Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Find your sea legs and sail on the seven seas in the BESH Pearl

[HaveALittleFaithBaby]

Argh, and be welcome to our new pirate Fred. Be finding yourself a parrot and a wooden leg and hop on board for the trip of a lifetime. Argh.
If ye be new and wantin' to join our motley crew, be filling in the BESHtionnaire application below. Argh.

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

That's a "c", right there...

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

George Michael. He'd be off the drugs and on the straight and narrow ('scuse pun) if we ever met...

8. Lesbian crush?

9. What are your views on camping?

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.

faif did you and MSB really not do nakedness before you got married, or was that bit a joke??

We agreed not to dtd before we wed. Got carried away a couple of times mostly when pished but no, no sechsing til wedding day :) Was super romantic actually, imagine removing wedding clothes to see each other nekkid for first time in the light, four poster bed in hotel room! Then spent the whole honeymoon getting really good at it
yup MSB was my first :)

:) Awww and squeeee! That's so lovely.

I remember a radio programme once where they were following a couple who were waiting for their wedding night and interviewing them every few months about how they were feeling. The interview the morning after was heartbreakingly, hilariously tragic. They just sounded so bloody dejected and let down. Poor, poor souls.

I'm sure they worked at it and now have a fab sex life, of course.

Actually, my first shag with AMNH was the most romantic of any of my first shags. Not that there are that many.

I don't think losing the big v is ever a massively earth shattering moment but what a shame if their's wasn't great.and they felt disappointed. I'd say ours was as good as you can get for a first time. I knew it would get easier so was happy to persevere, I guess some younger girls are put off for a long time after their first... By the Monday of the honeymoon (got wed on Saturday) I'd got the hang of it! On MN some people imply if you wait for marriage you'll never really have a good sechs life! I dispute that :)

Well quite. It sounds like you and MSB were a lot more grounded and clued up and realistic about that with each other in advance though. This poor couple just clearly didn't have a clue and were expecting it to be blissfully earth-shattering just by virtue of being sex.

Maybe it made a difference that my friends were realistic with me? So I knew it wouldn't be mind blowing orgasmic sex initially. But he was luffly with me without tmi and I knew we just needed to practice!
Well I'm showered and dressed, ready for doc review. Please Mr Doc let me go home, I've run out of toothpaste!

Me hearties!

I can't even work for a few days and you're onto fascinating conversation! Sechsing before, during and after being wed, I mean. We did two out of 3. We failed to do the sechs on our wedding night - too shattered but managed in the morning. Just wondering if MSB knew how to be luffly, had he done the sechs before? Rude questions from the new girl pirate. Ignore if need be! Agree with norf about the level-headed approach by you and the squidgy one. Must help!! Btw I can report intentless sechsing is luffly no pressure now the gyn has done the essentials.

On to more pressing concerns: Are you being discharged, faithy?!!? Really hope so!

Waves to others (on previous pages), cannot remember much apart from peeing bugs (don't do it)!

Yes he had done the sechs before, but had been abstaining since he split with his previous gf a year before we met. I wonder if that helped though he claimed it had been so long he'd kind of forgotten We did 2/3 too! Snuck off between wedding breakfast and evening do while our guests played giant Jenga and connect 4. Then again wedding night. I actually insisted on afternoon sechs so we didn't worry about drunkeness for our first time!
Glad to hear you're enjoying the non-baybee winning sechs drizz.
bugs how are you feeling?

Ps still waiting for the docs

We kind of didn't do the sechs properly until after we got married. We are both nice Christian types (hahaha.... getting more lapsed as the days go on!) although we did try to have the sechs before we got married.

However, we encountered a few problems... namely an amusingly tight foreskin which refused to retract. My poor Mister, I threatened him with seeing the doctor so he did a bit of research and started stretching it. I was fascinated with why he had never seen the need to do it before though!

So, I wouldn't say that we have the best sechs life in the world, but it is very loving.... and I adore my lovely generous Mister.

Practice makes perfect though and we are definitely getting better!

Now, I am 100% sure that is TMI!

Impressive oversharing dot. Pleased it is so loving and getting better, the foreskins stretching and sechs-fail sound painful and funny in equal measures though.

Fingers crossed the docs are nearly here faith and let you go home!!

I have to admit that I am pleased I married SB and not one of the previous bfs, for many reasons, but the quality of sechsing is definitely one of them is oversharing like yawning: catching?

I feel amused by my over-sharing. Friday = boredome at work. What better way of getting over that than sharing vastly too much information with internet strangers.

What has everyone got planned for the weekend?

Drinking gin, avoiding my pg SIL. And you?

Morning ladies. I am a heathen athiest, so there was no pre-wedding abstaining for us! It does seem rather sweet though. I was with my first serious boyfriend for 5 years and he wanted to marry me, so I did contemplate what it would be like to only ever sleep with one person and then went off and humped everything in sight....

I'm off to see the BiL this weekend. So I will be confronted by a lot of toddler time. But I think it should be fine. I feel reasonably stable emotionally now I am off all the bloody hormone drugs. Although Droid is due this weekend and that might send me over the edge. I am mostly hoping that people have been sensible enough not to panic buy fuel around us so I can fill up before we go and not end up with having to queue for ages at a service station when we are driving on fumes or something. The panic buying is annoying me. A strike hasn't even been announced yet!

I feel rather immune to the petrol issue having not been further than the car park in over a week! The whole scenario is ridiculous.
Loving the oversharing on a Friday morning. Certainly killing time for me! Spesh the foreskin stretching. Nice.
Well I feel better in myself but I appear to be spasming - ?stones on the move. Dunno how they will view that. Wonder if there's any other meds I can have?

Waves at fellow atheist euro (that makes you sound like evil currency) and good luck with fuel stuff. Btw I am following your fred on IUI closely.

I find the petrol thing hilarious being that I live on an island that is 24 mile square!

I did have to go and fill up the car though... no queue or anything. Lovely! That petrol should last me ages now :)

at oversharing. Though I suppose I did start it. I am just feeling over sensitive this morning as my MIL has just shared with me a story which implies that she occasionally has sexual relations. I don't want to think about it!

I'm coming out, I want the world to know....

From hospital? Yay!!!!

Yup :) just waiting for my drugs.

Wheee! Thank God for that.

Woop woop. Home for the weekend! And just in time for the crap weather

Hurrah for discharge, er you know what I mean!

No exciting overshares from me: first boyfriend a teat who was only interested in getting in my knickers & rapidly lost interest when he had (and he was crap!). Second boyfriend, lovely but he moved to the USA, then I met HWHNN