The BESH Eurovision Song Contest eva

[eurochick]

Asseyez-vous mes amies and ready yourselves for the BESH Eurovision contest ever. Get ready with your Central European fashion, transvestites and inability to sing anything in tune. Get ready to rip your skirts off and leave your other halves no option but to make their mind up (do you see what I did there?) to get down to some swi and do your best not to think of Terry Wogan at any point in the proceedings. Finally, get ready to yell ?nul points? at the evil Droid should it dare to make an appearance.

Newbies, approach in high euro-camp mode, find and complete the BESHtionnaire to let us judge whether you are cynical and menkul enough to join us.

Oooo can I watch and score from the sidelines?

Je suis une BESH wannabe and I love the Eurovision so much I have been known to host gin & wine soaked parties to celebrate it!

BESHtionnaire:

1. Do you like gin? yes. And all the other alcohols.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   n/a

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

c or am I doing it wrong?

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

a

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

I think the answer must be b but I don't know why. Does this disqualify me?

6. Number of pets? None, one hairy husband

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Jean Luc Picard. I'd love to rub that baldy head

8. Lesbian crush?
   My first love was Jet from Gladiators. Retro crush!

9. What are your views on camping?
   Did it once at a beer festival. In the morning I threw the tent in the bin

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

C

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.

Lurked a bit, seems like my cup o'gin

Do I pass?

Great start to the thread!

Oooh do I smell fresh meat?! Wow, hello winkly! The answer to the R2D2 question is evil - we don't say af, we refer to periods as 'the Droid'.
How long have you been trying to win a baybee?

Ooo, a newbie already. Nice BESHtionnaire. I see you share my views on camping.

JL Picard??? That's a bit, er, leftfield...

interesting crushes!
It's crummy weather here. I'm chilly but Je bois une tasse tea mmm et Je suis a bit warmer now.
Can we just drop eurovision song titles into our chit chat? Like the time has arrived for me to be making my mind up whether or not I'm going to venture to the shops?!

Fantastic! A new fred and a new BESH all at once. Hello winklepicker . Tell us all about yourself. Jet was totally hot. I wanted to be her. Actually, we should do a Gladiators fred, and spend each cycle running up the travelator for a win.

Good idea, Norfy. After all, each month we end up back at square one so that would be quite fitting!

Faith definitely, but we need to remember more titles than just the bucks fuizz one...

Happy new fred. I am shite with eurovision songs, can someone google me a helpful list, like the pirate dictonary?

Yay - new blood - newer than me :) do spill the beans, winkywonky! What should we not know about you, but will you share anyway is having flashbacks of the foreskin conversation, right now

It is assignment time again in the lemon household this weekend, so you can expect me to be about, occasionally

PS my fridge is diffed (that is what is it called if you have hcg in you, right?)

[runs in]

[whips off skirt]

Afternoon all! Nice fred Euro, and greetings to our newest victim member

Heh@diffed fridge! Mine is too. It's the only thing that ever gets diffed chez euro!

Dr Google has a few suggestions. For example: www.squidoo.com/eurovisionsongs
Do you remember Lordi? They were "interesting"... And Daz. Crikey. Oh, and Dana International.

But mainly I think we should get slowly shozzled through the fred, just like Wogan used to.

Douze points pour Les BESH!

Welcome newbie, may you always be walking on sunshine. (woah-ho)

Remember Gina G? Ah, those were the days.

Yes pliz winkywoo to give more details or we will be forever boggling about JL Picard and Gladiators!
I made it round Tezzas Tesco not Terry Wogan's house in one piece. The car is also as it was since yesterday [embarrassed] and no worse.
Continuing the 90s chick flick fest today with 10 things I hate about you. It's so witty :) My favourite character has to be the crazy guidance counsellor aka the woman that was in West Wing and played Juno's step mum

Ooh-ahh Northey, just a little bit!

Allison Janney. She is epicmazing, faif.

AMNH will not now be stopping in to diff me, because he has fannied about all morning and missed his train and therefore will be late for his party if he pauses further for sechs on route. Right. Nice to know that this whole doomed baybee project is lower in his priorities than one extra hour at a party that will probably last seven.

I would be a tad in your position Northey. I think it's nearly sechsing time so I am contemplating greeting MSB in my undies with a beer tonight - too much?!

I was extremely , faith. Simmering down a bit now after putting an early dinner of garlic bread and chips (dont even think of judging me) and settling down for the Big Bang Theory. Soft Kitty makes everything better.

Undies and beer? I'd do you.

Maybe I have not been trying to win a baybee for long enough to be here as it has only been 6 months. Got married 2 and a half years ago and waiting Til The Time Was Right, as Johnny Logan sang in 1980 "what's another year" - well the two years waiting were a Mistake, and most of my family now think I am a child-hater or barren or just a selfish caaah and have given up on my uterus.

If I am not being kicked off I will say that I would be too Northey, and that greeting a man in undies with a beer sounds like Just Enough.

I am willing to answer any and all questions raised by my BESHtionairre! What boggling is there to be done? JL is a plummy voiced prince of a man!

Bon soir mes amies, je suis tres joyeux a la fred nouveux! Le topic est excellent, felicitations Euro

All I'm going to say is I'm v glad it's the weekend, ooh, agh, just a littlebit. (was that shoehorned in ok?)

Welcome winkly, already this Fred is a better new blood lure than the prev. I blame those foul mouthed parrots (but I do miss, er... Bob). Personally, I always preferred the second in command to jl Picard. Even with the dubious facial hair.

Northey, nil points the AMNH. Poor form. GHJ's off on a stag doo, but think ov has come and gone so I'm just abandoned, rather than

What's weekend plans for all? I'm getting my hair dyed. about bloody time When's the next kidney poking/menkulling dueto start?

Just go for the nipple tassels faithy.

Have just found out that my cousins' wife is expecting too. Still finding it oddness.

Norfy, men just don't GET it do they. Meh.

KFZK has a mancold but is going to get jumped anyway. So I should probably leave work and get on with it!

Nice shoehorning, sinking

Dor do stick around and judge us score from the sidelines!

How old iz you pliz winkers? That impacts on the length of time trying to win a baybee but don't worry I think you're in
I don't judge your dinner northus, I would have added some cheese to the top to be fair. I've just scoffed a gluten free pizza whilst watching Big Bang myself. Yum!
and er yes it worked a treat

I just posted this on another thread but it is amusing me so I thought it was worth repeating sharing here.

We were discussing earlier after what was probably our last swi for this cycle (cos we need to make sure that KFZK has something left in the tank for the procedure) that IUI is the ultimate in outsourcing - "I can't be bothered to spaff in my wife. Here's the goods. Plz deal,"

Back on the theme with a couple of Wogan gems:

?There's not enough silliness in the world. Eurovision helps to keep it balanced.?
Terry Wogan, BBC.

Who knows what hellish future lies ahead? ? Actually, I do. I've seen the rehearsals," - opening remark for the 2007 show in Finland.

"That's the same song the French have been singing since they hung the washing up on the Maginot Line,"