Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

[MarthasHarbour]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

The standard 'form' of the thread is the first one on in the morning brings the brekkie!

And this will be a very special thread, it is the one where our first 'graduate' gives us our first bambino Go on IQ give us a twirl if-you can be arsed in your full term state

Evening all,

MissC know what you mean about bumps making things public. As I've done this first trimester shit so many times I already have one at 10 weeks and I just want to keep it to myself for a while. Until I really believe. Hope bastards atop sending you photos so you don't need to buy a new phone from all that chucking.

Mrsn sorry whatever happening (or not) has no end in sight. Limbo time sucks. . Wriggle puts it very well, you shouldn't have to be embarrassed for allowing yourself hope but I do understand why you do.

I think I feel embarrassed because I think people may think I am a bit crazy for not accepting the enevitable and that I should give up. Then I realise if they think that they are wrong. Hope is what keeps me going. There are so many coping mechanisms, I am now able to talk about what happens more freely and I find it quite liberating. I am no longer bothered by how it makes others feel. but then again maybe I am as I seems to want to keep this pregnancy secret for as long as possible!

best to sleep - nearly passing out - must be all that metalling x

MrsN I still think you should go for the scan, there is still hope

MissC yay for wriggly baby!

Sorry am on phone but will post tomorrow

evening ladies

mrsN so sorry you are still in limbo i am similar with my MCs...i wake up with a feeling of dread one morning, no sore boobs or tiredness (infact i sleep like a log and wake refreshed) and i just have a...feeling alls not well i suppose. i usually start bleeding later that day. it sucks...it sucks big massive hairy arse

to all the metallers and cake and VIP passes to the mosh pit

to everyone else

bit of a weird day today...its my EDD for my first MC it would have been my baby's 9th birthday...i told DH (was MC pre-DH) and he just said "oh, right" and went back to watching some shit on the TV felt like a kick in the guts (to quote missC ) i hadnt thought of it at all today and now i feel ill i NEED to be pregnant NOW...the thought that i will have another EDD go by with noone living in my womb makes me feel like i am failing...and i feel guilty as i do have DD and she is so wonderful and i AM lucky in so many ways...is this my compromise? i get the happy home life, lovely DD, DH and relative health and i balance that with unbelievable horror of 8 MCs? (im metalling without a baby to metal about...so very sad and embarrassing)

sorry to end the day on a downer

Hello ladies!!!!

Mini IQ and I have finally returned home and as I'm up doing my 'milking cow' bit I thought I'd come and see how your all getting on.

Things here have been difficult (I accept this is all part of the newborn package) currently just prayying we get through it though!! I've been using mumsnet trusty archives to get advise on hospital to home transition, episiotomy care and engorgement......at one point I never thought I'd have these problems so I'm grateful for it really.

Right well I must go back and check what you've all been doing this past week and then I will have to look for a new home...... but I shall keep checking in to see how your all getting on and maybe as you all graduate (it will happen) we can have a mosh creche with lessons in how to 'rock and roll all night - and party everyday'!!

Love to all xxx

IQ YAY YAY YAY. So glad you are home with mini IQ, that warms the cockles of my Heart. Sure must have been a tricky time for you but now you can settle down into home life. Here is a kiss and a lick for mini IQ and one for your good self. Hope your food is on the mend x

marbles only just saw your post after the excitement of baby IW's home coming. I could have written that myself. Every word. Go pounce on your husband even if he is getting on your tits. By order of the midget x

Welcome home baby IQ! :)

I am feeling sicker by the day atm, we're supposed to be going to a bbq tonight, we have spent a few weeks turning down social invites because I have been so tired, it's going to look odd if we don't start going out soon so yes, the lady with the real meat aversion is going to a BBQ
I won't be eating anything and I am hoping to go for an hour or two then make our excuses and leave for some dinner.

I have also promised my sister to make her lunch today, god knows what I'm going to do, something quick and easy but is still delicious for her and her 2 year old, any ideas?

This weather has been lovely, but my legs are covered in bruises from the Fragmin injections so they don't look very attractive, oh well, rather show my war wounds then be too hot!

Just under 2 weeks until my next scan, until I find out if little one has a heartbeat, I know its a question no one can really answer but would symptoms be this strong if it wasn't progressing?

When I had all my other mcs they were symptomless pregnancies, I can cope with the sickness if I think its a sign my little bean is ok!

feel your pain Tits - i still have a faded brusie on my leg from the specialist nurse showing me how to do the jab 'pain free' and that was 2 years ago! I mastered them in the end to leave just a tiny mark but not before I looked like I had been run over by a steam roller.

Sending good health vibes to lovely people who are pregnant today and anxious.

Today is day 15 of bleeding post MC, amd I going for a record?

6w6days today..minimal brown discharge, boobs ragingly sore.

Why cant it jsut be over?????
Going away in caravan on sunday for a few days, dont want it all to start while im away, but im not missing out on a wee break with my boys.

Going for coffee with friends in a min, i love that normality is out there. Oh and there will be cake so i am a happy mrsnesbit today.
Happy cake & coffee vibes to all you lovely ladies xxx

nomoremarbles...are you me??????? we sound so similar! Ive never spoken to any one who has had multiple mcs, and my 1st mc, would now be 11, in fact i would have one of every age now!!!!!

Wriggle i won't depress you with my record number of days bleeding.Really hope it is over soon.

I have a normal midwife booking in appointment - it is freaking the living daylights out of me. I am also going on my own as DH taking DD out - I don't want her to know until I feel more secure as at 4 she is old enough to be heartbroken if it goes tits up. I am not going to drive just in case my car rolls down the hill at the Whittington. I am a fecking wreck. Normal just seems weird. I may end up clinging round the midwifes leg and making her keep me in until I am 37 weeks. Over the top? Dramatic? Metalling? I am waiting for the pulling of sympathetic face when she counts my failed pregnancies. But you know what I shall try and not feel any shame but a lot of pride because I am still going strong. I will won't I? Or shall I blush and look at my shoes?

Blimey this baby making is a tricky business but then I suppose nothing worth having is normally easy. Except lovely shoes but even they hurt a bit.

ARGH! Just found out DS1 is being admitted for 2 weeks of IV antibiotics in FLIPPING LONDON on Monday.

One sure fire way to reduce a hormonal pregnant lady to hysterics .... tell her she is going to be 4 hours away from home without her family for 2 weeks, miss Easter, whilst worrying about miscarrying and suffering severe morning sickness.

And the really lovely shoes, midget? Ouch, have you seen what they do to your bank balance/credit card bill? There's a lot to be said for that simple phrase: nothing worth having is normally easy. There are variants: the course of true love never did run smooth; if it's worth having it's worth fighting for etc. etc.

Do cliches exist as a salve or because there is an inherent truth in them, somewhere? Perhaps a little of both.

we'll ignore the very few people in life to whom everything comes easy. They exist but they are an anomoly, the exception to prove the rule if you will. And, anyway, we never know their true, full story, do we? To trot out another cliche, I've really learned that the grass is NOT greener - grass is grass whichever way you look at it

wrigle Just checked my chart post erpc: I bleed for 13 days with a further 7 of spotting (to a more or less degree) so 20 days total. Af arrived 11 days after that. I didn't log my pg tests but I believe it took me at least three weeks to get a negative, too. I think so long as it's not smelling bad/odd it's just par for the course for some women to bleed for some time.

mrsN I know it's about a week and a half until your scan but would you consider trying to get in earlier? I think you need some answers - and it does seem as if there is some hope to be had...

tits I know personally all my symtoms vanished (I kept saying to DF 'I don't feel sick anymore, I just feel ill) and it seems many of us here have that happen... but I've read that some women do still have strong symptoms even though things have gone wrong. However, that said, it's not YOUR M.O. is it? So it would seem to me that in your case, it's a good sign. As shite as feeling sick is - yay!

Gah, I have lots more to say but haven't got the time/brain power at the minute... back later

Welcome home Mini IQ (and congrats again to IQ!).

mrsn, that sucks to be in limbo - is there any way you can get an earlier scan? The uncertainty sounds hideous. Thinking of you from over here.

wrigle, I only had a few days of bleeding but that was because the day two bleed suddenly turned into HELLO I AM HAEMORRHAGING HELLO HOSPITAL and an ERPC (after they managed to get me on a drip due to the whole "passing out from blood loss", funtimes). I've heard of people have much longer than that when they've m/c-ed entirely naturally though. Hope it stops soon.

And tits, argh on your DS having to go to hospital, as you say it's the last thing a hormonal pregnant lady needs. I hope at least he comes out feeling better. (I only recently found out that my MIL's bad lungs, which I had always thought were just because she had TB as a child, are actually something CF-like and mucusy and the repeated infections were a symptom, not a cause. She goes in for IV antibiotics fairly regularly and always feels like a new, less-gunged woman when she comes out.)

Also gah, Marbles, that sounds like an entirely reasonable reason to feel down.

I'll avoid the pastries as I'm covered in the weight I gained from eating sweets through pregnancy.

"Good to know" it's not uncommon to bleed for so long. It looked like it was stoping a few days back and then returned. Why can't I just choose when I stop bleeding, start ovulating and become pregant and give birth to a lovely healthy child?

Midgetem, pride/bravery doesn't always meet a midwife's gaze, I think, if you know a monster has been known to lurk behind a specific door, then to open that door is a brave thing to do, but it wouldn't surprise anyone if it was done with a shaking hand. Good luck with your appointment.

Mrsnesbit, normality is a weird thing. I just had a groupon detoxifying facial body wrap thing, I never do these things but I was new to groupon and a sucker. She was being all cheery and isn't the weather great and are you doing anyhting nice at the weekend... so I said," I miscarried a couple of weeks ago, I just want to return to work Monday not looking like death", she was lovely and quiet after that.

Marbles, that must ache. Is your DH unable to bear more, not sure how to help (you know people being awkward instead of workin out what to do to help) or otherwise, sounds like you could use a nice drink/cake but I've never worked out how to bold or use the emoticons.

midget hope the midwife makes you feel at ease.

iq glad to see you are home.

i am absolutley shattered today. i think the last couple of days at work have really taken it out of me. i also had commitments in the evenings as well which didn't help. i can't wait to get home, i have things to do at work but just can't be bothered.

think i might go and get some chocolate from the vending manchine and have a brew!

i got around the problem of giving my sicknote to the nosey people in payroll by getting my boss to give it to their manager for me. phew!

i have been bleeding for seven days since erpc and i expect at least another week based on last times experience. my af takes ages to come back as well - think it was 6-8 weeks after erpc last time.

i have been having stomach cramps in the evenings as well this week - i have needed paracetomol and hot water bottle. it's ok in the day. i will see how it goes over the weekend but might ring hospital to see if it's normal.

I was brave at the midwife. Even running through my calamitous 9 pregnancies. Then I freaked out totally and I am now a jibbering heap waiting for a scan at EPU. I couldn't walk past the door with my normal paperwork in my hand. I was terrified, forced to say it all out loud again and I am thinking 'who the bloody hell am I thinking this could go right? Wtf! I am metalling in public. Shame on me!

midgetm thinking of you. Its so hard, but don't beat yourself up about it. After what you've been through I think you're coping amazingly well. Hope the scan goes well.

pebspop hope the stomach cramps settled down soon, and you manage to get some rest this weekend.

mrsn sorry for all the uncertaintly you're going through right now - but like martha says there is still a glimmer of hope that it is all okay. I know you're the best person to judge whats going on, but I know lots of people who've had bleeding in healthy pregnancies. When is your scan? Is it possible to get an earlier one? Hope you enjoyed your coffee and cake.

I've managed to wangle an extra scan for tomorrow morning - have had quite painful cramps and backache over the past few days and can't wait till the 9th April for my dating scan. I go through periods of positivity (actually started looking at pushchairs online last night) and then periods of complete paranoia.

Hope everyone else is okay and have nice things lined up for the weekend

hello all...so sorry I have been so useless at catching up, though have been lurking and keeping up with everything! Work has been manic this week...

mrs so sorry about all the waiting and uncertainty - really hope you get some answers soon!

midget thinking of you with your scan!

tits hope all goes well next week with your DS and that you manage your symptoms and metalling at the same time!

manda how did your twirling go with New Look yesterday? Hope it was a good distraction from the anniversary.

IQ yeah for being home with mini-IQ...hope you all settle well into being at home and that the 'discomforts' of labour pass soon!

Ooh and marathon of you're still lurking...huge congrats too

Phone posting on the W3 bus...scan all ok. Big headed bean still kicking. I on the other hand feel drained! Just explained to EPU that saying my history out loud again freaked me out. Why do we have to repeat it so many times? In a way feel foolish but also unrepentant! Proper full metal attack. Normal positive midget will be restored soon. I hope. I miss her. I need her back. I think midwives sympathy face and offer of counselling support cracked me. Easy to think your ok and then you suddenly realise you are not. Don't know what I would do without this thread. Well I do, I would be considerably more loony than I am currently. X

I swing between utter utter desperation to dogged acceptance minute by minute at the moment.

Each time i go to the loo i feel desperately sad.
Each twinge i get litterally makes me want to vomit with grief.
Each time i become aware of my boobs, my stomach sinks if at that very moment they do not feel sore.

I want to go for an early scan, but i know what it will show, what it always shows, an empty sac, bloods will come back with low hcg.

It makes sense to just wait and accept whatever comes.

BUT i dont want to. I want to see a baby there, i want to see a heart beat there, i want to have fantastic blood results, i want to feel sick as a dog, i want the bleeding to stop, i want to be able to tell every one "we are having a baby" i want to feel excited and extatically happy, i want to be able to plan and look at babygrows, i want to get the pram out of the loft, i want to mark on my calender each week as they go by, i want to see a midwife like normal people do, to worry about my blood pressure, to worry about childcare and work,
I dont want to feel robbed and useless, and empty anymore.

Im down today, very low. Huge cuddles with my little boy help and lifts the world for me.

fuckingcuntingshittingfuckergodamtwattingfucking miscarriages. They can all fuck the fuck off.

Fantastic news on your scan Midgetm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrsnesbit... absolutely.

Just got the call to say DS's hospital visit has been cancelled! I get to spend Easter holidays with my family! :)

On another note, I am getting major dizzy, fainty spells, is this a BP thing or an iron thing?

mrsn so sorry you're having a low day, I hope you get some confirmation of something soon and closure to regroup and recover.

Great news about the scan midge :D