After m/c - the [wine] and [shagging] thread

[FoofFighter]

Funthatisfunny, booboomonster, madeinchinababy - anyone else who's recently had a BFP sadly followed by a miscarriage - welcome [busmile]

Me - got a shock BFP on 5th March, had early scan at 9 weeks (after I talked to midwife about feeling something was wrong, lost symptoms) on Friday 6th April showing baby had died around 6-7 weeks. Our little Widget left me on Saturday 7th April thread here

I have been wonderfully supported here on Mumsnet but especially by the above people who are sadly going through the same thing right now or waiting to, very special people to be thinking of others at such a sad time for them and their partners.

Although the baby was unplanned and completely unexpected, we want to try. And time is against us as I am 39 in June. So here we are. I'm not sure if we'll wait a period of time or just see what happens but having had secondary infertilty with my now ex husband for 5+years I do NOT want to get het up on BBT, CM checking, OPKS.

So in talking with the lovely ladies we decided that other threads were quite well established and to start a new one based mostly on alcohol and sex

Anyone is welcome, just jump right in :)

Just found this link www.babyexpert.com/get-pregnant/conceiving/vitamins-boost-fertility-and-conception - so am going to carry on taking my Pregnacare and extra folic acid (BMI is 36) and extra Vit D (not prescribed, just taking as have been as near as dammit housebound for a year with a back problem so probably not a bad idea - plus other countries advise much higher doses than the UK does).

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people on MN really are so frigging thick and ignorant it really astounds me but shouldn't Just had to vent before I post something that'll get me a telling off!!

Just been and bought a big rainbow coloured windmill to put in the pot with Widget's rosebush :) We'll get it when we have outside space to put it in, it's better off at the IL's for now.

So, I really hope you're doing ok x

Is it any particular posters foof? Or just a general rant? There are thick and ignorant people everywhere, I work with an astounding number of them (and not all of them are the kids ).

Just a thread I was on, doesn't matter :)

FINALLY! Stopped bleeding/spotting/pinky mucusing! (well I say this, you watch the next time I go to the loo it'll have started again!

So judging by what I have read online should be getting first AF in about 18-20 days time?

Glad the bleeding stopped foof it's such a relief isn't it?! I felt likeicouldnt venture far from home or a loo! Started to feel mire positive & myself once it was over! Fingers crossed you're all finished with the physical side. I was told at least 4-6 weeks for period to return & that it could be as long as 8 weeks but they recommend getting checked out if nothing after 6 weeks xxxx

I spoke too soon spotting again!

This is Foof, had a wee namechange - wonder if anyone "gets it"!

I don't get it DMJE. Maybe I'm too young? Or maybe my brain just isn't working properly.
I stopped bleeding a week past Saturday, so only bled 6 days after mc (10 days in total)

so how are you? I hope today wasn't too miserable for you, I've been thinking of you.

I was feeling pretty ok this morning, but not so much again now. It appears my mc is common knowledge amongst the staff at school, which I didn't realise. I knew that my department were aware of it, cos they all knew I was pg (most had guessed by my incredibly early bump) so I told my hod he could tell them. What I didn't realise was that teachers, TAs and Admin staff all over the school know about it, I didn't want EVERYONE to know, there are over 100 staff at my school. I only found out because one of the Tech teachers came and spoke to me at lunchtime, she said how sorry she was and shared her story of mc years ago, and told me how wonderful and resilient I am for being back at work so soon etc. That's all very nice and supportive, but I don't know this woman! We obviously know who each other is as we work in the same place, but I've spoken to her about 3 times in the 6 years I've worked here. I don't want to be discussing this with her, even though she was being so nice. So that made me miserable, knowing that everyone is feeling sorry for me when I just want to move on now. I just hope it hasn't spread to the kids cos I really don't want them to feel sorry for me.

I don't 'get it' either, can I claim to be too young as well ( even though I'm not too young for anything anymore!) I am intrigued!!

Hope today Has been ok so.

I have eaten my own body weight in dairy milk today to celebrate losing one measly pound since starting my health kick. Long may it continue!!!

Hope everyone has nice plans for the weekend...

Ps....cant believe everyone you work with knows your business jo, my school kept it all hush hush, my absence was recorded as stomach cramps even though my sick note said gynacalogical procedure. I can see that you wouldn't feel comfortable with them all knowing.

It's off that annoying MAggi so crispy chicken advert.

Just waiting for news from So.... hope she's ok

Good evening ladies. I have just started a lovely glass of after a horrible day at work. I'm so glad it's the weekend.

I love the rosebush ideas that some of you have done. I planted an apple tree just after everything happened as sometime to be optimistic about. Hopefully one day in the future my DCs will pick the apples from it :)

foof/daisy I didn't have 20 days between end of bleeding and AF. I think it was about 10 in the end.

jodidi It must be odd with everyone knowing at work. A few people know at mine but I don't think anyone else noticed I was off. Just the kind of office it is. The couple of people that did know had stories of their own to share too.

I hope so is ok.

Hey ladies! it is me, so :)

I am not so very fed up any more, but shouting 'let the wild rumpus start!' (a la max from where the wild things are bien sur :))

had a fine day considering, all went better than I could have hoped. Tho now DH is here and I have a glass of , am completely shattered and will drink this wine and smoke a dirty, dirty fag and welcome in the future in a state of knackered disgrace.

till tomorrow, and thank you for your thoughts, I am touched :)

xx

:) never known anyone namechange as much as you but this time am very glad you have :) enjoy that wine and fag, you frigging well deserve it x

heehee sorry i forgot to say welcome to you! It was something I read that said it will happen 20 days ish after bleeding finally stops. And it started again anyway grrr 3 weeks tomorrow, did anyone bleed/spot this long?

Just a quick one to say that I'm still here and checking in, still spotting, really thought it was over. fs. And I put my back out with some over exuberant hoovering, and, and, and... just being in a crappy space. But keepig an eye on how things are developing here! .

[beer]

Enjoy your wine and fag WR and let the rumpus begin. I'm glad it went better than you thought.

Chuckle I don't know how it got out. I can only think that someone in my department has talked about it, or possibly this woman asked someone because her son is in my form. But by the time I came home 3 different people had told me how sorry they are and asked how I'm doing, so it's obviously staffroom gossip now :(

DMJE I'm sure it will be fine and your spotting will possibly just run into your first af. I've never read that about 20 days between bleeding stopping and next af, but then again I've not read that much about the subject.

Hee I'm sure your future DCs will enjoy the apples from your tree. I fancied a fruit tree but we don't have a big enough space for one so ended up with a rose bush as it's small enough for the flower bed. Enjoy your and have a lovely weekend.

Jodidi I had the same thing happen at our local, a few people knew that we were pregnant (obv cannot hide drinking lots of one week and then soda and lime the next for 5 weeks!!) but next time I went in past after we lost Widget EVERYBODY knew, lots of sympathetic looks and pats on the shoulder and hugs and it's for the best's

And I know it means they care but still, I felt like I was on display and that everybody must be whispering and pointing and it didn't feel nice, or supportive. I went home.

I'm sure it does mean they care, but yes I really do feel like I'm on display. It's like everyone is watching to see if/when I'll fall apart. I've never really been the focus of gossip (however well meaning) before and I don't know how to handle it.

jodidi - I know what you mean about not wanting everyone's sympathy. I have sometimes regretted not telling anyone at work, but I didn't because a colleague had had a MC a few months before and I was told about it quite casually by another person. I didn't want that happening to me. It's terrible that everyone knows, but I suppose the only consolation is that people will forget about it quickly, once the next bit of news comes along. Also, there are probably some other people going through the same thing who might feel comforted? It's crap though.

foof / daisymaisy which threads were annoying you? I hope you weren't looking on the preg / antenatal ones again, I don't think it's a good idea! At least, it makes me depressed. Your experience at your local must have been rubbish. I cannot bear the idea of people talking about me. Also my Dad died a year ago so I do rather feel like people have been feeling sorry for me for long enough. Downside is that I've told no one so sometimes can get some insensitive comments.

wild Glad you are feeling wild... Hope this means you are near the end & at the start of a new epoch.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I've had nothing from the OPKS (despite doing one at work today, sitting in the disabled loo for 5 minutes to see the result. But might just indulge in a bit of traditional and shagging, to keep up the thread theme!

No it was a couple in the mc board very surprisingly!! I think opks aren't all that helpful at the best of times and def not right after a mc but to each their own! Not dtd all week and getting antsy now am having a bottle of beer, making it last me the whole evening! Woo last of the party harders...
happy shagging booboo!

Wrigle, chin up x

That is surprising, it's normally very supportive in there. Was it the fb announcement thread that annoyed you? I notice there is one post that's been deleted. (I sincerely hope it wasn't me that posted something insensitive by accident)

oooh foof daisy are you sure you don't know anyone to namechange as much as me?! Which threads were bugging you? tell, tell! I'm not sure how much longer I'll be around the mc boards... will have a shufty today but at some point it will be time to say goodbye.

yesterday was just fine, not much bleeding, passed the sac simply in one go, cramping was awful but managed with normal painkillers and a LOT of rocking on my feet like early labour - my thighs are sore today! i literally rocked from foot to foot for about four hours! Went in at 10, came home at 7, was fed and watered, had one of the best cups of tea of my life (just so bloody grateful for it!) and was just very fortunate. I got a sneaky peek at my notes and it was very reassuring to keep reading that there was NO baby, nothing, nada, no yolk sac present, no fetal pole = anembryonic pregnancy.

DH and I had our boozy last night and both confessed our relief and almost jubilant moods at this being the end of a terrible terrible month. We are both really looking forward to future pregnancies but know we will never forget the baby that never was.

I am delighted at not feeling pregnant and other than feeling quite weary (probably from doing housework all morning?!) I just have a heavy AF. hurrah for a good ending to the shittest of shit times :)

enough about me. jo I really feel for you - how bloody awful that every bugger knows :( I feel bad anough that everyone of DHs friends and relatives knows (and i have to face them all and THOSE pitying looks) next weekend but colleagues? Heck. if anyone said it was for the best to me I would punch them in the nose! (well I wouldn't I would just harrumph behind their back of course).

Thanks for your support during this shite time guys, really appreciate you all x

That was one of them yes Jodidi.

Widerumpus I do not nc as much as you :p

To your future

wild i'm so pleased yesterday went 'well'! Hurrah for a the 'best' possible ending to such a shitty experience. I had the same situation as you regarding no baby, no fetal pole, no yolk sac. For me too that made it easier to process and move on.

I too am also not really reading the mc threads, I check in on them to see if I can be supportive to any newbies or help in any way.
All is ok here. Have resisted poas again!! Going to do another clear blue digi next wed to see if numbers gone from 1-2, to 2-3. I know it may not be very helpful but I feel it will reassure me for another week.
I feel abit nervous about it all today. Haven't felt nauseous or anything. The past few day I thought my symptoms were slowly increasing but today nothing :( well except tired but not pg tired. I'm reassuring myself it's still early days and symptoms with ds didnt kick in until 6 weeks (but that's what I told myself last time too :s

This pg straight after mc is a mixed bag of emotions. Good In lots of ways for me but the worry doesn't go (but then it wouldn't if it had taken 6 mths I guess). The fear is ever present but I'm repressing it pretty successfully!.......... So far! The way I'm dealing with it is to not think about it, no pg books or anything of related until after 12 week scan . I'm just carryingon with life but doing all the 'right things' (no booze, no soft cheese, early nights etc) and putting it out my head. Even a bit scared to say it out loud. Have told my mum & 1 very close & supportive friend. Eeeek!!!

Oh & you girls!!! ;p

I'm hoping some of you will be joining me soon xxxxx