After m/c - the [wine] and [shagging] thread

[FoofFighter]

Funthatisfunny, booboomonster, madeinchinababy - anyone else who's recently had a BFP sadly followed by a miscarriage - welcome [busmile]

Me - got a shock BFP on 5th March, had early scan at 9 weeks (after I talked to midwife about feeling something was wrong, lost symptoms) on Friday 6th April showing baby had died around 6-7 weeks. Our little Widget left me on Saturday 7th April thread here

I have been wonderfully supported here on Mumsnet but especially by the above people who are sadly going through the same thing right now or waiting to, very special people to be thinking of others at such a sad time for them and their partners.

Although the baby was unplanned and completely unexpected, we want to try. And time is against us as I am 39 in June. So here we are. I'm not sure if we'll wait a period of time or just see what happens but having had secondary infertilty with my now ex husband for 5+years I do NOT want to get het up on BBT, CM checking, OPKS.

So in talking with the lovely ladies we decided that other threads were quite well established and to start a new one based mostly on alcohol and sex

Anyone is welcome, just jump right in :)

Just found this link www.babyexpert.com/get-pregnant/conceiving/vitamins-boost-fertility-and-conception - so am going to carry on taking my Pregnacare and extra folic acid (BMI is 36) and extra Vit D (not prescribed, just taking as have been as near as dammit housebound for a year with a back problem so probably not a bad idea - plus other countries advise much higher doses than the UK does).

Well my temp dropped again this morning so I guess this is not a good sign and I'm just waiting for AF now. This is my second cycle after mc and I guess my hormones still aren't back to normal. But I did have weird spotting and cramps... I will just have to wait and see.
Daisy Sorry about your BFN. Still keeping fingers crossed for you.
boo I agree about the obsessing over temps might not be useful. I don't know whether or not I will do it next cycle. I'm thinking maybe not but my curiosity usually gets the better of me.

Daisy hope you had a good night out!

Jo My social life is severely limited hence such a let down! We went to a restaurant which served the most appalling excuse for food you can imagine. It was shocking. It makes me feel sick to think of it. It was meat and chips soaked in vinaigrette, and the meat was like disgusting lumps of cardboard. I didn't want a scene so I'd told DH not to say anything (I am a wimp) although he said he would before we left. But then the woman asked me why I had not eaten it. Her English wasn't great so she didn't understand my initial 'er it wasn't that great' so I practically had to shout 'It's not good!" and she looked disgusted. Then the chap came over and apologised and took it off the bill. It was all very . Anyway, glad you had a nice night out despite people asking nosy questions. I can see your dilema about ttc - how would your OH react to a 'surprise' pregnancy?

Wild hurrah to kitten therapy (I think that could really take on) - do keep us updated with progress! Yes, what are you going to call her?

I am 2ww symptom spotting like crazy but in all honesty there is nothing. My hand has had a carpal tunnel flare up (which I started getting first pregnancy) but I do get that anyway so I don't think I can draw any conclusions. IceQ I think we must be in the same timeframe - I am 7 dpo (if ff is accurate). Keep imagining feelings down below. But at the same time really cannot imagine being pg again - it seems a long way away from where I'm at if that makes any sense.

Hee totally feel for you with the temps thing - I guess it's not over until AF shows up. When is AF due? I have been looking at the example tables on ff and it does seem that there is a huge variety of temps going up and down in the 'pregnant' tables... ?

hello, I am pretending to be the voice of reason and handing out to my lady friends hither who are sad they have no symptoms at 7DPO! Really, ladies?! 7?! Your wee egglets wouldn't have implanted yet :)

Kitten therapy is ace. She is still nameless! She is sleeping now just when I am free to coax her out of her hole, have been busy all morning whining on to my friends about my shite life. Am very embarrassed but they were so kind and have told me to get my arse to the drs and to take my time over the PhD and sod it being submitted later than I thought it would be, and sod any bugger who puts pressure on me. Feel better though stupid for prattling on about my worries. One of these friends is also 30 weeks pg and that was good to 'get over' though really it didn't bother me at all in the end.

I dtd last night for the first time since conceiving my doomed pg. Am very pleased and am sure I am fertile or gearing up to be so that is exciting. Had a faint BFP, but the line was significantly fainter than my one on Friday so think by SUnday I shall def be neg... though who knows. Am encouraged that you ov'ed with still a pos ice, am sure I am gearing up but who knows, am not trying to second guess anything hehe bollocks.

hmmm about temps hee. Is confusing business.

ice is so hard being the 2ww. I don't talk to DH at all about my suspicions, if I did he would think I am completely mad!

cat is up! must go and play :)

Oh I'm so confused. I thought I had the start of AF this morning as I got a tiny speck of blood. I thought it was all over but I have had no more since and this afternoon I have been struck with horrible nausea. wtf is going on with my body?! AF is due tomorrow-ish but it tends to vary b a couple of days. I poas again but it was negative.
Sorry for the self indulgent vent, just needed to get it all out

wild I know I know I know. It is just so hard not to analyse every twinge. It is ridiculous and totally self indulgent. I have just got quite a bit of work done so have been indulging, but [slaps self]. congrats on dtd - it's good to feel you are back in the game (as it were...!) Glad you have buddies to talk to - don't feel bad, that's what they are for, and I'm sure you've been there for them on other occasions.

Hee poor you - it's such a rollercoaster isn't it? Just try and relax about it today if you can, then tomorrow if nothing has happened maybe do a test again. Or set a date for the next test, to be maybe wednesday and try not to think about it until then? (rich coming from me, I know). All I know is that the one time I had the longest cycle ever I was convinced I had loads of symptoms, like metal taste in mouth, bloating, nausea, and my period just came about 5 days late. Equally I have been pg and not even realised. So what that proves I've no idea. Sorry I am probably not helping. Distraction techniques?

Hee sorry your temp dropped again. It's really hard to know if temping helps or not, isn't it? I started temping this morning, and will continue with it I think. I'm trying to think of it as more knowing what's going on with my body rather than as a ttc tool, but I think I'm kidding myself. I think I would wait a couple more days before testing again if I was you, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Boo The last pg was a surprise (genuine surprise, not a secret ttc) and he didn't react well to start with. But he came round to the idea, so I'm sure he can do that again if we had another 'surprise'. I don't really think it's fair though, a baby should be a joint decision not one person railroading the other into it. But then I think why should he be the one to make the decision? If one of us has to be disappointed with the way it turns out why does it have to be me?

wild congrats on dtd. Kitten therapy sounds great. I might have to work on dp to get a kitten, but I think he'd rather have a puppy which we couldn't do as we both work full time and it's not fair on a dog.

hee - this waiting is hideous. But at this stage I think a test would only really show first thing in the morning? Don't know.

wild - thanks for the slap earlier!

daisy how you today?

jo - don't go for puppy - we have a 6mth old terrier who is driving me crazy and costing me a fortune in trainers... To my knowledge cats don't eat trainers

My voice is hoarse from shouting remonstrating with DS1-3. Could really do with a but won't coz on the 2ww. Grrrrrrrr. Will have to finish off their food instead just incase I need to be eating for two.

wooooo wilde! [dtd happy dance]

have forgotten what I was going to say now...!

hehe yep, am back on the (definitely metaphorical) dtd horsey . Is fantabulous.

Hmmf hee. Def only test in the morning at this stage but it sounds like the mc's are messing with our AFs and heads :( Not self absorbed at all, we completely understand how hard it is to deal with all this. Am just dying to get preggo again now so the 2ww and wtf month AF will be a total nightmare I can tell already.

boo am a total hypocrite as I start symptom spotting from the off too :)

ice my DS is firmly in the terrible twos camp today. grrrr, where is DH so I can sit back and tune out?!

Better get on with bedtime...

AF has arrived :(

Lots of tonight.

boooooooooooooooooooooooo hee. sorry to hear that :( cheers

oh no. sorry to hear that too.

Sorry Hee :(

Bad news hee, enjoy that wine and look forward to lots of lovely shagging next month :) January babies are overrated anyway - February is where it's at! hopes jan born dd not reading this

CD1 :)

so that made it 38 days counting the day I miscarried as cd1.

Thanks ladies. I had 3 lovely glasses of wine last night which was nice and am now ready to face month 2 of trying.
Daisy I agree - bring on the February babies :)

I got pregnant with Widget around Valetnine's Day this year so it would be around then for edds which would be a bittersweet thing but not going to complain if that's what happens obviously!

i think a feb birth would be quite fitting :)

Can you wise ladies help me please? How did you guys know if/when you ov'ed in the first cycle ost-mc (natural signs, OPKs, didn't know) and was that cycle normal or longer/shorter than usual for you?

Am sure I must be ov'ing today as all the signs have pointed to it, CM dry up today and cervix harder and more closed. And i had slight AF like pains on and off in past two days which i get around ov. Am excited that I might be ov'ing and have dtd (accidently) at the rightish time, which gives me a ticket to a shiny new 2ww :) However, that would mean this post-mc cycle was the same as my normal cycles (32/33 days) AND I still have faint BFP. An OPK showed a decent line but not positive which could show a LH surge on the way down (or it is showing HCG?!) So.... am I being too optimistic or is it a case of anything goes?! My reason says everything points to it, see how the signs are tomorrow and if they have gone then must have been ov... but my heart says 'Ha! Like it could be that simple'.

Am not working today. Whatever I am like, whatever I do, I feel blue. Work stress plus mc plus shit arse crap family crap twats makes for a stressed out Wilde it seems. Drs tomorrow morning.

laters!

I had ewcm two weeks after mc but I don't know if that was nec an ov thing or a hormones buggering off thing or what as it has taken another 3.5 weeks almost for AF to come (assuming I wasn't pg and had a chemical which is a vague possibility I think)

Your opk could indeed be showing HCG, I think until you get a BFN then maybe it's wasting money to keep opking? Someone else might know more though :)

How's kitty?

Thanks for sharing daisy. Doubt it was a chemical chuck, just a wierd'un. Have you seen on another thread where someone felt really pg after a mc too, but it was just hormones cause she got her AF like normal? I thought I was pg when I cut down BFing significantly, was so sick, boobs so sore, dizzy, AF pain. Swore blind i was, told DH and everything (honeymoon baby) but it was just hormones readjusting themselves (and a 49 day cycle that one, what a headfuck, was convinced I was pg and testing all over the shop).

arf I have loads of IC OPKS, just thought I would give it a go :)

Kit is ace thanks! she is clearly crackers and is coming out of her shell a treat. made me jump by sneaking into the sitting room and meowing at me and is now under the settee but still, in the sitting room so am impressed. eating etc well now and seems much, much more settled. Am most proud of her, she is gutsy :) However, DH is getting allergic :( This worries me a LOT.

oh no!

leave the bastard

wild dh needs daily antihistimines, otherwise leave the bastard

so glad you agree with me haha

ha ha ha! Made me laugh out loud!!

wilde - yes I believe I ov'd in WTF cycle roughly 16 days after I began bleeding/clotting consistently, but because it took 10 days of said bleeding etc to actually complete the mc I'm not sure. I had a scan 10/4 and reckon I ov'd on the 113 or 14/4, judging by EWCM. I was very surprised to see it, as I was still registering +ive on HPTs. Indeed did a POAS on 16/4 and it was +ive still!!! Af arrived 23/4. Not sure if that info helps or not, but I was bloody confused at the time!!