Mums of angels! wishing, carrying and holding rainbows.

[fanjodisfunction]

May this thread bring us luck and lots of support through the journey of life after the death of our little ones.

wtw hugs. You are not leaving Erin behind at all, she is always there and she would understand that her little sister needs a little bit of attention, that does not detract away from Erin at all. She will always be your baby that will never change, part of her is in everyone of you children and in you and your DH.

whatever I know what you mean about moving away from the child you have lost. I have that feeling of guilt as well but in my moments of clarity I know that I can't do anything to get Jude back. If I could, I would. Doing what we're doing now and carrying on with our "new" life is the only option.

I agree with fan our children will always be with us.

Someone on the Compassionate Friends Forum recently said that she read that some of the cells of a child stay in the mother for lots of years after they are born. I feel that part of Jude is still inside me and I know that his memory is still in my heart.

whatever for me, I don't think the feeling of conflict will go away. I have a conflict of love and pain whenever I think of Mia. And I don't know yet how to feel about this pg yet, because I am too scared to think about it properly. But I am sure that the love that is growing for your new baby doesn't diminish the love you feel for Erin, or for Katie, for that matter. It doesn't take away your grief either - your feelings for each of your children is separate and unique. Your heart will expand as your tummy does.

The midwife yesterday was truly lovely. She was so warm and understanding, and apparently the GP had spoken with her before she even spoke to me about making the visit. So I really appreciated that.

fan are you also using a basal body thermometer? I found this to be really useful alongside the OPKs.

miasmum I may give that a go if the next couple of months doesn't get me pg.

I've lost a bit more weight, 3 more lbs and it will be a stone and a half. Well excited about that.

fan well done on the weight loss! A stone is impressive. As for the thermometer, you can buy them on amazon for about £5. It is super-useful in pinpointing when you ovulate - I also found the FertilityFriend website very useful to help me figure out more about my cycle. Heaps of free advice.

fan if you do start charting, make sure you don't get stressed about it that's what I did. Because you need to be very punctual and do it at the same time every morning without having moved about too much. Didn't help having DD1 and a cat waking me up and not being able to do it. I got my BFP on the second cycle I stopped charting

Good advice blue.

Fan well done xxx going to get weighed tonight don t feel like I ve lost any though... We ll see!!!
Hi all; love to all xxx

0.5 lb on!!! However , this week I ve had 2 large bars of chocolate, cider, & gone over my syns most days!!!!
Back to it!!! Also I was wearing my jeans which I never, ever do!!! So that ll account for it!!!

angel the jeans were deffinilty the problem. lol.well done anyway thats pretty good considering going over your sins.

Im not doing to bad I have been going over but then I have days where I have no syns at all, so I think thats where Im winning at the moment. Today is a no syns day. Tomorrow DH and I are off to Salisbury for a day out, hes never been, so taking him to see (drive past Stonehenge) to the catherdral, Old Sarum castle and then up to Avebury to touch the stones in the giant stone circle and have a drink in the pub in the middle. (he doesnt know that avebury is a fertility meca and the stone circle there is supposed to help, with its female and male stones. Lol, its worth a go.

Just taken Peanut the rat to the vets, hes been leanign his head to one side, hopefully its just an ear infection (been given anti-bio's for him) if not it could be something more serious like a brain tumor. Fingers crossed he gets better soon, as hes the more lively rat and like cuddles and things Biscuit is a bit shy and doesnt really like attention.

blue and miasmum thanks for the heads up on the temping, I will see how it goes. These pregnacare vits Im taking have made my pee turn bright yellow! I do feel really good today though, hoping that means ov is just round the corner. Im not sure really when its coming because of the miscarriage, but opk have been out for the past two days and not a faint line to be seen, and cm is still low, hoping I havent missed it. Do you think you can ov during a miscarriage?

Ooh I love Salisbury Fan sounds like a lovely day out - hope the rain stays away. If you are looming for somewhere for lunch and like Indian food there is the best restaurant called Anokka on Fisherton Street. It is out of this world - Indian fusion food. Delicious.

0.5lb on def sounds like a maintain if you weren't wearing jeans Angel

Your weight losses are inspiring both of you - I can't seem to stop eating at the moment and could really do without putting any more weight on!

Off to the hospital tomorrow for an appt with the consultant. Not too sure what to expect at the appt. Maybe just like a m/w appt I guess?

Orion I missed your post the other day. How bloody scary for you. So pleased all is well. Now I can feel regular movements I'm literally obsessed with them - poor baby is not allowed to sleep I get too panicky!! Keep having to tell myself quiet periods are normal.

How you doing Mias and Blue?

Are you all settled in to the new house August? how are you feeling? How many weeks are you now - 25/26? x

Any more news on your house move Split?

Waves to all - let's hope this rubbishy weather is turning. Off to center parcs in 2 weeks so some sunshine would be very welcome!

hello all! Went to our scan today, saw a little bean, a sac and most importantly - a heartbeat. Am 8+1, and the baby is right on target for measurements And then the sonographer turned on the sound and we heard it too. Both DH and I cried. I had been so scared. Guess I will be scared again tomorrow, but today, a sense of relief.

whatever how was your consultant appointment today?

angel jeans are well known to be extra heavy, you are supposed to kick them off if you ever fall into the sea... just thought I'd throw in that handy hint.

fan how was Salisbury? Did you go to Stonehenge? That is possibly the coldest place in the UK, imho, let alone during this sort of weather.

As for your cycle, I am no expert, but your body will still be adapting to all the recent changes, and it might take an extra couple of weeks for you to get back to normal. As you probably know, the big indicator that your body is getting ready to ov is the change in your cervical fluid as well as the positive OPK. And then the confirming factor that have actually ov'd is your temperature suddenly goes up - but by then, it is often too late to SWI, which is why it is good to understand your cycle to assess when you are most likely to ov the next time around. Think I have been a bit crap in explaining this, but the Fertility Friend site is much clearer...

How is everyone?

Fab news Miasmum xxx it's lovely to see & hear Ian t it? Excellant ... Xx
Remember that feeling well a sense of relief for about 20 mins then worry to the next scan for 2 weeks!!! Xxxxx
All fine here just very busy & very tired Phebs cough keeping / disrupting her & our sleep . Woke at 1 this am for a feed as she'd chucked half her last feed up!!!! It's so tiring with work... Would be manageable if I was still off but not so..... Shattered. Com!!!
Come on the weekend & 3 days off!!!
Xxx

miasmum that is good news.

angel I hope Phebs is better soon, and that you get some rest.

Well our day out was great, got to see the Queen and Prince Phillip, we had no clue they were going to be in salisbury yesterday, this meant though that is was impossible to get into the cathedral. But DH got to drive past Stonehenge (lol) and we went to Old Sarum Castle and Avebury where we had a drink in the pub in the middle of the henge. Really good day out.

Still not sure if ov is round the corner or not, just have to wait.

Someone crashed right into the back of my car at the lights on the way home from work. I feel fine and it wasn't high impact but it's set me off crying all evening. I know it's because I'm worried about the baby but it just gets me thinking about the reason that I'm in this position and missing my boy and my old life.
I'm reasoning that I don't have the emotional reserves to deal with anything over and above day to day getting up and on with my new life but I'm also fed up that these emotions creep up without warning and take over.

Sorry for the moan. I'm sure I'll feel better soon.

12 week scan tomorrow, scared, very scared... everyone keeps saying it will be ok!

orion hope you feel better soon, don't worry about the moan, that's what we're here for!

fan glad you had a good day! just have fun shagging DH

angel hope Phebs feels better soon!

orion oh love that is scary that would have shook me up pg or not. Take it easy, your in shock. cheese had a car accident during pg hopefully she'll be along to assure you.

blue good luck tomorrow.

Thanks guys. Good luck tomorrow blue I'm sure it'll be okay. Try to enjoy it (easier said than done I know)

.Orion xxx get off to the hospital if u re concerned. I was in a car accident when 32 weeks pg with Georgie & went in for monitoring. Take care xxx
Blue xxxxx best of luck xxx
Thanks for all your kind wishes re; Phebs. Think she's slowly improving..., slowly....
Very busy at work should have finished at 2 but still there at 4 covering a meeting in lieu of my manager who's off sick....
Night all sleep well ( particularly you miss Phebs!!!) xxx

Ooh good luck for tomorrow Blue I remember the anxiety before the 12 week scan very well. Will be thinking of you xx

Orion how scary for you. Have you been to get checked over?

Sounds like a great day out Fan

My consultants appt went well - she has arranged for me to have fortnightly scans from now on. Was surprised as I thought it would be monthly but definitely not going to argue. Off to collect our new car tomorrow - can't wait, we ordered it 6 months ago!!

wtw your consultant sounds great, and makes me think that next time Im pg I may ring the hospital first and see if they will see me rather than go to the doctors and going through the midwife.

She really is Fan she has such a warm empathy about her. I really feel lucky to have her and know on the day of the section she will make me feel so reassured. It also helps so much that she delivered Erin and totally understands what happened that day. I would really recommend ringing her next time xx

I think I might try something, I just feel Ive had no care what so ever these past few weeks. I did get a letter from my midwife, but I would have thought that she would have rung me, my last midwife did. I guess I will have to contact her in some way and say I dont need her anymore.
I dont know if my miscarriage was put on my notes, Im guessing it was. I just felt like nobody really cared for my well being, I just want to be looked after and not left to feel like a mushroom.
I will be ringing my consultant next time I think, Dr Shaloum, he was really nice during the post mortem, so he should at least talk to me I think and tell me what I can expect or deserve to be given as support from them.

Hi all - some of you may remember me, didnt post much but just needed to share! Monday for a routine scan due to my history to be told I have a pregnancie in a unknown location!
Prepped for surgery had to remove 7 week baby and my tube!
In total shock!!!!!! At home recovering!!!!
Seems just rotten that this happened on the 30th April the day I got my positive last year for the other baby I lost at 12 weeks!
3 losses now! The odds don't look great but I'm holding onto hope for a another try real soon! All my love and prayers to a baby filled future for us all xxxx I have 1 angel, 1 rainbow ,1 star!

count so sorry to hear that, what a shock. I hope you and DH/DP are coping ok?
I have also had three loses now, it doestn get easier does it. Have the doctors told you what the odds are now or if there is any help they can give you?