After m/c - the [wine] and [shagging] thread

[FoofFighter]

Funthatisfunny, booboomonster, madeinchinababy - anyone else who's recently had a BFP sadly followed by a miscarriage - welcome [busmile]

Me - got a shock BFP on 5th March, had early scan at 9 weeks (after I talked to midwife about feeling something was wrong, lost symptoms) on Friday 6th April showing baby had died around 6-7 weeks. Our little Widget left me on Saturday 7th April thread here

I have been wonderfully supported here on Mumsnet but especially by the above people who are sadly going through the same thing right now or waiting to, very special people to be thinking of others at such a sad time for them and their partners.

Although the baby was unplanned and completely unexpected, we want to try. And time is against us as I am 39 in June. So here we are. I'm not sure if we'll wait a period of time or just see what happens but having had secondary infertilty with my now ex husband for 5+years I do NOT want to get het up on BBT, CM checking, OPKS.

So in talking with the lovely ladies we decided that other threads were quite well established and to start a new one based mostly on alcohol and sex

Anyone is welcome, just jump right in :)

Just found this link www.babyexpert.com/get-pregnant/conceiving/vitamins-boost-fertility-and-conception - so am going to carry on taking my Pregnacare and extra folic acid (BMI is 36) and extra Vit D (not prescribed, just taking as have been as near as dammit housebound for a year with a back problem so probably not a bad idea - plus other countries advise much higher doses than the UK does).

jo sadly, yes, when am not is a post-mc depressive state I am a bossy, opinionated know-it-all :( In my defence I am an eldest sister of five (half siblings) the oldest grandchild of a gazillion and am trained by the fine academies of our land to be opinionated.

In myself I am actually quite a shy person Am being a gobshite today though, I'll be better when I have calmed down with me vino and breathed out :)!

Oh yes, bring on wine o clock :)

Congrats on bfp ice, I agree you R doctor is a cock. What a shitty and unhelpful attitude. You can go back in 9 months and shove a big fat belly in his face!!

Hope everyone has nice plans for the weekend. We are having a tskeaway tonight (curry) and going out (sans daughter) for posh lunch tomorrow to celebrate hubs birthday then on Monday I really need to start losing some of my extra padding!!

Cheers !!

hehe chuckle!

boozy for me tonight, and am making DH be on night duty - I haven't had a full night in my own bed for two weeks! Tomorrow is takeaway night :) I am running tomorrow, swimming on sunday and loafing the rest of the time. hurrah!

happy beeday to your DH I hope you have a lovely child free lunch!

ice great news! Congratulations!! Don't worry about faint positive. I took a first response on the Monday and it was a faint but def positive the Tuesday I took digi clear blue and it said 1-2 then on the Thursday I took another first response (wanted to see it go darker) and it was much darker. Leave it 3/4 days & try again if u like. So pleased for you. Sticky vibes to you!

Xx

Congratulations ice - a line is a line. Your doc should not have spoken to you like that, you should report him. Like wild says there is no more likelihood that you will MC than anyone else, so relax and fingers crossed it sticks!

I can be very bossy & opinionated too , glad I'm in feisty company!

Rubbish news here - AF showed up today and I'm feeling like crap. DD2 woke at 4am and hasn't gone back down, DH and I had a huge row about who had the least sleep, and then I go and get AF plus horrendous stomach ache. Am feeling very p'd off needless to say. I know we dtd at the right time this month and last month and, well, WTF!!!!???

Right now that's out of my system, and given that I can't now conceive til July which may as well be next year, as far away as it sounds I am going to go on a diet and fitness bender, in the hope of feeling a bit better about myself. Introducing the all new booboo..... (in 2 months time)!

Sorry about af boo, ihabe loss 2 more times and all bfn, af due tomorrow I think :(
I have cried all week and I just dongt know why. Hopefully nice lunch will cheer me up (en route to restaurant now hence crap spelling) ahoy!!

Ps ... Fitness bender about to start at chez chuckle too, am sickofseeing skinny pregnant so.en, iwant to look lime that when is pregnant instead of looking like a weeble :)

Apologies for garbage messages, I have just read them back and I don't understand them so you lot have no chance! I am blaming moving car, my inability to use my phone and auto correct.

Sorry about AF boo it's so rubbish isn't it? July isn't that far away in the grand scheme of things but it's incredibly frustrating to have to wait.

Chuckle I think I can decipher your posts (I knew there would be some perks to working with only low ability kids, I can now understand the gist of ANYTHING ) Sorry you've had bfn's, hope your lunch does cheer you up. I want to look like the skinny pregnant people too, but I know I looked like a weeble with both dds so will prob be a weeble again if I ever get the chance. I am starting a health and fitness kick too though (again) Let's hope I stick to it this time.

Thanks Jo and chuckle , I am feeling quite miserable. Went for a long run to kick start health regime which gave a temporary high but now I'm plunged into despair - partly at the thought of no chocolate! Oh dear. I need help! You are right though, July isn't that far off! Good luck with your health kicks, and your garbled message did raise a smile chuckle (just realised we are both monsters .) which is a miracle right now.

sorry about AF boo! that sucks :( I can totally understand why you are down. Well done for going for a run!

Sorry you are down chuckle. I cried randomly today too, I think we are all still pretty hormonal after the mc's seeing as we all seem to keep crying hither and thither.

i am grumpy about the fact I have to go for a run in a bit, and, like you boo, also have no chocolate and nor can I have any. meh. And my only favourite jeans were tight on me this morning which basically put me in a bad mood from the off.

I have wombache and tugging feelings today which makes me mental that I might be pg but actually, as I could only be 4/5 dpo (if I have actually ovulated yet this month), it is more likely to point to a hormone imbalance :(. Or early cramping would point to a likely mc. I can't do it again. Gah.

DH has taken the toddler to the park, hurray :) Some time to myself. DH is watchiing the footie tonight so no doubt I will be on here scoffing pizza having gone for a run and feeliing fit as a fiddle...

I will run, I will!

Hmm, I'm having a weird day today. I went to the hairdressers and the last time I was there I was happily discussing my pregnancy. This time she asked how I was and I said I had had a mc. That pretty much killed the conversation and it was really awkward after that. I feel really silly and don't feel I can go back there now :( I just keep thinking that maybe she had forgotten I was pg and that was a really odd thing to say. Oh why do I have to over analyse everything. I wanted to find a new hairdresser anyway.

Looks like we are all on a health kick then. I have eaten very healthily for the last two days apart from the wine last night and have just been for a lovely long country walk with DH. I would like to take up running like some of you but I'm not sure where to start.

Boo grr at AF. I'm hoping mine packs up and leaves today. Hope yours stays away chuckle and you have had a nice lunch.

Just back from scrummy lunch and feeling much chirpier than I have all week. Dh had agreed to investigating the possibility of a summer holiday ( which to me means 'go and book a holiday') so while he is watching footie tonight I will be on the internet looking for a 5 star, 2 bedroomed villa some where exclusive for very little ££!

Hairdressers shouldn't ask questions if they can t handle the answer hee, I always want them to shut up and concentrate on my hair anyway!!

yay for scrummy lunch and holiday to lift your spirits chuckle! Where you going, tell tell.

ah, hee what an awkward experience. I hate the hairdressers (even though my hairdresser is very talented and lovely) because I loathe, and am utterly incompetent at, small talk, and being touched by strangers. hate it. If they don't talk I am happy.

Re running, have you heard of the couch to 5k programme hee? Type it into google if not, looks really good and works for people who never run :)

I did go for my meagre run and feel much better for it. Realised that the tugging womb feelings could be something to do with my new exercise regime which includes sit-ups . I am partly significantly convinced I am pg for absolutely no reason, and know I will be totally gutted when I get my AF. what an idiot. Will be on PMT watch from tomorrow - I normally go crazy for the week before I am due on. Full of rage and impatience with everything and everyone. Was so bad I went to the gp to go back on the pill just before I fell pg. Hate hormones :( I knew I was pg before because I didn't go crackers and depressed and was actually really upbeat.

Well done on the run wilde - I wish I wasnt so lazy!!

We went to the Harvey Nichols restaurant (Manchester) for lunch. It was very yummy and I think DH enjoyed it even though it was me that wanted to go (it was his birthday treat after all!)

I have just found out yet another friend of mine is pregnant. I am really, really happy for her, shes one of my besties and I love her but I want to cry again (I wont cry again, I am sick of crying this week)

Going to have to find something funny to watch on TV, I need a good laugh.

ah toss chuckle, am very happy your friend is pg but owch for you. I have just got pissed off at MORE baby pics put up by my friend; yes, you have had your second child, yes you are a SAHM, yes your life is fabulous. now go away. No really, go away.

I have managed to talk myself out of thinking I am pg and now know it is muscle soreness from exercising and post-ov symptoms :) Back to reality thank goodness :) I shall symptom spot no more and patiently wait for my AF :)

bed and a book for me soon!

That's hard Chuckle. I know exactly what you mean about being happy for her but miserable for yourself. I'm very glad that most of my friends are not at the baby stage of their lives, they either have older children and are happy with that or they are single (not that that stops pregnancies bt it does make them less likely). Did you find anything funny to watch on tv?

Glad you've stopped SS wild. I did think you were being a bit previous. You have my permission to start again in another 2 weeks, no more til then

Thanks for the couch to 5k tip wilde. I've just done my first one - me, early on a Sunday morning! I feel pretty good about it :o

chuckle I know what you mean about your friend. One of mine is pg too and constantly complains about it on facebook - I'm happy for her but it is hard to read.

well done hee! very impressed; up and at 'em!

jo definitely keen for a of sense, but have to say it doesn't help that with both my previous pg's I had symptoms from the day I conceived. Am not SS though, nooooo, just chilling and waiting for AF to make a june baby :)

Bloody BFP again today :( Very very faint, but there. will do it again on Tues and if still the same kind of faint pos might ring someone. I feel alright though, no weird cramping or illness that might indicate infection. no spotting. hmm, is a pain though.

swimming in a bit. Salmon for dins. Cutting down on caffiene... healthy, healthy.

Well done all you healthy ladies!! I have just read the couch to 5k and will probably read it every day for the next 8 weeks- who knows if I will actually get off my backside and do it, I just hate exercise so much!

Just enjoying my last meal before I start my 'sexy for summer' kick (like a health kick but with lots of nice face masks and manicures etc). DH had said we can look at a cheapo last minute week away somewhere over the summer, I am stupidly excited at the prospect of sun!!

hey girls thanks for the sympathy. Feeling a bit better today (though very achey legs which are slightly jerky when I walk due to running yesterday, ouch). Went for another run today though too and have been healthy so feeling positive about the dieting opportunity! Have realised that part of the reason I was in such a hurry to get pg is because I am not very happy with my job at the moment. I used to love my job, but there are lots of issues right now that are making it less enjoyable. So thinking about the future... I know lots of you are thinking same, it's good to widen our goals so they are not just 'to get pg' as after we have babies the other problems will likely still be there.

Anyway, well done on first run Hee - excellent news. It's a killer isn't it? Hope your legs aren't aching as much as mine.

chuckle I like the idea of a 'sexy for summer' kick - that's a good way of putting it! Fake tan here I come.... .

Hope everyone has had a good weekend. thanks for the support!

boo you are so wise :) I am going to think about what other gaps being pg might fill having to get a job and put DS in full time childcare :( and address them!

I nearly, nearly got my BFN today. It is a line that could be an evap line. I am squinting veeeeeery hard and a lot of the time can see nothing then, whoomph I can see it. hehe. Normally am doing that to see if I am preggo not this way round! Am really chuffed and will test again weds and definitely expect to see a negative. Today is a negative really unless you are a line obsessive like moi.

Very sore today from swimming yesterday!

Hope everyone has a happy monday :)

Well, AF got me this morning and as i was updating my spreadsheets (you guys all have spreadsheets too don't you....) I realised that next time I ov is likely to clash with this stupid big beer festival weekend that is sone sort of ' tradition' for dh. I don't mind him going at all, as long as he shags me in the morning before he goes or promises to be sober enogh to dtd on return. Question is, do I tell him I know when I ov and run the risk of the pressure causing 'problems' (has happened in past) or do I try and play it cool but then run the risk of him being all 'not tonight darling' and not knowing why I've turned into psycho bitch from hell?? advice please!! I can cope with not getting pg but i wad furious this month that we didn't even give ourselves a fighting chance.

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine