After m/c - the [wine] and [shagging] thread

[FoofFighter]

Funthatisfunny, booboomonster, madeinchinababy - anyone else who's recently had a BFP sadly followed by a miscarriage - welcome [busmile]

Me - got a shock BFP on 5th March, had early scan at 9 weeks (after I talked to midwife about feeling something was wrong, lost symptoms) on Friday 6th April showing baby had died around 6-7 weeks. Our little Widget left me on Saturday 7th April thread here

I have been wonderfully supported here on Mumsnet but especially by the above people who are sadly going through the same thing right now or waiting to, very special people to be thinking of others at such a sad time for them and their partners.

Although the baby was unplanned and completely unexpected, we want to try. And time is against us as I am 39 in June. So here we are. I'm not sure if we'll wait a period of time or just see what happens but having had secondary infertilty with my now ex husband for 5+years I do NOT want to get het up on BBT, CM checking, OPKS.

So in talking with the lovely ladies we decided that other threads were quite well established and to start a new one based mostly on alcohol and sex

Anyone is welcome, just jump right in :)

Just found this link www.babyexpert.com/get-pregnant/conceiving/vitamins-boost-fertility-and-conception - so am going to carry on taking my Pregnacare and extra folic acid (BMI is 36) and extra Vit D (not prescribed, just taking as have been as near as dammit housebound for a year with a back problem so probably not a bad idea - plus other countries advise much higher doses than the UK does).

Sorry you are having a difficult day jo - I hope you manage to sort something out that you are happy with. I have a year 10 class that I am not taking into year 11 and was livid when our timetable came out but was pregnant so couldnt really kick off about it. I was in hospital the day after being scanned and found out about the mmc. I spoke to school about it last week but dont know if it can be changed or not. I feel like not teaching that class next year will remind me every day that I am not supposed to be there.

so - thinking of you today and hoping things go as well as they can.

Hope everyone else is having a lovely Monday. I am feeling chirpier knowing I am not the only one on here gaining the odd pound here and there so am off to celebrate with a and a choccie biccie

jo - how miserable for you. Timetabling and classes can be depressing at the best of times, but this timing isn't great. You never know how things work out - maybe the ICT will be a positive thing?

AF arriving this morning! Am quietly pleased as it confirms that I did ovulate when I thought (about 13 days ago which was 2 days after I stopped bleeding) and maybe my body is getting back to normal. So 2 weeks of wine, proper coffee etc and then time to join jo in sabotaging the condoms...

chuckle - might join you for that and if you don't mind? Mine won't be choccie - blooming kids have scoffed them all this morning whilst building a bug hotel. (Yes, my DS1 & 2 are STILL on school holidays...countdown to Thursday well and truly begun.)

Thanks Chuckle and Ice. Now I've had time to calm down a bit from the conversation about timetabling I'm starting to think of it a bit more positively. I've had 2 years of complete and utter shit challenging classes after coming back from mat leave with dd2 (I wasn't there to fight my case when the timetable was given out), and this can only be a positive move. I spoke to my HoD, who said there is only one class he is planning on taking off me but I just won't be given any year 7 or 8 next year to replace the year 11s. He's taking my hideous year 10 group and giving them to the scariest male teacher we have, so actually I'm keeping all my nice classes (all one of them!).

Any biccies to share Chuckle? I've stopped being so depressed I can't eat and now quite fancy joining people with the comfort eating for a week or so before I really try the health kick.

Ice that's a very long holiday isn't it? 3 weeks off at Easter sounds like bliss to me (normally, not if they are all like this one was) but I can understand why parents who aren't teachers would find it difficult. Any thoughts on how we can sabotage the condoms without it being obvious? stick needles in them? Condoms aren't 100% effective anyway, dd1 is proof of that (and I was on the pill at the time too so she was a definite miracle baby)

Has anyone used Preseed lubricant (or any other sperm friendly one)?

Oh yes and I think I could be ovulating, am definitely umm.. wetter...! Day 17 after miscarriage, I normally ov a few days later than the normal 14...

Hi girls, so I have been thinking about you. I hope all goes as well as these things can. Hugs.

That is crappie timing jo I have also found that head at school is quick to forget although I think she had me lined up for year 6 nxt year & hoping she'll change her mind now she knows we are ttc!

Sooooooooo after a long day at work I really fancied a glass of wine but when I got in I thought, I'll just do that pg test first.......... BFP?!?! 4 weeks to day since m/c. Hubbie thrilled. Me = terrified of it happening again. :( what should I do know? Dr? Wait?

Mixed emotions xxx

Wow! Certain it's not left over hcg?

So? where are you, how's it going?

ice sorry about the battle you're having whether you'll try again. Fx it works out in your favour.

Foof, I've read about preseed on other threads, if you're going to try it I would be curious to know how it goes.

Cake REALLY!!!! Did I misread? Did you get a BFP!!!??? I hope so, aside from my good wishes for you I NEED to see this happening. Please keep us updated.

And for me... I am over indulging in a bottle of red. Feel my whole life now is of a woman who was pregnant, carried a dead baby, passed "it" on Mother's day, bled for 45 fucking days, and is now desperate and depressed. FS. Cake, I am so hopeful for you, I need a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. And I 've got the f**king hiccoughs, always a bit of comedy in amongst the lows!

And have re-read, what should you do now Cake? Retest at appropriate times, get a GP appt, and look after yourself, it's a precious time. FXFXFXFXFXFXFX!!!!

yo yo you ladies have been chatting away in my absence!

foo so sorry about your friend's fb pic - bah. I just think about how next time I announce I am preggo (not in a smug way though, oh no) friends might think 'oh, there she goes, super fertile myrtle' and not know about my actual journey and so i think this of other people too. Some people tho are too awful to bear but I am damned picky and unpopular fortunate that such people are not my friends!

jo oh no, your scan day :( How awful. have some Erm... Is ICT like maths? If you need to take time for yourself Jo, please, please do. you need to lopk aftet yourself chuck and then you can look after the others better. you will know when you have turned a corner, you really will.

YAY for ovulations and AFs! Yaya for working bodies and super dooper eggs and fertilitee :) Well done you fine fillies.

SHIT really, BFP cake?! Oh how marvellous! Really?! :) :) :)

You've got to have a bit of comedy between the lows wriggle, it's what keeps you going isn't it??

Fab news cake!!! You must keep us informed (so that we will all know how much worrying is acceptable when it's our turn!). Seriously though, have you had a BFN since mc? If so get your backside to the docs, can you ask for an early scan??

jo is the HoD for ICT any good? If so it might be worth going over to the dark side, our ICT teachers rave about how their lessons are pretty much done for them by the HOD.

Ooh x post, good to see you so

so, you scrupiously avoided saying how you are... (hicough)...

foof I had a bfn 2.5 weeks ago so no I think this is brand spanking new. Eek!

wrigle you didn't misread it was a BFP!!! Stunned to be honest. Will def keep you up to date. I just hope it all goes ok. Not sure I could do all that again. Not sure what to do now???? Dr??? Leave it a while? Might get a digi test so I can hopefully watch the numbers go up!

I'm sorry you are feeling so shit. Are you still bleeding? Enjoy your wine xx

Thought I would break up the posts!

Today was a fine day, thanks for your concerns ladies, you are so lovely, thank you. the EPAU was quiet (yay); we had a babysitter for DS so could be together and supportive instead of stopping DS climbing the walls; the scan was simple and the scan lady was NOT a trainee (yay) so did it quickly and NOT with dildocam! (thrice hurray). agreed most definitely no baby but I was totally prepared and really fine about it. no tears or anything, just fine.

Then saw dr and I can't go on for weeks and weeks waiting to mc so am going to start the tablet route on Wednesday. Am quite worried about having to mc in a ward but the whole thing would be shit wherever and whatever and at least I can sort of 'leave' the experience behind and come home to a clean bath and bed :) Any advices ladies on what top expect - am thinking i will mc crouched over a paper bowl behind a curtain. true or false?!

I am relieved, so relieved that finally something is being done and I can look into the future, even went for a run tonight to shift my preggo flab (I can't stop being facking hungry so have put on weight and am too tired to cook healthy food :( Silly me)

Am borrowing a lovely dress for the wedding next weekend, am going to go, and going to get drunk and laugh and celebrate love, life and happiness.

I have planted a little sunflower we grew from seed a few weeks ago and I am ridiculously fussy over it, like a mother hen, so guess that is my rosebush though i still can't cuddle it ;0)

ESSAY! eek! x

really cake that is sooo exciting! Our first graduate! Congratulations! will you keep us posted, perlease? wowsers i would LOVE to get pg that fast! x

This description of my MC is quite graphic so don't read it or just glance through it if you're still upset about recent events. It's to help Soveryfedup know what to expect.

After I took the miropristol I started having very mild contractions then I felt this 'heaviness' down below like needing to go to the toilet urgently. I got one of those cardboard kidney-shaped things they give you for a urine sample and just passed everything into that. The actual event itself was pain free and the 'products' didn't really look like much, a white blob and some red stuff. It took about three hours from taking the tablet to the end although my waters had broken the day before so I would probably have MCd by myself before long. Then the doctor took me into a room to have a look internally with the dildocam and she removed a clot at the same time that would have caused bleeding later, again totally pain-free. Then I was sent home and advised to use nighttime towels until the bleeding stopped. There was a bit of pain and bleeding and crying for the next few days so I got some codeine over the counter to help with the pain. The bleeding stopped after a few days, four or five I think and I had my next period about a month later.

thanks stuntnun, that means a lot. I just so hope that it is over in the space of an afternoon - that seems crackers to me as I have been mentally preparing for a natural mc that would last a couple of days.

It is great to know that I might get a feeling of when I will pass something 'proper' for the peeps (bleugh). The worst thing would be scrabbling round an NHS public bog for my, ahem, stuff. That could be quite mentally scarring in several ways.

Am dreading it, totally dreading it, but the fact I can be home for bedtime (hopefully) and that nurses will be able to dose me up if necessary will make it ok. It is just a few hours of horrorshow shite, then home to rest and it's the weekend... with DH super fussing over me. I do not intend to do a single thing on Saturday :) I expect to be sad, but also hope it marks a way into the future, having been dealing with my mc for three weeks now already I am ready, I think, to move on.

so I'm glad today was "fine" and that you are relieved to e able to slowly move on and get the process started. I will def keep you posted. It's all a bit to good to be true to be honest. I'm staying put here, I'm frightened it will happen again. I'll need you ladies no matter what, you are a great support. Stay positive, enjoy the wedding & booze. I found once the mc was 'done' and bleeding stopped I felt MUCH better!

I will keep u posted xxxx

cake, that is good to hear, I really hope I don't plunge downhill after the mc, but can move on. I do feel that i have turned a corner these past few days. Going for a run was a BIG change.

Can see why you are nervous, do stick around we will hold your hand! and feel free to talk about all your pg experience won't you?! is only the smug bumps (smumps?!) that do my particular box in :)

wow, it's only been a couple of hours since i last looked and there's LOADS to catch up on.

cake that is fantastic news!!! I'm keeping everything crossed for you that it all goes well for you this time. It's completely natural to be worried about it happening again, but the odds are in your favour.

so I'm glad today was ok. I hope Wed is better than you expect too. Mine was an afternoon of blood but was then fine, no more than a period really. It will probably be good that you can leave the experience behind in the hospital, I hate going to the bathroom now as that's where it all happened for me :( I think you will probably be able to move on once it's finished, as you've done (a lot of) the shock and grief process already. Look forward to the wedding and enjoy the booze.

wrigle you sound very fed up today, hope you feel better soon. Enjoy your and have some chocolate too. One day at a time. People keep telling me it gets easier but I'm not there yet so I'm not quite convinced.

Foof we used preseed when ttc dd2. Only used it a couple of times before i fell pg. Not sure if the lubricant did the trick or if it was all the other stuff I did all at the same time (healthy eating, exercise, reflexology, vitamins, vitamins for dp, anything else anybody suggested might have an effect).

chellie I think I'm coming round to the dark side and am starting to think I might enjoy doing something different for a while. I think the sow for ICT (computers, for so) is quite detailed so i won't need to do too much planning, and I would only see each class once a week, so I could end up with 3 year 7 classes and could use the same lesson plan for each.

arf today has been HORRID! i am sooo glad to be home! I made the terrible mistake of going to a toddler group to see a couple of friends, one of whom is just starting her third trimester...

i am really happy for her but was a bit put out and shitty today largely because her toddler son is a right nightmare, throwing balls at my face then snatching stuff from my DS while i have to parent him cause she is chatting away... it gets on my nerves! (i am very tired today btw, context for the irrational rant!) And then all her friends (she is a SAHM so knows the toddler group circuit mums well) are chatting about her baby to their DCs and saying 'the baby gets food through the tummy button' bla bla and all this, against the general hideous cacaphony of the toddler group and being knocked into by little snotty people has utterly ruined me . nearly had a breakdown in co-op and came home with loads of crisps and biscuits to soothe my soul. bad rabbit. had to explain my mc situation to another friend at full volume over general ruckus and am completely spent.

I realise that I am FINE as long as I am at home and can control my enviroment. I also felt weird and didn't want to join group conversations because i just feel like a weepy ghost that really shouldn't have come to the party. So I am home now, will be all day and no-one can make me talk shit about shit and laugh about shit. I love being at HOME.

Oh for some ! bloody grief, chuh.

More big squishy hugs coming your way So. As for just bloody have some! (well maybe wait till tonight and don't get steamed but...)

wish I could foof. DH will think am problem drinking! Will wait till next weekend :)

I will go for a run then eat chocolate! I can't sleep anyway so sod the caffiene. Am wild and crazy me!