TTC 10 plus months, Part 7

[lisacn]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Hahaha at the Alex James stories! I like him much better now he lives on a farm and makes cheese .

And princess looking H.O.T. is the way forward. Says the girl (at my age, I suspect that's not the right term, but can't think of myself any other way) who hasn't showered yet as the thermostat on the heating is playing up and wants to maintain our house at a balmy 27degrees, so I've had to turn the boiler off to stop it burning through all our gas. Never ever buy an old house. Even when you put in something shiny and new, like our boiler which is 6 months old, it still finds a way to be broken.

nelly I am glad that there is a thaw in the Nelly household! I think sometimes you need a good row to clear the air and tackle the issues.
Yep, on top on my alcoholic mother's carry on (who after I straightened her actually behaved herself perfectly on the day!) it was my MIL who decided that me marrying her son was obviously the most heinous thing ever

princess If I was famous and you came up to me and said all those things I would think that you were fabulous! They must get so bored with the usual brand of simpering fans. I have another Blur story that I hope won't out myself by sharing. I briefly had a thing with a guy who promoted some of the big Indie bands of the day. There was an aftershow party at a nightclub after a Blur concert and for some crazy reason (looking back I really don't know why 'cos it was weird) he put me in the little booth at the entrance to the club and I took the tickets for a bit. It had a little turnstile thing that you operated from the booth. Well the band turned up and I managed to nearly kneecap them with the turnstile. They were not impressed
On another occasion I also managed to insult the band Collapsed Lung quite spectacularly. They had a gig at the student union, I watched the first 5 minutes decided they were crap and spent the rest of the set at the bar. Afterwards I went up to chat to my BF's boyfriend who was stood with some people I didn't know. Said people asked what I thought of the band so I told them in great detail what utter shit I thought the gig was. I was later informed by the irate boyfriend that they were the band. Ooops.

Morning ladies. I'm loving the childfree lists. I'll add:

-ability to go on holiday to places that are inaccessible by pushchair and have no kids club to scramble over ruins and see wildlife uninterrupted by shouts of "MONKEY!" thereby scaring off every mammel and bird in a 2 mile radius
-ability to go for a drink after work with no preplanning and no need to get back for the nursery/bathtime

Oh nelly that's rubbish. As others have said, you are going through a lot of stressful things at the moment, so some relationship tension is inevitable. I'm glad there has been a bit of a thaw. Be kind to yourselves.

carrie it must feel great to go and so something purely for yourself - and wholly non-ttc related!

frannie I am glad the useless twunt of a dr at least gave you some met. Over on Verity quite a few women seem to have had success with that. I have heard about the stomach upsets on it that pout mentions though. Apparently there is a slow release version available if they are too bad (it is more expensive and so of course not prescribed at first on the NHS).

princess I am glad the blood test timing looks like it will work out right, despite your consultant's best efforts!

pout I can't believe you had both M and MIL stress at your wedding. Reading MN, particularly all the tales of awful MILs, makes me realise how lucky I am to have one who mostly does as she is told!

Your Collapsed Lung story is brilliant! That certainly makes a change from the usual simpering fans famous people encounter!

I'm loving the Blur stories. I am a huge fan too. I saw them at Reading in 97/98 (gah, so long ago!) and their comeback gig in Hyde Park a couple of years ago. I'm also going to the August gig in Hyde Park princess. I can't wait.

Thanks for all of your thoughts. I feel slightly better today. I am not sure if that is because my body is getting used to the drugs or because Mr euro and I had a chat about everything last night and he did what I think I subconciously wanted - suggested stopping. I confessed to him what I wrote on the separate IVF thread I started yesterday - that I am actually hoping it won't work because I just don't want a baby this way. We were both completely turned off by the idea of IVF when the nurse explained to us what the drugs did and we wish we had listened to our instincts. Anyway, we have agreed that we will carry on with the injections for the next couple of days and have more of a chat at the weekend. I'm really torn. I am curious as to whether our sperm and eggs can get it together, etc but don't want a pregnancy out of it. It is all so confusing.

The odd thing is that I'm on day 5 of my bleed now and I am getting a few faint ov twinges (these usually start at about day 4ish of my cycle and I always thought they were my body gearing up to ov). I thought my ovaries were supposed to have been "switched off"? I guess I will find out on Monday at my scan whether or not that is the case.

Nelly I went to a festival on Alex's farm last year. I though that Blur was going to be the headline act on the Sat night as they kept it under wraps until the very last minute. I checked my emails and the website as much as I could and was pretty unbearable about the whole thing... especially when it turned out to be the Kooks . I hate the kooks and the arrogant twatty front man used to live upstairs from us (in one of the smaller flats I might add). Disappointed.com. I hope that Mr N's goodbye is a sign of a lovely reconciliation. Sorry that ERTD came especially as you had got your hopes up. I really hope you get to sort this out with him and 'fess up about how awful it's making you feel.

Pout Well done on telling the band they were crap. I like your kneecapping story too! Bands need to be treated like morons to keep them grounded. And they secretly love it. DH used to run a record label and management company (before deciding that earning pocket money wasn't really conducive to a happy 'adult' life) and I've met so many up-themselves bands / minor slebs. And don't even get me started on the kids in Hoxton. Anyway, one of the bands that he managed were playing a private gig.... I was very, very, very drunk on very, very, very cheap free wine and went loudly to the v. cool female bassist (still love her she's ace), "Oooh, look there's that fat one from T4" Said presenter (can't remember name, don't think she was on for very long) was about 5 ft away and clearly heard. DH dragged me off by the arm and told to pipe down. Ah those were the days - great parties, free AAA entry and cheap free booze

Euro Very exciting about August!! Maybe even see you in the mahooosive crowd! (I may be the drunk person clambering on the stage being evicted...) I'm glad that you had a heart-to-heart with Mr Euro. Ultimately you have to do what's right for you. We'll all be here to support you, no matter what you do and I'm sure Mr Euro will too.

Morning all. To the child-free list I'd like to add:
-not having to stand in the cold on the touch line and watch rugby/netball or heaven forbid, football. None of which I understand.
-not having to do the 5am training run if they took to rowing.

at the Nan and champers story. Sounds like something I'd come out with when in self-destruct mode and don't need booze for that.
I've read everything honest. Incapable of recalling specifics though. Hang in there Euro.

AF was late. The surge of hope, even when you know there isn't any was quite cruel. Now thinking about sending MrTeu an Outlook appointment for CD10 . Had a good winge to my best friend about the whole thing. Horribly hard this month to be around diffeds and babies. Anyway, onwards.

Waves to you all.

Teu sorry that ERTD has turned up for you too. Cuppa, biccies and hugs. It's a cruel game. Hope that your chat with your friend was cathartic, my email confessions and her reassurance have cheered me up no end. Hope you have a lovely weekend x

princess I will keep an eye out for you! I'll be the person trying to lick Damo...

Teu I'm loving the idea of the outlook appointment. It's a new use for the "scheduling" option!

Loving the gig/band/minor sleb confessions ladies My OH has been in bands with used-to-be-famous types and IMHO they are mostly dicks. I saw Blur at Glastonbury back in 1994 and I was not a child, jesus christ I actually am that old. Though i have heard that Alex James makes crap cheese

Also loving the kid-free lists especially the ones that involve 'special cuddles' . Thanks to Gin I was able to wake up this morning and cheer myself up with the fact that I'm not the mother of an axe murderer. I can also add: spending as much time as you want doing hair, make-up and otherwise being vain; buying clothes without worrying about whether they are stain-resistant or have to be dry-cleaned; actually having interests and hobbies that do not revolve around kids. I know life doesn't have to revolve around children when you have them but I also know so many people whose lives do and they are REALLY boring .

Sorry so many 10+ers are having a crap time. Brickbats to the ERTDs (though that's a really, really yucky image). Hugs to Euro it sounds like the drugs and the whole situation are really messing with your head. I've been really interested in your other thread about IVF choices and have also found it reassuring that there are people out there who are not gung-ho. I hope you and Mr E find your way to a decision that feels right for you.

Nelly so sorry you and Mr N have argued. I've reached that point with Mr A a number of times since ttc when we've had an almighty row and I've thought 'that's it, we're splitting up, and there goes my chance of ever having a baby' (you appear to be my celestial twin so it's not surprising this is the case ) It is a monumentally stressful situation and when you add wedding/honeymoon planning into the mix it is hardly surprising you're feeling the strain. Hope you get some time over the weekend to sort it out - and Frannie's right, at least it's not coincided with ov time so you're not forced to shag him while secretly wishing he were dead .

Princess what a lovely response from your bestie. I'm relieved for you. She sounds like a gem

Frannie that consultant is arse! I'm sorry your bubble has been burst. It builds no confidence whatsoever when they are so dismissive and inconsistent. Surely medical professionals are supposed to be on your side .

Sarlat you know we will all be watching for news of the new woo with interest!

I'm getting over the arrival of ERTD at least, so the tail feathers are feeling a bit perkier. I started taking the 5th lot of clomid the other night and immediately regretted it. I don't think it's doing me any favours. I won't be taking the next lot. Maybe it'll be worth it if I ever do manage to have the hsg, but otherwise, it looks like the only decision left is whether or not to have IVF.

I had better be off and do some work. Waves to everyone, hope you all have a lovely weekend.

nelly - that?s good there is some glimmers of a truce. It does sound like you need a heart to heart about ivf and do discuss how you ?re really feeling. I am sorry you thought this was the month as well. I have had the odd month like that and when AF arrives it feels like a sledgehammer has ripped me up. Slightly overly dramatic but neverless it hurts more than the months where I have no doubt in my mind it will appear.

euro - i have just read with interest your separate ivf thread. There are some interesting perspectives on there. The drugs are obviously playing havoc with your mood and emotions. Having said that I do believe you have to be emotionally ready for ivf and i think because you are in the unexplained category, it makes the choice of going down the ivf route a bit harder just purely because you don?t have a reason as to what is going on.
I have to say that I haven?t rebooked my cancelled ivf appointment because I have got very jittery and i would prefer to try and exhaust all the possible reasons as to why this isn?t happening. I can?t see myself doing it this year unless I am told it is my only option.

I am sorry I can?t join in the conversation about Blur...sadly I don?t think I could even name a song they did!

Just to add to our list ? my colleague?s 13yr old daughter just told her to F? off over the phone. My colleague was shouting ? don?t speak to me like that?. I sympathised with colleague whilst really I was laughing inside [evil] ahhahaha

A story to give us hope - didn't Carla Bruni spend years trying to get pregnant and I thought she had refused to do ivf? Anyway it would seem she is pregnant again at 44 and she only gave birth about 9 months ago.

Carla is pregnant again? Wow. I thought she did have ivf for the last one, that's why there was all that speculation about her having twins.

I'm feeling a bit better today, I've managed to eat some solid food woo hoo!

Euro, do you think you might be thinking you don't want a pregnAncy out of this so as not to be disappointed if it doesn't work? Sort of like a self preservation thing? It sounds good that you've talked it over with mr euro and you are in agreement. At least with ivf you might get closer to some answers, eg can the eggs fertilise, how the sperm behave etc. didn't you say there were some questions over the sperm samples in terms of volume? I've been reading quite a lot of stuff on sperm and it seems that male factor problems can often not be diagnosed with the usual tests, so things can look fine on paper.

Nelly, I really feel for you. Weddings are a stressful time anyway and then this crAp on top. I sometimes feel rage towards dh when he doesn't seem as bothered about it all as me. I really don't think he does care As much. He would probably be fine with being childless, but then he has a great career that he can focus on. Also, men don't have the clock do they, so there isn't the same sense of urgency.

Pout, I can't believe your nasty mil. I hope your dh told her where to go.

This tonsillitis has really knocked me. I've got no energy a d all I want o do is crawl back to bed. Waves to everyone I've missed.

hi ladies - i joined in the (uggh) posting my menstrual blood to athens craze this month, and just got the results back as positive for 3 different bacterial infections. I know some doctors think these tests are unreliable so i've not got total confidence in this but willing to give whatever treatment they recommend a go. its so funny how times change - 4 years ago relatively near the start of ttc the thought of something possibly stemming from an STI filled me with and . Today the thought of a possible (treatable) STI and I'm and . Maybe it was that Alex James!! ha ha

seperately big hug to everyone who's been feeling 'meh'. x

sorry - totally missed the point of that post which was to say it was really easy to do and potentially worth getting tested. I got a small plastic sample pot from a chemist for 80p, and just stuck it in the normal post which was £1.90. Didn't bother adding the saline. And it cost about £200. they were really quick to respond to questions via email and from posting the sample to getting the results took 10 days. www.serum-ivf.com/

Ooh CareBear well done on sending your period to Athens.

My OH has to say this about STIs (he had a long term ex who had chlamydia from her ex who was the first bod she slept with and had been cheating on her with all and sundry. I have a sort of poor thing so unfair / ha ha ha dirty slag cos you slept with my OH and I really wish you hadn't mentality. Mostly poor cow.) Anyway, he would say, "are you embarrassed by having a cold because someone sneezed on you? I didn't think so either." So I wouldn't worry if they are sexy colds that you have tucked up there. They could be from your OH and completely non sexy in origin. As you say it's something to run with rather than having the unexplained badge pinned to you. After my 6 months of TTC like fury post brown diet (you may or may not be familiar with the brown diet) I may be inclined to do this too. What do you do now you have the results? Can you get antibiotics over here? Do you have to do this privately? Are you going to tell your consultant (NHS / private?) Do tell, so interested in this line of inquiry. And that Alex does get around. Bad, bad boy

Oh perhaps she did have ivf then Mrsd. Afterall a lot of people probably don't admit it.
I forgot to say euro - perhaps after this should try mild or natural ivf. Chances are lower but you wil still find out whether mr and mrs euro fertilise.
carebear - my hero! Thank you for posting that. I bought my little pots from the chemist yesterday. Did you just add water? I wasn't going to bother with the saline either. I'm going to keep a close eye on what happens for you next. Have they given you a prescription?

Virgins can have chlamydia - they have found out that it can be passed on through the womb.
care - was one of them hiddenC?

That's interesting JoyceP. Sorry I wasn't casting aspersions on anyone. I only think the above because I have mega retrospective jealousy of the ex. Stupid brain hole. As I said I think STI are like sexy colds. Or well, just colds now if they can be passed on.

But the ex definitely had it from her slag of an ex. Not passed on to OH though as he was thoroughly tested. Twice. But I do now have concerns about the hidden chlamydia thang....despite having three all clear tests....

Carebear you have answered the question I asked on the SO thread on here and inspired me to email Serum.

princess I feel like that about the HPV testing I am having as a result of the dodgy smear. Apparently 80%+ of adults come into contact with one or other of the many forms of HPV at some point in their lives. It is only problematic if it is the genital wart one (eugh) or one of the few cancer-causing strains (which is what I am being tested for to assess whether the abnormal cells are likely to become problematic). It's not really any different to something like chickenpox that a similar amount of us will have had at some point.

joycep that is what we are wishing we had done. We both felt more comfortable with that. We've ended up here for really silly reasons. Back in March, the clinic called to arrange the drugs delivery when I was in court and couldn't deal with it so asked Mr euro to. He arranged the delivery for the next day because we were off on holiday after that and if I was going to start when the clinic wanted me to as soon as we came back, that was pretty much the only option. That night I freaked out a bit, we talked about it and decided to cancel the delivery. The drugs turned up while we were both still in bed the next day and Mr euro didn't turn them away. I was not happy. They've lurked in the fridge ever since and some of them expire in August. So because they were there, we have ended up doing the full IVF when neither of us wanted to. Which is bonkers really.

mrsd no, this isn't self-preservation. I just don't like IVF. This is a long-standing thing. When my friend had IVF 4 years ago, I said then that I would never do it. I am really not sure why I am. It isn't right for us.

joycep have you found us a drug supplier online yet :)

sarlat glad things went better this time with the new consultant

nelly glad things are thawing at your place, it is such a stressful business, we certainly didn't used to ague like this before, it makes sense to wait and see what happens with Mr B's next SA, we know in the past we can do it ourselves and if he still isn't 100% then i'm happy to leave it this month, it will only make matters worse if I force him to shag me this month especially as his sperm are being lazy feckers. He went to the GP's today and is having some blodd tests done, is eating better, the GP also didn't think his SA results were too bad . I think after next month we'll try iui

princess what a lovely email from your friend

euro i'm not sure whether it was gonal f or other contributing factor but it felt a bit like an out of body experience, I felt light headed and not really there, it didn't last long, I felt emotional the last 2 days but the pains haven't been bad so far, felt stronger on the Tamoxifen.

frannie sorry about the appointment, I have to say that I am treated better by Shehata privately than by his NHS colleagues although I don't agree with any of it, the NHS isn't free I've paid my NI so should be treated better

Well my last patient had her family around and her little great grand daughter came and gave me a hug and kiss goodbye

waves to everyone

sexy cold!! ha ha, i love that. i'm just waiting for the instructions on what to do next so i'll let you know. if they say to have a 2 month course of anti-b's then i think i'm going to do 2 months of the brown diet alongside it! I've told the athens clinic that i'm currently doing the super ovulation programme of letrozole and prednisolone and asked them to advise if they think i should stop that and do whatever treatment they advise first - which would make sense. No I don't think i'll bother telling the NHS - I'm due for IVF at different clinic from my last one, so i'm 'between consultants' so think i would just delay that till i've done this treatment first. No joycep i didn't add water, i just, er, caught some mid flow, about a large teaspoons worth (nice). and yes my sexy colds were hidden c, ureaplasma, and gardnerella vaginalis which is 'a change in the vaginal flora composition and is indicative of vaginal infection'.

I'm off to reflexology now. But Carebear just to say that gardnerella vaginalis and vaginal flora sounds like something pretty in your lady garden. Can't wait to hear how the next steps go. This is so very interesting. Well done on being the period pioneer :)

Hi everyone

Nothing exciting to add... I am just sitting here trying not to mental ahead of my blood test at the posh clinic on Monday morning, which I'm now dreading as I'm sure it'll be negative....but just wanted to check in with you all and generally sympathise with the OH stress, the ERTDs, and the IVF woe.

Also wanted to cheer for carebear sending her period to Athens - uh-mazing, I am so intrigued! - and for sarlat's new woo, 90s music nostalgia, and the lists of positive things about not having kids. I totally agree on the looking younger thing - I know a couple of identical twins and the way I tell them apart is that the one with children looks considerably more haggard than the one without.

Waves and youthful, non-vomit stained tail feather waggles to you all. My sister is arriving this evening for a whole 10 days - can't wait. Very interesting about Carla Bruni, that is cheering news!

I was diagnosed with gardeneralla as a teenager and told it was an std. I had only had two partners at that point an both were friendly so I went through the embarrasment of telling them, they got tested and both clear. I went back to gp but a different one in the practice and they said no it was just an infection and could be passed like that. Mortified is not the word. I got tested constantly since then and never had issues yet when they did my Chlamydia blood test it showed I had it at some point, even gp was baffled as all clean tests on record. They keep mentioning it at the clinic even though they have found no evidence of damage and its really upsetting me. OH has been fine about it but it makes me feel like they are saying its your fault you were dirty and slaggy. I know its stupid as it happens but I still feel crap about it.

Morning lovely 10+ers!

I spent an hour or so catching up but have not finished, but I am not going to, I fear... So here I am again. Away with work and busy with friends (and copious amounts of alcohol) all of this week, which culminated in AF yesterday. I am having a lap, probably on bloody day 11, so we might have to take precautions it has been a while, but otherwise it will be much later...

Waves and hugs to all the mehness. But at the reasons to like a childless and pg-less life. Quick YAY for the new consultant sarlat and get well for mrsd. Sorry about the weight thing as well as all the other shit euro. Thinking of you all and I have just passed the last moment I could get pg to have a baby before 34... And someone talked to me in the pub about IVF as a lifestyle choice and an option for if you leave it too late. I did not yell at them (as it was a friend of a friend) but was a bit

Right, time to find some food and start a lovely relaxing (self-focussed) Saturday.