Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

[MarthasHarbour]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

The standard 'form' of the thread is the first one on in the morning brings the brekkie!

And this will be a very special thread, it is the one where our first 'graduate' gives us our first bambino Go on IQ give us a twirl if-you can be arsed in your full term state

Good Morning All. Its one week today since I found out about my mmc and I have decided that today is the day I start pulling myself together. Can I ask a couple of questions first though....

Can I start ttc as soon as I have stopped bleeding? One doc said wait one cycle, one said wait three and the mc association seem to say its ok to get straight back on it???!?!

Also, is there anything (anything at all) that I can do to give next time a better chance of working out?

Off for a decaf brew now, start as you mean to go on and all that!

chuckle my GP said to go for it whenever we felt mentally up for it, even if it was the WTF cycle (the first month! - ie in the next few days for you), many on this thread have conceived in the WTFC. So if you feel up to it then go for it.

bonzo i like the idea of pebs giving the cot to the womens refuge, only if you can afford it though. If not sell it on ebay or try and do a deal with the shop (my friend MCd and took all her stuff back to Mothercare, they were lovely, even though she didnt have receipts they didnt ask any questions - sadly it will be commonplace for them)

manda sending you all the marff hugs today, hard to believe it is a year isnt it? On a lighter note - how long have we been on this thread? I think i joined just before out hols in May as that is when we started TTC again Thankfully you have your modelling 'job' to take your mind off it. And how was your meal last night? 'just a little local place...' whats that then? Claridges??

me and DH had a bit of a huff with eachother last night, he is keen to get on it (loads of women at his work are PG and he is ) so he got all, not arsey but all 'right we are doing it tonight - no question- i want to get you PG yada yada '

Well that put me right off, as it would. TBH he should be on this thread too as he is more of a metaller than me! Someone give me a shake, i am like the bloke, ie just want to SWI for the nice reasons and not for the mechanical purposes. Really need to make it up to him tonight (we didnt DTD by the way - went to bed in a huff the both of us!), i am just not, well, 'feeling' it. But on the other hand i still fancy the pants off him, love him to bits and want more babies with him.

WTF is wrong with me???

i won't be getting rid of the cot, i never see it as it's hidden away in my garage. i was just reminded of the embarrassment of it all when i had to tell people i wouldn't have even told i was pg that i had mc if they hadn't seen/heard about it.

i do have some other baby stuff which i chose to buy but they don't bother me. that lot is piled up in the attic.

i don't think i would buy anything again until a baby is at my house. i will have to get some bits for hospital etc but other than that i will order it all online when i get home.

hi all, martha you're allowed to have a huff sometimes, it's stressful trying to make a baby. Also very unromantic. DH complains he's being milked . I tell him to take his pants off! Not that we've been trying lately.

chuckle I was also told try when you feel ready. I would say unless you have some specific problem, there's not much you can do. I did everything by the book and ended up with a MMC and an ectopic after that. I keep seeing heavily pregnant women smoking, I look at their bumps (I'd be about the same if not for the MMC) and feel such anger and bitterness. They're actively hurting their babies and they get to keep them. I did everything 'right' and my baby still died. Life is shit.

mrsnesbit thinking of you, so sorry you're going through it all again. But so happy that you have your DS. I imagine it doesn't take away all the pain of all your losses, but he is a miracle!

pebs how are you? Glad that your first day back at work was ok. You're a tough cookie, I'm still a wreck at work sometimes, I was sobbing on a colleague's shoulder yesterday.

I shed a couple of tears about your cot, pebs. I have one of those pregnancy cushions that you have in bed, forgotten what they're called. I got one at about 10 wks pregnant as I had bad pelvic girdle pain with DD and was very uncomfortable lying down. Little did I know my baby was already dead

grandpoo hope you're feeling better

iloveblue thanks for your stats from the other thread, that is very reassuring

jaffa great news on the scan!

marathonmama congrats!

madaboutmadmen thanks, I'm very up and down. Had an 'altercation' with my Mum this week and I cried for about 6 hours solidly. DD was surprisingly unphased, just wiped my tears with a bib! It was over something so stupid but she wouldnt stop shouting, it reminded me of being a small child and her going mad. . I'm starting my 6 wk block of counselling next week. I've had a couple of 'initials'. Anyway, enough of my moaning, so glad you have a wriggly baby!

marbles thanks, can you take aspirin for APS? Or am I getting confused (again!)

it is quite nice being back at work as no-one seems to know why i have been off. i don't want to talk about it in rl as i can't be bothered with the well meaning advice. no-one can advise me unless they have been there. i am sure a few people might have guessed but they aren't saying anything. the only person who knows is a girl who has had two miscarriages before she had two children so i talk to her a bit about things.

the only problem is i need to hand my sicknote in and i know a few nosey buggers in payroll might ask me about it. i hope they don't it's supposed to be confidential but they are over familiar with me so might think it's ok to ask. it's not!

tas i always tell dh i'm a tough cookie but he rolls his eyes as he has seen me being very wimpy at times! i am tough when i need to be though!

pebs that is highly unprofessional of HR my boss said to put 'gynaecological problem' on the sicknote which always shuts people up.

Bloody hell, i would be complaining to their managers if they asked!

sorry pebs that looks like i have been asking my boss about your predicament i meant that she said to put that when i had my MC!!! [

Ok, talk me down, people: I have somehow managed to convince myself that (due to my GREAT AGE hem hem) if I don't miscarry this time, they will DEFINITELY find something awful on the 12 week scan and I'll end up having a later m/c or termination for medical reasons. Needless to say, there is no reason why this should be the case except my slightly elevated (40 at EDD) age risk.

Hmph. Stupid metalling brain.

leedy may i respectfully say - STFU!!

just been to House of Fraser for some sale goodies, two lovely vintage style dresses all is well in the world

:)

Leedy, that's absolute balls. My mum was 41 when she had my sister, back in the 80s when it was practically ancient to have a child. My sister is, was and always has been absolutely fine well, she's a self centred pain in the arse sometimes but I can't blame mum for that.

I'm metalling today as well. I don't feel pregnant. It's stressing me out a bit. I think it might be because I'm ill and that's much more noticeable - I'm sleeping a lot because of it, or the pregnancy, or both. DH and I are sort of ignoring it, and just not getting too invested. We expected it to take us a while to 'catch' again so this feels like a 'free' one almost, so when if it goes wrong we won't have lost any time, IYSWIM? I don't know.

Afternoon everyone. Sorry I haven't been about, the less said about my internet provider the better

Was glad to read of the arrival of mini-IQ, I hope no news since is good news IQ and you're settling in at home.

Welcome to all the newcomers, sorry you have to be here.

Bum to all the bad news especially mrs n, so sorry.

But hurray for the BFPs and good news - leedy calm down. One day at a time....today you are pregnant. jaffa great news on the wriggly one! marathon congratulations!

Sorry not to name check everyone but I have read everything, just having brain failure.

Not much to report from over here. I'm still pregnant. Taking the milestones one kick in the guts at a time. Two friends had their babies on mini-toes DD. both boys one sent me a brand new bright red baby picture about 30 minutes after the birth, so that's what woke me up that morning

I've got a very active wiggly baby so I thank it daily for knowing I need that reassurance. Mini-toe was never like this. I am also getting a big fat belly, which scares the shit out of me. I really hate it, feels too soon, too early, just wrong. I am scared people will notice and ask and I'll have to acknowledge and it'll become public knowledge and then I'll have to explain after. At least mini-toe spared me the bump.

So that's me freak out for the day....

grand I do this on and off, the second the sickness eases I get paranoid! I guess it's normal in our situation, as for you leedy

I think it's just my brain going "well, it's not going to work this time, so HOW is it not going to work" and coming up with dramatic worst-case scenarios. STUPID BRAIN.

I am pregnant today.

Hi all. I think I may be classed as a bit of a stalker. I refresh and read this thread so many times each day. I just wanted to say thank you, the posts on here make me cry - both happy and sad tears.

It's a relief to find that I haven't always been turned into a selfish old cow and that I can actually be genuinely happy when someone else says they're pregnant, because it sure as hell doesn't happen in rl. I guess it's knowing that you've all been through so much. That and the fact that it gives me a little ray of hope!

Please excuse my ramblings!! (another colleague has just announced that they are pregnant - and of course they weren't even trying)

chuckle re conceiving in the wtf cycle. My GP advised me that the main reason why people are advised to wait is for dating purposes. I was lucky enough to get pregnant in wtf cycle. Mentally, it was the right thing for me. I just knew I wanted to be pregnant and that was my overriding emotion. But physically, it has been tough. I have basically been pregnant since Christmas, so 17 wks, but only have 8 wks to show for it. I have had two nasty illnesses, and am extremely tired. I am hoping that this is partly due to the first trimester, but I know I am run down.
After the mc, I took megadose b vitamins for 2 weeks. I did not feel comfortable taking them once I knew I was pregnant, but I think they did an excellent job of getting my cycle back on track. I sort of knew I was very fertile at one point because I had a lot of ewcm, and it was about 5 days after ovulation normally would have occurred. If you are thinking of ttc straight away, try to listen to your body as much as possible rather than expect things to be as they normally would. And make sure you have a negative of test before you start.

MrsN, I am thinking about you. Hope you are holding up ok.

I read all the comments about embarrassment with interest. I had a very public mc at 17 wks. I had told so many people by that point, acquaintances at baby groups, all of the choir I sing in. I had to then 'untell' them, which was so difficult. I felt that a very private grief has been made public property. Some people were lovely, others were unbelievably tactless. I also felt it was a topic most people didn't know how to handle properly. They were embarrassed because they didn't know what to say. And I felt a fool- why didn't I know my baby had died, why had I led on my family and friends? Horrible.

Got to go, DD has woken up. Hello to all those I haven't name checked.

Both my MCs were public knowledge as well Jaffa with my first I saw no reason to wait and told everyone after the dating scan (with great fanfare) and the second I told people after the point of loss of the first, only to lose him 3 weeks later. The worst thing about that is that my DD has had to share the loss with us.

Yet I still feel funny about getting a bump. It's the equivalent with walking round with 'I am pregnant' tattooed on my forehead. Although it's only just beginning to round out it makes me panic....and because it's such a difference compared to my other pregnancies. Facing the school run and the work gossips.....and the questions and the due dates and the is it your first/seconds ... makes me want to hide under a rock.

Hello everyone,

Chucklemonster, you can try again straight away if you're ready physcially and emotionally. WHO recommends a wait, but a very well researched longitudinal study reported good outcomes for pregnancies in the first 6 months, including the WTF phase. In terms of improving your chances, I was told the NHS won't test until a 3rd miscarriage and that I should just be smart about my health.

I'm still awaiting a negative pregnancy test, if I don't get one by Saturday then I have to go back to the hospital. I'm anxious to get the negative so we can ttc, I didn't appreciate how long it would take to finish the MC process (today is day 14). Im just so anxious to get going! I hate the thought of losing an opportunity, and would love a WTF cycle baby, but I think I may have ovulated a couple of days ago, it's so hard to tell what's going on in my body right now. I also have the sense as someone else mentioned (sorry can't find you again to namecheck) that this is a freebie and I'm turning 40 and need to get back on the...erm... horse???!!!

Manda thinking of you. Anniversaries are so hard. Hope you are ok over the next few days. X

Good evening every one.

Strange thoughts, strange goings on today.

I know how this works, there is a usual chain of events for me. 6 mcs, i am old hand at it.
It all starts with all symptoms ceasing, i no longer feel pregnant very suddenly, literally over night.
In my mind, the minute this happens, its the start of the end, inevitable, nothing i can do, its gone & done.

But today my boobs are bloody killing me & i feel really tired. This i know is crazy thinking.
Im carrying on with the folic acid and vits, will just finish them i think.
Brown discharge has now been going on for 3 days nearly. Not increased, no cramps yet.
I just want it to end. The end is no doubt on its way in the next few days.
Sigh, today i am 6w 5 days. Today i am pregnant. Last time ever.

Going to get some contraception when its over & done with.

Sad but not angry, embarrased because i had the choice to NOT go through this again. Embarrased because i presumed that i was perimenopause, embarrased because im putting dh through this again. Embarrased and mortified that im going to have a load of bloody doctors prodding and examining me again.

I'd been wondering how you were getting on Mrsnesbit, sounds like you're walking a tightrope over a volcano. You had the choice, and you had enough hope to try, there's nothing to fault in that, it must have taken immense bravery to make the decision, and I have endless respect for that. Sending you train loads of good health vibes for today.