Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Find your sea legs and sail on the seven seas in the BESH Pearl

[HaveALittleFaithBaby]

Argh, and be welcome to our new pirate Fred. Be finding yourself a parrot and a wooden leg and hop on board for the trip of a lifetime. Argh.
If ye be new and wantin' to join our motley crew, be filling in the BESHtionnaire application below. Argh.

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

That's a "c", right there...

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

George Michael. He'd be off the drugs and on the straight and narrow ('scuse pun) if we ever met...

8. Lesbian crush?

9. What are your views on camping?

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.

Oh and to add to my woes/menkul my buzzwams are big and sore. Been assured the CT was ok but I'm a tad concerned about the morphine! Jump off that bridge in 10 days eh?!

Twas me faithy and I hope you feel better soon. The swimmers were deposited at the clinic this morning by SB (and they were looking good, the gyn told me and loads of them too).

Sorry about the menkul bugs, and are you menkulling too faith? Wouldn't that be a what-you-call-hm conception (the one Mary had)? Or did you and MSB manage the sechs while being so ill?!?

Sorry lemony blame the morphine That's a lot of co-ordination. Good to know for sure the swimmers were good un's going in! Is it a iui tww after today?
Immaculate conception? No, managed the sechs last weekend in the interim period when the antibiotics had kicked in and the pain wasn't so bad! Somehow couldn't bear to miss the potential window of opportunity although probably really stupid given how ill I was/am but assuming I did ov - buzzwam ache suggests yes - I'm only about 7 dpo so I'll poas next week. They decided not to do my bloods because it could be high enough to get hopes up but not conclusive! Far too poorly to menkul much. Just when my boobies twinge.

drizzle we have made the decision today to put back IVF due to my menkuling for a couple of cycles and try IUI in the meantime, so we will be on to that next month.

Faithy, it takes them an hour or so to "prepare" the sample, so he does his thing and then a bit later you pop in and spread 'em for the nice dr. I wonder if it will make KFZK feel like a prize bull and me like a dairy cow. Moo?

I'm 7dpo today too, faithy so we are sicky cycles buddies. You win on the sicky front though. We did have to do prossie swi intent though (no kissing, cos I was such a snotty mess at the relevant time - how romantic).

Is there a sick bay on the ship? Certainly we're below deck riding out the tww storm. You know what I mean about not missing the chance even though I wouldn't relish a Christmas baybee and didn't think I could possibly win one anyway, since I was sick, I still had to try! :)
Honestly, aside from the agonising pain that comes in waves and the fluctuating temp I don't deem that 'ill'!
I think that makes sense euro. Do you feel more comfortable about it all? Kind of helps you graduate up to ivf that's how I'd imagine it?

bugs it's way too early! could still turn to a bfp.
Let me check when futility fiend thinks it's coming...hang on... I'm back, it says Friday 6th.

I think if I ovulated cd12 so now cd19, Droid arriving on 5th would be cd27 giving me a 15 day luteal phase...if I ovulated then. I really don't know.
I'm off my head on morphine tonight. Bit too much. Feel quite weird. Look drugged up. Pupils like pinpricks. Interesting fact: you can stop agonising kidney spasms but even that can't ease tender buzzwam pain!
Yes bugs woodland walk tomorrow will definitely make up for it.

Just coming down poorly wenches, with a massive pot of tea - lemon and honey for euro and cakes for all in the sick and menkulling bay...

Me finks you are doing the right thing by putting ivf back, euro, you really did not sound like it was right for you at this point in time. And it will be lovely to have a iui cycle buddy next month. For now I am unmedicated (which they like to try first because in women superovulation does mess around with the cycles and they're not keen on multiples). I do have an hcg-trigger shot to time everything just right. I'll ask SB whether he felt like a price bull, we discussed the quality of the material available in the wank-room (which the hospital has!) but didn't go into animal parables. I did not feel like a cow, thankfully.

Stop menkulling, stop feeling guilty and start eating cake bugs! Go for a lovely long walk with the dog tomorrow before working from home, it will help you start up and the dog will forgive you, and don't come near a piss-stick again until your due [stern look smiley]

How are you now faith? Has the morphine left your body? And is there news on a treatment plan? How are you dot?

Btw shall I POAS? I would so love to see the second line, even though it would be a trigger-shot positive...

Waves at X-posting druggyfee. Impressive achy boobs!!

Suddenly come round and overwhelmingly hungry. Thankfully MSB left me with crisps! Poor fella came up and brought me some bits. I was too drowsy to talk so he was only here 15 minutes :( I really miss him. You can't cuddle in hospital in the same way.
Moo to the iui candidates :)
Depends how it would make you feel drizzle. I dunno if poas in your circumstances would feel a tad hollow.
Crisps have never tasted so good.
No doctor review since scan. I expect I'll see them in the morning. I really hope it is kidney stones because I think it is, and I just want a diagnosis and a treatment plan.

Never thought of that! To be honest, the food bills are halved and he doesn't.have to pay for parking because he's using my work pass . I got two days free tv too. I just paid for three more days in the hope I won't need them all!

I am alright. Bloody knackered though as I went to Zumba tonight and it wasn;t my usual instructor it was her evil sister whose class I said I would never do as she is too hardcore.

I was right!

Off for an early walk myself, to make up for eating 3/4 a whole banana cake yesterday and this morning

Aw, see? She's quite happy with the walk you offered her :) It's so nice when it's sunny in the morning.
Well I had a freaky dream that these weird white worms popped outmy finger as I squeezed it.
Right, today I've been in hospital a week. Bring on the diagnosis!

I can't believe it's been a week! Can you start kicking some ass (feebly, from your sickbed)?

I've got a kick arse nurse on today so I'm optimistic that they'll review me today!
bugs I'd go home but there's no point. Until they figure out what's wrong with me, I'm stuck. I'll only end up coming back in and I can't face the idea of going all through a&e/eau/finding a ward and going back through my history. I've probably underplayed on here how bad the pain is and how exhausted I feel. MN is keeping me going! I have the attention span of an amoeba! So I have a variety of activities - tv, music on phone, magazines, newspaper, MN - that I concentrate on for up to 30 minutes at a time. So, diagnosis, treatment, home!

faithy you sound like you are holding up very well.

I think I will feel more comfortable about IVF if I know it is definitely the last chance saloon, iyswim. I'm not squeamish about the procedure or the self-injecting or anything, but I find the process a complete turn off. (I hope I don't upset anyone with what I am about to say - it's just what is on my mind.) As we sat there yesterday hearing the explanation of how they put your body into menopause and then hyperstimulate your ovaries, give you a morphine-based drug and then suck all of the eggs off the surface of your ovaries, etc, etc we both found ourselves a little repulsed. I already knew how it worked but having someone say it out loud was quite upsetting. It is marvellous that this techonology exists and has a decent success rate for getting people pregnant, but it is a bit, well, icky. If I have to use it I will, but I am certainly not chomping at the bit to get there.

Anyway, I have called the hospital this morning and said that I would like to put off IVF for a couple of months and try self-funded IUI in the meantime. I just waiting for a call back now.

Lemon my clinic moves straight to medicated IUI I think, with Clomid. I don't really see the point, because Letrozole only ever made me lay one egg, so I don't really see how the Clomid will help, but I am fine with taking it.

bugs that sounds like a lovely morning walk.

Right, I've been seen. Great news. The scan showed nada. F*ck all. Great. So in theory it's good news, no kidney stones. But essentially it means they still have no idea what's wrong with me! They're going to start me on antibiotics for a suspected kidney infection. I'm very frustrated because I went to my GP last week expecting more antibiotics because I thought the infection hadn't gone. If I'd had them,my pain probably wouldn't have got this bad. Instead I've been on a wild goose chase trying to see what's wrong, a week of delays see if you get better on your own , waiting til yesterday to CT me. They could have done it Friday and realised there's no stones. I could have been home by now. Aargh! I'm utterly miz.
Sorry to be all mememe.