The BESH Fillies Are Under Starters Orders

[CaveMum]

Welcome to the 2.30 from Mumsnet Towers. The fillies have been groomed to within an inch of their lives and are raring to go.

Late entries for the race are required to locate and fill in the BESHtionnaire so that their form can be assessed.

Bring on the stallions!

Ooh new Fred!

Ok. Am here!

I like it.

Dress code?

Currently reading latest Jilly Cooper 'Jump'. (Yes I am a reader of trash). Shameful admission but am enjoying it lots! Anyway feel very horsey as a result. Therefore going to adorn full jockey's silks for my entire stay. Yellow with purple stars, with a matching hat. And a whip.

Hello BESH. Just marking my place (while snorting and tossing my mane, obvs).

I have sadly taken off my hat of office but cunningly converted it in to jockeys silks of purple and lime green accessorised with the peacock feathers and badger fur. Apollo has made a come back, and despite a freds worth of munching apples in retirement, is rairing to go....

I also have a whippet in case a dog race is in the offing.

Hmmm now need a horse.

Hang on....

..... Ok I've just been over to the Barbie race next door. Punched a particularly sparkly baby-duster in the neck and stolen her horse. It was called twinkle but I think it's got potential.

I hereby rename this horse Ovaries of Fury.

May she run like wind and outpace the droid for all who race on her. Amen.

Evening all. If the dress code included trackie bottoms and a skanky t-shirt then I am ready to go.

Evenin' laydees.

Being a born and bred proper southern girl, I will proudly admit that I only ride Western. Let me introduce you to my beautiful wild hoss, Lonestar.

Evening jockeys! Let me re introduce my horse with an addition, MidnightStrider

Hey, I just managed an almost run! 2.5 k. Veeeeerrry slow. But exercise! I'm so chuffed! that's my first effort since I went into hospital in March.

Unfortunately, I didn't get given any pictures to keep so I can't stick them on facebook, but I did notice that a cervix looks an awful lot like the end of a penis (there are images on google for anyone with a strong stomach). Who knew? The gynae described the thing they take the smear with as looking like a fighter jet. I was listening carefully and ready to bolt out of the chair if he started singing the Top Gun theme while he was up there with it....

Anyway, he did a colposcopy and couldn't see any lesions, but some crucial bits of my cervix weren't visible. Apparently the fertility drugs make your cervix shrivel up or something because they induce a temporary menopause. So he took another smear (with the fighter jet) and that will be tested for the two strains of HPV most likely to make any changes turn cancerous. So I have a nervous wait for those results, but he said nothing he saw today would lead him to recommend cancelling the IVF cycle. Which is good. Although I will be rather on edge until I get the test results in about 10 days.

Tis a nice frock, Faith. V summery. Presumably you have some wellies to go with it to suit our summer? Nice work on the exercise!

I shall give some thought to the name of my filly. I am currently lacking inspiration after a somewhat emotionally exhausting day!

My trusty steed can carry no other name than Frankel

[disappears over the horizon on her super-horse]

Euro, glad the gynae was supportive, and sounds like he did his best to reassure you. Stupid thing to say I know, but try not to worry while you wait for the results. We always manage to imagine the worst possible scenario, but things are very very rarely that bad.

euro glad he didn't see anything to cause immediate concern. Fingers crossed results will be good. You sound like need a vat-full of gin after today.

A fighter jet up your fanjo? That must have been a heck of a speculum. Brilliant news that there was nothing immediately visible, and fingers crossed that the new smear result is equally good.

Good exercising, faith. I must get back in that particular saddle.

I can't remember my horse's name. I think she might have been called Buttercup. That is her stable name. She also has a race name (see how up with the horsey world I am?), which is Hoof-Hearted. Because I am easily amused by childish humour.

Anyway, she is sitting patiently while I practise my Dettori-style flying dismounts.

Fighterjet Fanjo would be a good name for a horse you know...

V good news euro that there was nothing to see. Fingers etc crossed for the next 10 days.

Am sat up waiting to pick up ghj from a BBQ. For some reason, I found myself a convincing excuse not to go. I suspect it was a little windy and wet.

fighterjetfanjo eh? Glad it didn't look nasty euro. Hoping and praying it's all ok. Time to go back to sticking your fingers in your ears and lala-ing then?

I am feeling post-running-y. Somewhere between sore and pleased. Had a nice long soak in the tub and read my book.

sinky fair play to you! You'd have been chilled to the bone!

Good morning everyone.

cavey, what's the proper name for a horse's breasts? I am (I think) 7dpo, and have slightly tender ones. Udders?

Yup, would be udder (singular). Have milked a mare in the past - very odd experience!

Disclaimer - she had a sick foal who couldn't stand to feed so we had to milk her to relieve pressure in the udder.

Giddy up, giddy up! I like the new fred! I shall be riding the magnificent Unituber to victory, with my trusty polecat ferret running alongside.

CD 16 here - think I ovd yesterday or day before, which is early - and we had a sechs fail last night. Sigh. Its really hard saying "don't worry, it's fine" when inside you're just going grrrrrr! All better this morning though after a luffly long sleep.

This reminds me of the cringe-worthy "you can milk anything with nipples" scene in a film. Meet The Parents, I think.

I have mega sore boobs. I can't stand a bra on them and without a bra any sudden movements make me wince. But don't get excited. It seems to be a common side effect of the downregging drugs. Along with a late period. Helpful how the downregging side effects are also pregnancy symptoms, isn't it? I am considering going for a run but I think it will bloody hurt. I might try two sports bras and see if that does the trick.

I love the thread title. Not sure the ESH are young and sprightly flat racers though - knackered old steeplechasers more like. ;)

Here's to many wins this month with few hurdles.

I've started spotting. I think the end is nigh or should that be neigh? for this cycle :(

pone. poneyponeypone! How the divil are you? How'd your snuffly baybee?

He's getting better, following a hospital appointment last week diagnosing reflux he seems to be on the mend and after 18 weeks he's now a happy little boy.

My nag has arthritis though and this is difficult. Always someone sick eh!?