Right. Feel better for having got that off my chest a little, so will try to catch up some. But a warning ? this post will contain lots of sweary words as that is how I am feeling.
Firstly the IVF leave. I don?t think my boss was being a deliberate wanker. But I had a subsequent chat with a colleague (the one and only person that knows about my issues outwith my sister) and she agreed that my boss might not be as empathic as I?d like. That said, the leave is official policy, so I?ll probably take what I can.
I am so sorry that many of you have been feeling meh, but well done wine for coming back and fluffing some tail feathers! I am so glad your body is doing you proud and starting to recover, and as others have said, get shagging! euro the IVF sounds like it?s affecting your moods a lot and it must be so tough. Try to see it for what it is ? hormonal shite ? and remember it will pass. Take it day by day, we?re all rooting for you. It sounds a bit like I feel about decorating. I absolutely hate all the packing stuff away and cleaning and sanding and prepping, but as soon as I open the paint tin and start on the upward curve towards the end, everything immediately feels better.
princess this feels like ages ago now but hahahahhaha about your biting the pillow comment! I was at my desk skim-reading when I saw that, and got a few weird looks by my snorting and sniggering. Thank you for thinking of us in your genie wishes.
purple I am appalled beyond measure about the comment made to you during your adoption process. What a nasty horrible thing for anyone to say.
Oh god buzzy I am so cross with Mr B on your behalf for suggesting waiting re the IUI 
Have they no idea??? I harbour a (so far secret) grudge against Mr Nelly (more on him later) about the fact he dithered for so long about kids. Such ridiculous obstacles he imagined in our way. Meanwhile my eggs shrivelled up and died and 2 years later it?s looking less and less likely it?ll ever happen. I try so hard not to blame him for our lack of up-diffed-ness, but in my darker moments, which include now, that thought certainly lingers. I suspect this isn?t entirely healthy. Oh, I see artemis has posted similar (see, you are me!) and you put it very well ? about it is you that age is an issue for, rather than him. My Nelly has no idea.
gin I?m sorry about the Meh-ness and the unwelcome anniversary. (For anyone reading this as a lurker, here?s a tip, don?t start TTC around a birthday. It makes future birthdays very unwelcome, I can tell you). Anyway I understand you still have the hope each month. Partly MN is to blame, for all the miracle stories we read on here. And for me at least, I think if I didn?t have the hope, I?d be in a very dark place. With all the crap that?s been going on here, and the most recent nasty banter with Mr Nelly (by text, lovely, because he is at work all the time just now), I began to think about whether we were actually about to split up. I don?t actually know the answer to that one yet, but it flashed through my mind that, given my age, if we did, I?d clearly never be having children. This made me desperately sad, but at the same time I long for the closure this would give. I?m not ready to voluntarily take that step yet, but I wonder if it?s not as far away as I?d imagined. But then again ? how will I ever stop? I?m not sure I can. Where there?s a womb, there?s a way, right??? I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be adored. Oooh now I might need to go and dig that out! Much better than Tom Jones 
alwayshopeful oh good luck with getting your boss to agree to MN time . Crikey, that makes me shudder so much! I now never use my work PC ? screen too obvious - but sometimes read and speed post on my phone during the day. The other day I had the App open, a colleague came over so I surreptitiously hit the ?kill screen? button on my phone as I laid it to one side. Only I didn?t, and about 20 seconds later realised the phone was still lit up, with a massive banner at the top of the page saying CONCEPTION. Oh dear.
carrie how are you feeling, any clearer on treatment or what is wrong? Sorry if you?ve said, I?m reading and posting at the same time.
pout I?m glad you are a girl again :). Sorry about your Meh-ness too though, I share the frustration with you and MrP about just being fobbed off straight to IVF. I will be interested to see if my private consulation is any more interested/thorough, or a further box ticking exercise.
sarlat I am so pleased you got a more useful conversation this time round, you must feel like a big weight has been lifted.
OK I give up trying to catch up. But back to the not having children. Funnily enough, the other day I noticed a preggo colleague looking very much in pain waddling about in flat shoes. I am truly an evil bitch, but I delighted in her misery, because she is the one who I know got pregnant very quickly, despite being a year older than me. So the very next day I came into the office wearing a gorgeous skirt outfit, with ridiculously high heels, and felt much cheered. HA, fertiltity gods, suck on that! 
.
You can partake in dangerous sports without worrying about who will take care of them when if you get hurt.
You don?t have to go to softplay.
You don?t have to suddenly start talking to everyone you know about poo quality/quantity/colour/texture.
you don?t have to stay with someone who is a total twat, just because he?s the father of your children
Oh I don't mean that at all. Hopefully Mr Nelly and I can resolve this crisis, but it won?t be happening tonight. He behaved like a bit of a knob, but as he unwittingly did so about an hour after ERTD arrived, he rather got the full hormonally influenced tongue-lashing, and feels unjustly punished. I on the other hand feel like he deserved it. Won?t go into full details but somewhere in the conversation about how our honeymoon was too expensive, I asked him if he was sorry he was marrying me because between wedding, honeymoon and IVF I was clearly quite expensive . It was all very ugly. I suspect CD1 had more to do with it than I realised, but after I told him this he didn?t back down one iota, or understand that I was a)hormonal and b) sad, frustrated, angry, fucked off, and distraught at how my body had once again failed to produce the goods.
Oh I fucking hate this TTC shit. Honestly, the IVF thing is hovering above me like a big massive FAIL sign and it?s making me doubt my ability to succeed at anything. Even, it seems, my relationship :(
Bugger I didn?t mean to end on a down note but having written it all down I sort of feel better, so just ignore and let me use MN as a rather public venting opportunity. Hopefully I will be back in a cheerier mood tomorrow.