The BESH Republic Of Rulvakia

[queenrollo]

Welcome to The BESH Republic Of Rulvakia. The national drink is of course gin, state funded to get you into a state. We have many traditions and customs, such as sechsing, swearing for the fun of it (optional) and urinating on little white sticks.
Enemy of the state is Droid, who must be heckled heartily should it put in an appearance. There is an ongoing lottery to win a baybee, being granted citizenship of The Republic is your ticket to the lottery.

As a democracy all members are entitled to put forward any customs or rules they would like and we can all adopt important but silly titles if we like. See the George Carlin sketch about hats and religion and make your own mind up about whether you would like a ceremonial hat to accompany whichever title/role you bestow upon yourself.

Newcomers should find and complete the BESHtionnaire so we can make sure you are cynical and non-fluffy enough to be granted Citizenship.

How exciting - a friend has just emailed me to say she is pregnant on her first IVF attempt. I am delighted for her!

What lovely news Dor

In more good news, I backed the winner of the Epsom Oaks at 33/1 this afternoon

Drinks are on Cavey and all round

Very regal of you cave. In that case, I'll have a double.

I don't know who else to tell...
I got a BFP today. 4 of them. On three different brands of tests.

And I'm not ready to tell TOM. Things are going incredibly well between us but I'm afraid that part of it is because we're finally beginning to heal from our July and November miscarriages. This is the EXACT same month we fell pregnant last year.

I'm in shock.

I know I should be very happy - and I am - but I don't feel like I can give into the happiness, yet. I'm just nervous.

What should I do?

You should sit TOM down and tell him, is he with you/around? You should go to your doctors on Tuesday to discuss how they will monitor you. I shall remove my top, pop my nipple tassels on and dance around whilst drinking some of Cavey's offerings

Thank you for your sage advice, Faithy. He's not with me tonight as I've been at the theatre all day, opening a new show. Will see him tomorrow though. But part of my wants to wait to tell him for some reason. I'm scared.

Regarding the GP, I think everything is closed Tues for the Queen's fete?

Oooooo wooooooow.... ... congrats Laura ;)

I meant Wednesday I am very confused having had today off, I've thought it was Saturday!
Yes, you can sleep on it tonight lors. Maybe telling him is scary because then it will seem more real? Without him knowing, you can sort of pretend it's not happening?

I think you're spot on, Faife. It's kind of like if it's a secret then nothing can go wrong - with the pregnancy or the relationship.

Do you think it's bad form if I decided to wait a few days to tell him?

How do you think he will feel if you wait? Would he ask when you found out? I know MSB would want me to tell me immediately different circumstances I know and really prefers I test when he's around although not in the room! If he would be ok with you not telling him, maybe wait. But is it one of those things that might get harder the longer you leave it?! You'd need to set a date to tell him if you chose to wait a bit.

I think I'm scared that he'll be unhappy since we weren't actively trying (although we also weren't actively using proper protection either). For some reason I feel really guilty - last week we just had a brief talk about when to TTC again and I was obviously more ready than he was. Of course I didn't know I was already pg at the time. What we decided in our talk is that we'd consider trying again in August. I think he's quite tentative to get pregnant again because of the fear we'd loose another baby. And that all of our previous unhappiness miscarriage tension and anger would flare up again and destroy all that we've spent the past 6 months rebuilding.

I hate that I feel guilty and scared.

Sorry for my lack of paragraphs and proper punctuation. I'm all over the place in that last post.

Although he'll be scared I'm sure, don't you think he'll be happy you're diffed? You getting pregnant is quite different from ttc - in that he was probably worried about the whole trying/not being successful/being gutted each time the droid returns and the stress that brings and would put on your delicate relationship as well as dealing with the reality of you being diffed and the fear of the pregnancy progression...do I make sense? If he really didn't want you to 'accidently' get diffed he would have been meticulous about contraception, yes?

I disappear for 5 minutes and we have news!

Tentative congrats LP, your feelings are totally understandable. I'm going to put my sensible, non-emotional, hat on and say I think you should tell TOM the next time you see him. He'd want to know I'm sure of it. I asked HWHNN for his opinion and he said he'd want to know right away if it were him.
It kind of harks back to what we were saying earlier about always assuming the worst, it's hard not to I know, but you need to look at the glass as half full not half empty.

Oh wow, Laura. I don't think I could delay telling KFZK, but then we haven't been through what you have. But the scary side of this is not something you should go through alone. We are here to hold your hand until you are ready to tell him.

Thank you for your extraESH support - Faify Euro Cavelina...I hate how our ttc past has ruined me in so many ways. The fact that I'm feeling so low and disturbingly calm and too scared to feel happy is wrong. Just plain wrong. Miscarriages really suck the joy out of everything surrounding early diffedness.

So I just talked to TOM and he's coming to meet me at the theatre tomorrow late afternoon. We'll have an early dinner - 6.30ish. If (and that's a big if) I gathered up courage and decided to tell him right away, what do you think I should do/say?

I don't even know how to bring it up. Especially after our conversation last week when we decided that we were going to wait a few months to continue fortifying our relationship before resuming ttc.

I honestly don't know what his reaction will be - and I think the next few months are going to be really scary, on tenterhooks the whole time.

How about Er, there's no easy way to say this. You know we said we'd ttc again in the summer? Well, my period was late/I just thought I would delete as appropriate so I poas and it turns out I'm pregant. Just wait for a lull in conversation?

On a mememe note, I'm on my own while MSB is at this stag do. I'm bloody terrified. It's my first night alone since the fire :( I'm still freaked out about the smoke detectors going off the other week. Everything downstairs is unplugged and I've checked the cupboards to m,e sure no-one is hiding anywhere! Just staying up til I am too exhausted not to sleep...

Oh, Faife, it makes sense that you're worried - I can't imagine how scary the fire was!

Double check everything just to put your mind at ease, then put on a funny/cheesy/favourite film and trust that you're safe.

faify, how did you sleep? Obviously you've survived the night, so I won't bother reassuring you it will be ok, as of course you know that now. You've been so amazingly brave and strong and practical through all the fire stuff, let alone all the other shit you've had to deal with that it's not at all surprising you're having a massive wobble now it's all coming to an end and you're pretty much healed and home. Is MSB back tonight or will you be doing another night alone?

Laura, I'm so pleased for you and completely understand how you feel I think fee's suggestion is good. Or you could try "Darling, our bodies were a bit ahead of us on the ttc late summer thing," which makes it more of a "we" thing rather than an "I" thing, if you see what I mean.

Yes I survived! Tossed and turned til 2am then told myself I was being ridiculous and conked out! MSB is away til Monday but I think the first night was always going to be the hardest.

How are you feeling this morning LP?

I missed LOADS, again!! Tentative congrats laura and massive good luck with telling TOM, agree with the others that I would want to know. And like the cave suggestion of making it a we-thing.

Well done on surviving the night faif and alone all weekend that would be hard in your circumstances.

I got offered the job yesterday so went out celebrating (hence the missing stuff). Big waves and tentative nipples at all of you thegeneral in particular!

Hooray! Well done on the new job lemons ! When do you start?

Wow, Bugs. Wow, LP.

Amazing news (even though understandably complicated LP). I am overawed.

Keeping fingers toes tassels & all else crossed for sticky BFPs and very happy outcomes.