The Rat Smacketeers will all get BFP's this month and we are Brooking No Argument!

[TheLittleFriend]

See a Rat. Smack it.

Good luck for tomorrow pop

And you scrambled. Who needs AMH when you've got nice clean tubes for an egg to get through . Brooking hard that this does the trick for you.

Really gutted about af getting you generic. Hope you're ok x

secret what CD are you? You know that OPKs show positive when you're preggo don't you? Just saying

bean I'm loving your morning quickie work. Bang on target day by the sounds of it.

CD25 and CBFM has finally gone down to low fertility, with the last stick of the month (does it just do that anyway?). No symptoms at all.

Oh, and maybe, I've still got my fingers totally crossed for you this month. Still no sign of af?

Little - sorry if I've missed something but did you get a peak or have you just had tonnes of highs? V weird to be still peeing on stix by cd25 and will cost you a fortune if this carries on next month. Poor you. Thanks re' + words - yes, this was target day, and happily we last dtd on Saturday so seems like fairly good timing this month though Friday would have been better for dtd given poor wrigglers. You can't always win, but you can play a good game.

Whims - yes I imagine you are strong minded. I'm v decisive but trying to avoid opinions as they get me into trouble, but nonetheless seem to have quite a few. But with food I am pretty laissez faire these days. Particularly as DP enjoys cooking and does a lot for the Beans... naughty wife that I am not, because the bugger still won't buy a ring and pop the question.

Wanted to add Smegs - that I can be exceptionally upbeat and rational mid-month - about lack of DC2 - but of course it all goes to pot on CD1, so please take my words with a pinch of salt. All I should say is I'm brooking for you and hoping that you're ok lovely.

:o bean & whims - not too much choice really, we'll have to wait til no.1 is in school because of ££. What are your opinions on kids close in age, whims?

Ah little I wish it were tomorrow, but alas it's next Tuesday!

Oh and your menu sounds amazing whims - it's all very strong flavours, so maybe something light for pud? Sorbet?

Sorry can't be much help with charting but I am too lazy busy in the mornings to temp effectively.

Have promised myself a CBFM for Easter if not diffed by then as am likely to be up early with the puppy from then anyway [much excitement in the Scarlett Household about the puppy, can?t wait to bring him home!! Not sure how I show you a picture on here? Is there any way to do it without it being open to the world?]

sweetie your tan looks gorgeous, am well jel [conveniently forgets I had a tan in January after we buggered off to the Canaries for a week after Xmas] so I am going to book a spray tan

bean your weekend sounds lovely ? although we only have SK?s to stay once a week, I am always a bit weirded out when we don?t have them because of hols with their NVDM, having a Friday eve & Saturday to ourselves sees us both looking at each other a little bit ermmmmmm what now?

pop I spoke to my mum recently too, she told me I took 18 months to conceive and my sister was a good 2 years, have found it really good to be able to talk to her tbh?

smegs have fx we will both have HSG/Hycosy magic beans, I have follow up appt with specialist next week to go through SA & hycosy results [although I already know what they are]

maybe I have given up this month, had another teensy bit of pink spotting this morning but boobs are totally normal, no cramps nada. Hycosy showed I would be ov?ing this month, from good side too, and OPK?s showed +ve around the time I was expecting, but they were a little inconclusive so maybe I should?ve carried on testing. Feck knows.

generic I?ve put numerous upward facing spears in the garden to prevent the witch?s broomstick from landing but I can hear her cackle from here

whims I?d prob suggest cheesecake or something easy like that ? I'm rubbish at dessert cos I haven?t got a sweet tooth too much?

Wave to everyone else!!

I know you lot love this kind of thing so I thought I?d share SA results and see what you think, I haven?t a fecks notion what any of it means :
Viscosity: Slightly
pH: 7.9
progressive: 78%
non-progressive: 2%
Immotile: 20%
Total no of progressively motile: 130.51mill
Morphology: 11%

If anyone would like to help I'd be very grateful

Hi Scarlett - you deffo need a professional to go through those figures with you, but at a guess I think they look quite good. I hope so for your sakes. If it's slightly viscous (at a guess) - he just needs to drink more water and less tea/coffee/fizzy drinks. Plus it looks a bit acidic - more fruit in diet, less sugar/refined carbs. All good for TTC anyway. Morphology and Motility is good I think but I stress that you must ask someone who knows how to read these figures - GP should be able to explain!

Finally have HSG booked at yet another hospital after unexplained cancellation and silly buggerings on with GP. V weirdly it has landed on the same date as the very first (cancelled) referral - 2 April. The synchronicity must mean something!

xxxx

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG STUPID F**KING MUMSNET JUST ATE MY REALLY LONG MESSAGE

Oh Imps I bloody hate it when that happens

Bean that's great news. It's a sign I tell you, a sign As far as seeds go, we planted cauliflower, green and yellow courgettes, mint, thyme, parsley, peppers, leeks, aubergines, purple sprouting broccoli, cabbage, red and yellow tomatoes. And I put the spuds, garlic, red and white onions in the ground on Saturday. I am very excited

Scarlett it sounds to me as though you could very well be preggers! I am keeping everything crossed for you. Sounds like the sperm analysis is looking good! I don't know anything about the numbers, but from what Bean says, things are looking good!

Thanks Little no sign whatsoever of AF. I don't even have a sore boob, which I always get I feel very heavy down there IFKWIM.

Whim sounds like you have a lovely menu there. A far as make-ahead desserts go, cheesecake is always a good one, plus there are so many different variations you can make. Or maybe a nice crumble. I have an amazing recipe for an apple and raspberry crumble with a flapjack base to it. Nom.

Please note disclaimer - I'm not an expert on SA and could be TOTALLY WRONG.

Poor Imps - what a massive focker. Have a brandy for health reasons.

Maybe - I am shamed by your seed scatterings and my lack of. Ooh - what a great cheesecake with FJ!

Think 2 April may be cd1 (although of course I am already diffed). I'm guessing that throws out HSG for that date?!

Scarlett - preggers?!

Just a thought bean but I bet they won't do a HSG if AF doesn't turn up that day iyswim? Unless you've abstained the whole cycle or something?

DH has just turfed over our veggie patch I plan to be too heavily pg this summer, and far too busy for the next one :o

Hi
All well here 12w on friday. Starting to feel more normal, since Sat I finally found a more normal appetite so am now trying to make up for last 6wks lol.

Hope your ok far

Different places seem to book HSGs differently mine got me to phone on CD1 in order to book appt and I had mine done on CD12. They were aiming for CD10 but because I have a 7day AF CD12 was considered fine. Given the BFP that followed I'm happy to say they got it right.

Thanks Pops - I think they won't do it either way. If I'm super lucky I'll be pg and will have a BFP! If I'm lucky AF will be on her way out. If I'm unlucky she'll just have arrived and they won't do it. Ah well - the saga continues. Hopefully I can reschedule!

Oh I'm fairly sure I'm out this month, am always wishing to get a reassuring tummy twinge or sore boob [or, dare I say it, some 'normal' [TMI] constipation, that's been clockwork since I was 12 and apparently was the cause for 50% of my cramps...]. However, I was an absolute twat to be around yesterday and blamed a combination of PMT & BFN.

Last month I was late and had a variety of different symptoms but the boobs was the same. I do think 'Mother' Nature is just playing games with me now... I think she has just extended my cycle now for the laugh.

My cycle lengths [since I don't have a chart to examine] for last 12 cycles have been: 27, 29, 27, 27, 28, 28, 26, 29, 28, 26, 25, 32 - until Christmas fairly-ish consistent. Currently CD30. I wish I could switch off from this as I'm sure it's the thinking about it that delays it...

Thanks for non expert view bean GP just said 'normal' but we are seeing specialist next thursday so he should be able to clarify more.

Nice to hear all ok cakes I had to call on CD1 too...

Hi scarlett - I wouldn't worry about a cycle length of 30ish days; it's still only 2-3 more than "usual" for you, which is within normal limits imho :)

shiny I've got everything crossed that this one's a sticky one

maybe I'm very impressed with your planting but why haven't you PIACC yet? I planted celeriac and buttenut squash at the weekend, their just inside by the window for now, as it will be a few weeks before we can risk planting stuff outside

Boo to AF arriving and to the weird cycles (well that seems to cover almost everyone)

sweetie you're looking lovely and tanned, and you're my cycle buddy at the moment - so here's to our BFPs in about 7 10 days time

stasi i hope the Ipad helps your wrists, I find that my tablet makes my wrists hurt, probably because its so portable I use it more than I used to use my normal computer

I'd better post this before I lose it, laters

Tank you pop for metaphorical friendly slap, yes I am obsessing and I will cease and desist, I promise!

*Thank, obviously...

Loving the new name Pop

Beedle all out little seeds are on the window sill too. Will be a while before we actually get some warmth here too I love squash and celeriac

Scarlett when did you say you got your +ve OPK?

bean, no, I've not had a peak, just 12 highs I think! Only my first month of using it, so I'm hoping it's just getting to know me

all this allotment / veg talk is making me feel very bad about our veg patch still being covered with carpet from the winter. We WILL plant something out this weekend!

Good for you Little!

Hello - still hanging in there. Can't vouch for the state of my mental health though . Have decided to bite the bullet and go to the docs tomorrow. If the worst happens overnight, I can get stuck straight in to trying to get some answers.

imps - that is very annoying re the post.

bean - um v impressed re the sperm analysis interpretations.

generic - that is shitballs re AF. However, it will be the last one for a while as next cycle will be yours!

scarlet - you're still not out!

beedle - I'm v impressed with the planting! What, exactly, do you plant in? Just a pot? I'm thinking of trying. Have planted lots of hanging baskets and pots etc but never grown any vegetables.

popcorn - yes, you will deffo be too busy!

far - THANK YOU - your post means that hopefully I might get more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep tonight! I also have the most disgusting taste in my mouth - as though I've been sucking on 2ps. Had a look online and that seems to be a sign too. my back is killing me too but surely too early for all that

Getting quite inspired to do some gardening and veg growing with DS after reading this.

Scarlett, it's a long time since I've done SA and I won't attempt a professional opinion now, but it is surprising how bad normal sperm is! You expect a good proportion to be immotile etc. I guess that's why it was all designed that there would be several million of them each time!

shiny, congratulations. I do hope this one is sticky.

AF still in residence here. That's me been bleeding now for 3 months since DD's birth. I think there will have to be another trip to my Nice Lady Doctor. All a bit frustrated with it now.

All sounding very promising for you my dear, let us know how you get on at the docs.

Bartlet I am not surprised you are frustrated. As if everything you have been through isn't enough. I hope the Dr sorts you out once and for all. There are rats that need smacking