Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

[MarthasHarbour]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

The standard 'form' of the thread is the first one on in the morning brings the brekkie!

And this will be a very special thread, it is the one where our first 'graduate' gives us our first bambino Go on IQ give us a twirl if-you can be arsed in your full term state

tits that is marvellous (about DH), is your DS from a previous relationship? in that is his father a carrier? tell me to mind my own beeswax if you like also double marvellous to hear you are feeling barfy! it is all for the greater good.

GPB glad to hear your blob has not surfaced again! you will get all kinds of 'secretions' so i reckon that is what it was.

manda i am uber excited to see your pics, tho i too would be a bit at a pair of denim shorts in your condition

missc booyakashah

Well, i had a lovely relaxing time in London, my friend was exhausted so we just chilled in the hotel, she felt up to going to the gig in the end which was nice. I am just hoping and praying this chemo lets me keep her for another few years

As for me, well me and DH deserve VIP treatment, medals, special privileges etc etc because we SWI last Monday, Thursday, Friday and last night we are considering tonight too just to finish off the job that is CD6, CD9, CD10 and CD12. Remeber that my cycles are short and i think i OVd on Friday (CD10) so FX it had better bloody work this month how-much longer do i have to shag my husband eh eh?

oh and welcome to the newbies, you are both very welcome on this thread fizzy you are not being ridiculous at all, you are in the WTF cycle (where you havent got a clue where your dates/OV are) and a few of the bods on this thread have got PG in the WTF cycle. Good luck

Fizzy my only pregnancy I carried to term was on the WTF cycle and if you are unlucky enough to MC again then you should get an immediate referral to a RMC clinic where at least you may get some answers. Sorry you have had to join us but welcome to the club. x

and chloe congratulations! you are very welcome on this thread, there are lots of PG mamas on this thread too, heres to being scared shitless!

morning metallers. Welcome chloe and congrats on the BFP. Sorry about the MCs fizzy.

high fives martha on all the dutiful shagging Glad you had a good time in London and made it to the gig.

tits good news but I hope you feel better soon.

I am metalling loads today, I have just hit 17 weeks (I know I know) so if I can carry this one until the end of the week it'll be older than mini-toe. But instead of being positive about this I'm metalling about not feeling as many movements as I was, losing fluid - yes I've figured out by now that it's surely normal in pregnancy but it doesn't help the metalling about it being my waters again. And I know aches and pains are normal but I'm metalling about them too. I have the big appointment and I'm freaking out about a repeat of them saying the baby isn't with us anymore The more I think about it the more I can't breathe. I've packed an overnight bag for the hospital and haven't planned anything for this week in case I have to cancel it. Tell me I'm going crazy!

missc you aren't going crazy you are just having to deal with a fear that history will repeat itself. try to stay as positive as you can - i know it's hard.

when is your appointment?

once you get this week out of the way i hope you can feel more positive for the next 23 weeks.

welcome to the newbies and well done on the swi martha!!

i am not feeling very good today. i tried to have a nice weekend and went out with a friend on saturday and spent a lovely day with dh yesterday but i struggled to sleep last night and was just worrying about the future. will i ever get a baby, whats wrong with me - that kind of thing.

i feel like i could cry today and i really can't wait to get home from work.

i can't be bothered with my job at the moment and i am trying to keep it together but i just have no motivation at all.

i am hoping to go to visit raj rai's private clinic towards the end of this month. i hope my results come back soon for the fetal genetic testing after eprc, does anyone know how long this takes? i am going to ring epu this week to see if they have any idea when the results will be back.

missc when you said 17 weeks i did a for you too. You are metalling, yes, but this week you have every right to. You cannot ignore that this is a milestone for you, and as pebs said you need to get this week out of the way, it wont necessarily get less 'metal' but it is a milestone to hurdle over when is your appointment? i will fluff up the big cushions in the VIP area all ready for you.

pebs IMHO i think you went back to work too quickly, none of my business i know but i just think you need a bit more time to yourself. However if you are finding it easier to be at work than at home then do know that we are all here holding your hand. Shuffle on up next to missc

... in the VIP area of the mosh pit

(sorry i hit send before finishing the sentence!)

i probably did come back to work too soon really but i have a major problem with staying off. i never ring in sick so i really struggle to 'allow' myself the time off. i was off for two weeks with this one which is much longer than i have taken before. the last two mc's i just had a week off. i feel like the longer i am off the more people will notice and i don't want people to notice.

to be honest i felt like this after my last mc until i went back to the consultant and got some answers. i feel like i am in limbo.

i don't think staying at home all day will really help me as i like to keep occupied. i am just bored of my job which doesn't help.

Thanks. Appointment is tomorrow lunchtime.

Felt a baby-kick about an hour ago so that's good but still prodding it metalling madly.

Tell me not to take my overnight bag to the hospital. I've packed it and it's looking at me. I shouldn't take it should I. I should be positive.

pebs I know what you mean about work I am SO de-motivated at the moment. Thankfully I'm only on a temporary freelance contract so I only have 10 weeks or so left there before I can pick and choose my own work and workplaces for the summer. Which depending on whether I'm still preg or not will obviously be different. Again, understanding your feelings in limbo. It's so hard to plan the future around MCs Can you plan something to look forward to non-work related. It's what I always do when I feel like my future is out of control (it's what I did last week, booked a holiday)

martha yes ds1 and ds2 are from a previous relationship, their father is a carrier as am I, luckily ds2 dodged the gene bullet and poor ds1 got the full brunt.

missc i might get a holiday booked. i usually would in these circumstances but i still feel like i have only just got back from australia really.

i have a week off in june so maybe i will go away then.

i am going to a hen party on saturday and having a night away with dh on sunday night so this weekend should be nice.

surely you won't need a hospital bag tomorrow anyway? even if the worst happens don't they send you home and you come back another day?? thats what has happened to me in the past.

night away and hen night sound good.

With mini-toe I went in, waited, was seen by the MW, seen by the doctor, diagnosed, left for a while, sent to labour ward, induced, had him, signed some forms, waited in the side room for the six hours they wanted me to hang around for, then went home in the early hours. I was only there for 11 hours in total but obviously needed a couple of changes of clothes and diversions during that time. I had packed a bag and taken it with me so I had my stuff and DP could go and sort DD without worrying about getting stuff for me.

i think we must have had different circumstances then as i found out i had a mmc at the 20 week scan. i was given a tablet straight away and had to go back in 48 hours to deliver.

don't take the bag - try a positive outlook!

Ok, now booked in for scan at 9 weeks-ish and NT scan at 12. Like actual pregnant person. Veering like mad lady between lalalalalaoptimism and DOOOM. Erm, just like the rest of us, then.

Congrats on the cf gene tits

pebs I went back to work after 3 days with both my losses as I also felt that keeping busy was the way forward - I quite like my job though which might make all the difference until they decided to close us down

missc good luck with the appointment, I think you're entirely justified in metalling in such a milestone week, but focus on those kicks you're feeling.

leedy I too am veering between positive and depths of doom. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I feel like hell but I can't help but get that sinking feeling every time I think about my scan coming up on Saturday. Last time they booked me in for my booking appointment and my 12 week scan in the same phonecall - this time they haven't. I'm trying not to read too much into that.

Well I'm metalling more than ever. Jaffa yes I am in my WTF cycle. Today for some unknown reason, I decided to test. I might as well POA £5 note! Of course it was BFN, probably not even close to AF appearing (I reckon I actually MCd 4 weeks ago, but AF appears so rarely for me that the chances of a spontaneous AF seem slim.) Will probably wait another week or so, then take some Provera for a few days to induce a bleed, then try Clomid again. Need to get back to the GP so he can either prescribe me more or refer me back to the hospital. Am still that nobody picked up my fertility nurse's caseload when she left so I have to go through the whole rigmarole of referral and waiting again. Am keeping my fingers crossed that the GP will just prescribe me some - I know they can but just don't like people to take it unmonitored, but I've had so many cycles of it I figure I know it works for me and I know what to watch out for....

Why the hell can't I just get on with life in the meantime? I can't stop obsessing about ttc. Am even worse than I was when ttc #1 (and that took a long time!)

leedy you are an actual pregnant person. Mind you, when the other day I mentioned I could murder some toast and DP started asking his sister, whose house we were at, if she'd make me some, I was mortified (I get like that) and he said 'what! you're a pregnant woman!' and I instantly said 'No! I'm not! Not really! Not yet!'

They all looked at me like this

I never did get the toast either

I hope everything goes OK at your appt tomorrow missCoffeeNWine I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Pebspop - I really get what you mean about work. I have no motivation at all at the moment either and really don't care about it. All I can think about is mc/ttc/potential problems etc.. I know it's not healthy but I can't seem to snap out of it and pull myself together. Hopefully we'll feel better soon.

MarthasHarbour Well done re all the SWI! I also have (used to have?, who knows now) short cycles too and so will start trying again this week. Kinda looking fwd to obsessing about something else other than mc, IYKWIM.

Does anyone know how long a referral to a mc clinic takes after a third miscarriage? Also, if we have a third miscarriage will I still get a referral even though the mc's would have happened in a really short space of time? (The midwife said that they would count the second mc just last week, as well as the 1st mc in Feb. Although it definitely wasn't the same).

Major licks to you missC. This may distract you momentarily from your rather deserved metalling. Personally I would leave the bag packed. Not because I think you'll need it at all. Your movements and logic say you won't but if it makes you feel better in a weird kind of way then keep it. Also sods law says if prepared it won't be needed. Hoelwever, do not take it with you, allow yourself at least that much positivity. I will bring Valium for you to the VIP area.

Arg, just wrote a lovely message and phone crashed. Anyway, the gist was good luck tomorrow msc. Thinking of you.

-Evening All!

MrsN How are you?
Pebs sorry you are feeling blue today. A holiday plan for June sounds like a great idea. I go through periods of not being able to sleep since the MC and being tired just makes it twice as hard,
MissC what Midgetm says...& I will be thinking of you tomorrow
Martha please can you tell me what booyakashah means...i keep hearing it and don't know.... I'm not very cool
GBP Happy for you that the miserable PG symptoms are kicking in - who would have thought a year ago i'd be thinking "Oh, extreme breast pain", that's really good ....

Has anyone had a TV Ultrasound? Just found out I have to have one next week..

I'm starting SWI this evening....gulp....can i put myself through this again and not go mad?

Hello to Fizzy and Chloe and kirrinIsland its nice in here, honest.

missC midget is talking a special kind of metal sense I think that if your bag packed acts as some kind of security blanket, then so be it. And, well, the bag packed isn't going to make something bad happen so... yeah. I agree about not toting it with you though.

May be a little radio silence from me, or, perhaps, just a reduced service: I thought I was doing ok yesterday, really I was. We took DS2 to CHessington to see the animals at the zoo and although I didn't feel great I was doing ok... and then once I got to the night time (and the time from when I delivered) I became I gibbering wreck, crying lots and basically unable to pull myself together. I've been very tearful again today. I can't place my finger on why - I mean, I keep flashing back to certain things but I don't feel the tears when those thoughts come to me. And I know why, but not why why. Heh. I sound like a loony! What I mean is, it's not like I think about something, or flashback to it, and it makes me cry. I seem to be crying at unrelated times.

Bearly eaten since yesterday, either. Nor slept. I'm a bit of a mess. I think I'm just gonna go with it for the rest of today and see what tomorrow brings because surely I can't go on like this indefinitely. I'll have to seek... something if it keeps on (I have an antenatal appointment tomorrow at 2pm so maybe a starting point).

If this isn't making sense, it was the first anniversary of DS3's birth and my near death/rushed to theatre experience yesterday.

Good job my extra pregnancy saliva is in full flow as still got plenty left to give manda a super huge lick. Hope the appointment goes ok. It's the normal day today shit that gets to me too x

Hello everyone! May I join the madness fun please?

Discovered mmc at 12w scan last week and had MM Friday so still off work and possibly going mad due to lack of conversation and daytime tv. Actually sought out conversation with next doors window cleaner today, he was v.jolly but rather busy...

Anyway, we're planning to jump back on the TTC bandwagon asap, so I was wondering if anyone could sprinkle some babydust my way please?

We're being uber positive at the moment and I'm v.pleased to find this thread. I've been lurking about on AIBU but I'm not sure its anymore good for my sanity.

Anyway, I think I've found a nice new home here if you dont mind me moving in with my thermal socks and home made blanket and glass of anything alcoholic I can find