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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC first baby

999 replies

cwtching · 27/04/2012 12:20

Hello all! DH and I are TTC our first baby, I'm 31, he's 32. We've only been trying for a month so it is extremely early days but I'm so excited at the prospect.

DH may have some fertility issues (picked up on a scan) but I was pretty convinced it was going to be a BFP straight away as I had so many symptoms - but that shows how much I know! Blush

Is anyone else TTC their first baby? Please join and keep me company!!

OP posts:
KickingUpQuestions · 22/05/2012 13:50

That said, can I join? small voice

Pinkie29 · 22/05/2012 14:28

kitten I did ask the doc about it and she didn't seem concerned, I'm on 20mg so relatively low dose I know the baby can suffer withdrawals in the first few weeks and I've read a bit about switching to a different type of medication whilst pg (sertraline I think?)

Might book an appointment!

Popinda · 22/05/2012 15:00

Rodeo I know exactly what you mean! I keep looking at my period calendar few times a day and it's just not moving! This has been the longest cycle ever!!!! And still 3 day to go before I know for sure!
It very silly but I'm already thinking how am I going to tell everyone! We are going for dinner on Saturday with our friends and I already am thinking what I'm going to say when they will offer me a vine, 'sorry cant have any, just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant!' Grin fx I can really say that!

mrsbugsywugsy · 22/05/2012 15:08

Thanks for all your congratulations & support

Suzy the pains lasted for one evening and we?re bad enough to need an ibuprofen (which I?ve now heard isn?t recommended in pregnancy ? oops)

Pinkie sorry to hear you are having problems with your DP. I agree with everything Kitten & the others said but also think it can be quite a scary thing for men, and if they aren?t very good at articulating themselves then that can also come across as grumpiness/not caring.

I think I better wander across to the pregnancy boards now, but will pop back and see how you are all doing.

Popinda · 22/05/2012 15:41

Bugsy how long did it take you to conceive?

KickingUpQuestions · 22/05/2012 15:44

Bugsy - how far off your AF were the cramps? And they didn't last a few days, right? Just a night?

Pinkie29 · 22/05/2012 15:51

Thanks bugsy very pleased for you Smile

I think I'll sit and have a proper chat with him tonight he is a typical man and not good at expressing himself (cause he's just a bloke really lol)

Wish you all the best for your pregnancy and future dc x

Pinkie29 · 22/05/2012 15:52

Oh and typically I seem to be oving now lol!

KickingUpQuestions · 22/05/2012 15:55

Going back to the DH thing - I also think they don't want to push up our obsessions. And also, they get just as disappointed when AF comes but they generally have a hormonal, sobbing wife on their hands so they can't exactly display their disappointment. Imagine how we would feel?!!

Mine would happily go through baby shops with me and oooh and aaah over baby things but I know two things (because he told me):

  1. He gets really excited and when AF comes, he is crushed. So he needs to be practical and not think about it all day - he goes just as insane. He did also say that he knows it's easier for him to switch it off because he isn't' the one wondering what that twinge means. So he feels for me because he knows that I can't turn off and that I obsess. So he tries to just take some of the obsessing away.
  1. They do want to experience the pregnancy. But I think they try to protect themselves and us. As much as we feel about how we matter about falling pregnant, they worry about infertility too. DH said he will leave it another 3 months and get his swimmers done. But it's also a man thing to be quite shy about that since that's what they are SUPPOSED to do. It's just meant to work. Women are better at asking for help

Don't despair though. They're all the same :)

KickingUpQuestions · 22/05/2012 15:57

Pinkie - perfect time to have some wine. Have a chat. Tell him that you're not blaming him or accusing him, but you want to tell him how you feel . You don't want him to fix anything, you just want him to listen to you and to understand what you feel. Then you tell him.

And then...MAKE UP SEX!

And don't tell him you're OV :D

MissMedusa · 22/05/2012 15:58

Kicking it sounds like you have a very open, communicative DH. You're very lucky :)

Kittenkatzen · 22/05/2012 16:21

i agree medusa......kicking could you kindly loan your DH out to the rest of us please so that he can tell our OH's how to communicate properly? You'll get him back when we're done of course. Thanks! :o:o

Oh, and welcome! :)

winkle2 · 22/05/2012 16:22

KickingUpQuestions - my hubby is the same. he was really disappointed when Af showed last month but he never said anything to me because he doesnt want to upset me anymore. Also, a few of our friends got preg on their first month of trying so he says he does wonder why it hasnt happened straightaway for us.

KickingUpQuestions · 22/05/2012 17:05

Trust me, he doesn't always talk. But I have asked him to try and imagine the feeling and then to put it into words. I said I can't fix things if I don't know how he feels.

I think we fight when we miscommunicate. And one day, I was all girly wanting to look in Mothercare and he sounded apprehensive. I knew something was up but just figured he wasn't in the mood for it. I left it and kept walking and he gathered I was upset because sometimes I feel like he isn't interested and THAT was when he explained how he felt about everything :)

I appreciate that he tries. It's not easy for them either but just know that they really do think differently to us and it's not always black and white that because they don't experience things we experience them, that they feel any less or any more. They just express themselves differently... :)

KickingUpQuestions · 22/05/2012 17:07

I am a book worm. I read up on how to communicate and how to get the other non-fair sex to talk.

And thanks for the welcome.

Failing that, you're welcome to use him for communication purposes :D

KickingUpQuestions · 22/05/2012 17:12

And last thing was I think winkle and I were in a similar boat last month? I was certain I was pregnant. DH was certain I was pregnant.

Very unfortunate fall from grace. Not easy to cope with that. I was crying at work (I was 4 days late with all the "symptoms") and got home and just sobbed.

So let's be fair - the poor bloke is probably just as devastated (he wouldn't admit it though) but when you feel so down, and so out of control and it's so easy to blame yourself - there is nothing else he can do! Other than pretend its not an issue and try to console his sobbing wife.

They do a good job, I think. For what we go through, I would rather not have him sobbing as well. I would feel infinitely worse

Pinkie29 · 22/05/2012 18:06

All this stress makes me want to just pay a doctor to artificially inseminate me lol!!

We dtd (properly) on Friday which was 4 days ago so I guess there is a slight chance there will be a swimmer lurking to greet the egg? I assumed i was nowhere near ov so didn't do the legs in the air part!

I tested about 19:30 last night and was a complete negative so my surge started sometime between 19:30 and 14:30 today Hmm

Fx crossed anyway! At least now I can test on June 6th... Crap... I'll be in the dreadful 2ww tomorrow!

KFFOREVER · 22/05/2012 19:10

Congratulations Bugsy on your BFP. Come on ladies don't get down one day we will get the BFP one day FX!!!!!!!

I went to A&E this morning because I could not sleep as I had stomach cramps. Been having these cramps since friday night and affecting my lowerback. I could not take the pain anymore so I went hospital. It was a waste of time going. All she did was prod and poke my stomach and told me to go GP. Even though my right side on my lower abdomin was hurting more than the left she still did not do any other tests apart from urine test which I knew would be BFN (I did a test on sunday and Monday too). I went sexual health clinic yesterday and they only do urine tests. Good job I have a doc's appointment tomorrow. I seriously am going doolaly. I would not be so hung up about my cramps but I also have sore boobs. I must say my hubby has been great but as you all ladies have been saying he's much more laidback about ttc. It's hard not to worry and obsess and I suppose it's not going to make ttc any quicker.

mrsbugsywugsy · 22/05/2012 19:53

Popinda we were very lucky, this was our first month of active trying

Kicking the cramps were on day 18, 4 days after ovulation (I think). They just lasted one evening. Then I had spotting on day 28, which I thought was AF but obviously not.

fingers crossed for everyone!

NicolaHazel · 22/05/2012 20:13

Arrrggghhh...my turn for credit card fraud today. Vaguely sorted now though, in that my card is stopped. Have to call again tomorrow to get a dispute form sent to me. :-/

Feeling very crampy, so hopefully ERTD tomorrow...then I can start to chart my cycle for the future :-)

Bugsy how long without contraception for you? Talk about cracking luck! Hope I fall as easily.

QueenOfTheRodeo · 23/05/2012 00:35

Oh no thats awful about your credit cards nicola - hope it all gets sorted out for you.

popinda are you 3 days away from af? Are you waiting until af is a no-show until you test?

Good luck at docs tomorrow KF

Welcome to the thread kicking - think this is the 3rd thread we're on together Smile I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm in awe of your DH's communication skills! He could teach my DH a thing or two! Grin

NicolaHazel · 23/05/2012 06:32

Well...last pill-induced ERTD started in earnest last night. VERY crampy! :-/

So, I've started my spreadsheet!! :-)

Popinda · 23/05/2012 07:00

QueenRodeo my Af is due on Friday. I tested about 7x so far! Grin (addicted to testing!) all BFN so I'm waiting till Friday to test again (which is v hard btw) Grin in Af is a no show! I totally made myself believe last week that I'm pg! I had 'every single' pg symptom (sore boobs-still are, cramps in lower abd, my sense of smell is amazing at the moment, metalic taste, tired and I could go on! Smile)! At least I want to believe that! So I been testing like crazy!
I think it's because this is are first months tyc and I we were always so careful! I spent so much time worrying that I was pg when I didn't want to be (i was on pill and still was worried) and now I'm worrying I'm not! I was also made believed that it is enough to just look at the willy and I'll be pg! I think this is why I made myself believe I'm pg this months! It should be easy, no? Sorry for rambling! Smile

KickingUpQuestions · 23/05/2012 09:05

If you have every single pg symptom, it means that the hormone HcG would be in your system at a high enough level to give you those symptoms.

So do the test. If they are pg symptoms, you will test positive.

QueenOfTheDrama · 23/05/2012 09:25

Morning ladies - slight name change here (used to be rodeo), I think this name suits me better Grin

Yay nicola in under a week you will be officially ttc Smile exciting!!

popinda - kicking is right about the preg symptoms/testing positive. Hopefully though you just hadn't implanted yet and that was why you were getting BFNs, fx that af is a no-show tomorrow Smile

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