Mumfun

I am 41 too and TTC dc 4. I ahve had 2 mc in the last 9 months - so getting pregnant is not the problem, but staying pregnant is!

Just feel I should keep trying a bit longer!!

good luck

speedymama · 06/11/2006 13:23

Just found out that one of my friends is pregnant with her first. She is 38yo, has been trying since August and is about 8 weeks pregnant. She thought she would have trouble falling pregnant because her periods are erratic.

oinker · 06/11/2006 13:26

I am 38 and have been trying since 2004. I have had six m/c's including twins. I am under investigation for treatment. I have hospital appointment in the morning and am dreading it. I already know that they are planning an op. Prof wanted me to loose a bit of weight which I have done. I suppose I will get a date for op. I have a septate uterus, fibroids and scar tisseu all of this needs fixing. They are planning an operative hysteroscopy.

I beleive I am an exceptionall case. i have tried starting threads etc about various parts of the proceures I have been thru but not many responses.

I never new anything about these problems until I tried conceiving. I had no indication of anything being wrong. Fortunately my eggs are very fresh, so my biological clock isn't ticking too fast.

I am not giving up until I am told to by the Professionals. And that's only if they say there is no hope....

Juicylucythe2nd · 06/11/2006 13:54

Oinker - good luck for your appt tomorrow. Will be thinking of you. Hope you don't have to wait too long for your op.xx

oinker · 06/11/2006 14:13

Thanks........

I had it all planned out. My original appointment was the 16/10 but there was a gas leak outside the hospital so appointment cancelled.
I was hoping to have my op back then.
We have booked to go off to Mauritius for xmas and new year. I really wanted it done to recouperate and perhaps try to conceive out there. It doesn't look as though that's going to happen now.

Juicylucythe2nd · 06/11/2006 15:18

Be as pushy as you can be to get in for an op before xmas. Explain you've been waiting and feel like you should be prioritised due to last cancellation and that you will reco-operate better in Mauritius (how lovely btw) - maybe they can get you in for a cancellation.

In other words - Lay it on thick and don't hold back the tears - it's amazing what results they get

duchesse · 07/11/2006 14:27

Hi all, I'm dipping a careful toe into this ttc thread, having spent three years trying to beget little Vlad, who miscarried at 12 weeks, nearly three weeks ago, possibly due to a neural tube defect (lot of fluid around neck)

I spent my first year obsessively charting temperatures, second in a depression and third tried as much as possible to forget about it all.

I am 38, and have three older children: a boy of 13, and two girls of 11 and 9. This one, if it ever comes, is supposed to be my last. My husband is also 38 (one day older than me in fact). We would have been 39 by the time Vlad had been born; who knows how old we will be when/ if we have another one?

duchesse · 07/11/2006 14:29

Also, can I just mention that three babies have been born to friends and relations in the last four weeks. Is it just me, or does everyone seem to be pregnant at the moment?

Ettenna · 07/11/2006 16:29

Hello ladies, just wanted to say that my cousin (43) just had a beautiful girl, my colleague (42) ditto and my mum's neighbour's daughter (44) ditto! My sister in law (37) is about 8 weeks pregnant too - so don't give up hope anybody!

oinker · 07/11/2006 17:20

duchese, you are determined so you will get there. I understand what you are saying when you say everyone around you is having babies. it is just made doubley hard because of what you have been thru.
Do you have any idea what if anything is causing the delay in getting pg? Have any investigations been done since the sad loss of Vlad?

I have had a shitty morning of it in hospital regarding me geting sorted out for operative hysteroscopy. There just seems to be one hurdle after another.

duchesse · 07/11/2006 19:14

Oinker, I have been completely burying my head in the sand about these probably fertility problems. The closest I got to dealing with them was when I mentioned them to my GP last year. He was as high-handed as I'd expected him to be, and told to come back "when I'd decided what I was going to do". Hello? I was there, wasnt I?
Given that it had just taken me two years (and obviously I told him we'd been trying for two years) to pluck up the courage to even approach the medical profession, I feel that his reaction lacked a certain sensitivity.
No idea what did for Vlad (so called because I'd had several bleeds along the way). The ultrasonographer said there was quite a lot of fluid around the back of the neck, so possibly a neural tube defect. Dr Google suggests that it might equally have been a chromosomal abnormality.
So onward, ever onward, I suppose. I'm feeling a little more positive this week, and hoping for a post-miscarriage surge in fertility.

duchesse · 07/11/2006 19:22

And I am sorry to hear that you are having trouble acessing investigations. I am too chicken to go there, but I would have thoguht that a medical problem like this woud be treated the same way as any other illness. After all, fertility is affected by a large number of conditions, some of them potentially hazardous for the person concerned. The least they can do is work out why conceiving is being problematic.

I guess that's why I was so pissed off with that GP last year- he ran a thryoid level test and a progesterone level test (both fine) and decided that there was nothing wrong with me. Period. (haha)

The senior partner in the practice has said that he will order a full blood screen on me, but only because my hair is also falling out now. (I have lost half of it in the last two years) That will happen in a few weeks' time, when my iron levels post-miscarriage have returned to normal.

Good luck with your medical battles. I thought they were supposed to speed up the process for us more mature ladies?

Juicylucythe2nd · 09/11/2006 12:56

Oinker - what did the hospital say?

coggy · 09/11/2006 16:51

(Qucik hijack......)
Juicy......how are you doing?
Haven't heard from you for AGES!!!!!

wishing1 · 11/11/2006 23:14

duchesse:
It seems everyone "is" pregnant around me as well, two of my neighbors are preg, 2 of my dh colleages at work are preg, my 39 year old friend from highschool is preg (I'm 38, just turned at ttc for 5 months another friend had invitro and is 20 weeks preg with triplets! So...I am sick of going to 'other' peoples baby showers and getting baby pics in the mail and email and hearing it all around me and it's not me, it's so painful and I even dream of seeing those 2 lines on that stupid stick!! I have had all necessary bloodwork and exams, I have a 17 year old and 13 year old and on second dh who has none and wants one and so do I of course. Sometimes you think you will never see that bfp, I think I would scream until I lost my voice if I got one. I would cherish every day of being pregnant even the bad ones Good luck to you as well.

duchesse · 14/11/2006 22:49

Hi wishing1- I think we may have a fair few details in common- as I've roamed around the ttc boards, I've worked out that you have three children (snap), are ttc a fourth (snap) and are 38 (?) (snap if so). My children are 13, 11 and 9, all born in our twenties. We are hoping for another, but have been trying for 3 and a half years.

wishing1 · 15/11/2006 03:26

duchesse:

WOW, that's great we have so much in common, I am 38, ttc #4, my children are 20, 16, 13! I started very young, on DH #2 and he has NONE and he has never been married before me. Have you had the bloodwork and all that. I did and everything came back fine but still no baby I just started a new job and guess what...yep...I'm in there with 2 pregnant women I envy them so much and they are young It's scarey when you have a hard time conceiving when your older because that's all I think about it how many times will I ovulate before I turn 40? How sick is that but it's true. Good luck, we are trying preseed this month, hope it works. Hope "something" works

duchesse · 15/11/2006 07:44

Just a thought, wishing1- have you had husbandio checked out?

I started off full of optimism that I would get pregnant as quickly as I did with the first three (ie- without trying), but it has now been 3.5 years. I wouldn't recommend waiting that long to seek help if that's the route you're going to take. In fact if you're over 35, they say get help after 6 months, I think.

wishing1 · 15/11/2006 08:13

duchesse:
He has not been checked and will get checked next month if I'm not preggo. My first hubby had a low sperm count but I got prego 3 x's the last one took 7 months, let's just hope it's not that but since my doc told me that I have the egg supply of a 20 year old it scares me that its him! My periods are regular, I ovulate on day 11 I have never even had a cyst or anything so he said if not by 6 months then it's his turn so that will be next month

maisiemog · 19/11/2006 23:39

Hi all,
I haven't posted on here in ages, but DP and I have decided we are going to TTC so I've been lecturing him on boxer shorts and zinc.
I've got grapefruit juice, Evening primrose, vitamin B group, fish oil and I'm reluctantly going to cut down my coffee consuption to one little morning cup.
It's all quite complicated.
When we got pregnant last time, it was unplanned, but I was taking agnus castus for a large fibroid (now gone), so I am wondering about that as well??
Has anyone got any good advice for me?

fizzbuzz · 20/11/2006 11:55

Don't know if this is any help....had miscarriage 2 years ago. TTC after this and nothing happened.
Went to GP who said it's your age, etc etc.
Went back and demanded referral.
Saw expert and found out I wasn't ovulating, but was still having AF. Said a traumatic m/c could send hormones out of kilter. Put me on Clomid (horrible horrible drug). Conceived straight away, now have dd age 4 months.
If you have had m/c do make sure it has not screwed up hormones which is what happened to me. Nothing to do with age, but with m/c sending hormones haywire.

duchesse · 07/12/2006 14:21

Am getting really neurotic hearing on the radio about how much fertility decreases in our thirties. I am nearly 39, and am beginning to feel that it's all over for me.

I am just so glad to have some children already I cannot imagine what this is like for women trying for their first in their late thirties.

I am trying to be glad for my blessings most of the time, and to stop fixating on this last child, but it is still occupying a lot of my time and mental energy, and has done for over three years.

I'm just not ready to be sure that there won't ever be another baby.

YuleTideways · 07/12/2006 14:27

Know what you mean duchesse. I am nearly 40 and ttc. I already have one, conceived almost immediately, but struggling now. Refuse to believe it is because of my age

sleepysooz · 07/12/2006 15:09

I am 45 DH 53 and we have 10yo DS and 3yo twins!!! we are 'KNACKERED' but happy!

wishing1 · 08/12/2006 01:44

duchesse and yuletideways!

I am 38 and 6 months now have been trying. It occupies my mental thoughts everyday and I even dream I have a bfp and then wake up nearly crying. I am going this weekend to yet another baby shower and she is having triplets!!! I'm so envious! I work with a lady who unexpectedly got prego at 42 and she just got back from maternity leave so it gives me hope. My cousin was 43 when she had her last so it can happen. I have other children too and am extremely thankful for them but it doesn't take away the emptiness and longing to have another baby. Every time I see a baby at the mall or at work my eyes fill with tears, I am on second dh and he has never had any, he would be wonderful and I so bad want a baby with him. I have had some in between spotting the past two months and a bad case of tonsillitis, doctor put me on antibiotics last week and last time when I was ttc for 6 months I got prego the month after I took antibiotics! I'm hoping in some way that this will happen again. Are you going to do IVF? We will eventually but he just changed jobs so we need to make sure it is secure there before we shell out the money, plus we wanted to give it at least one year of ttc.