Argh, and be welcome to our new pirate Fred. Be finding yourself a parrot and a wooden leg and hop on board for the trip of a lifetime. Argh.
If ye be new and wantin' to join our motley crew, be filling in the BESHtionnaire application below. Argh.
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Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
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Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
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Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
That's a "c", right there...
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Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
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Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.
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Number of pets?
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Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
George Michael. He'd be off the drugs and on the straight and narrow ('scuse pun) if we ever met...
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Lesbian crush?
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What are your views on camping?
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How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.