Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Find your sea legs and sail on the seven seas in the BESH Pearl

[HaveALittleFaithBaby]

Argh, and be welcome to our new pirate Fred. Be finding yourself a parrot and a wooden leg and hop on board for the trip of a lifetime. Argh.
If ye be new and wantin' to join our motley crew, be filling in the BESHtionnaire application below. Argh.

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

That's a "c", right there...

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

George Michael. He'd be off the drugs and on the straight and narrow ('scuse pun) if we ever met...

8. Lesbian crush?

9. What are your views on camping?

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.

Well I have some relatively good news, they are now pretty convinced I have renal colic/kidney stones based on my symptoms. I'm having another scan hopefully today and a CT scan if it's inconclusive. I'm happy at least it's moving forward!

Boo for renal colic/kidney stones but hurrah for a kinda diagnosis

Yes some people seem to forget sensitivity about infertility when they get their own win. While it's understandable they're excited, it's rather galling too. if when I get my win, I'll put very little on t'other place. I don't know anyone who admits to ttc, but there must be some. I'm just going to be a sensitive as possible about that.
In other good news, I'm getting eye drops because I appear to have conjunctivitis in ky left eye, it's red raw and l look like I'm squinting. Can't wait for that to ease!

Is the fred broke?

We've all gone down't pub w'out ye

Only kidding. I'm just back from a long day at work. And it's my birthday. Not my best ever, it has to be said. Am now going to attempt to eat my body weight in cake.

Seems very stop-start at the moment! Hey I've got the bay all to myself. But made friends with the girl next to me so I'm sad she's gone but she needed to be on a speciality ward! We swapped phone numbers though and we've been texting!
Hurry up nursey, I want my painkillers and to settle down!

[swings down from rigging in an elegant fashion]

Happy Day of Birf sinky

Hope the drugs arrive soon Faith

[climbs back up rigging to finish bluddy assignment] [tired]

Happy birthday sinky

Well my lovely husband is working a night shift tonight so when I got home I forced him into bed for a quick furtle. I felt a bit mean as he isn't feeling very well, but he claims it made him feel better!

Check out this gorgeous sky tonight though!

can't believe I missed it but Happy burfday sinkers! I bought you a bottle of rum

Happy burfday sinkers.

I'm glad you finally have a diagnosis, faith. What's the treatment now?

Marvellous. Opened FB today to see a photo of one of my ex-client's new baby which was delivered today and a picture of a friend's pregnant tummy making their wonderful announcement about their impending arrival.

Just fabulous. What a way to start my day.

Fuck it.

Also.... I still haven't laid an egg.... as The Mister so eloquently put it, 'where has it gone?'

Happy belated birthday, sinkers. A ration of birthday rum for the BESH.

Did the diagnosis happen this morning, fee?

Sympathy, dor. A friend has just announced her second pregnancy (along with gender), due in the month I'd have been. I want her to FUCK OFF, even though she is actually very nice.

Maybe it's a shy one dor? What cd are you now? When do you usually lay your egg? Fb is evil when you're ttc. Just hideous.
Well I've been seen, they're not pointlessly repeating the scan that showed nothing on Thursday but are going straight for CT scan hopefully today. Depends on type of stone and position as to treatment. Maybe meds, maybe laser to break them up which I assume I can have as an outpatient?
Since we did manage to dtd last weekend and Tuesday I've asked them to check my bloods on the outside chance by some miracle I'm diffed! Not even sure if I ovved since my temping went out the window and with being so ill but if I'm having radiation I'd rather they checked!

Sorry xp Northey. It sucks trying to be polite when ttc doesn't it? It's really made me want to turn into a super blunt evil witch.

I am now CD17 - usually ovulated around about CD13-15.

I am a super-blunt evil witch. It is normal for me!

I'm off to be scanned any time, yay! Wish me luck! Also the scaffolding is down so hopefully we'll be able to see out the window in the bay soon for the first time since I've got here!
bugs holiday sounds luffly - I went to napa a few years ago, twas gorgeous.
dor have you hidden people as necessary?

Yay for the scan! Is it dildocam or over the abdomen?

Ah north you're fertility focused! Twas a CT scan - like a giant washing machine circle thing - that went over my back/kidney area. No results yet but I expect when they're done they'll tell the docs who will come up to see Mr.

me, not Mr!

Ah, like on ER

Avast maties!

Good to hear you've been scanned faith, fingers crossed they will come and see you soon and give you a proper update on diagnosis and FX treatment. You've been in long enough!!

Belated happy b-day sinking!

Sorry about the pg-excess of fb, dot. Do use the hide function, I have hidden over half my friends (including my SIL ). That sunset is AMAZING though!

Lovely thought of hols bugs! We are off in about 5 weeks and I can see some shopping to be done over the weekend :)

Waves @ norf's excellent ER knowledge, that is how I know about those sorts of scans too.

And I am into the waiting weeks, iui was fine, uneventful if a bit fiddly. I am having serious fart-issues from the trigger though, so that goes on the list as a proper pg-symptom. (Unlike all those other PMT ones, no boob pain, no nothing, just a rather bloaty stomach).

Ooh iui time, exciting times sinking. I can imagine it to be a bit fiddly and messy! Can I ask because I'm not sure and morphined up enough to ask
When do they retrieve the swimmers? Are they fresh? Or frozen?!
Yea novelty of being here has well worn off now. Pain is unpleasant! I'm desperately hoping the scan shows kidney stones or they'll still have no clue why I'm like I am! That would make me . I can't see what else it would be though....