Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

[MarthasHarbour]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

The standard 'form' of the thread is the first one on in the morning brings the brekkie!

And this will be a very special thread, it is the one where our first 'graduate' gives us our first bambino Go on IQ give us a twirl if-you can be arsed in your full term state

Aw. Isn't it such a bloody shame that I think I've found some of the loveliest women I know online (actually... irl too, if I'm totally honest!) through one of the shittiest things that can happen. Flowers, wine AND chocolate right backatcha, mrsN.

mrsn this link got really good info on Fetal pole length gestational age etc. I've found it pretty useful in the past.
www.americanpregnancy.org/duringpregnancy/concernsearlydevelopment.htm

Basically the info shows if you are more than 8 weeks chances of positive outcome low but if you are in fact 6 weeks there is hope. That is taken from gestational age so date since last lmp.You are having such a shit time again.

kirrin it would appear a scan stops us metalling for about 2-3 days on average but if you are lucky it may last up to 2 weeks. Good luck x

missc 18 plus 2. Get you. I am doing a belly dance on your behalf. And yay to tits and farafell . Check us out being all normal for a bit.

manda we get what you are saying. A miscarriage is shit wherever you have it. we would all like a bit of good care and some good drugs to get us through. Bastards have never given me good drugs though.

I am knackered. This metallic is bloody draining isnt it? X

Mrsn sorry to hear what you are going through.

Do you hAve the option of an erpc? I Find it much more civilised than the situation you describe. I hate the general anaesthetic but other than that there's no pain and not much bleeding ime.

Are you going to be able to get tests or a referral to st marys?

I hAve booked my private appointment with raj rai for mid may. I am a bit excited - which is a big weird but I am hoping for good things.

No.
Ive been to Liverpool specialist reoccuring mc clinic. Last year.

After many many tests and appointments, trying hormone injections asprin & high does FA and STILL miscarrying they told us that they could not help, had no answers nor expalnations for us and that we were likely to continue to mc, they discahrged us.

So we decided to end it there and then, stopped ttc. Im 41, dh is 39.

This has been a surprise.
I have never considered ercp, its just not for me. Medical management is better for me..
Just going to wait for nature to intervene now.

Ah shite, mrsn, more uncertainty is brutal. Obviously I hope that there's some chance of things being OK, but if not I hope matters don't linger on too long. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I was in a gynae ward with another woman having a m/c and an older woman whom I assume was in for some other lady parts issue, I'm beginning to realize how lucky I was. Even if the older lady did insist on watching the sodding X factor at a volume audible to all.

I am so pleased not to have been hospitalised for my MCs given the sound of it. I know I had mini-toe in the hospital but I had labour ward for that and went straight home. Coffee Bean I did at home, the positives that came from her labour were that having done a 18 hour labour at home on my own I had no fear of how I would cope with the pain of having DD at home (and indeed DD was much, much easier - different but certainly not more painful than Coffee Bean) I think I would go crackers on a ward. There should be facilities for things like this :( I am sorry MrsN :(

Reading this has brought a lot of things back to me. From my own experience, I completely agree that mc treatment fails to take into account the mental impact of setting, even when it is performed to a high standard.

I had my first mc in the delivery suite at my hospital. That was their policy, because I was 17 weeks. The nurse wiped ' welcome' of the whiteboard and wheeled the crib out when we entered. I could hear labouring women and fetal heart monitors all around. This was mentally hard to cope with. But, I had my own room, with walls, and a fabulous midwife who was excellent. So in some respects, it was good. Then I had retained products, they made me stay in delivery again, overnight for observation due to the bleeding, and I slept on the birthing bed. It was like some sort of mockery. It has definitely made me dread going into labour there.
And even now, in the EPU waiting room, I kept looking at these young girls sitting with their mums, wondering why they were there. Google told me the clinic is also part of the hospital that deals with abortions.
It is just like mc is not something in its own right, with its own requirements. I can see that it needs to be near the obs and gynae team, but not jumbled in. Or worse, not recognised at all like your situation MrsN.
It is something that I have been feeling increasingly strongly about as time has gone on, and I have been able to process it properly. Miscarriage is so common, and yet it is treated like a tag on. Which is crap, considering the mental health ramifications of it all. And of course it will be shit, no matter where it takes place, but privacy, dignity and context would make it less traumatic.

I feel realy lucky, I opted for surgery with my first mc but my 2nd and even giving birth to Jacob were pain free.

I guess with Jacob because my cervix was failing it opened realy easily. I only needed g&a when having internals as the ab gave me realy bad thrush and having the stitch made me realy sore.

I can't imagen how awful it must be to be in such mental pain and having to deal with physical pain too.

I do agree the way they manage mc can be absolutely shit

jaffa oh my God having to listen to other women labouring & fetal heart monitors is like something out of a horror film. I'm so sorry.

I seem to be really 'lucky' (ha!) in this context as they gave me a private room on the gyne ward. Can not believe MrsN might have to be on a ward- it is an absolutel disgrace that this is acceptable practice.

sorry don't know where that stray l came from!

Yes jaffa I remember swapping our stories before :( I too was constantly surrounded by heartbeats (in maternity assessment bay and then moved to labour ward which seems to throb with the noise of heartbeat monitors - monitors I've actually never been on myself, bizarrely enough, having had either a baby too small or too problem free to need it) But I did have the baby loss room to lounge about in after, but that doesn't have a bed in it, it's like a waiting room.

The worst bit for me was the trying to find the heartbeat with the paddle, then going to get a doppler, then trying with the doppler, then trying again, then going to get a doctor, then going to get a portable scan machine, then going to get a better scan machine, then trying to adjust the machines to see detail of a small baby rather than the big ones they are used to looking at, all whilst laid flat on the bed staring at the ceiling listening to buh bum buh bum heartbeats all around me. And then seeing my baby all crumply and still on the scan with only a curtain round the bed to hide the news and our reaction from everyone else :(

mrsN so sorry things didn't look good would you not try to get managed at LWH in gynae? I'm under the RMU there too (Farquharrsons team) and they have a good management process in place for MCs apparantly nowadays. My first MC was very badly handled there in 2002 but things seem to have drastically changed.

Brilliant news for the other scans

I started spotting slightly earlier but it has stopped completely now so fuck knows what's happening... If AF hasn't started tomorrow morning I'm going to retest and book in to see my GP(again!)

I found the worst thing listening to the baby's crying after they were born, I was on the labour ward for 6 days then the maternity ward for a day then back to the labour ward

Buggeration, I fell asleep last night, felt bloody awful. Just woken up, midwife is due in 1 1/2 hrs and the place looks like a frat party has taken place. The kids are being shooed outside, I'm wondering if I can shut the kitchen and bedroom doors and do a quick whizz around the lounge arse!!!

tits that's what I'd do!

Me too, although I usually do hall and toilet too just to be on the safe side!

All done, midwife is lovely :)

Now I can relax and try and shop for much needed maternity bras and trousers. :)

I fear the maternity bra (should I get that far along this time). Last time around I started out at a B cup, this time I'm starting out as a D. I fear I'm going to end up in something ... industrial looking.

AF arrived Ahhh well... I'm thinking of trying Agnus castus this cycle.... Anyone tried it?

AF is a right bitch.

i havn't tried agnus castus - sounds a bit scary from things i have read. have you tried acupuncture? it's good for regulating cycles. it really helped me after mc as my period didn't return for 12 weeks and acupuncture got me going again!

i think my bleeding has stopped! i will try another pg test at weekend and hopefully will have the bfn then i can start again. i might try accupuncture if af doesn't come back by end of may. she has got 6 weeks to sort herself out!!

Grrr, NoMoreMarbles.

marbles I've taken AC - three seperate times when ttc my last three babies: ds2 took for 2 months, ds3 took for 1 month and again this time for a couple of months). Once we have our birth control sorted for after this baby I would be happy to take it until...well, forever really. It regulates my longer cycles/late O beautifully, improves my PMT (a bit...) skin and stuff.

The stuff I've read about it not working out for other women, I tended to think they didn't really need it in the first place. Their cycles weren't really longer than average, their O was pretty 'average' (or not tracked at all).

Remember: It does NOT contain any hormones in and of itself. The compounds in it act upon your pituitary and hypothalamus to get them working more effectively (and I reiterate - if you cycle is all but fine anyway then you risk them screwing up by taking it!), resulting in lower androgens in your system (again, a problem for those with pcos) and higher progesterone in the second half of your cycle.

I have pcos, hence it working so well for me.

What's making you consider it, NMM? Are your cycles long/wacky/you have pcos?

Just going to leap in and say I took agnus castus along with Bvits (B100 complex) and it really did help, I had very long cycles (50+ days) due to PCOS, and an 11 day LP and the AC brought my ovulation date forward by about a week. As Manda says it also helps with the PMS, skin issues and my hair and nails were really good...It may not be for everyone (and I have certainly read the horror stories too!) but I think it helped me out with my PCOS.

When I went to see the fertility specialist I asked him about it too and he advised that I should continue taking both the agnus castus and the BVits alongside the prescribed medication (metformin) which I did and hey presto here I am 20 weeks pregnant. Obviously can't say what it was that did the trick but I suspect it all helped.

Anyway, sorry for the sales pitch....just really felt like it did me some good

sorry for being awol, just trying to keep the metalling to a minimum

News from me, well things are starting to feel a touch more real now, doula booked, Natal Hypnotherapy CDs just loaded on to Iphone... goodness me, I am starting to believe there might actually be a baby at the end of all of this.....anomaly scan a week today (and we'll hopefully be finding out the gender, which I am v excited about).

Also just booked a last minute spa break ON MY OWN (hoorah!) this weekend so I am really looking forward to having a bit of time to be with my own thoughts and pretend I am sipping cocktails somewhere glamourous when actually I'll be drinking herbal tea with my book while DH attends to the ceaseless demands from DS for more Peppa Pig and Easter eggs (over indulged last weekend, and now we're paying!)

Take care! xxx

I have just read though my notes.

The midwife didn't weigh me and I had no clue how much I weigh.
I got weighed at the local leisure centre (with heavy clothes on I might add) worked out my BMI. And went to fill it in, in the notes, as requested. The cheeky mare has only gone and ticked me as 30> BMI for obesity weight management! My BMI is 25. I know I look heavy, I was wearing baggy clothes and I have very large boobs, I'm only 5ft with and already noticeable bump, but still.