Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

[MarthasHarbour]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

The standard 'form' of the thread is the first one on in the morning brings the brekkie!

And this will be a very special thread, it is the one where our first 'graduate' gives us our first bambino Go on IQ give us a twirl if-you can be arsed in your full term state

No baby, yolk sac & fetal pole, measured 6+4.
Gotta go back in 10 days for confirmation i suppose.

Im always very negative, but have any of you had a scan at 6 weeks, showing what i have seen today then gone back and seen a baby?

tits

So sorry mrsn have just seen on another thread you might have to go on your own. (hugs)

Have no Experiance of how things might change, hope someone else might know, wrong dates maybe? Ds started measuring 3weeks ahead of what they thought towards the end so even later scans can be wrong some times xx

thanks far!

I have been speaking to a different secretary at harley street, i tried emailing mary stanton but she didn't reply. I thought that might have been because she is NHS and i wanted to go private.

My plan is to see my consultant then get an appointment at Harley Street. i am having testing on the last pregnancy to see if there was any chromosome abnormalities so need to wait for these results to show to Raj Rai. Harley Street told me Raj only does wednesday mornings though - is this incorrect? I hope it is as train fares are really high getting to london on a wed morning.

I will contact the private secretary to see if i can go for the TEG on the same day to save me going back to london twice.

I have already had the Karyotyping so I won't need that again. I haven't had a scan when not pg so I will have that done by Raj Rai.

The results come back quickly don't they! That sounds good to me - I can have my testing and results before the NHS referral would even be getting started. I think I will get refered as well though for the future.

mrsn

i don't really know about your situation but will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Mrs N, don't know the answer to your question, but am with you in spirit xx

mrs n I am sorry but holding out hope that something is seen in 10 days, does 6+4 tally with your dates?

pebs he only does Weds morning at Harley Street, he then does Weds afternoon/evening and Thurs at St Mary's. There is a lovely nurse called Winnie who does all the blood tests there as well. Mary sometimes needs a bit of a chase! I would email again. She looks after Lesley Regan as well so think she is quite busy. When I emailed to say I was pregnant and needed heparin etc she replied straight away just to reassure you! She is the private sec I believe.

mrsn I was googling like a mad thing after my last scan, there seems a lot of people don't get anything other than sac/pole/yolk until 7-8 weeks, I guess there is always a chance.

My scan today was so quick, she placed the wand thing against my stomach immediately went "there's baby, there's the heartbeat" then she measured and that was that. I got a 2 second glimpse. No idea what the hb was.

MrsN, first of all, I am sorry I didnt wish you well, I missed that it was your scan today. Can I ask how far on do you think you are? Did they do any hcg blood tests?

I had a scan at 6 and a bit with my second mc, and there was almost nothing there, no pole, just a little gestational sack - they said measuring less than 5 weeks. Then they backed the result up with hcg and progesterone blood tests, both of which were too low. Then they said to come back in 2 weeks if nothing had happened, but I mc naturally before my appointment. They didn't give me any hope at all. How have the consultants been with you? I hope this works out for you mrsn.

Big :o to midget and tits. I am so pleased for you both.

Sorry mrsN, guess what I was trying to say was I did mc, but what they saw at my scan was much worse than what you have described. I think there is some hope for you.

Oh Mrs N more bloody waiting. Poor you. Hurried post from phone at work. Basically if your dates are right there should be something tere. If they are wrong and theirs are right there is still hope. I had no HB with DD, I think at 6 weeks but then did at 7 plus something so a similar situation. If your dates are right though I say the chances of a positive outcome decrease drastically as you would expect HB at 8. Fetal pole encouraging I would think though. Sorry such a hurried post but didn't want to read and leave. Personally I would go back in a week, 7plus 4 is enough to have developed. 2 weeks is cruel.

im exsactly 6+4 today which is what the scan said.
Just no hb, no baby and continuing bleeding. there should be a hb & baby by now.

They said that they cannot advise any form of action now, as the rules have now changed. The sac needs to measure 7cm with no contents before they can recommend either medical or surgical management. I measured 6cm. Hence coming back in 10 days to give it time to either go naturally or grow and develop.
Been here 5 times before, this will be my 5th blighted ovum, so i know the score. (have had 2 other mcs where a baby & hb were seen)

So there it is. The most shittest thing of all, is that my local hospital does not have a gynea ward. I will be put into a general surgical ward, last time in between a breast abscess and a bowel resection, after being moved to 3 different locations within A&E, dragging my gas & air cylinder behind me!

Thats the shittest part and final insult/kick in the tits.
oooh im even angrier than i was yesterday! sorry girls

MrsN, not necessarily, there are cases where there's no hb yet - especially if you maybe implanted a day or two after you ovulated. My friend was nannying for an obstetrician when she got pregnant and her boss gave her a cheeky early scan and they had a similar situation. A week later, there was a heartbeat. The fact that this hasn't followed your usual course maybe means there's something to hope for? You're not out till you're out and it is still early enough that a couple of days either way makes the difference.

Fx for you, but look after yourself whatever happens. If its not to be, then the scan may be the trigger for your body to 'let go' - with my blighted ovum miscarriage, diagnosed at 8+4, I'd been spotting for weeks in the run up to the scan but it all kicked off a couple of days afterwards - it's like your mind allows for it to happen then.

Thanks grandpooh, ive known for the 3 weeks ive been spotting to be fair, it could have happened anytime for me.

There is a tiny slither of hope that the next scan may be more positive..but again, been there before and still miscarried.
dooom gloooom.

now, happy thoughts, chinees takaway and snuggle on the sofa with DH tonight

Haven't backread, but I think I recall you saying the other day, mrsn that you think you are 6+4 from O/conception, but as far as 'they' date things, you should be two weeks further on? There is always a glimmer of hope, for those that want to believe/cling - there certainly are plenty of 'good news' stories that abound on the net. But I can understand your reticence to allow yourself that train of thought.

But one thing I wanted to add wrt to 'the final insult' - a gynae ward really isn't great, either. You could be next to/near women having abortions. Or with confused old women having hysterectomies. Or both. It's only when a hospital has decided to get a bit more 'with it' that you would then get a private room on a gynae ward (and then, possibly they'd only prioritise later losses).

I guess what I'm trying to say is as much as it'd be ideal if your local hospital had much better facilities the thing is that the grass isn't necessarily greener, y'know? Grass is grass, once you're standing on it. And if this is another BO for you then even green grass isn't actually gonna make you feel better, ultimately. I dunno, maybe I'm odd in thinking that I'd rather take my chances with a bowel resec than be next to someone who is willingly ending their baby's life.

The only part that would be unacceptable, to me, is if the general surgical ward is mixed sex?

Either way, even if you were headed to a gold plated room with top class drugs for the pain... it IS shite to have to be thinking this way again, it IS shite that you may have to go through a traumatic time in a hospital that offers you little to no privacy for your grief so OF COURSE YOU'RE FLIPPING ANGRY! Angry is perfectly acceptable, nay, expected. And you may vent it here as much as you wish; especially if you feel the need to hide it irl. for you.

Gah, and in true foot in it stylee, I've cross posted with you mrsN whilst it took so long for me to waffle on (and do other stuff).

Chinese sounds good. I am just so sorry you couldn't have had better news today.

(gah, and I also want to make it clear after my post before last that I am, despite how it sounds, pro-choice. Not a choice I could make for myself, mind. And not something I think I could be around if I were miscarrying. Just to be clear!)

My point is that the nurses are not trained to deal with mc, i had pv bleeding and yet was not checked at all for how heavy this was, i was left all night, no BP no pv loss checked.

Speaking to the gynea trained nurses on epau, they dearly want ward beds on their dept, one side for over 16 weeks, another for below 16 weeks. Gynea wards for abortions/hysterectomies etc. Seperate.

Im not arsed about gold plated stuff, just properly trained nurses and an appropriate private place to go through the horror & pain. It is truly horrific to go throuhg in the middle of a ward with curtains round.

My losses although always early, are sufficiently painful to force me into hospital for mophine and gas & air.
I labour, literally have labour pains for 12 hours plus.
I dont think that anyone can decide on priority based on gestational age of the loss.
It is so very individual. Friends have coped with paracetamol and hot water bottle at the same gestational age as me.
Gotta wait..and rave on here thanks for talking to me, i really appreciate it x

mrsn is it 6+4 since your period or since ovulation?

If since your period and you are therefore at 8+4 then its unlikely to be a good outcome at this stage. I don;t want you to have false hope so sorry if that sounds harsh. Do you have a tilted uterus by any chance? This can make early scans quite misleading and make you measure a bit behind.

8+4 since lmp, 6+4 since ovulation & conception.
No tilted uterus, just God awful fucking luck.

I am so sorry mrsn have a huge hugorama. I am still hoping for a miracle for you.

MrsN so sorry :( it's awful that you have to wait so long, but I guess they wouldn't do that if there was no hope?

Welcome bottlered sorry you've had to join us.
I used a CBFM after both my losses and it worked fine. It says you should wait 3 cycles after a mc before using it, but i started as soon as af returned and got pregnant that cycle.
My WTF cycle was actually shorter than my normal ones, albeit only by a couple of days.

Congrats to taigo farfall midget and tits
My scan is tomorrow - should be 9+5 - the fact that I had a good scan on Saturday is making no difference to my metalling.

Oh god, I hope I didn't seem to imply I think you want 'special' treatment by wanting provision within the gynae/epu! Seriously, not. Of course you should expect fair provision instead of having a curtain pulled around you and left to get on with it. What I was, badly trying to say is that it's gonna be rubbish where ever, y'know? ANd neither was I trying to distinguish between earlier/later losses myself - just feel pretty sure if there was a private room on a general gynae ward then I'm sure some sort of prioritising would come into play. I'm so sorry - my brain these days isn't functioning at it's best and I seem to have said a load of stuff pretty badly.

But, of course, you're so very right - the people looking after you should be experienced in the situation you are in (and that applies to the bowel resec/breast op too.. to anyone having surgery!) - a sign of money shortage that they just lump everyone intogether? Presumably it doesn't turn out too badly as far as those signing off on where the money is directed are concerned - as long as you don't die, they're not going to admit it's less than ideal, are they? They don't really care about the long term effects (particularly in mental health, cos, well, it's not gonna come out of their budget is it? Incidently, did any of you see MN are campaigning to improve how micarriage is handled by the NHS?). It does suck major donkey balls. And, again, I'm really sorry you are facing the prospect again (and that I came across as insensitive before).

Manda...nonono! you have been lovely and you have helped me to work through the reasons for feeling the way i do and also you have allowed me to rant and be emotional and unreasonably awful, so please dont appologise and please dont explain as i know what you mean. No offence taken at all, and no, you were not being insensitive at all.
I have enjoyed talking to you, i always enjoy alternative ways of looking at things. I need people to talk to me about these things, hugs are wll great but i want to actually talk about stuff and of course there is so much surrounding mc, not just the actual event itself, but as we discussed, where people are nursed, how they are nursed, pain relief, priorites and lack of funding. It needs to be talked about.
so here and here have these xxx